Chapter Text
“Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be ok.”
Aubrey’s words swimmed his head. Words kel knew were lies. Nothing was ok,not anymore. As Aubrey reassured him in the closet,he spaced out,her words becoming blurs in his mind as he replayed what had happened earlier that day. But then,he was no longer inside that closet. Kel was somewhere else,somewhere rainy and devoid of colour. He always liked rainy days,he had so much fun playing in the puddles with his friends but not anymore. This rain wasn’t wet,it just hurt him. Kel wandered around this space until he noticed the lightbulb. He stopped and stared at it,it was in the shape of a sun. He poked it,then everything in that dull room shifted. Instead of white,everything suddenly became orange,including him. He felt…happy but not a real kind of happy. It was a fake happy,he seemed happy but on the inside he was slowly breaking down. He poked the lightbulb again and it shifted again,back to the rainy,depressing void. He lied down and basked in the sadness for a moment. Kel then awoke from someone shaking him. It was his mother,her eyes were full of tears. “Kelsey Hernandez! You fell asleep in a time like this?!” She screamed. Kel understood why she was screaming at him,who wouldn’t. “Mom-I’m sorry.” He choked out. She began to sob more,”I can’t believe this. I can’t believe anything. He’s gone.” She said. Kel stayed silent trying to block her out. “SAY SOMETHING,KEL. ANYTHING. YOUR BROTHERS DEAD. HE KILLED HIMSELF!” She screamed at him before she broke down into a sob again. “I’m sorry kel. I shouldn’t be angry at you,it’s not your fault.” She said hugging him. But Kel knew the truth. The truth he wanted to block out. It was his fault. He was the one who pushed him,after all. As Kel’s mother hugged him,he went back to that room in his head. The rainy room devoid of colour. But this time,Kel poked the lightbulb immediately. He just wanted to feel happy for once,even if it wasn’t real. He just wanted to be happy,like before.