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[Y/N],
Long time no chat.
Sorry for the sudden reappearance, but Wilbur wrote to me about a revolution that he needed helped setting up, and so I’ve found myself currently taking residence in this server. Phil once mentioned something about you living around the Dream SMP, and since I’m now stuck here for the unforeseeable future, I thought I might as well send a letter and see how you’re doing.
So… how are you? Last time I saw you in person was during the era of the Antarctic Empire. It’s been.. some time, I guess.
My bad. I hadn’t meant to have fallen out of touch with you— a different battle was calling my name and I was deaf to all other calls, including your own.
Again, my bad.
I won’t say it wasn’t worth it, though.
You’ve heard of The Great Potato War, right? I have to say, it’s my greatest feat in battle yet— a battle of wits and knowledge as compared to strength, and one I was glad to win. I mean, c’mon— curb stomping orphans in regular PvP battles versus beating one nerd at potato farming into the dirt— y’know which one I find more appealing.
However, as it turns out, farming potatoes for hours upon hours on end is not helpful in maintaining and keeping up friendships. I may have accidentally ghosted many other people than just you.
(I’m not apologizing again, that would be cringe. You get the point.)
If you get this letter and you care enough to respond, please do.
Maybe we can talk again, just like we used to.
I wouldn’t mind the familiarity.
Sincerely,
Technoblade.
[Y/N],
It’s good to see that you haven’t left me in the dust after all.
For a while I honestly thought you wouldn’t write back, that is until I found your letter in Tommy’s grubby hands. Don’t worry— I stopped him before he could open it. He must’ve gotten ahold of Phil’s crow before I could.
You don’t even want to know the amount of screaming I endured.
Next time I’ll make sure to get the letter before he can— or I’ll treat Brian with some extra seeds so he’ll come straight to me.
I read over your letter, and I’m honestly appalled. No, “hi, how are you?” or “are you safe, my good friend Technoblade?”— just you mocking my potato farms and “what happened to Wilbur?”
Ouch. I see how it is.
Listen, you make fun of me now for what I accomplished during The Great Potato War, but the skills I gained during that time are irreplaceable. For instance, now I have the utmost honor of doing unpaid labor for Wilbur and Tommy because neither of them know how farming works. Without me, they’d starve.
Me being rank #1 in potatoes is fundamental for this rebellion to work. Trust me. Would I lie to you? Of course not.
Anyway, to answer your question about Wilbur— basically he and Tommy got exiled from the country they founded and are currently trying to win it back. Hence why they called me, the local anarchist and government abolisher. And just from looking at this country, it needed to be gone yesterday— last WEEK.
Wilbur and Tommy filled me in on the details of why they’re exiled, interrupting and correcting each other constantly. It was hard to get a straight story. Wilbur said something along the lines of that they would’ve won if two other parties hadn’t formed a coalition government, and Tommy blabbered out that their plan of ‘closing the polls while they were the only party in the poll’ had failed. Which is concerning and definitely something a dictator would do.
Wilbur wouldn’t be a dictator. I know he wouldn’t. And Tommy is a notorious liar.
Anyway, that’s why they called me. We’re gonna get rid of that ugly city one way or another. I don’t think I can tell you many details about the rebellion without Wilbur getting upset, but here is the short of it:
- it’s been named “Pogtopia” (incredibly cringe, but it works.)
- it’s literally an UNDERGROUND rebellion
- Tommy and Tubbo are our only allies, as far as I know. Tubbo is supposedly double-crossing Manburg as a spy
And for plausible deniability, you didn’t hear this from me.
Where are you at? Coords? I’m gonna assume since you’re smart enough to stay away from the drama, you’re farther out from the SMP.
There better not be any governments where you are— or else I’d be sorely disappointed in you.
Sincerely,
Technoblade.
Hey [Y/N],
I managed to catch the letter without Tommy and Tubbo intercepting it. Another win for Technoblade.
I appreciate the attention to my wellbeing this time around. Yes, I am doing great, and yes I am safe, thanks for asking.
What, did you think I wouldn’t be? Nahh— Technoblade never dies.
Kidding, kidding.
The tundra is an interesting choice for a base, not one I really expected from you. Especially from how you always complained about the cold back during the Empire days. Not only that, but all the open terrain was one comeuppance we had to deal with constantly— seeing enemies from all sides and being open from all sides. To actually live in a place like that? It sounds like a soldier’s worst nightmare. But if you really think it’s peaceful out there, then I guess I’ll have to believe you.
It kinda looks like you’re becoming a pacifist.
Laaaaaame.
I would invite you to join Pogtopia, but Wilbur’s been a bit on edge recently. I think living in a ravine for this long is starting to get to him. He snapped at
Anyways— I’ve started horse breeding as a hobby. There’s not much to it. I’ve been breeding the horses with the best stats in order to create a super-horse. I would say that I’m about 70% of the way there. Right now I have about… 8 horses? 9? They’re not perfect yet.
When I’m done, I’ll offer you one of the byproduct horses. I’ll make sure it’s fast enough, but not the fastest, because I already called dibs.
Other than that, the potato farm got an upgrade. Tubbo automated it for me. I have to admit, the kid’s got me beat— even with all my intellectual prowess, I have zero idea how redstone works. How does he do it? I don’t understand.
I remember you being proficient at it back during the Antarctic Empire. All those farms you made that I could never keep up with. It was impressive.
I think you’d like Tubbo. Have you met him yet?
In your next letter you gotta tell me how life in the tundra is, because as fun as taking down a government can be, things are pretty stale right now.
From,
Technoblade.