Work Text:
ONE YEAR - POST MOVIE
Pain was not new to Santiago. Particularly when it rained. But he never would stop hating and resenting it. For stealing away days of his life like the worst kind of thief. He hated how it lighted up his nerves like a power line exploding —snapping down his spine in a fiery blaze of torment all the way to his toes on his left foot. Even the smallest movement made it worse. Right now, laying alone in agony felt like a repeat of all the times before when there'd been no one to help him.
"Hey, I managed to get your meds before the pharmacy closed for lunch break," Frankie's voice knocked Santiago out of his spiraling thoughts as the pilot pushed through the bedroom door.
Santiago looked over from his position on the bed, where he'd become a human burrito ever since they got back from the ER. One toradol shot and prescription for muscle relaxers and tramadol later, he was laid up on the only good side he had with a pillow between his knees. Frankie knew underneath all the covers, he had a heat pad on his back.
"Thank fuck. I don't wanna be alone," Santiago grumbled. Though his relief could not be masked at the sight of his husband.
Frankie set the meds and bottle of Smart Water on the nightstand on Santiago’s side of the bed. He rubbed gently over the blanketed side of his husband. "How yah feelin'?"
"Like all the meds stopped working."
"Good thing I came with more!"
Santiago snickered weakly. "My drug mule." He fumbled for the Walgreens bag of meds.
Frankie chuckled and took the bag. He pulled out the pill bottles, and went through each to dole out the proper medications and doses. He cracked open the water bottle and held it out to Santiago. Frankie made sure his husband had a firm grasp on the water bottle and his pills. Soon as Santiago took his meds, Frankie took the water bottle to set it back on the night stand.
Frankie crawled up on the bed to curl around his husband's prone form. "Open floor to bitch about what hurts."
"Fuck this weather change, man. I'm to young to be able to tell by my arthritis when there's a high and low pressure system moving through. I wanna lay a different way. Think my side's asleep but if I lay the other way my Gerd acts up and I choke on stomach acid. I think I have every stinging, shooting, sharp, tingling, electric shock feeling from my lower back to the bottom of my left foot and my toes are numb. I'm so fucking over this, Frankie," Santiago grumbled into his pillow, sounding exhausted and defeated. "I used to chase bad guys down back alleys and through jungles with this body…"
"Even after you got hit by a car and shoulda been paralyzed. Or blown out a door by a guy in a bomb vest. What about that bus that hit you in Bogota?" Frankie teased. He carefully wrapped his arm around Santiago, spooning in closer.
Santiago huffed in amusement. "None of those shoulda had long term repercussions. I was invincible."
"Mhm….so have you given in and decided to do the back surgery?"
Santiago sighed heavily, "Yeah. I can't…can't live like this…I can barely drive or walk when this shit flares. I still wanna work. Being stuck like this for the last two months…" He sniffled.
Frankie kissed the back of his husband's neck right over the surgical scar. "I know you're scared, bebe. But this time, you're not alone. And I'll be here to help."
"I know…" Santiago swallowed thickly. Then confessed quietly. "When I went under for my other knee last year…, I, uh…I had this vivid dream…my dad was there. He told me…he was there to say hello. But the next he came, it was to take me with him…" Santiago took a shuddering breath. "I don't," his jaw worked. "I don't know if he meant next time I went under, or…or what…but Frankie. That shit scared me."
Frankie hugged his husband a little tighter. "I'm sorry, bebe." He rubbed his hand over Santiago's hip. "But you can't let fear stop you from living either. And this…this isn't living. I hate seeing you in pain like this."
Santiago nodded. He drew in a shuddering breath. "I can't stand it either."
They laid quietly for a few minutes.
"Your turn…what's your bitch?" Santiago asked softly.
Frankie chuckled. "My carpal tunnel is hating me today. I think every bit of arthritis in me is letting me know exactly what joints are old and tired of sitting in a helio seat. But the tinnitus at least is somewhat quiet…"
Santiago reached up and back to sweep his fingers over the shell of Frankie's ear. "Those hearing aids seem to be doing their job then."
"Mhm…I didn't realize how deaf I was getting."
"I appreciate not getting yelled at—" He paused at Frankie's chuckle. He continued, "And yeah, years of flying choppers even with ear pro in will eventually get to anyone. I'm glad they're helping."
Frankie nodded against Santiago's shoulder. "Me too. I actually got to use the bluetooth feature on them today when I called Ben."
Santiago smiled and then winced when he shifted to try to get comfortable.
"Am I hurting you?" Frankie started to ease his hand off Santiago's hip.
"No…well no more than I already am. I'm gonna hurt either way, so please just hold me," Santiago looked over his shoulder to catch Frankie's eye.
Frankie tucked back in closer. "Ok."
"You know what sucks the most about all this?"
Frankie hummed in his chest.
"We just got married. We're supposed to be having tons of hot sex. And we're both to broke dick to do anything with each other. It seems like every time I feel well, you don't. And the reverse…" Santiago complained. "All I wanna do is fuck you into the mattress…"
"What if I wanna fuck you into the mattress?" Frankie joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Santiago huffed. "Anything at this point. But I can't even remember the last time we did anything together."
Frankie reached up to scrub his fingers through his husband's curls, particularly the "skunk stripe" (as Santiago called it) of silver hair. Santiago melted into his pillow, one he had specially made to support his neck. Frankie sighed. "I don't either."
"It fucking sucks."
"It does."
The lapsed into quiet again: Santiago brooding and Frankie considering.
"For the record," the pilot spoke up. "I don't care if we ever fuck again or not. I just love being here with you…in OUR bed…together. After everything, I'm just…" He cleared his throat as emotion snuck up on him. "—just happy to be here with you."
Santiago squeezed his eyes shut. He fumbled his hand up from under the covers to catch hold of Frankie's. He twined their fingers together and drew the back of Frankie's hand up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss to the broad, scarred hand. His breath was a little shaky. Emotion choked in his throat too.
"Te amo," Santiago confessed, fragile and whisper quiet. I'm so glad you're here. I'm not alone. You always come back to me.
"Te amo," Frankie kissed just behind his husband's ear. He squeezed just a little more because he could hear every unsaid thought and feeling packed into those two words from Santiago.
They held each other, just existing together.
"I'm gonna call Dr. Proctor Monday to set up the surgery," Santiago murmured.
"Good."
"You'll wait for me while they do the op?"
Frankie chuffed. "Bebe, I've become the master at waiting for you."
A laugh burst out of Santiago. He squeezed Frankie's hand. "Yeah, you have."
Finis.