Chapter Text
"G-go after them... please... His fate is in your hands... please... find him..." And just like that, Player was thrust into the world as the unlikely hero-heroine wielding a wooden sword and a god#### ball. They nearly resist the urge to scream, first they were witness to a kidnapping that sent them into the past and now this?!
If the admins at Roblox HQ themselves couldn’t solve the issue, how could they make a difference?! They wouldn’t be able to do #### that’s what. Unfortunately, they were also filled with misplaced selflessness and a thirst for adventure, so they agreed.
And honestly, who would decline?
Even though they were never asked in the first place...
So, off to the meadows they went carrying responsibility and not much else in their inventory, actually... Player shuffled around their nearly empty messenger bag, muttering under their breath when they realized just how under prepared they were. Just their luck, they forgot to stock up on supplies before they went. That would've been a good idea–
"HEYYYYY!!!"
They swore they heard a noise and slowly peeked behind them, only to get barreled into by a kid barely as tall as their torso.
[–5 HP]
"Oowie..." They both went sprawling on the grass and Player felt their soul slowly leaving their body, feeling the pain and heavy weight on their abdomen.
Scratch saving the world, they don't think they'll last a day if absurd things like this keeps happening.
They had to slowly prop themselves up on their elbows. And sure enough, there lying on their chest, was a child with snow white hair, matching cape and a green shirt. He was very contently using them as a pillow, not even moving or anything.
"Kid... What the hell." They stopped themselves from shoving the infant off of them. That's morally wrong, dude.
"Ah! You're Player, right? My dad told me about you!" He stopped to get up mid-conversation and outstretched a hand, a not-so-innocent smile on his face. Player followed suit, taking the hand although he couldn't pull them up much. "You HAVE to let me come with!!"
Huh????
"You can't say no! I can fight! I can do... other stuff as well!" Player nearly choked on their words, they needed to save the world and now they're being forced to do the worst thing ever, babysitting.
The kid was nearly beaming with excitement or well, something like that. Little did they know about just how maliciously annoying he would be.
"No. Absolutely not." The child froze for a second before he started pulling out the waterworks, sniffling and eyes starting to get glossy. Oh god no, they did not need to deal with a crying child on their hands. Although, it was obviously fake. "Who– who even are you, kid?"
"I'm 1x1x1x1..." Pft– Player fought against the urge to snicker and failed spectacularly. Suddenly, all the crocodile tears were gone and the kid was filled with the rage of a thousand suns. "WHATT?!"
"Wow, your dad sounds like he sucks, kid." Who would name their baby that? They tried to conjure up a picture of the guy, probably someone addicted to gamersupps.
"You only say that cause you don't have a dad!"
They choked on their own spit, "####– Who taught you manners, HUH?"
"MY DAD DID!!" What a surprise, it was the father in this kid's life. If they were being hired as a babysitter, it was common courtesy to at least let them know first... Now they knew who he got it from. They already felt like an overworked worker.
Sweat dripped down from their temples, "Look, I can't just–" A loud stomping caught them off guard and they quickly turned around, hand already flying to their sword.
It was a helmet noob and a couple of winged ones as well, great...
"I GOT THIS!!" Before they could protest, the child pulled out a giant ####### sword the size of his ego. No wonder this kid was cocky, he had a weapon. What were his parents thinking?!
They stood frozen, mouth agape. He barely looked like he could hold the #### thing.
"You look really stupid right now." 1x —They could totally abbreviate it to that, right?— plainly stated before holding out his sword. "So? Are we gonna fight or not?!"
This will be a long day indeed.
Player heaved as they planted their feet and swiftly pulled the sword from the ground. They sighed inwardly, wondering how this kid even managed to get his weapon in the ground when the enemies were either taller than him or flying.
How the heck does someone deal with having children.
"C'mon, let's go already, SLOWPOKE." Their eye twitched at the voice coming from behind them. Just once, why can’t he be nice just this once? Because apparently, the little innocent kid thing was just an act, instead he was a little demon that wouldn't stop pestering them.
Suddenly, a light bulb lit up in their head as they stared at the black stained sword in their hands. Maybe they can mess with him a bit...
Little did they know how much of a bad idea this was.
"Y'know what?" They turned around to face 1x who had a bit of a scowl on his face.
"If you're gonna be like that," Pausing for dramatic effect, they adjusted their grip and grinned. "I'm gonna keep your sword, kid."
"SAY WHATT??!!" They nonchalantly lifted the blade above their head and he did exactly as they expect him to, jumping and trying to grab his sword back. Despite his small size, Player found themselves having to twist and turn to avoid the determined assault for his sword. When that didn’t work, 1x tried a barrage of punches, jabs, and grabs to physically wrench them down. “GIVE IT BACK!!”
[–1 HP] [–1 HP] [–1 HP]–
They tutted, pushing him away slightly. “Nuh-uh. You gotta learn your lesson first.”
“And you’re stealing MY sword!” The hits grew slightly weaker as he realized that it was ineffective. “I could get you banned!” They raised an eyebrow at that, giving him a rather unimpressed look. "I'm being serious! I know THE Builderman, y'know?!"
"Sure you do, kid."
They extracted themselves from the attack and quickly slipped the other sword halfway into their bag. 1x fumed and tried raising their first again but was quickly shut down by Player. Ouch, they were low enough as it is, thank you.
Wait a minute... If they have his sword and he can't just leave without it... then he's going to have to come with them. They bit their lip, finally realizing the hole they just dug themselves into. And they decided to dig their grave while they're at it. They were not about to tell this smug kid that they ####ed up and now have to give back the sword that they already took.
And so the game of chicken started.
"So..." He followed along as they started moving, looking from the side with a devilish grin on his face. "Does this mean–"
"Not. A. Word."
And that's how Player found themselves in an unlikely adventure with 1x1x1x1, a kid who unbeknownst to them is actually Shedletsky's son. How long will it take for them to find out this crucial information? A while. How long will it take for them driven insane? Probably not that long.