Chapter Text
“I mean, so what if I fail my chemistry class? I’ll just go run off into the woods and join a wolf pack or something, anything really as long as I don't have to find bond enthalpies for a reaction anymore or know constant pressure calorimetry,” you pondered aloud, twirling a pencil around in your fingers.
You were spending a quiet Saturday with your friend Mary Jo at her father’s house. The time was supposed to be spent preparing for the upcoming midterms by completing the professors’ assigned homework, but little work was actually being achieved between the two of you. When you first arrived, Mary Jo wanted to pop some ready to bake cookies into the oven because in her words, “We need to have our reward all set to eat when we kick our homework’s ass tonight!”
The next hour flew by as you two began studying but soon were sidetracked by taking quizzes to find out what mythical creatures you each embodied. The cookies had finished baking by that time and were practically begging to be eaten then and there instead of later, so they were. Mary Jo attempted to get the study session started again but you diverted her attention by asking about a new show she was watching.
She went on a tangent for a long while before she realized the trap and tossed her criminology textbook at you. Now you were both seated at her kitchen table, making an effort to focus on your assignments. Well, Mary Jo was at least. You kept shifting in your seat, zoning out on the stupidest things, searching up memes, and peeking out the window to look out on the cloudy fall day.
A light rain shower had begun in the afternoon but had stopped by evening, leaving puddles on the ground and gray clouds still hanging in the darkening sky. You turned your attention back to the chemistry problems at hand, wishing the entire subject would burn in hell. Mary Jo looked up from her work and laughed. “Hey, that’s not such a bad idea! Where’d you go? Russia or the Arctic?”
You raised an eyebrow at her words. “Are those the only options I have? I’m pretty sure there’s wolves in Africa too.” There was a short pause as both you and your friend typed separate questions into Google. “Here we go! They have the Abyssinian wolf which lives in the Ethiopian Highlands. It’s kinda pretty, looks more like a coyote than a wolf though.”
“Its fur is a nice color, I’ll grant you that, but the Arctic wolf is way cooler—no pun intended—look how big and fluffy they are!” She spun her laptop around to show you a picture of a beautiful pack of wolves covered in snowy white fur roughhousing with each other. “Plus, they also– Hey, wait a minute! I know your tricks!”
She shook an accusing finger at you. “We’re not doing this again, okay? I wanna get the homework for this chapter done with tonight, so I can–” She was interrupted by her phone ringing. “Oh, it’s my aunt. Hang on a sec, I have to take this.”
You smirked at how easily distracted your friend was and watched Mary Jo prance upstairs to her room, wishing you had an excuse like hers so as not to be sitting here, agonizing over your academic troubles. You slumped down in your chair and let out a long sigh. It was hopeless. You would never understand chemistry.
Voicing your questions in class ended in the professor giving a long winded answer that somehow always left you even more confused than before. The tutors, bless their hearts, tried their best to explain the problems slowly and clearly, but the process made you feel worse about not understanding the course material. You would never survive four more years of chemistry.
This coupled with the fact that it was a mandatory class for your major gave way to sleepless nights and demoralizing days. You would have to switch majors which would further complicate future matters. Closing your eyes, you rubbed your temples to stave off the incoming headache. The sound of a door opening and closing made you sit upright and open your tired eyes.
All traces of weariness evaporated from your body as your gaze fixed upon the new person. Mary Jo’s father lingered in the doorway of the kitchen wiping his feet on the mat and carrying two paper bags filled to the brim with groceries. He hadn’t noticed your presence yet and you took advantage of this rare opportunity by drinking in his appearance. He wore a black trousers and a matching turtleneck and coat which fit him very well in your opinion.
His dark blond hair was combed neatly to the side without a strand out of place. He switched on the light and you were pleased to see the slightest bit of a startled expression on his features. Usually it was him catching you off guard, either by walking around a corner or coming up from behind. He had surprised you on more than one occasion since his movements were so silent and fluid. You offered the older man a smile and greeted, “Good evening, Mr. Skywalker.”
“Hello. Were you studying in the dark? And where’s Mary Jo?” He crossed to the kitchen counter and placed his items on it.
“Oh, she went to go take a call in her bedroom. I was doing homework on my laptop.” You gestured to the glowing screen.
He pursed his lips together in displeasure. “Hmm, next time turn on the lights while you study. It’s not good for your eyes to read in the dark, especially on a computer screen. And you should consider turning on the night light on your devices in the evening. That helps too.”
“Yes, Mr. Skywalker. I’ll remember to do that.” You refrained from rolling your eyes at his fatherly advice. The sun had gone down just a few minutes ago, so it wasn’t that dark. Still, he had your best interests at heart and it was touching that he cared about something so inconsequential. He started putting away his groceries in the cupboards and refrigerator. You waited a few seconds for him to keep talking. When he didn’t, you asked, “How has your day been?”
These moments alone with him were far and few between, meaning you were eager to continue this conversation as mundane as it was. He responded, “I had a productive day. How was yours?”
‘I didn’t get anything of substance done because I procrastinated all day and it’s gonna bite me in the butt sooner rather than later. My homework is piling up. My chemistry class is slowly sapping the life outta me. I hate my life and I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Thanks for asking.’
That frank answer lodged in your throat, keeping you from speaking aloud. You glanced at textbooks crowding the table, the frantic scribbles drawn in your notebooks, and the quiz that was nowhere near from being completed. How could you say you were failing without sounding pathetic? “Uh, fine.”
He seemed to see right through your lie which wasn’t hard, given how hesitant your tone was. “School giving you trouble?”
“Yeah, a boatload.” You confessed, “Chemistry’s—um—hard to wrap my mind around sometimes and…” You trailed off, reluctant to say anything more which would reveal how lost you really were with the subject.
“What exactly are you struggling with? I did rather well in my chemistry classes. Maybe I can be of some help.” He pushed up his sleeves, exposing his muscled forearms, drawing nearer.
“Oh no! That’s fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, I don’t wanna be an inconvenience or anything.” You shrugged your shoulders and waved him off. This isn’t how you imagined the conversation going. You had no wish to display your dumbassery to the man you fantasize at night about. Sure you knew some girls played dumb in front of their crushes, but you preferred not to embarrass yourself because then it wouldn’t be an act.
“Nonsense. You’ve never been an inconvenience to me. Now let’s see what the problem is.” Had it been any other time, you would’ve swooned at his words (he was so thoughtful and kind), but now you just wanted to sink into the floor. Dammit, who knew that Mr. Skywalker’s generous nature would end in your humiliation?
He leaned over to read the section in your textbook detailing molecular orbital theory. One arm rested on the table, his gloved fingers brushing the pages, while the other arm lounged on the back of your chair. This might’ve been the closest you had ever been to him. The experience was, to say the least, thrilling. If you inched a little to the right, your cheek would brush along his, however, you remained frozen still like he would be scared away if you did move.
This man was being a considerate human being, preoccupied with helping his daughter’s friend do her homework and you were, heart racing, mind absorbed by him and him alone. Your attention focused on his leather glove tracing the words and diagrams on the paper. He always wore gloves. In fact, you couldn’t remember ever seeing him without them. What was the reason behind that fashion choice?
Did he think they were stylish? He wouldn’t be wrong if that was the case. Did he have a scar or a nasty burn he wanted to hide? You had never worked up to courage to ask him or Mary Jo. Were his hands constantly cold? You would love to warm them up if they were. How would it feel to have his gloved hands wrap around your bare throat?
‘Don’t think about that!’ This was neither the time nor place to dwell on those kinds of thoughts. You should be concentrating on what he’s explaining, not on the subtle scent of his cologne wafting through the air even if it was absolutely divine. You inhale a little deeper, trying to decide what it smells like. Whatever it was, you prayed you could find the same type and douse your bedsheets in it.
How could one man be so ravishing in every aspect? His mouth was moving, yet the sound didn’t quite reach your ears, you’re too busy staring at his lips. How would it feel to have them against yours in a slow, tender kiss? What would it be like if it turned more desperate and passionate? What if his mouth trailed down past your lips to your neck and further down to your chest to leave his mark on you? What if he swept all the useless textbooks off the table and threw you down it instead and—
“Does that make any sense when I put it that way?”
You’re snapped out of these daydreams into harsh reality by the question. His eyes were practically drilling into you. Your face felt hot and you avoided his gaze, lest he somehow discern what scenario you had been imagining. You cleared your throat. “ I… I zoned out. No, it doesn’t. Sorry.”
“Getting distracted, huh?” To your utmost horror, surprise, and delight he inched closer. His fingers touched your chin and gently moved your head so you were facing him. His thumb stroked your jaw, causing your shock to rise and your confusion to grow. He said in a hushed voice, “You seem to do that an awful lot. I do wonder what’s happening in that mind of yours. What could be so distracting that you ignore what’s right in front of you. Someone ought to teach you a lesson in listening to your elders, especially when they’re trying to help you.”
If your heart had been beating fast a minute ago, it had all but stopped now. All possible responses—innocent and less so—died on your lips as you met his stern gaze. You leaned closer, hoping against all hope he would be the one to close the gap. Footsteps sounded on the stairs in the other room. Before you could fully register his movements, he stood up and crossed to the kitchen, leaving you sitting starstruck at the table. Mary Jo appeared and bounded to her dad to give him a hug.
“I just got off the phone with Aunty Leia. She sends her love and says to remember to bring two side dishes for dinner next Sunday. And no green beans.”
“Thanks, sweetie, I’ll remember to do that.” Her father began washing vegetables in the sink and then started slicing them.
Mary Jo slid into her seat and asked, “Wanna stay for dinner? We can finish our homework later. I’m starving and plus we’ll be smarter if we have some food in our system.” She started to stuff her papers and books into her backpack.
“Um.” Your brain hadn’t caught up to current events yet and was still stuck replaying the scene that had just transpired between you and the man mere feet away. You glanced at him, looking for any sign of direction for what you should do.
He turned the stove on and put a pot on. With his back turned to you, he added, “Stay for dinner. It'll be ready soon enough and we’ll be glad for the company.”
There was no way on earth you could sit at the same table with your best friend’s father and eat his food and pretend you hadn’t been engaged in a fantasy about him and overlook the moment you had shared with him. You shot up and followed Mary Jo’s example of cleaning up. “No. I can’t tonight, sorry. I’ve– I’ve got things to do that I forgot. I’ll text you later Mary Jo.” You pause at the back door. “Goodbye, Mr. Skywalker. Enjoy your dinner. Both of you.”
You rushed out, nearly running away from their home, a place you were determined not to visit for a long time. You had to get control over your thoughts and feelings for your best friend’s father. It wasn’t appropriate and having them wouldn’t be good in the short or long term. Your pace slowed down as your fingers traced the skin he had touched. Something happened between you and him this evening. Something that couldn’t be forgotten.
Or maybe you were overthinking and he truly believed you were an empty-headed girl that needed to learn how to listen when others were talking and there was no double meaning to his remarks. You should save your energy for figuring out chemistry, not getting all hot and bothered by Mr. Skywalker. On the other hand, his words did seem to possess a double meaning behind them (unless you were truly delusional).
While you were having this internal debate, Mary Jo, to her great disappointment, was setting the table for two. She was complaining to her father. “I wonder where she ran off to in such a hurry. Probably to go see Sev again. I wish he’d stop hogging her all the time. Actually, it can’t be him because he’s in another state right now. I wonder what’s up with her then?”
His face an indifferent mask, Luke Skywalker poured a glass of water for himself and replied, “Yes, I wonder…”