Chapter Text
"I love you, Sensei… if I'm ever reborn, I..."
"Aqua, Ruby… I love you."
Aqua jolted awake.
That nightmare had been haunting him for days.
He wiped his tears and forced himself to get up.
He stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
The hot water reminded him of that day.
His mother's blood, warm, covering him as she held him.
Even if it was just water, he could smell it.
He felt the iron in the air.
The memory hit so hard it made his stomach turn.
He forced himself to change the water to cold, even though it was autumn.
He didn’t want warmth. He didn’t want memories
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It had been two weeks since he broke up with Akane.
She had tried to find his father.
She tried to kill him.
Aqua couldn’t say he had truly loved her, but the breakup hurt.
Not as a romantic loss, but as a betrayal from someone who had understood him.
*I used her.
I manipulated her just to get a name.
And when I got it, I let her go.*
"Hikaru Kamiki..." he muttered in disgust.
Finally knowing the name only dragged him deeper down.
*I'm a shitty person.*
Since then, he’d distanced himself from everyone.
He didn’t talk. Didn’t smile. Slept poorly.
Ate the bare minimum, breathed just enough.
He lived only to think about revenge.
It was the only reason he hadn’t thrown himself off the balcony.
That day, Miyako and Ruby were getting ready to go shopping.
Aqua figured he'd have time to investigate without interruptions.
"Aqua," Miyako said from the door, "you’ve seemed a little down lately. Why not come with us? Some fresh air might help."
He didn’t want to go.
But if he refused with that dead look on his face, Miyako would get suspicious.
He didn’t need a worried mother.
"Alright," he replied, digging through his drawer for clothes.
Hours passed. Aimless walking. Bland ramen for lunch.
When they got back home, Ruby went straight to bed—she had an early rehearsal the next day.
Miyako stayed downstairs doing the dinner dishes.
Aqua went up to his room, as always.
He sat on the bed. Thought about his father, about Ai, about his own cowardice.
After a while, he lifted the mattress.
Wrapped in an old T-shirt beneath it was the knife.
He pulled it out carefully.
He stepped into the bathroom.
Closed the door.
Placed the knife on the sink like it was a ritual.
Took off his pants
His left thigh was covered in scars.
Crooked, poorly healed lines. Some still red.
Scars no one else had seen.
Not Ruby. Not Miyako.
Not even Ai.
*What would you think of me if you could see me now, Mom...?*
He held the knife with a steady hand.
No tears. No trembling.
He just wanted to feel something that wasn’t that emptiness.
A knock on the door.
"Aqua? Are you alright?"
He lowered the knife instantly.
Held his breath.
"Yeah," he said calmly, "ate too much. I feel heavy."
Lame excuse. It worked.
"Alright. Rest well. See you tomorrow."
He heard the footsteps walking away.
Looked at the knife one last time.
It wasn’t a smile.
It was the face of someone who doesn’t know if they’re sad or just tired of being sad.
He wrapped the knife again. Hid it under the mattress.
Turned off the bathroom light.
And returned to the same darkness as always.
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It was a quiet day—at least on the surface—at the Saitou-Hoshino household.
Miyako was getting ready to leave while Ruby watched TV and Aqua stayed locked in his room.
"Ruby, I have a meeting at Strawberry Productions. I’ll be back tonight. Don’t wait up."
"Sure, Mom. Bye!" Ruby answered with an automatic smile.
Miyako rushed out, leaving the house in silence.
Ruby turned off the TV. Looked toward the stairs.
*Onii-chan's been so down lately... maybe if he watches a movie with me, it’ll cheer him up a little.*
She climbed the stairs calmly and pushed Aqua's door open without thinking twice.
"Onii-chan? Wanna watch a movie with me?"
The room was empty.
"Where did he go...?" she muttered, stepping inside.
She sat at the desk to wait.
Looked around, feeling the air. Then she saw it.
A black notebook, lying among other journals.
Small. Old. The word "Notes" on the cover.
*What secrets are you hiding, Aqua? A cheesy poem for Akane?
Oh, right... I forgot.*
She smiled and reached for it… but then heard footsteps coming upstairs.
She spun around in the chair.
Hid the notebook behind her back just as Aqua entered.
He froze when he saw her.
"Ruby. What are you doing in my room?"
She smiled, pretending to be casual.
"I wanted to ask if you’d watch a movie with me."
Aqua stared at her coldly. Hardly blinked.
"I’m not in the mood."
That was all.
Ruby lowered her gaze, sighed, and left the room in silence.
*Aqua’s really changed lately. He hardly ever smiles… and he’s always in a bad mood.
I guess breaking up with Akane affected him more than I thought.*
After leaving Aqua’s room, Ruby went downstairs for a cup of tea.
The house was silent.
The tea didn’t calm her down.
*Why am I so uneasy?*
She went back to her room. Closed the door. Sat on the bed.
The notebook was still in her hands.
She stared at it for another second, as if she could still return it without consequence.
And then she opened it.
She expected a diary, maybe some nostalgic lines…
But it was disjointed notes. Scribbles with dates.
And what they said chilled her to the bone.
*Revenge Ai*
*Who is my father?*
*Sarina Tendouji*
*If I reincarnated... could Sarina-chan have done it too?*
*Takachiho, Miyazaki*
*I must enter the entertainment world and find my father*
*Cut myself again. Miyako almost found out*
*I should’ve saved Ai. I knew the risk. I’m an idiot*
Page after page. Each line a stone.
Aqua talked about killing.
About torture.
About leaving no way out.
About revenge.
About himself, his hatred…
And his past.
Reincarnation...?
Sarina...?
Cutting...?
Ruby felt her chest tighten. The air turn heavy.
What is all this, Aqua...?
She closed the notebook with trembling hands.
Set it aside.
And then, as if her mind had opened a locked door, something broke free inside her.
A memory buried for years.
A promise.
*I love you, Sensei… if I’m ever reborn, I...*
The phrase struck like lightning in the silence.
And with it, another image: a lifeless body, in a dark cave.
*Sensei…*
*It can’t be.
It can’t be him... right?*
She stood frozen for a long while, breath unsteady.
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Somewhere beyond time, in a place where realities fold, a little girl with white hair and red eyes watched the scene.
Small. Pale.
Smiling.
"Well... I didn’t see that coming."
A crow landed on her shoulder and whispered something.
"Will she be able to save him? Who knows. This timeline is divergent. I kind of like the mystery."
She closed her eyes.
"Do you know how boring it is to watch everything already knowing how it ends?"
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Night was falling.
Ruby had gone out with no destination.
She wanted to clear her head, but couldn’t.
*What’s going on, Aqua...?
Or are you... Sensei...?*
The phrase "I love you, Sensei… if I’m ever reborn, I..." echoed in her mind like a shattered scream.
She remembered her childhood as Sarina.
She remembered finding Gorou’s body in the cave.
She remembered the pain, the broken promise.
And now, that absurd, impossible idea...
*Aqua is Gorou.
My brother is my Sensei…*
"No… it can’t be…" —she whispered, stopping cold.
She looked at the sky, already turning violet.
"How long have I been out?"
At least an hour. If she took any longer, Aqua would start to worry.
And then she froze.
The notebook.
*I didn’t hide it. I just left it on the bed.*
Her heart sank.
"No...!"
She ran.
The streets blurred. Her breathing, uneven.
Only one thought in her head:
*Please don’t let him have gone in. Please don’t let him notice it’s missing. Please don’t let him know I read it.*
She burst into the house, breathless.
Everything was quiet.
She took the stairs two at a time, feeling the floor vanish beneath her.
When she opened the bedroom door, it was already too late.
Aqua was there.
Sitting on his bed.
The black notebook in one hand.
In the other, nothing. Just his face.
Cold. Expressionless.
But his eyes…
Were knives.
"Ruby."
His voice was low. Monotone. But every syllable carried weight.
"What were you doing reading my notebook?"
Ruby couldn’t answer.
For the first time in a long while, she was afraid of her brother.