Chapter Text
Arthur is deep in thought when Merlin comes to sit beside her on the castle steps. She looks up and their eyes meet for a second before Arthur looks back down, as if to avoid Merlin’s gaze.
“So, you and Gwaine?” Arthur says suddenly.
“What about me and Gwaine?”
“Don’t deny it, I saw you earlier this morning?” Arthur looks defeated but gives no mind to Merlin’s puzzled look.
“You know.”
“You mean …?”
“Yes.”
“With Gwaine?”
Merlin smirks, then rolls her eyes. Arthur seems to blush and looks away. Arthur had only recently discovered how close the two were, laughing and whispering and giving each other looks when they thought no one else was looking. Well, Arthur was, and she did not like it.
“So, you like him?” she finally says, although it kind of hurts. She says it in a lighthearted way, or at least she tries to, hoping Merlin doesn’t detect how broken she feels inside.
“Of course I like him, he’s my friend.”
“But you would like him to be more than that? Unless… you already are an item.” Arthur’s face falls at the realization. She’s entirely too late, there is no way she can intervene at this point, or is there?
“Arthur! Gwaine and I are not an item!”
Arthur’s face lights up for a second.
“You are not?”
“No! I don’t like him like that.”
Arthur finally looks at Merlin who looks confused as well as flustered.
“So he’s not your type then? Because I’m quite certain you might be his type.”
As soon as she says it, Merlin looks away from Arthur, and starts picking at her skirt, absentmindedly. Arthur keeps her eyes focused on the girl, hoping this time her determined gaze might open up the mysterious girl in front of her.
“So, what’s your type anyway?” Arthur says suddenly, cracking a vicious smile although she’s feeling anything but. She really wants to know who Merlin’s got a crush on but doesn’t want to unpack why that information is so vital to her, at least not right now.
“Oh I don’t know,” Merlin says, distractedly weaving her fingers together and looking anywhere but in Arthur’s direction.
“Blonds?” she says it as if she’s telling Arthur what she’d like for dinner. Like she wants to be excited about this great big meal, fit for a king, but knows she’s gonna have the same as she usually does: a potato stew. Something inside Arthur twists and she feels suddenly dizzy with realization. She looks away from Merlin, her face falling without her control. The knights are getting ready to start the training session and Arthur knows it’s time to join them but she can’t shake this feeling of dread knowing Merlin’s heart belongs to one of the knights. Why else would she always watch so intently from the sidelines?
“It’s Percival, it’s it? You like Percival.” Their eyes meet as Arthur blurts it out. Merlin’s face is blank for a moment and then she looks utterly confused. Arthur wants to be wrong, gods, she doesn’t want Merlin to marry any of her knights even though they are her most trusted men and she knows they would treat her well. No, Arthur does not want Merlin to marry anyone but knowing she might one day, and even soon, makes Arthur’s skin crawl.
Before Merlin can reply Arthur has turned her back and is heading towards the training ground.
~
Training with the knights is like usual, except Arthur feels really on edge. She has the urge to give the session her all, as if she has anything to prove being the best warrior and all. She just wants to hit something, not Percival’s head exactly, but something like that. She really likes the guy, at least she did until a few moments ago, he’s really nice and honestly softer than his outer appearance might suggest. And still she’s mad because he has something she doesn’t: Merlin’s heart.
Oh gods, it would be really unfair towards Merlin, not to let her marry someone she loves, right? If Arthur could choose she’d have Merlin by her side as long as they both should live. Merlin had said that she’d be happy to serve Arthur, 'till the day I die' she said, giving Arthur one of her looks. Arthur always feels her body go tingly when she recalls that moment, for reasons she’s not willing to unpack just yet. But she’d just said it, she didn’t really mean she’d be happy serving Arthur for the rest of her life, right? That’s just one of the things Merlin says sometimes when Arthur least expects it. And their eyes linger on each other for way longer than Arthur thinks might be appropriate and yet when they eventually look away Arthur wishes Merlin would look back or do something to make Arthur’s anxious heart stop fluttering so damn hard.
But then she just pats Arthur’s shoulder, saying something wise that makes Arthur lost for words (not that Arthur isn’t lost for words most of the time in Merlin’s presence, really, how does she even come up with all these insults?)
So yes, training session is going well for Arthur, it’s not like the knights have noticed anything. Except …
“How much longer do you reckon they will keep this up?” Leon mutters, standing next to Gwaine who is taking a sip of water. Arthur is currently banging a large hammer at Percival’s shield, barely concealing her unwarranted frustration.
“You mean the love birds?” Gwaine smirks.
“I reckon we will have to take matters into our own hands if they keep it up for much longer. Everyone in this kingdom thinks they are married except for the two of them. Merlin still thinks Arthur has no interest in her.”
“How is that even possible? I don’t think Arthur could be any more obvious if she tried. Have you seen the way she looks at Merlin?” Leon’s voice is calm with a hint of frustration.
“Dude, I don’t know anyone who is so in love without realizing it,” Gwaine says, chuckling.
“You think she doesn’t even know it herself? Gods.” Leon shakes his head. “And Merlin? You’ve talked about it with her right? Does she know she’s in love with Arthur?”
“She won’t really admit it, not directly anyway, but I think she’s come to accept her feelings for our queen.”
They both shake their heads. They watch in silence as Percival gets up and switches with Mordred. Poor Mordred, they both think.
“You know they kissed once,” Gwaine suddenly blurts out. Leon’s face lights up.
“What?”
“Yeah, a few years ago, Merlin told me recently. We were a couple of pints in ofcourse. Otherwise, I don’t think she would have told me.”
“A few years ago? What happened? Why didn’t they get married after that?” Leon’s exhilaration over the news is palpable.
“They don’t talk about it, never have. Merlin isn’t sure Arthur even remembers, having been under a love spell when it happened.”
“Wait wait wait, a love spell? Arthur was enchanted?”
“Yeah, and apparently Merlin kissed her to break the enchantment.”
“And it worked?”
“Yeah of course. Although funnily enough, Merlin hadn’t been the first to try and break the spell. She thought Lancelot might be Arthur’s true love.”
“Lancelot?” Leon looks astounded.
“It didn’t work of course, so then she asked Gwen but it didn’t work either. That’s when Merlin finally stepped in and broke the spell.”
“And?”
“And nothing. They never talked about it. Merlin is still not convinced Arthur loves her. It’s so ridiculous because you can’t break a love spell unless both parties have strong feelings towards the other, Merlin knows this and yet she kept going on about how her love for Arthur must have been strong enough alone to break the spell.”
“So she’s still convinced it was one sided?”
“Yeah, I keep telling her — and she’s the witch so I shouldn’t have to you know — that love spells don’t work like that, Arthur would still be totally enamoured with lady Vivian if it wasn’t for that kiss.”
“They are completely useless sometimes aren’t they?” Leon says, shaking his head. Gwaine laughs.
“Don’t tell them I said that, I honestly can’t believe I said that.” Leon’s face falls.
“Don’t worry, we all know they can be a little useless sometimes. Your secret's safe with me.”
As if on queue, Arthur looks directly at the two.
“Leon! Gwaine! Water break is over.”
“Yes my lady,” they say simultaneously before picking up their swords.
~
Merlin sees Gwen as she’s walking back into the palace. She’s not in the mood to watch Arthur’s training session today. She’s utterly confused about Arthur's behavior earlier, why was she going on about Merlin’s crush? And why did she assume it must be Percival? Out of all the knights? He’s not even technically blonde, or is he? Merlin has never really given it any thought. She thought telling Arthur her type is blonds was enough of a giveaway. Arthur seems to be as clueless as ever, or in denial which is no better.
“Oh my gods, Gwen, it’s so nice to see you.”
“Nice to see you too Merlin.” She’s smirking as she says it, as if she knows exactly what’s going on inside Merlin’s head.
“Is everything okay?” She says when she notices the desperate look on the other girl’s face.
“Arthur’s acting so weird today.“
“Nothing unusual then?”
“She kept asking me if Gwaine and I were a thing.” Gwen laughs. She’s gotten quite used to Merlin’s complaints at this point.
“Then when I told her I didn’t see Gwaine as anything other than a friend she switched to thinking I have a thing for Percival instead. Then she just went off without giving me any room to say anything. She’s SO infuriating sometimes.”
Gwen suppresses a smile.
“So, did she say something about the flowers?” Gwen remembers seeing Merlin coming up the stairs this morning with a big bouquet of wild flowers and assumed she’d be putting them in Arthur’s room.
“The flowers? Oh yes, the flowers. I think she liked them. Although she didn’t say anything, just admired them dreamily when she thought I wasn’t looking.” Merlin rolls her eyes.
“She looked quite happy when I saw her coming down after breakfast. I don’t remember seeing her this light on her feet since, I don’t know, since her father passed maybe?”
“You’re right, she looked really happy this morning, but then when I met her before training just now, she was totally changed. She looked so insecure and sad and I’m so confused because what could have happened in the past hour and a half since I last saw her to completely wreck her mood?”
“I don’t know.” Gwen says simply. She’s as confused as Merlin looks at this point. Merlin rakes her mind for an explanation.
After tidying Arthur’s room and helping her get dressed Merlin went down to the kitchen with the breakfast plate and some laundry. Arthur had some parchments to get through before training practice and while she was busy attending to that Merlin had gone down to the marketplace to get some supplies for Gaius. Outside the palace on her way back she saw Gwaine and Percival. They were just standing there, as if they were waiting for her specifically, looking mysterious. They asked if Arthur had liked the flowers and after Merlin had explained that Arthur was a total sucker for flowers but never wanted to admit it Percival said:
“When are you gonna get me flowers, Gwaine?” He had a comical look on his face with a hint of seriousness in his voice. Gwaine smirked.
“I didn’t know you liked flowers babe.” Realization dawned on Merlin’s face.
“Wait, are you two?” They both smiled and nodded their heads in confirmation.
“Since when?”
“Since Gwaine finally admitted that he likes me,” Percival said, looking proud.
“It’s been official since last night. That was when we…” Percival elbowed Gwaine’s arm as if to silence him, “... made it official.”
Merlin congratulated them by hugging them, kissing them on their cheeks, saying how happy she was they’d made this happen. When Percival suggested they’d have a date with her and Arthur, Gwaine elbowed him and changed the subject to the upcoming training session.
What Merlin didn’t know was that while speaking to Gwaine and Percival, Arthur was standing by her window, closely following the interaction. She couldn’t hear their words, but saw how brightly Merlin smiled and how elated she seemed. The intimate touches she shared so nonchalantly with the men made Arhur’s insides start to churn.
She turned away from the window as soon as she saw Merlin’s lips reach Gwaine’s face. She would not expose herself to more torture than was necessary. Arthur could feel her throat start to close up and she blinked her eyes a few times before sitting down again at her desk, she had no time to mope around feeling sorry for herself while her queenly duties awaited her.
Arthur’s heart could be ignored but not her kingdom.