Chapter Text
Sasuke Uchiha was 7 years old and freshly traumatised when he(she?) realised that she was not Sasuke Uchiha. Or maybe she was but with memories of a past life. Although the memories were blurry at best she had enough to realise that she had been reincarnated. She had two things to consider.
First of all, reincarnation was real. Second of all, whoever was in charge of it had a terrible, terrible sense of humour.
She wasn’t reborn in England or America or any country she knew of. No, instead she was reborn in Konoha, a place she vividly remembered being fictional. She wasn’t even reborn as a civilian or some filler character, not even a girl, no she was reborn into Sasuke Uchiha. Her first thoughts were 'I'm going to die thrice over’. She could barely throw a ball in her past life let alone all the ninja stuff from the series.
Laying in a white hospital bed, the smell of disinfectant lingering in her nose. Sasuke Uchiha stared up at the ceiling despairingly. What sort of cosmic joke had she landed herself in.
As people came and went giving her official forms to sign (oh look there’s the death certificates for my clan) she eventually was deemed well enough to be discharged from the hospital. Again, Sasuke really questioned the ethics of this world.
(The Hokage came at some point but Sasuke didn’t really care to remember his drivel about the will of fire)
standing at the gates of the abandoned compound she could only silently despair again before resolutely steeling herself. Perhaps she could never become the strongest ninja but she sure as hell could become the richest. Konoha had a lot of empty markets to fill and being filthy rich sounded better than being an avenger. Sure, Itachi had done a full wipe out of their clan. However, Sasuke knew well enough that the path of vengeance would not turn out well for her. If she considered the original series to be an indicator, she'd stick to being a merchant.
First order of business, find out where the money from the Uchiha clan was being stored and how she could access it….
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After careful inquiry Sasuke came to a conclusion. Konoha… was an absolute scam fest. They decided to ‘withhold’ that money until she came of age or became a Genin and allocate her an orphan fund every month. After calculating she found the fund barely covered necessities let alone start up capital. She fumed silently while doing the calculations, how was a freshly orphaned clan child supposed to cope?! Furthermore, her official leave from the academy was coming to an end and she was set to go back within the week and she had still not come to terms with her new male body (there had to be some way to change that, she was not being a boy any longer than she had too, she has had enough life altering experiences for one reincarnation).
Considering her options, Sasuke figured she had to start small, after all, she had to build brand recognition first, the Uchiha left quite the reputation in the village for her to deal with. A reputation that did NOT bode well for any future attempted sales. One thing she could leverage is her fangirls. Although before recovering her memories she saw them as annoying, now she saw them for what they truly were: valuable customers. Their infatuation with her could bring in enough revenue to fund her actual plans. While she still outwardly presents as male it would be a good idea to gain their patronage… (Yes, she recognised it was a bit scummy but she’d deliver good quality and useful products to compensate).
So she got to planning, the Anbu on duty would later recall strange cackling echoing through the Uchiha compound late at night accompanied by the furious sound of writing.