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"Harrikins! What are you doing off in the corner here?" Harry looked up from where he was watching the black lake out a window, eyes getting lost in the sea of Gryffindor red, before seeing... one of the twins approaching him. He was only sipping on his second drink, but that must be enough for him not to tell them apart anymore. "There's a party in your honor, and you're squirreled away in a window seat?"
"Ah, flying from a dragon wore me out, yeah? Not in the mood to celebrate," Harry dropped his feet down to face the room, giving the twin space to sit on the sill next to him, and stared at the golden egg still in his lap. "Besides, I'd rather celebrate once there are no new mysteries hanging over me."
"Aw, you without mystery? That's like a blonde Weasley, or a- a drunk Granger!" The twin pointed excitedly, making Harry follow his finger to see Hermione dancing, her tie loosened and her skirt riding up where Cormac McLaggen held her hips. "I never thought I'd see the day!"
"I don't like how he's looking at her. Does she even notice him pulling up her skirt?" Harry's concerns were dismissed when Hermione glanced back and purposefully started grinding against Cormac. "Ah, yep, she knows."
"Good for her," an arm looped around Harry's shoulders, "I think, Dear Harry, that if even Miss 'Mione can loosen her tie, quite literally, then you ought to be able to follow her lead, eh?"
"What, and make out with Cormac?"
The twin, who'd been focused on Harry, quickly whipped his head around. "They're making out? Really?"
Harry laughed.
"Ah, no. Will be soon, I reckon. No, no, what I mean is that you ought to set that egg aside, chat it up with me, and relax! Did you hear that Angelina got caught in a broom closet with a Hufflepuff recently?"
"Angelina?" Harry had thought she'd had something going with George. Shit, he still didn't know which twin this was. "I thought she had something with a certain redhead I know..." Yeah, that was vague enough to not give him away.
"Ah, she did. Past tense. A certain redhead caught on that he fancies blokes, so, changes had to be made."
"Blokes?" Harry was no closer to solving which twin this was, but the questions were piling on. "How would being with a girl make someone realize they don't like girls? Maybe it was just Angelina that was the problem."
"Nah. You know it's not the girl herself, it's girls altogether when there's no other reason not to like her. Or when you wank to the thought of a cock."
Harry choked on the sip of... whatever was in the cup that he'd lifted to his mouth.
"Too much?"
"Not- I don't think so, just too sober. Let me get a bit more drunk before we talk about cocks, yeah?" Harry laughed and finished his drink, then laughed again as the twin next to him held up two more.
"I didn't realize you had one already when I came over. What do you say we both drink before the cock-talk?"
-=o0o=-
Soon enough, the alcohol was properly filling Harry's head and making the world feel slow like his body didn't react in time with his brain. The twin by his side seemed to be at a similar point, if the way they were leaning against each other, having moved to a small settee in the corner with a few more drinks at some point, meant anything.
The promised 'cock-talk' had come and mostly gone, leaving the two on a giggly examination of how likely they'd be to sleep with various of their housemates.
"Okay, okay, absolute bludger-shot-"
"A curveball?"
"A bludger-shot, Harry, we're wizards." The twin patted Harry's leg, making him laugh, then continued as if he'd never been interrupted, "he's already graduated and I'm gonna regret this, but I have to ask. How likely: Percy."
"No!"
"No?!"
"No! Never!" The two were cackling, leaning into each other in a way where every move was simultaneously about to toss them to the floor as well as correcting them from doing so.
"Because he's your best friend's big brother?"
"Because he's a fucking nerd!" The loud statement launches the twin into such a laughing fit he pitches backward, clutching Harry's shoulder to stay up. "No, no, come back! I have to say this, now you've asked!" Harry hauled the other up and grabbed the sides of his head to force eye contact. "Percy's most redeeming factor is being a Weasley. I love your family, I'd marry into it without a second thought, as long as it's not Percy! And probably neither Bill or Charlie, they're both so old! And I've seen Ron naked, that's not gonna happen!" The two fall into more laughter, foreheads pressed together as they lean into each other for balance.
"Oh, no, Harry!" The Twin gasped, grabbing Harry's head as well, "I hope this doesn't mean you'll go after poor little Ginny! She's a baby! Not even old enough to be here tonight." His voice dropped into a dramatic whisper as if the last sentence was a carefully kept secret, but his volume stayed the same.
"Nah, Ginny gets all weird around me, 'cause of the... who-I-am," Harry's brows drew tight against the Twin's, his smile dropping before he gasped, "Oh! Oh, that leaves you!"
"Me?"
"You're my best way into the Weasleys!"
"There's two of me!"
"Yeah, yeah, either one! You're both fit!"
"We are?"
"Sure you are! I've seen you in the- the quidditch- after games when we change. You're fit!"
"I am?!" The Twin leaned back just enough to watch Harry's head wobble as he nodded, then had to blink a few times when his own head did the same. "How likely, then? You've looked! Have you thought?"
"Oh, well- I mean-" Harry pitched to the side, making the Twin quickly catch his shoulders and set him back up. Man, he really was fit, he lifted Harry with only one arm! "Yep! Very likely!"
"Very, Harry?"
"Harry says very!"
The Twin laughed, eyes darting around Harry's face before almost falling forward, noses pressing into each other awkwardly as their lips made contact. They were both smiling, teeth clacking against each other for a moment before reacting to what was happening. Their eyes closed and their lips started moving against each other, Harry still holding the Twin's head in place while he tilted his head to free their noses.
The rest of the party, which had already turned into a comfortable backdrop to their conversation, faded completely from awareness. Harry felt the hand on his shoulder tighten, the other curling into the hair at the base of his neck. He really needed to trim it, his hair had never been so long as far as he could remember.
Eventually, the two pulled apart, the party coming back into Harry's peripheral while he stared the Twin in the eyes. "That was my first kiss."
"Your first? Ever?"
"Ever at all!"
"Merlin, Harry!" The Twin let go of Harry's shoulder to grab his leg instead, "That's cause for celebration! I'll get- I'll grab us another round!"
"Another? We're sloshed!" Harry leaned forward while the Twin stood on shaky legs.
"Bah! Not enough to celebrate your first kiss!" Leaning closer only made the Twin pitch forward again, lips crashing into Harry's again as he almost seemed to breathe in the taste of his mouth. "I'll be back! Right back!"
With that, Harry was left alone on the settee, eyes unable to follow the redhead disappearing into the crimson sea that was a Gryffindor party. Instead, he started watching the party itself, mind now comfortably foggy and empty as he followed movement from one housemate to another.
Was that a Ravenclaw he saw? He didn't know they were invited. Whatever, he hadn't been to any of their House Parties in the past, since years 1-3 weren't allowed. Usually, 4th years wouldn't be invited either, but Harry was a champion and champions couldn't be left out, so, of course, the other 4th-year Gryffs were permitted as well. For fairness.
"Harry! I got a drink if you want it." The Twin landed on the settee next to Harry again, holding the two drinks he'd mentioned leaving to grab.
"Ooh, yeah! The celebration!" Harry grabbed the offered drink, quickly taking a few swallows and not worrying about how much was left in the cup before setting it on the floor and turning back to the Twin. Now that he wasn't alone anymore, his brain was much, much more focused. "Hey, hey, come here. Come on, let's-"
Harry grabbed the Twin's jaw, turning his face and gliding his tongue along the Twin's lips. He'd seen... someone doing that in the crowd only moments before. It was alright, Harry guessed, but then the Twin's lips parted and- oh boy, that must be why that someone had done that.
There was a hand in his hair again, another wrapping around his back to pull him close, and the distant sound of the party growing fainter in his mind.
-=o0o=-
Harry woke up in bed the next morning, head throbbing and an instinct-driven spell pinning a curtain over the windows before the light made him puke, and then noticed that he was on top of the covers.
Merlin's bright blue undies, he was never drinking like that again. Why had he drank that much, anyway?
His mind slipped through a few shots of light brown eyes, easy smiles, and fiery red hair, always accompanied by laughter and a drink in his hand. Ah, one of the twins had decided he needed to relax, he remembered now.
They'd been watching the crowd, sipping on their drinks, there was some conversation about the appeal of sleeping with blokes- Ah, right, Harry hadn't realized that was something he'd even thought about, but he certainly seemed to have a lot of thoughts about it while he was drunk.
Did he really like when blokes were fit?
...yes, yes he did. Especially when it was right after a quidditch match and they were all adrenaline and muscle and laughter and-
"Oh, fuck..." Harry sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands as another set of memories trudged across his mind. "Ron."
"No."
"Ronnnn."
"'Arry, 's too early. Shu'up."
"Ron, I kissed your brother."
There was silence, then a rustling from Ron. "Tell the truth, 'Arry."
Harry pulled his head from his hands to stare forlornly at Ron, who was perched on one elbow to glare at him in the dim light. "I don't know if it was Fred or George, but one of them had his tongue in my mouth."
Ron glared for a few more moments. "Well, figure ou' which one. I'm only killin' one brother," he dropped his face into his pillow. "An' we're neva' drinkin' again!"
A series of shushes echoed from their dormmates, making Harry chuckle as he laid back down.
Fuck, which twin had that been?
-=o0o=-
In another room, only two floors up, two hushed voices were panicking behind drawn curtains.
"So if you got him on that little couch..."
"And you got him to his room..."
"Did we both kiss Harry last night?"