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In the Nomad, Raiden spends his time resting. Absolutely against his impulses, but resting.
Sunny has taken to combing his hair whenever she hears him in pain or upset. She always seems to know when he's crying, or when his pain is spiking. She'd probably fight Snake herself if he tried to allow Raiden the freedom to leave again. It's a sweet, caring thing that he's certainly not used to.
Another thing he's not used to, is the constant proximity to Snake. And the embarassment he feels for it.
The last time they were together was after Solidus. Snake had disappeared without a sound, just as quickly as he'd arrived, leaving Raiden wondering if the interaction itself had been leftovers of the AI forced upon him.
Back then, Snake had been like a force of nature. He was quick and calculating, and he disappointed Raiden in more ways than one. He recalls something about "don't meet your heroes", but over time... he came to understand. He managed to not hold a grudge against Snake, even tried to take his advice. He left that day wanting to be him, to be that living legend.
Well, he supposes not everything is meant to be.
"Morning."
The wet rasp of a voice comes from across the room, a harsh but feeble noise.
Raiden slowly opens his eyes, and they quickly find Solid Snake, in all his glory. The older, strong man who moves with the same precision but slower than he used to; whose hair had rapidly gone from rich brown to a silvery white like Raiden's; whose eyes held far more grief than he's ever said. The man who aged fifty years in less than five.
"Is it morning?" Raiden asks weakly, his voice box crackling with static.
Snake nods. "I asked Hal the same thing, if it makes you feel better."
Raiden wants to apologize. Beg for forgiveness, and he can't even articulate the reason.
"I wanted to see you," Snake continues, lighting up a cigarette, "Make sure you're alright. Hal and Sunny are down for a nap; they were up all night."
"You wanted to see me?"
Raiden mentally slaps himself for focusing on that, of all things. Stupid.
Snake just nods, making his way over to the medical bed that Raiden's strapped down to. He carefully sits on the edge, his hand brushing Raiden's alloyed arm. If his limbs weren't so useless and heavy and numb right now, he might've tucked his hands in to keep them from touching Snake.
"How are you feeling, really?" he asks quietly, "Don't give me what you tell Naomi or Sunny."
Raiden swallows stiffly. "Bad."
He nods again, satisfied with the honesty.
"Me too." Snake clears his throat, his eyes always looking at something other than Raiden. "I, ah... Don't like talking about it with Hal. Makes him upset."
"He knows."
"Sure, he does. Like I know you're upset." He takes a long drag off his cigarette and blows smoke away from him. "Believe me, I get it. But it gets a lot less painful for everyone involved if you just take the damn help when you need it. I've had to learn that the hard way. Still learning, I guess."
"I am."
Snake takes a deep, rattling breath and exhales slowly. He's in pain. Just powering through the final stretch.
"Snake... Do you remember what you said to me? When you came to me last time."
He seems to think on it for a long moment. "About you? Yes."
"You said... Said I was..."
You were the lightning in that rain.
"I meant it."
Snake's fingers curl slightly, feeling the warmth radiating from Raiden, the kinetic energy of the machinery working overtime to keep him alive. He looks at him finally, with those narrowed blue eyes, and there's fondness.
Raiden tries to shake his head, but it comes out as a tiny jerk, a spasm.
"How can you still see me as that?" he breathes, "After... all this."
"I've never questioned your humanity, Raiden," he says softly, voice strained and raw, "That's something that can never be taken from you. No matter how hard the Patriots tried, they couldn't undo or destroy what makes you the man that I know. You're still Raiden, and you're still alive. Everything that makes you human is in here."
He touches his finger to Raiden's temple.
"In here. That's what we all are." Snake turns away, taking a drag from his cigarette. "Everything else is just dedicated to function, but if we lose our mind, our free will... We're nothing."
Raiden is already nothing.
Ever since Arsenal, ever since Solidus Snake, the AI... He struggles to even know what's truly real. Even if he finds something to believe in and to love, he doubts he can ever know for certain. After his past was taken and his memories all but disintegrated, how can he ever be "real" again, anyway?
He stays quiet. Snake doesn't need to hear that; he probably already knows Raiden's feelings on the matter. For some reason, he's really good at that.
"We're going to get you better," Snake continues, and the extra tension in his speech causes him to have a brief coughing fit, "We're... going to get you back on your feet."
"I'm not worth-"
"Don't... Don't. There's nothing we wouldn't do for you."
He's never heard that before. He doubts he'll hear it again from anyone else.
"Why?"
Raiden doesn't even know why he asks that. He's not even sure if the question was meant for Snake, or for the people who made him what he is, or the ones who left him behind, or the ones he loved and lost. He doesn't know where Snake falls in all those.
"We love you. I love you," Snake admits, resting his palm against Raiden's cheek, "It's because you're loved, Raiden. You'd do anything for Sunny, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would."
"Then you don't have to ask why." He thumbs away tears that had brimmed over Raiden's eyes, strangely tender in the way he tucks his platinum blond hair behind his ear. "You're loved."
Raiden nudges his face into Snake's hand, closing his eyes at the touch.
"Don't leave me."
His voice is so quiet he's not sure if Snake even heard him, but he nods. Raiden manages to raise his own metal hand up to the flesh one against his face, pressing it tighter to him and nuzzling at Snake's palm.
The older man shifts forward slightly, pausing, unsure for a moment, then very slowly leans down to press a kiss to Raiden's forehead. The moment that warm touch graces him and Snake's shallow breath ruffles his hair, his vision goes blurry with tears.
"I'm not going anywhere," he rasps, not pulling back from him quite yet, "I've still got a little while with you."
"Snake, I..."
"Shh."
He rests his scarred cheek against the young man's head, and Raiden feels the moment his artificial lungs sync up his breathing with Snake's. He doesn't remember the last time he was held like this, almost cradled, in a way so protective and gentle. Maybe he never was.
"Get some rest. For me."
He adds the last part because he clearly knows Raiden won't do it for himself, and it sends a tiny pang of guilt through him. The old man slowly, regretfully, withdraws and makes his way towards his sleeping quarters, where he spends a lot of his time these days, his body tired and aching.
A little while.
"I won't forget you, Snake."
He looks over his shoulder at the man lying there with tubes and wires running through him, and he nods, before leaving Raiden to his recovery.
He hopes it'll be longer than a little while.
