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“I’m sorry, Orion.”
No matter how hard he was holding on with both servos, the sturdiness of Shockwave’s frame was gone. In the warm morning light, the berth was as cold and empty as his spark.
Optimus jolted from his recharge, reaching around blindly in a knee jerk reaction, only to find himself alone in his quarters, drowned in datapads. He must have dozed off after long hours of overworking.
That dream again. No matter how hard Optimus tried to forget, Shockwave’s voice kept replaying over and over in his processor, reminding him of bitter memories—of the night after the horrors had been done to the former Senator, the night that they had confessed their feelings to each other, when Orion Pax had convinced them both that things would be all right. That beautiful night, followed by Shockwave’s radio silence, then the war.
From that point on, Optimus had only seen Shockwave during their battles—exchanging fists, firing blasters. Then came Shockwave’s time drive scheme—the last time Optimus had gotten to see the return of the old Shockwave. The mech had asked Optimus one last favor, which he and Megatron had complied with and relieved Shockwave of his mistakes.
Now that the war had been over, that dream was appearing even more frequently. Was this some kind of guilty conscience from Optimus’s mind, or a premonition?
***
> WARNING: FILE ##### MISSING
> CHECKING MEMORY INTEGRITY…
> CORRUPTION FOUND. NO FIXES AVAILABLE.
The internal systems check should have been alarming, but Optimus could not find it in himself to care anymore. These lapses and corruptions in his memory banks had become quite frequent. The alterations were so minute that he had not even been aware of them, until they reached Shockwave-related memories. He felt as if he could not even trust what he remembered anymore—every time he tried to recount the events, something was slightly different. He discreetly asked those around him to confirm their version of different incidents, and to his surprise, everything still fit. If he was not hallucinating, someone must have gone around changing everyone’s memories, which sounded next to impossible.
Despite his medics’ chiding, Optimus just brushed it off as old age and exhaustion from the murky politics of a post-war Cybertron. But he felt the loom of something bigger, more dangerous—a dark prophecy—at the horizon.
***
“Prime, sir! There is something you may want to see, sir!” There was a hint of urgency in the voice of an Autobot soldier through the comm.
Optimus pinched the bridge of his nasal ridge, feeling the telltale signs of a processor-ache behind his optic sockets. He picked up the transmission. “Optimus here. Elaborate, soldier.”
“It’s not something to be said over the comm,” a voice cut in—Prowl’s, Optimus realized. “You should come down here, Prime. To the site of singularity in Crystal City.”
The Autobot leader let out a long sigh. He was not ready to come back to that place—his spark still ached whenever he thought of what had transpired there, of the love he had refound and lost again. But if Prowl was pestering him in these ungodly cycles, it must have been something important. He replied an affirmative and rolled out.
***
A ghost? Was he still dreaming? Was this some kind of bad joke?
He ran internal diagnostics, only to receive results confirming that this was very much real.
Behind the bars, chained and bound—Prowl’s diligence, no doubt—was none other than Shockwave. He seemed to have gotten a new paint job, but his frame design was too distinctive to actually fool anyone. The yellow and blue color scheme looked off on him, but after the time drive incident, Shockwave must have changed somehow, Optimus reasoned.
But the most alarming thing was what came out of Shockwave’s mouth.
“M-Magnus, you’re still alive?! But Soundwave confirmed your death! Slicer got to you! How?”
The other mechs looked at the babbling Shockwave in confusion. Ultra Magnus obviously was not here—he was still on his pilgrimage with Rodimus and the Lost Light crew. Optimus exchanged a questioning look with Prowl.
The Autobot cop frowned, his lips pressed into a thin line. “What are you talking about? Who is Magnus?”
“Who else?” Shockwave retorted in disbelief. “There is only one Ultra Magnus. Brother of your beloved leader Orion Pax? Former leader of the Wreckers?”
Prowl’s scowl deepened. “Has that time drive messed with your processor, Shockwave? Ultra Magnus is not here, and he sure as hell is not Prime’s brother!”
Shockwave was obviously troubled but he kept pushing the matter. “You don’t have to hide the truth anymore, Prowl. We all know how Magnus incapacitated Pax and stole his body for himself to lead the Autobots—Soundwave had it broadcasted across all channels.”
More confused murmurs spread across the room. Prowl seemed downright irritated now, and it seemed Shockwave had not finished. “Soundwave had warned us about you, Prowl— after Goldbug, Pax, and Magnus, you are the biggest remaining Autobot threat. But it turns out Magnus is not as dead as we thought.” Shockwave glanced at Optimus, before continuing, “What do you want from me?”
Prowl shook his head. “Stop this charade, Shockwave. Your acting is quite impressive, though you may fool anyone but me. It’s time you face the consequences for your crimes.”
“Crimes? What crimes have I committed, precisely? Saving innocents? Fighting you evil Autobots?” Shockwave seemed genuinely puzzled.
“The audacity…” Prowl sneered. “Have you forgotten every mech that died from your experiments? Every life that has been lost because of your schemes?!”
“What experiments? Are you attempting to frame me for you lot's crimes?! It won’t work—”
“Enough!” Optimus stopped them both, seeing that this argument was going nowhere. He ignored Prowl’s displeased look and addressed Shockwave, “You’re clearly not in the right state for any interrogation. I’d suggest we continue this in the morning.”
***
“What the frag was that all about, Prime?” Prowl shouted at him as soon as they left the holding cell. “The mad scientist was finally back in our custody, after such a long time of evading justice!”
“Calm down, Prowl.” Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose ridge again. “Something is obviously off here. How did you even find Shockwave, anyway?”
Prowl still seemed irritated, but he did reply, “Wheeljack discovered a huge surge of energy at the singularity that Shockwave left behind. We sent a team to investigate and found him unconscious on the ground right under the singularity.”
“I see.” Optimus nodded. “But he seems… different.”
“Obviously.” Prowl snorted. “All that meddling with his processor and his scheming must have roughed him up pretty badly.”
Optimus shook his head. “No, I mean, I know Shockwave…”
“Knew him,” Prowl corrected him.
“…and his behaviors are not making any sense,” Optimus continued, ignoring Prowl’s remark.
Prowl shrugged. “It’s another scheme of his. We’ve seen enough of such pretense in our line of work. Shockwave must have known that the punishment for his crimes is great, so he’s faking to avoid being put on trials.”
Optimus sighed. “I’d rather give him the benefit of the doubt. Let me interrogate him tomorrow.”
“I’ll be watching, Prime,” Prowl replied, clearly unconvinced.
***
“Back already, Magnus?” Shockwave stared at Optimus when he walked into the interrogation room in the early morning. A lie detector module had been plugged to his wrist—again, Prowl’s diligence.
Optimus sat down across from him, rubbing his temples. “Why do you keep calling me ‘Magnus’? I’m obviously not him.”
“You don’t have to pretend around me, Magnus.” Shockwave looked almost sympathetic. “I understand your burden now. I’m sorry for not keeping in contact with you before Pax’s machinations—”
Optimus put a servo up to cut off the other mech. “Stop, Shockwave. For the last time, I am not Ultra Magnus.”
Shockwave was a little taken aback. “Then who are you?”
“I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots,” he replied.
“Is this a test?” Shockwave sighed. “I haven't the faintest idea what you require of me.”
“Just some answers,” Optimus replied. “Tell me what you remember. Honestly.”
“A history test?” Shockwave tapped on the desk. “Where do you even want me to start with? Your terrorist attack on the Senate? The Autobot-Decepticon war on Earth? The Decepticon’s final battle with Metroplex?”
“Everything, actually. Take your time.” Optimus crossed his digits, patiently waiting.
Shockwave sighed and started recounting the mentioned events in brief. Optimus listened attentively, confusion visible on his face. The names were all familiar, but everything else was out of place. Evil Autobots, good Decepticons? Civil war within the Autobots? Smelting chambers? Orion Pax’s sadistic tendencies?
“So? Are you satisfied now?” Shockwave asked after finishing his part, his voice tired and weary.
Optimus shook his helm, much to the other mech’s irk. “Nothing makes sense. Prowl suspects you’re pretending to have lost your mind to avoid being sentenced, but your stories are too wild, too complex to be made up.”
“It certainly is strange for me too,” Shockwave replied. “You all are in the wrong colors, and you keep insisting you’re not Ultra Magnus…”
“Do you remember what happened before you got incarcerated?” Optimus cocked his head.
“It’s all murky for me…” Shockwave hesitated. “I remember entering the Autobot base after our temporary victory, there was this explosion, then I woke up in that holding cell.”
Realization dawned on them both.
“This is not my universe,” Shockwave muttered.
***
The development was shocking for everyone involved. If this Shockwave had truly been from an alternate universe, there would have been serious implications about safety in this already delicate post-war Cybertron situation. For now, Prowl had managed to keep everything under wraps.
“This is a big claim you’re making, Shockwave. We’ll need you to cooperate with our investigation,” the officer stated during the next interrogation session.
“I’ll comply,” Shockwave replied, “under one condition.”
“You’re not really in the position to demand anything,” Prowl sneered, but Optimus stopped him before asking, “What’s the condition?”
“Whatever you do, don’t probe my processor,” Shockwave replied.
***
So came a series of interrogations. After five of Prowl’s infamous table flips, countless fast energon cubes, and mega-cycles of minimum recharge, the Autobots could not find any contradictions in Shockwave’s statements, even with the aid of multiple state-of-the-art lie detectors. His story was the same, no matter how hard the interrogators attempted to tire him out and get him to trip.
With every unfruitful interrogation, tensions among all mechs involved were rising. Optimus realized he had to look for answers elsewhere before things got out of hand.
***
“His claims are actually plausible,” Wheeljack said while handing Optimus a datapad—the Autobot leader had put in a request to his trusted scientist and friend to look into the whole situation. “The projections show that there is a breach in the space-time fabric at this location.” Wheeljack zoomed in the map. “And curiously, right next to this point…”
“Another singularity,” Optimus said. “Is it connected to the one under Crystal City?”
“There is no way to determine,” Wheeljack replied. “But my theory is, there is a whole network of singularities that connect our universe to others, these two singularities included.”
“Maybe there is even one for the Dead Universe,” Optimus commented. “Still, why now?”
Wheeljack pulled up another graph—energy signatures over time, Optimus noticed—and pointed to two sudden peak points. “This is right after Shockwave disappeared with his time drive. And this one is right before we found the other Shockwave. I think everything comes down to our former senator. Maybe his unnatural removal from this universe has caused some instability across the universes…”
So that might be one reason for the peculiar gaps in Optimus’s memory—Shockwave had done something that was tweaking everything related to himself, Optimus’s memories included. Optimus pinched the bridge of his nasal ridge—a behavior that had become a habit, after all the processor-aches. “This does not sound good.”
“Obviously. Who knows if other universes will not bring their problems to our world.” Wheeljack shook his helm. “Shockwave, always so troublesome…” he trailed off at Optimus’s grim expression, and cleared his vocalizer. “Maybe he did not mean to cause us all these troubles, but well…”
Optimus nodded and turned back to the main reason he had asked for Wheeljack’s assistance. “So, this Shockwave…”
“He’s not the Shockwave, that I can be sure.” Wheeljack chuckled. “He’s actually… I don’t know, he’s cunning, but not cold and detached—almost like our Shockwave before the Institute. But he seems, I don’t know, less of a schemer…?”
Optimus was not sure how he felt about that confirmation.
***
“Wheeljack’s findings are hardly conclusive—I’m being generous by saying they’re plausible speculations. There is only one way to confirm the claims,” Prowl said after listening to Optimus’s report, his tone impassive. “I’m calling for a mnemosurgeon.”
“You’re not doing that.” Optimus held a servo up and glared at the officer. “His statements are reasonable, or logical in your book. There is no need for invasive probing.”
“How can you be sure that this isn’t another trickery of his?” Prowl said, his voice stern. “To appear weak and helpless, fabricate a sob story, get back under your panels, and pull another time drive fiasco?”
“Even if I can’t prove it, I won’t let you get one inch near his processor,” Optimus replied. “It isn’t right. It isn’t our way, Prowl!”
“Is that so?” Prowl laughed without mirth. “Tell that to every mech who has ever gotten mnemosurgery during interrogation, under your watch!”
“This is different and you know it, Prowl! This Shockwave has been cooperating with all of our ridiculous methods. He just wants us to stay away from his processor—a totally reasonable request—and we will respect his wish!”
“Get yourself together, Prime!” Prowl’s field flared with anger. “The old Shockwave that you loved so much is gone! Don’t let a ghost cloud your judgement!”
That reminder was the last straw. Slamming his servo on the desk, Optimus shouted, “Out! Get out of my office and don’t ever come back!”
Prowl had this look of disgust and disbelief on his face, but he complied, not without a snide remark of the Prime’s hypocrisy.
Right after the door slid shut, Optimus dropped to his chair, exhausted. He would have to request to move Shockwave to another place in the next chord.
***
Shockwave did seem surprise when Optimus came to get him out of the cell.
“So… does this mean that I’m free now?” the yellow-and-blue mech asked, his optic dimmed a little in doubt.
Optimus shook his helm. “My apologies, but not exactly. We’re transferring you to my custody.”
Shockwave sighed. “Just a changing of the cells, huh. I have told you lot everything I know… and still it’s not enough?”
Optimus gave the other mech an apologetic look. “I’m afraid there’s no other way at the moment—your situation is too delicate. But trust me, we’re doing our best to figure out a solution.”
Shockwave nodded. “I know. Well, I hope you’re better company than Prowl—why does he have to be a bugger even in this universe?”
Optimus could not help his amused chuckle. “That’s one thing we can agree on.”
He led Shockwave to his apartment, which had been refurnished to contain the other mech. Most of Optimus’s personal belongings had been removed, leaving the bare necessities. Surveillance devices had been installed all over the place—Optimus knew this was not ideal, but given Shockwave’s current status, he’d have to endure it, at least until the Autobots could determine whether he was trustworthy enough to lower their guard.
Shockwave took in the place with some reservations, but he accepted the situation quite fast. His optic blinked a little bit in good humor. “It’s more spacious than the cell at your police station.”
Optimus could not help his small smile behind the mask. “Make yourself comfortable. If you have any request, put it through to me.”
“Actually, I do have one right now,” Shockwave said, “Can you provide me with something to write? If you’re worried about my possible tampering with datapads, Earth’s pen and papers are fine. I just want to have something to do.”
Optimus considered the request for a moment, and nodded. “Very well. I will bring you the supplies.”
***
Shockwave’s behaviors did not change much in his new prison. Most of the time, he just walked around the apartment and examined every piece of furniture he could get his servos on. Then, he used the provided papers to write—routine inspections revealed that they were simple musings and observations about his new situation.
Sometimes when Optimus came by to visit, Shockwave presented his theories about the current universe and asked Optimus to confirm his findings. Optimus just gave him simple yes/no answers, not wanting to reveal too much about his own universe. But the Prime had to admit that the processor of this alternate Shockwave was as brilliant as that of his long lost friend: most of his observations were spot on—which was impressive given his limited mobility.
However, just as Wheeljack had told Optimus, this Shockwave still had his own quirks. His writings had more of a personal touch—not as fiery as the pre-Shadowplay Shockwave, but not as detached like the post-Shadowplay Shockwave either. If Optimus had to describe it, he would say the style was subdue and even empathetic.
This knowledge only fueled the confusion in his spark. Optimus thought he had gotten over Shockwave—he had done all he could for his old friend/flame. But the appearance of this Shockwave made him realize that the pain in his spark had never fully healed, and it might stay that way as long as there was no closure about his Shockwave’s fate.
He sighed and buried his helm in his servos. It was not the wisest approach, but he had to keep interacting with this Shockwave—the justifications for this, he had not yet decided.
***
After navigating the pain-in-the-tailpipe bureaucracy of the current Cybertron, Optimus finally got permission to get Shockwave out of the apartment for a few cycles.
“I’m going to show you around,” Optimus said as he strapped a pair of stasis cuffs on Shockwave’s wrists. “Being all cooped up in this confinement must have been difficult for you. And this is a good chance to confirm your theories about our Cybertron, right?”
Shockwave eyed Optimus with a hint of wary, no doubt cautious of any tricks the Autobots must be pulling on him. But it seemed Optimus had gained at least a fraction of Shockwave’s trust, given his less hostile attitude.
“I suppose it won’t hurt,” Shockwave said. “Lead the way, Pax—sorry, Prime—”
“No, it’s all right. Just…” Optimus shook his helm. “Just call me Pax. I don’t mind.”
Shockwave seemed a little taken aback by the permission, but he quickly nodded. “All right, Pax it is.”
They navigated the rubble that once was a flourishing Cybertron. Restoration efforts were underway, but tensions among the factions were palpable. The Autobots, the Decepticons, and the non-aligned mechs were too busy arguing that they did not pay attention to the two wandering mechs. Their walk was mostly in silence, with occasional questions from Shockwave and stilted answers from Optimus.
“War leaves its marks everywhere it touches,” Shockwave commented. “I imagine back in my universe, the situation is similar to here—all a mess. Wonder how Megatron and Soundwave are doing…”
Optimus nodded and stayed silent, letting Shockwave rant. He still needed to make sense of his feelings towards the other mech.
After walking for a little more, they stopped at the ruins of what once was Jhiaxian Academy. Shockwave just blinked, his posture betrayed no hint of recognition, which did not escape Optimus’s notice.
The yellow mech looked at the old photos and descriptions, almost in awe. “What a beautiful building this place once was. Back in my universe, when I was still a senator, I wanted to have such an academy for the mechs in my district. But alas, my lone efforts were never enough...”
Optimus listened to Shockwave’s words, a pang of pain flashed through his frame. He still remembered how his Shockwave had taken in and protected all the outliers, and the former Senator’s valiant efforts had only contributed to his downfall. He wondered what had happened to the Shockwave in front of him—was he also a victim of the system?
Shockwave seemed particularly interested in a photo. He squinted his sole optic at the smiling green-and-white mech at the corner. “Is that… the other Shockwave?”
Optimus’s spark pulsed painfully in his chassis. If this Shockwave recognized that old frame, he must have gone through empurata and even shadowplay at some point in his life. Given his attitude during their interrogations and his insistence of not having his processor probed, the other universe’s Autobots must have been the culprit.
Shockwave looked thoughtful for a moment, and then a flash of realization appeared in his posture. He did not seem pleased when raising his question, “What is your true reason for bringing me here, Pax?”
Optimus stayed silent—if he did not even know it himself, how could he offer an answer?
Shockwave let out a sigh, before continuing, “I see what you’re doing, Pax. You’re trying to use me as a mirror into your Shockwave’s mind.”
There it was—Optimus’s elusive justification for this whole charade. This Shockwave, despite their still too brief acquaintanceship, somehow understood Optimus even more than the Prime’s understanding of himself.
“…Yes,” Optimus admitted, “I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable.”
The other mech drummed his digits on the plaque and replied, “While I don’t encourage such action, I think I can understand your reasoning. You’re in despair, and if you’re going through such lengths just to understand him, then… Your feelings for him run deep, do they?”
Optimus could only nod at Shockwave’s keen observation.
The other mech gave him a sympathetic look and resumed, “It’s funny, how alternate universes work—there isn’t a fixed set of rules, Pax. One would think that because the Autobots are evil in my universe, the personality of your counterparts would be kind of opposites. Actually, even one tiny difference is enough to lead to a whole new universe—you may even share a whole identical timeline with your alternate version except for only one difference in your reaction to an insignificant event.”
Optimus listened attentively as he contemplated the whole concept and murmured, “Then, if I use you as a point of reference to this universe’s Shockwave…”
“…you’ll just be looking at your Shockwave in a broken mirror,” Shockwave finished Optimus’s sentence for him.
***
Somehow in his confinement, Shockwave was still able to conduct some research and gave several practical recommendations to mitigate the environmental damage of the current Cybertron—even Wheeljack was impressed. After some debating, the Council deemed that Shockwave’s contributions outweighed his potential threats, as long as he was kept under strict surveillance. Additionally, much to Prowl’s displease, Optimus had managed to get the Council’s permission for Shockwave to go around Iacon once a few deca-cycles, under Optimus’s supervision.
Optimus’s relationship with Shockwave had also improved. The other mech seemed grateful for his interventions and gradually relaxed around him.
Optimus also noticed that Shockwave had been stealing glances at him—how the mech managed to do that with a sole optic eluded the Prime. Sometimes, Shockwave seemed to want to say something but held it in at the last minute.
Optimus decided to stop ruminating the cause for this behavior and just asked Shockwave directly, “I notice you have been… observing me, Shockwave. Is there anything you want to share with me?”
For the first time, Optimus saw a break in the other mech’s usual composure. Shockwave paused his writing to look at Optimus, seemingly deliberating what to say.
Eventually he relented. “You remind me of someone I lost. A very dear friend to me. I thought I could keep him from being consumed by the darkness.”
Optimus’s optics widened at the revelation.
“He made me this way,” Shockwave continued, pointing to his helm. “Empurata, they call it in my universe. Fortunately,” his voice turned bitter for a moment, “I did not lose my emotions like your Shockwave—I was just consumed by empathy. It took me years to reign it in, but in the end, it was worth it. The alterations made me more empathetic, more understanding of other mechs’ psyche. Greatly helped with recruitment for the Decepticon cause too.”
He paused for a klik, and sighed. “Still, it was too late to save my friend. He was too far gone in the web of manipulations and the trappings of his own processor.”
“Is this friend… your Ultra Magnus?” Optimus asked, thinking back about the beginning when Shockwave had insisted that Optimus was the Tyrest Accord enforcer.
Shockwave just stared at him for a while before giving a confirming nod and replying, “To be honest, you remind me of what he once was, even just for a little bit. An honorable mech with a seed of doubt in his spark that grew out of control.”
So this was what drew him to this Shockwave, Optimus realized—it was not his complicated feelings towards his former friend, but the same sense of loss—of losing someone they wished they could have protected.
Optimus did not know how to react in this delicate situation, so he just acted out of instinct. He put a servo on Shockwave’s arm and gave him a squeeze.
Shockwave froze up a little, but he eventually patted Optimus’s servo and mumbled, “Thanks, Pax.”
***
It had been forever since Optimus’s last visit to this particular bench in the square. After four million years of war, how it was still intact among the rubble was a mystery. Optimus had explained the significance of this bench to Shockwave, and the latter had asked to be taken there.
“You have to face your ghosts, Pax,” Shockwave had told him.
The two mechs sat down on the bench and rested their legs. Shockwave said nothing, just let the moment wash over them both.
Optimus looked up at the stars with a glimmer of hope and desperation in his optics as he spoke up, “I don’t know if he’s even alive, somewhere out there, across the universes.”
“Did you forgive him?” Shockwave asked, also looking at the stars.
Optimus had had this conversation before, with Megatron, just after their farewell to the former senator in Crystal City. This time, he could say with certainty, “I did.”
At Shockwave’s nod, he continued, “How about you? Did you forgive your Ultra Magnus?”
“I’m not sure if it’s just because of my alterations,” Shockwave replied, “but yes, I did forgive him and I think I’d always do, no matter what he did to me.”
Optimus stayed silent. He understood that sentiment too well—you loved someone so much that you forgave even the worst of their sins.
In that moment, Optimus thought that maybe he could find a friend in this Shockwave. He did not realize he had voiced his thoughts out loud.
“Pax, are you sure?” Shockwave’s sole optic blinked rapidly in disbelief. “Sooner or later this breach in the universe will have to be mended. Eventually, you’ll have to let me go. I don’t wish you to suffer this kind of loss again.”
“I know, Shockwave. And I have to admit, I still see fragments of him in you,” Optimus replied, his tone sincere. “But I am willing to take the risk—I wish to see through the broken mirrors, to know you as you are. And maybe… you will see me as I am too.”
Shockwave fell silent, a contemplative look on his face as he mulled over the confession.
“To be honest, I’m not sure if this is wise, Pax,” Shockwave spoke up after some time. Optimus’s optics dimmed as he braced himself for an outright rejection.
“However, I could feel that pain in you too. And maybe we need each other more than we realize,” Shockwave said as he took Optimus’s servo.
“I’ll not be opposed to exploring this possibility of friendship, Orion.”
In the quietness of the night, on the bench next to the Ark 1 Memorial Monument—the one that once had a broken leg—an unexpected friendship between two mechs, who united in grief, started with a gentle embrace.