Work Text:
When Soobin wakes up, nothing feels different. At least not for the first ten seconds of him opening his eyes, blurry vision turning clear as he stretches his arms above himself. A yawn catches its way out and he kicks his leg in an odd direction, a way to get rid of his blanket and wake himself up—it always helps when he has really early schedules and according to the check he had last night, his alarm was supposed to go off at 4am.
But instead of feeling the usual sting of cold air hitting his body, a wave of heat washes over him, and he lets out a groan. Beomgyu probably increased his own air conditioning but accidentally applied it to everyone's rooms. Soobin's already told him so many times that he needs to be careful when clicking away on the buttons, but Beomgyu insists it's never his fault.
“Beomgyu-yah, you stupid fool,” Soobin mumbles, sitting up on his elbows when he's suddenly surprised by how easy that was. It…didn't hurt to move. That was strange. Usually, after such a busy day like yesterday, where they spent the morning at a variety show shoot and then the evening at dance practice, his entire body would burn with every motion. And yet, Soobin finds it easy to push himself up into a sitting position. The relief doesn't last long, however, when he looks up from the bed and at the polaroids scattered across the walls.
His eyes widen, and he snaps his head around, looking at the two-door wardrobe opposite his bed, then the long desk with two setups next to one another. Soobin feels his breath get caught in his throat when he finally looks at himself in the reflection of the mirror beside the desk. The freshly dyed blond he had gotten just last night before going back to the dorms…it was gone. His hair was its usual black shade and somehow looked even better than usual. It looked healthy, as if he hadn't touched his hair at all in the past 6 years.
“What the hell?” He asks out loud, feet nervously touching the ground as he stands up. He takes a tentative step forward, heart racing as he takes in more of his surroundings. This looks nothing like his dorm room. So many things were missing and so many new things had appeared.
His single-sized bed was now big enough to fit three people, his gaming setup had morphed into one for two people, and the one that caught him off-guard the most: the polaroids. Soobin squints, moving closer to see a picture of himself smiling at the camera wide enough for his eyes to disappear. And besides him was…Yeonjun? But he has no memory of taking a picture like this ever. Especially not with Yeonjun leaning in and kissing his cheek.
The door to his bedroom (if it really was his bedroom) opens and Soobin startles, turning around with a gasp when his eyes land on who it was. “What's wrong? You look like you've just seen a ghost.”
And that's exactly how it feels to Soobin, to see a Yeonjun who looks so different. His hair was longer than how Soobin remembers it being yesterday, tied into a small ponytail behind him, cheeks fuller and the usual eyebags he had were gone. Was this a dream? Though Soobin doesn't understand why he would see Yeonjun in a dream, or think of a polaroid with his Hyung kissing his cheek. Alright, maybe both of them were something he dreamt of usually, but not this vividly.
“Soobin-ah?”
“Yeonjun hyung…?” Soobin starts, swallowing hard when the older frowns, crossing the room and holding the back of his hand against Soobin's forehead.
“Seriously, what's wrong with you? You haven't called me Hyung in years?” Yeonjun laughs, shaking his head. “Do you want something, baby? Is that it? Go ahead, tell Hyung. He'll do it for you.”
Soobin's even more confused now than when he woke up. What does Yeonjun mean by any of this? Actually, scrape that, who the hell is this? This can't be his Yeonjun. Is this some sort of prank? Did they apply to be a part of a variety show and not let Soobin know? But how would they have been able to transport Soobin into this room without him waking up?
“Hey,” Yeonjun says, knocking the side of Soobin's head with his knuckles. “Say something, you're worrying me.”
Soobin clears his throat, leaning back when he realises just how close Yeonjun was standing to him. They don't normally get this close, not since they were advised to keep their skinship on the lower side by staff. It was only meant for in front of cameras, but they got carried away and accidentally made it the norm between them. “I'm fine, Hyung.”
“Again with the Hyung?” Yeonjun grumbles, putting his hands on the wall behind Soobin, practically caging him in place with nowhere to run. “What's the deal? It's not our anniversary yet and neither is it my birthday. You didn't forget anything this year, don't worry.”
“Anniversary?” Soobin asks dumbly, eyes darting across Yeonjun's face, trying his best to ignore the way his heart starts racing. “I've never forgotten your birthday before.”
Yeonjun snorts, raising his head and narrowing his eyes. He brings a hand to Soobin's jaw and pinches his cheek gently. “Then what was last year about? Recycling the present I bought you the year before?”
Before Soobin can answer with yet another question, a ringtone starts blasting from the other room and Yeonjun lets out a sigh.
“Alright, tell me later. Work calls.”
Yeonjun reaches around Soobin to pat his butt before spinning around and disappearing from the room. Soobin immediately lets out the breath he was holding and leans onto the wall behind him to stay standing. What was that about? Weren't they taking the prank a little too far?
Soobin looks around the room for his phone and quickly grabs it from the bedside table. His eyes widen as the phone unlocks and he sees the wallpaper, a picture of Yeonjun holding his hand out to the camera, holding onto another hand, which he thinks is his own. Now how did they do that? Soobin shakes his head, trying not to think too deeply about the technicalities of this elaborate prank and swipes through the phone, immediately opening his calendar app and freezing.
Completely clear. There was nothing listed. Not a single schedule. Had they gone as far as getting rid of his schedules for the year just for the sake of the prank?
And then a sudden thought comes to Soobin's mind. He pauses, looking up from his phone to the wall of polaroids. He takes a step forward, his pulse ringing in his ear when he looks at a specific picture of Yeonjun with his arm wrapped around Soobin’s shoulders and another guy sitting beside him, holding up a heart at the camera. Soobin doesn’t know who that is. Soobin doesn’t know who most of the people in the pictures are.
As he stumbles back, his head starting to hurt from trying to remember exactly who everyone is, just where he is, Yeonjun appears at the door again, holding a phone to his ear, and asks a question Soobin doesn’t know how to answer.
“Bin-ah, when are you going to work?”
-
Soobin has to blink a few times and rub his eyes again before looking back up at the cafe sign, the words ‘beom-bin’ staring back at him. It looks like something out of his dreams, or one of those sketches Beomgyu jokingly made up of what their cafe would look like in the future. They weren’t actually sure if that would ever be the case–just imagining all the fans that would show up just to see them—but now it was a reality sitting right in front of him.
“Well, aren’t you going to go in?” Yeonjun asks, poking his arm with an amused expression on his face. Soobin somehow managed to convince him to ‘walk to work with him’ since he had no idea where he was supposed to be going. His calendar was clear, and they didn’t seem to live in Seoul, according to what the weather widget on his main screen suggested, so he had no idea what ‘work’ meant.
Until now.
“Y-yeah,” Soobin stutters, turning back to the cafe door, a cute bunny and bear design decorating it. How was this real?
He pushes the door open and flinches when the bell over his head rings softly. Soobin hears Yeonjun chuckle behind him and tries his best to focus. So he works at this cafe, apparently. He’s not really sure what his role here is meant to be. He thinks the cafe might’ve been named after himself and Beomgyu, but everything keeps surprising him, like Yeonjun randomly grabbing his hand when they stepped out of the car.
Soobin had tried his best not to make it obvious that he had no idea why Yeonjun would do such a thing, especially in public. What if someone caught them and took a picture? What if they posted it online with the caption, TXT’s Yeonjun and Soobin, closer than friends? It’s everything their managers had been trying their best to avoid. But then again, where were their managers?
Yeonjun didn’t seem to care much, grabbing Soobin’s hand and even going as far as to kiss it when he saw Soobin staring at him. That wasn’t something they just did. Sure, it was something he hoped Yeonjun would do one day in the privacy of their bedroom, but in public? “What?” Yeonjun had asked, and Soobin just forced out a laugh and asked him to lead the way.
“Gosh, I was starting to think you had skipped work,” a voice brings him back to the present, and Soobin looks over his shoulder to see Beomgyu walking out from the staff room, a cute green apron tied around him. It looks oddly familiar, like the one a fan had designed for them once during a fansign. “Soobin-ah?”
“What?” Soobin breathes out, still taking in Beomgyu’s appearance. Even he looks so different, his hair shorter than it’s ever been, piercings running along the side of his ear, and a tattoo peeking out from behind his ear. “When did you…”
“What’s wrong with him?” Beomgyu asks the question directed at Yeonjun, who had already taken a seat by the counter.
Yeonjun shrugs, glancing back at Soobin. “Not sure, he’s been out of it since morning. He even called me hyung.”
Beomgyu’s eyebrows shoot up, and he bursts into laughter. “What? Why? Yah, Choi Soobin, you better not have done something stupid.”
Soobin doesn’t bother trying to understand why they were so shocked at the use of the honorifics and instead looks around the cafe, surprised to see stuff he and Beomgyu had once spoken about: a wall of books, a proper set-up for music, and the one that surprised him the most, a few signatures from celebrities hanging across the top.
Soobin steps behind the counter, watching as Beomgyu makes a drink for Yeonjun with ease, as if he knows the recipe by heart. But it doesn’t look like the one he made during the To Do episode they once filmed, it’s so much more complicated. But how would he know how to do this?
“Alright,” Yeonjun suddenly says, standing up from his seat. “Soobin, why do you look so scared?”
“I’m not scared,” he mumbles, running his fingers across the name tag he found on the counter with his name engraved on it. A small manager written underneath.
“You do look a little scared,” Beomgyu says, invading Soobin’s personal space and inspecting his face. “Are you feeling alright? Do you wanna take the day off, I was just joking earlier.”
“N-no, that’s not—” Soobin gets cut off by his own phone ringing, buzzing in his pocket, and the moment it begins to ring, he freezes.
“Wah, such a narcissist. You really still have that song as your ringtone?” Beomgyu scoffs, stepping back to let Soobin pull his phone out, a song he’s remembering recording a while back. “It’s been like a decade, come on.”
Behind him, Yeonjun hides a smile behind his hand, looking at Soobin fondly. “Leave him alone, Gyu. It was our moment of fame.”
“Yeah, a decade ago.”
Soobin tunes him out to stare at his phone in confusion, the name unfamiliar and song causing his head to spin. When he hears his own voice, he shakes his head and quickly answers the call.
“Hello?”
“Soobin! Is Yeonjun with you?” Soobin looks up at Yeonjun, who is busy talking to Beomgyu and wonders why this person was asking for him.
“Yeah, why—”
“Great! Put me on speaker.”
Soobin pulls the phone away from his ear, still confused about who ‘Jay hyung’ is supposed to be, but follows the orders anyway. Going along with the flow seems ideal for him right now.
“Hello? Yeonjun-ah?”
Yeonjun’s eyes widen, and he immediately straightens up. Even Beomgyu lets out a surprised gasp and steps away from the phone. Maybe Soobin shouldn’t have answered the call? He’s so confused.
“Hyung! What’s up, oh my god. It’s been so long since we last spoke,” Yeonjun answers in a hurry, leaning over the counter to speak into the phone. “How are you?”
A chuckle is heard over the call before ‘Jay hyung’ responds, “I’ve been great! Busy, but great. Uh—so this is going to sound insane.” Yeonjun looks up from the phone at Soobin before humming in acknowledgement. “Do you guys remember our song that once went viral?”
Yeonjun lets out a soft laugh, nodding. “Yeah, the one song. What about it?”
“It uh—” the call goes quiet for a moment before Yeonjun’s phone pings. At the same time he unlocks it, ‘Jay hyung’ finally continues, “It’s charting.”
“What?” Yeonjun all but yells, jumping up from his seat to stare at his phone in shock. Beomgyu reacts practically the same way, almost jumping over the counter to get a look at Yeonjun’s phone screen.
“Yeah. I don’t know what caused it, I just found out today that it’s been rising on the charts this past week! And I got a message for all of us.”
There’s a long pause and Soobin awkwardly shifts from one foot to another, still lost and with no clue what song and who this was and why they looked so shocked.
“They want us to have a reunion.”
-
Soobin sits on the corner of their bed, watching as Yeonjun neatly folds their clothes and puts them into a suitcase. Soobin ended up taking the day off that Beomgyu was offering him. He may not be a detective, but he's started putting two and two together (and he googled his own name to figure out what was going on).
His name is still Choi Soobin, but he isn't part of TXT. Debuted in a group called Hi-Boyz at the age of 14 only for them to disband a year later. There’s practically no information about why, and Soobin doesn’t know how to bring up that question to Yeonjun without making it obvious that he doesn’t belong here.
It feels strange just thinking about not belonging to TXT and his heart aches to know where Taehyun and Kai were, if he had even met them in this other world he's seemingly ended up in. Soobin wonders if he's maybe watched too many anime, stuck in Dreamland and imagining this entire situation. But he doesn't wake up from a pinch to the arm.
“Do you think we should pack another bag?” Yeonjun asks, standing up and putting his arms on his hips. He's got that same expression on his face as the Yeonjun that Soobin remembers, a brow raised and the corner of his lips twitching. The smile that makes its way to his face slowly fades as he begins to think about his Yeonjun. Where exactly was he? If this wasn't his Yeonjun then that means he's not the right Soobin. He's taking someone else's spot. “Soobin!”
“Yeah?” Soobin blinks, looking up at Yeonjun and then the two packed suitcases by the door. “Isn’t that already a lot? They’re only inviting us for three weeks.”
“Are you going to wear the same outfit every day?” Yeonjun raises a brow, already pulling out another suitcase from under the bed. “It’s our big comeback reunion! We need to be stylish and make them all regret.”
“Regret what?” Soobin mumbles, getting up to help pass some clothes down to Yeonjun. Their wardrobe was still filled with clothes Soobin only bought because he was an idol, because he could very well afford them. He wonders what kind of job Yeonjun has to be able to afford all of this, including their apartment! Or even how he managed to own a cafe at his age.
“Regret losing us,” Yeonjun says with a cheeky grin. “I’m so excited to meet everyone again. It’s been years since we last saw Hyung. He promised to keep in contact but besides wishing us on our birthdays, he barely ever contacts us.”
Soobin doesn’t really know what to say. He doesn’t know this Jay hyung that Yeonjun keeps bringing up so he instead stays quiet, resorting to nodding.
“Ah, right!” Yeonjun pauses, glancing up at Soobin. “The babies said they’re coming over in a bit, so could you get started on dinner? We’ll update them on everything then.”
Babies? Soobin doesn’t question it and leaves to go to the kitchen, only to freeze when he realises: he can’t cook. He stands in the entrance of the kitchen, eyes darting around trying to figure out what he could do. From what he’s seen, a lot of things are still quite similar to his own world, so surely he keeps his recipes in a book somewhere.
After his hiatus, Soobin had written down a bunch of recipes his mum suggested he should try out so there should be a book somewhere in the kitchen. Soobin opens a few drawers and cupboards, not surprised to find a bunch of matching plates, mugs, and glasses. Yeonjun always enjoys buying things in pairs. His Yeonjun once bought a jacket for himself and bought the same one for Soobin, with some excuse of how he was getting it for a cheaper price. Buy one get one half price, or something. Soobin wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t comment on it, just accepted the present with a smile and wore it the next day.
“Found it!” Soobin exclaims quietly, opening the book to find a bunch of recipes written in his handwriting. It's a bit creepy seeing something he’s written but it's not…it’s not really him. He flips through a few pages and finds one that was almost word to word the same one his mum taught him during his hiatus. Again, so creepy.
Soobin shakes his head and pulls his sleeves up. Now wasn’t the time to be getting creeped out by the world surrounding him, but to focus on making dinner. He wasn’t sure if the Soobin in this world could cook well or not but from the way Yeonjun casually passed over the responsibility to him, he knew he had to do something good enough. For the babies. Whoever the babies were.
-
“Soobin-ah, I—” Yeonjun pauses at the door to the kitchen, eyes widening when he sees the food Soobin has managed to whip up. “You…”
“Dinner’s ready, hy—Yeonjun,” Soobin says, letting out a sigh of relief that Yeonjun entered now and not ten minutes ago when the food had accidentally overflowed from the dish and spilled onto the ground. “When are the babies coming?”
Yeonjun blinks, taking a step forward and a deep breath. “This smells amazing, Soobin. You did such a good job.”
Soobin blushes, not expecting the praise. Didn’t the Soobin of this world know how to cook? Why is he so surprised? “Thanks.”
“Yeah…” Yeonjun trails off just as the doorbell rings. “That should be them, do you wanna get the door? I’ll set the table.”
Soobin nods, walking past him and to the door to finally see the ‘babies’. They weren’t going to be actual babies, right? There’s no way he and Yeonjun managed to have kids—as in, Soobin doesn’t think he would’ve wanted kids until much later on in life in any world.
And he gets his answer when he swings the door open and lets out a silent gasp.
“Hyung! Congratulations!” Kai says, throwing his arms over Soobin’s shoulders and practically diving in for a hug. Soobin just about manages to catch him when Taehyun appears from behind him and does the same. They knock Soobin onto the ground and tighten the hug, not caring even when he lets out a groan of pain. “Ohh, we’re so happy for you.”
“Thanks but can you get off me?” Soobin whines, patting their backs. Beomgyu steps over them and straight towards the food. “Yah, Choi Beomgyu, help me.”
Beomgyu turns around to blow raspberries at him before turning the corner and disappearing. Some things never change. Finally, after almost an entire half a minute of Taehyun and Kai patting his head and rubbing his stomach and praising him, they pull away and Soobin finally gets a proper look at them.
He’s a little surprised to see that this Taehyun looks the exact same as the one from his world, only a little bit more buff. His eyes are brighter and he looks more…kid-ish? It’s a little refreshing to see him so stress free, blabbering about something Soobin wasn’t paying attention to. And he has the same tattoo Beomgyu has behind his ear but this time on his neck.
“We saw Yeonjun hyung’s message right after our lecture finished but figured it’ll be best to give our congratulations in person,” Kai says, stealing Soobin’s attention from Taehyun, and—he looks so good. Soobin holds his breath when Kai leans in closer, the glitter from his eyelids making him look all the more angelic when he says, “Are you surprised by my makeup? Hiyyih asked to practice on me again and I couldn’t say no. Do I look pretty?”
“You…look so pretty.”
“Alright, alright,” Yeonjun says from behind them, clapping his hands together. “Enough of this or I'll be really jealous. Get off Soobin.”
Kai laughs loudly as he pushes himself off Soobin, grabbing Taehyun’s arm and rushing towards Yeonjun, engulfing him in the same hug he pulled Soobin in earlier. “Congrats!”
“Thank you,” Yeonjun beams, reciprocating the hug. “Let's eat now, Soobinnie made dinner.”
“Oh no,” Taehyun moans, his shoulders dropping as he loses all his excitement. “Please tell me you were supervising.”
“You’re in for a surprise, Tyun.”
Soobin realises this only after they’re sitting at the table and taking a bite from their food that the Soobin of this world is terrible at cooking. The members, or well, not-members, all look surprised as they take a second bite, looking up at Yeonjun and Soobin and giving them suspicious stares.
“You didn’t order this, did you?”
Yeonjun giggles, leaning into Soobin’s side. Soobin's stomach experiences the familiar butterflies as Yeonjun's fingers curl around his thigh. “No! He made this all himself. I’m so proud.”
“This is seriously so good,” Beomgyu says, and that much is enough to confirm that he’s done something wrong. Beomgyu would never compliment his cooking, he’s sure this would apply in every world they exist in.
“Well done, Soobinnie,” Yeonjun says, looking at him fondly as he caresses his cheek.
How was he supposed to make it through dinner like this? And he had to survive the night in the same bed as Yeonjun. The last time they shared a bed was just before his twentieth birthday. Yeonjun had made some excuse about wanting to wish Soobin exactly at midnight—something about a bet with Kai—so he needed to stay in bed with him. Despite having such a busy day at work, they didn't sleep at all, lying beside one another, talking about everything that happened. They were stuck together since the morning and yet they still had more to talk about.
But after wishing Soobin a happy birthday and shyly reaching over to pat his head, Yeonjun climbed out of bed and waved goodbye. He never came back to join Soobin again after that. Soobin wanted him to, but he was too afraid of what it meant to ask for that.
“What are you thinking about?” Yeonjun asks once the others have left and they're cleaning the dishes together. It's feels so domestic, standing side by side, Soobin wearing gloves and Yeonjun wiping the plates dry. He had always wondered if in another universe, where they weren't idols under the spotlight day and night, if they would live together in a small house and act like this. As if they're married. Well, at least he got his answer here. “You've been quiet since dinner.”
Soobin shrugs his shoulders. “Just tired, it's been a long day.”
Yeonjun hums and doesn't say anything for a while, returning to quietly put the plates away. Soobin almost thinks he got away with it until Yeonjun puts the dishcloth down and turns to fully face him.
“So, do you want me to say it or will you?” He asks, raising a brow when Soobin blinks at him in confusion.
“What do you mean?” Soobin turns the tap off and puts the gloves aside, not knowing where this conversation was going.
Yeonjun sighs, crossing his arms over his chest before saying, “You are Choi Soobin.”
Soobin nods, puzzled. “Yeah, I am Choi Soobin.”
“But you're not my Soobin,” Yeonjun says, pointing a finger at him and Soobin freezes, eyes widening as Yeonjun seems to get his confirmation. “So who exactly are you and what did you do to my Soobin?”
-
“What do you mean?” Soobin coughs out a laugh, raising his arms in surrender. “Maybe it's about time we get to bed, yeah?”
Yeonjun scoffs, grabbing Soobin by his waist when he tries walking past him and easily guiding him back against the kitchen counter. Soobin feels the back of his shirt get wet from the sink behind him, but he doesn't complain since Yeonjun stares at him with a sharp gaze.
“You first call me Hyung. Strange, but it wasn't enough to ring alarm bells,” Yeonjun starts, narrowing his eyes. “But then you ask me to walk you to work, almost as if you didn't know where you were going. Then you cook dinner, like, actually cook dinner. My Soobin doesn't know how to cook food. He tries his best and writes a bunch of recipes down, but it always turns out badly.”
Soobin doesn't know whether to take offence on behalf of this world's Soobin or to be surprised that Yeonjun was paying such close attention to everything. He thought he wasn't being too obvious, and besides, who comes to the conclusion that someone isn't who they're saying they are off acting strange for one day?
“Food aside, when the babies came over, you looked starstruck,” Yeonjun continues, sliding his hands up Soobin's sides. “Exactly the same way you did when you first saw them. You were surprised when you found out Taehyun and Kai were university students and seemed shocked when Beomgyu recounted a memory from when they did their military service together. This all isn't new information to you, so why exactly did it seem that way.
“Who are you?” Yeonjun asks, holding Soobin's face in his hands. “You're Soobin but you don't seem to know what's going on.”
Soobin lets out a surprised laugh, shaking his head. “And you came up with this theory all based on that?”
Yeonjun doesn't seem amused and instead leans in, pulling Soobin's face down and all of a sudden he realises where this is going and Yeonjun’s face is getting closer so Soobin shuts his eyes and—
“Stupid,” Yeonjun says, knocking his head against Soobin's. “I came up with this because I know you. Something's wrong.”
Soobin opens his eyes to see Yeonjun looking at him with concern, and he feels bad for not having said anything. While it was surprising for him to wake up in another universe, another timeline, whatever this was, but must've been worrying for Yeonjun, who was here the entire time watching Soobin act like a different person.
“Come on,” Yeonjun mumbles, eyes drooping. “Tell me, please.”
Soobin winces, never being able to deny Yeonjun anything. He takes a hold of Yeonjun's wrists and nods. “Okay, but I'm going to need you to sit down for this.”
-
The journey to Seoul doesn't feel as exhausting as it normally does for Soobin, or maybe he was just used to feeling a burden on his chest every time he left his parents’ home to go back to the dorms. While he was happy to finally go back to his home, he would always feel dread fill him at the thought of returning to work, back to back schedules, waking up before sunrise and getting into bed at around the same time.
But this time, he enjoys the short train ride, eating the food Yeonjun had packed for them as he gets prepared for what was to come.
Yeonjun had taken it pretty easily, or at least that's what he let on. “So, you definitely are Choi Soobin, just from a different…”
“World,” Soobin completed his sentence, grimacing when Yeonjun's eyes teared up.
“And where's my Soobin?”
“I'm…not quite sure. But I'm assuming if I'm here, then he's there.”
Yeonjun nodded with his lips pursued. “And does he—do you have a Choi Yeonjun in your world? Are you close to Yeonjun? Will he be safe?”
Soobin reached for Yeonjun’s shoulders to stop him from spiralling. “I have my own Yeonjun, don't worry. He's in safe hands.”
“How did you end up here? Did you do some sort of magic spell?”
“Magic—” Soobin laughed, shaking his head. “No, I didn't do any sort of magic to get here. Maybe your Soobin did. I don't know why I'm here, and I don't know how to go back.”
After a short back and forth about differences in their world, Yeonjun let out a sigh before taking a step back, leaning against the kitchen island. “So you're not dating your Yeonjun?”
Soobin blushed, shaking his head. “N-no, we're not like this in my world.”
Yeonjun looked up at him with earnest eyes. “But do you love him?”
“Yeonjun hyung?” Soobin asked and he nodded. “It's a little complicated.”
No further questions were asked about that, Yeonjun instead focused on whether Soobin had lived as a member of Hi-Boyz. He looked a little hurt when Soobin told him that he hadn't, as if it was a memory so dear to him and that he couldn't imagine a world where Soobin and him hadn't lived through it. But Soobin guessed it was the same shock he felt when he realised his members in this world were never apart of TXT, they never would be a part of TXT.
“So do you remember the names of all the members?” Yeonjun asks as they hear the announcement that they were reaching their station soon.
Soobin holds out his fingers to count. “Yes, so there's Jaeil hyung, you're TopKey, I'm D.I…”
Yeonjun frowns when Soobin trails off. “Hey! The rest of them are just as important. Just because the company was mean and didn't give them any lines in our title track doesn't mean they weren't part of the group.”
“I know, I know!” Soobin whines, holding the next finger out as he tries remember the names Yeonjun had just said. “Leeho!”
“That's Hyung to you!” Yeonjun grumbles, reaching over to smack Soobin's head. “You're the maknae of the group.”
Soobin groans, rubbing the side of his head. “That feels weird. As the second oldest and leader of Tubatu, being the maknae it's…anyway. So there's Leeho hyung. Million—surely he's got a real name I should learn.”
“Oh my god!” Yeonjun buries his face into his hands. “Just learn all of this off by heart!”
-
No one seems to catch on that Soobin is acting strange, and maybe it's because he hasn't seen any of them for the past ten years so they don't know how the 15 year old him grew up to be. Neither does Soobin, to be honest, even if Yeonjun's done his best to brief him on his current life.
“You bought a cafe! That's insane,” one of the hyungs—Soobin thinks his name is Sungtan but someone else called him by another name and he’s a little afraid to ask Yeonjun, in case he tells him off—says when Yeonjun mentions his cafe. “Well done, Soobin!”
“Thank you,” he says, but it feels odd to be taking credit for this world's Soobin's hard work. Yeonjun explained that most of the money they made as idols ended up being spent on paying back their trainee debt, so they worked hard for another 8 years to save up. He didn't exactly explain what work they did, but Soobin knows it must've been rewarding.
“Dance practice will start from tomorrow, I hope you all are still fit,” their temporary managers joke as they start making their way out of the conference room.
Soobin tries his best to stay focused, but there's so much going on. Contracts being handed to them, schedules are planned for the next three weeks, and everyone keeps asking Yeonjun and Soobin what their relationship is. It made sense when the staff asked to confirm if they had to make any arrangements for them, like letting their editors for behind the scenes content be aware of any cuts. But then every person they came across asked them, and that's when Soobin remembered that was part of the reason why he never acted on what he felt towards his own Yeonjun.
The amount of questions, judging stares, faux sympathy; he just didn't want to deal with any of it.
“You okay?” Yeonjun asks once they made it to their hotel room, a shared room for the two of them, something Yeonjun requested.
“I'm fine,” Soobin replies, taking a seat on the bed and leaning back until his back meets the bed. He rubs his face with his hands and legs out a sigh. He's an idol, maybe not an active one in this world, but in his own world he's an idol that's constantly on tour, having comebacks back to back. This should be nothing in comparison to his daily life there. So why does this feel so much more exhausting and stressful?
Yeonjun takes a seat next to him and leans on his elbow. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Something clearly is, you're hiding from me,” Yeonjun says, peeling Soobin's fingers away from his face. “Come on, talk to me.”
Soobin looks up at him, and it feels so strange. Being the oldest and the leader of the group, there was always an expectation between them that they had to take care of one another. Soobin’s only Hyung, Yeonjun, and Yeonjun’s leader, Soobin. But that wasn’t really the case. Soobin found it easier to open up to Taehyun, or to Beomgyu—especially since they always came to him first, a frown on their faces and a timeline of events that worried them.
But Soobin wanted to go to Yeonjun. He was just worried it would add to the burden of things Yeonjun carried on his back, always looking out for the group, always acting like he was okay. Whenever he ever did come across a teary-eyed Soobin, he would smile at him warmly, opening his arms and letting the younger fall into them with ease. But moments like that were so rare, and they never spoke during them, just enjoying each other's comfort.
“Did your Soobin come to you about his problems?” Soobin asks instead of answering his question. “And did you go to him?”
“Well, yeah,” Yeonjun laughs softly. “We only had each other. The others were so much older than us, and kids in school made fun of us for being failed idols. It was you and me against the world, it always has been,” he pauses, eyes scanning Soobin’s expression before continuing, “Why? Do you not talk to your Yeonjun about worries?”
Soobin averts his gaze. “Not really. Not often. I wouldn’t really have to put things into words for Yeonjun hyung to understand what’s going on. He always just knew.”
“But you didn’t go to him?”
“I don’t know if he was ever waiting for me,” Soobin mumbles. “He has his own struggles and worries, so I tried my best to stay out of the way.”
Yeonjun frowns, poking Soobin’s cheek. “I would never think that way, never about you. You’re never a bother.”
“I guess,” Soobin answers, his tone non-committal. “Anyway, Hyung. I wanted to ask, but why did you guys disband? You had such a great hit, wouldn’t the next comeback have been extremely successful?”
Yeonjun freezes, pulling his finger away from Soobin’s cheek. “Hm, it’s a bit of a long story,” he says, leaning back from Soobin. “Are you sure you want to know?”
It’s been on Soobin’s mind since he found out about them; it's been the only thing he’d been able to focus on. If so many things were similar to his own universe, like his love for Kara (as seen from the albums he had of theirs in his bookshelf at home), then wouldn't his ambition of becoming a successful idol have been the same? And what about Yeonjun, even if they disbanded then why didn't Yeonjun pursue a career as a soloist either? Soobin thinks out of everyone he knows, Yeonjun would've been the perfect soloist. And besides, how could a group that had Choi Yeonjun in it disband? He needed to know. So he nods.
“It started with a rumour,” Yeonjun says, speaking to Soobin but his eyes are distant. “Choi Yeonjun and Choi Soobin kissed in the practice room. Or other things like, the maknaes have secret girlfriends. Our members never spread any of them, but people from management, stylists, makeup artists—honestly just anyone we would work with. They would all share stuff that went on behind our closed doors.”
Soobin holds Yeonjun's hand when the older quietens down, hoping it'll bring some comfort. Yeonjun blinks before looking at him and smiling.
“Then a lot of nonsense was spread as well, like rumours that the two of us hated each other, or that we were bullies at school,” Yeonjun continues, using his free hand to pat the top of Soobin's head. “No news articles picked it up, probably paid off, but at the time, people from music shows and any sort of event we attended were looking at us differently.”
“It's hard to live in the spotlight,” Soobin whispers.
Yeonjun’s smile widens, pinching Soobin's cheek as he says, “Of course, you'd understand that best, Mr-Idol-of-6-years. But…we were just kids, and everyone was documenting every little thing we did. If I frowned in a video, it would get clipped hundreds of times and there would be a bunch of comments talking about how I'm showing attitude. If you ever stayed quiet for too long, people would think you didn't care about the fans. There was no right answer to anything.”
That was something Soobin was already worried about when he looked at his younger members. Taehyun and Kai were especially so young when they debuted, Soobin wished he could've protected them from everything they had to face. But they stayed strong and would always shake their heads and smile at Soobin when he'd ask if anything was wrong. He would still ask though, for the off chance of when they needed his help.
“Our parents noticed how much it was affecting us and immediately asked us if this was truly something we wanted to pursue,” Yeonjun continues, his voice small. “Hearing that question…I felt such indescribable happiness, almost as if I had been waiting for someone to give me that option, to just walk away. It felt so impossible otherwise. Our contracts were so restrictive, but our parents managed to strike some sort of deal with the company. They let us go with no notice to the fans and shortly afterwards announced our disbandment.”
Just like that, they left the idol industry. Soobin can't ever imagine taking such a big step, even when he was a trainee he never dreamt of leaving behind those torturous days. His body would ache, and he'd cry himself to sleep every other night, but the light at the end of the tunnel kept him going. Even after debut, even after being accused of things he'd never done, the love and support he got from the fans, the members, his family; it was all worth it at the end of the day.
But being in a situation where everything you do is a problem, even the sweetest joys start to taste bitter.
“It might sound insane to you,” Yeonjun starts when Soobin doesn't say anything. “But I could give it up easily because I had Soobin by my side. We went back to school together, attended university together, pooled in all our money, got a loan from the bank and used up the last bit of profit we made from being idols to buy a cafe. It wasn't as bitter as it may seem to you.”
“So you and…your Soobin, you've been together since…”
“Since we were kids, yeah,” Yeonjun laughs, amused by the flustered look on Soobin's face. “You're the one who confessed first, by the way! All shy and awkward, apologising for having fallen for me. So, so, so cute.”
“And you don't…” Soobin trails off, the words at the top of his tongue but he doesn't know how to say it, doesn't know if he should say it.
But as always, even this Yeonjun knows what he's thinking, somehow figuring it all out with just one look at his face. With a small smile, he slides his hand down from his head and brushes a strand of hair away from Soobin's eyes. “I could never regret you, Soobin. Not in this world, not in any world.”
Soobin feels his eyes sting as his throat tightens, but before he can look away, Yeonjun holds his face gently.
“But please don't blame your Yeonjun,” he says softly. “It must've been hard for him to not choose you.”
Soobin pursues his lips, trying his best to keep the tears at bay. He hadn't even said anything and yet Yeonjun knew. Of course he knew. “I don't blame him, I'm just as afraid. Like the version of me in this world, I could've been the one to say it first, I don't need to wait for him.”
The unspoken feelings, always left unspoken. The closest they ever got to saying the words out loud was when they were in the practice room together once as trainees. Sweat was running down their necks and mirrors covered in condensation. The others had gone home early since they had school the next day so it was just the two of them, sitting side by side.
“I'm really thankful to have you with me,” Yeonjun had said, a crooked smile on his face as he reached out to hold Soobin's hand. It was gross, they were practically drowning in their sweat. But it still let butterflies free in Soobin's stomach.
“I'm thankful to have you too,” Soobin replied, hoping Yeonjun would understand the deeper meaning of his words. And with the way Yeonjun had ducked his head, his ears turning an even darker shade of red, Soobin assumed he got it.
But nothing ever came of it, and Soobin never asked for more. They were too busy in their lives, having to balance living as idol trainees and living as Choi Yeonjun and Choi Soobin, two teenagers working hard to make their dreams come true.
“Don't be afraid,” Yeonjun whispers, leaning closer. “The two of you have waited for so long.”
“But what if he's not like you,” Soobin argues, the first tear escaping. He hasn't realised he missed his Yeonjun this much until now. “If what I felt since I met him, if it's all just been in my head. I don't know how I'll ever recover from it. I can't lose Yeonjun hyung.”
“And you won't,” Yeonjun counters. “I'm confident when I say this, Soobin. In any universe, any world, in every lifetime—it's always going to be you. I would always find you, and I would always choose you. Without hesitation, without doubt, it's always you.”
Soobin lets out a wet laugh, saying, “You're raising the standard too much, Hyung. What if I got back and my Yeonjun isn't as romantic as this?”
Yeonjun looks at him warmly, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “It's all natural. When it comes to you, love isn't hard. It's not something I have to figure out or force it. It just happens.”
Soobin's eyes wander down from Yeonjun's eyes to his lips, still as plump as he remembers them. He's always wanted to know what they felt pressed against his own, would they ignite the butterflies again, cause his entire world to spin? But before he can think of anything more, Yeonjun holds a hand over Soobin's lips and leans down, kissing the back of his hand.
“Wha—” Soobin's voice gets muffled behind Yeonjun's hand as he tries to ask why Yeonjun wouldn't just kiss him.
“Soobin's first kiss was me and my first kiss was Soobin,” Yeonjun says after he pulls away, a gentle smile on his face. “I don't know if your Yeonjun's had his first kiss yet, or if you've had yours, but I don't want to take your first kiss with Yeonjun away. It's special and the type of memory that lasts forever.”
Soobin finds himself falling for Yeonjun again, even in another universe. It's a never-ending cycle.
-
Dance practice goes smoother than planned. Soobin's body somehow seems to remember the dance better than the rest—okay, that was a lie. Soobin spent the entire night rewatching fancams and performances, even going as far as to wake up earlier than Yeonjun to run through it a few times. The others, including Yeonjun, look at him in surprise when he's the only one who made no mistakes.
“It's no surprise that you're still great at dancing,” Jaeil jokes, patting Soobin on the back. “Share some of that with us, yeah?”
“I'm trying my best,” Soobin nods along, feeling embarrassed when Yeonjun gives him a knowing look.
Despite putting such an emphasis on dance practice, they don't schedule many of them, Soobin notices when he opens his calendar. They have a ton of variety show shoots to get through, and Soobin feels a sense of responsibility whenever they get to a set. Maybe it's leader instinct, or the fact that he knows he has the most experience there, but he accidentally ends up taking charge whenever they introduce themselves or talk about their reunion (a script that was only passed to Yeonjun).
Yeonjun…doesn't seem too mad about it though, a wide smile on his face whenever Soobin completes the sentences he forgets. He gives Soobin a pat on the butt or a kiss on the cheek when no one's looking as a form of encouragement. It only makes him more nervous, but he isn't going to ask Yeonjun to stop doing that. Never.
“It's crazy how quickly time passes,” Yeonjun says a few weeks later when they're sitting in their hotel room, their suitcases almost empty of new outfits. “Over a month ago we—well, I—was just a normal working from home corporate employee and now I'm here, hours away from performing on a music show for our reunion. Isn't that insane? I never thought I'd ever come back here.”
“Are you happy?” Soobin asks, pouring Yeonjun some juice before himself.
“I'm more than happy,” Yeonjun giggles, shaking his hands in excitement. He looks cute, especially with his hair cut shorter, he looks too much like the Yeonjun that Soobin is most familiar with and just the thought of him brought a pang to his heart. “Unlike being an active idol, I'm just going to go on stage for one performance. I'll get some love, some attention, get the experience and then—back to normal life.”
“And you're fine with that? You don't want to return to a life like this?”
Yeonjun hums, thinking. “It's not…it's not as bad as it used to be. They're not forcing us on diets or locking us in practice rooms. But it's not the kind of life I want to live, not anymore, not after experiencing what it's like to just stay at home and spend my time with,” Yeonjun pauses, gesturing towards Soobin. “With my life partner.”
Soobin smiles and nods. “Well then, I'm happy for you.”
Yeonjun takes a sip of his drink before turning to him. “And what about you? Do you like living as an idol or as a small local cafe owner more?”
Soobin doesn't even hesitate. “I like how my life is. Living as an idol, interacting with fans, knowing there's people out there whose lives are changing because of me. It's all a reward in its own way. Sure, it's difficult living like that sometimes, when the loving eyes on you turn bitter. But then I get back to the dorms and I see my members and—they just make everything better. Eating dinner with them, playing games with them, even just sitting in the living room on our phones, everything just makes me happy as long as I'm with them.”
Yeonjun seems satisfied with his answer, raising his glass towards Soobin. “Well then, Soobinnie. Cheers to our first and last performance as a group together?”
Soobin laughs as he raises his glasses, clinking it against Yeonjun's. “Cheers!”
-
The lights are blinding when Soobin wakes up, and he raises a hand to rub his eyes and get rid of the fog. But quickly gets stopped when a hand grabs his wrist and pulls it away.
“You're going to ruin the makeup, Soobin-ssi!” He hears and upon instinct he apologies and puts his hands back on top of his lap, ready to fall asleep again. And then—
“Wait, what?” Soobin opens his eyes and looks up, facing himself in the mirror, his hair a dark shade of blond and eyebags peeking from under his eyes, just as the makeup artist returns to concealing them. He blinks in confusion when he notices the blue top he was wearing, a matching blue tie and the outfit looked so similar to what he was going to wear for the reunion performance.
“If you rub your eyes,” Soobin tenses when he hears the voice, the tone of teasing, and the smug smile that appears in front of him in the mirror moments later. “Then your makeup will spread and get ruined, Soobin-ssi. Come on, has it been that long since you've been an idol that you forgot what it's like to get your makeup done?”
The staff around them all giggle as Yeonjun steps closer. Soobin watches him through the mirror with wide eyes. The atmosphere around him was completely different but at the same time so familiar, something Soobin was so used to, something Soobin missed.
“Yeonjun hyung!” Soobin gasps, standing up from his seat. The makeup artist jumps back and lets out a sigh, putting her equipment away and shooing him with a warning to come back before they went on stage. “Yeonjun hyung!”
“Yes, yes, that's me,” Yeonjun answers, eyebrows raised in amusement when Soobin wraps his arms around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug. “What's got you this affectionate?”
“I missed you so much.” When the words leave Soobin's mouth, that's when everything clicks in place. Yeonjun freezes for a moment, and Soobin holds his breath. Then arms wrap around Soobin and he's pulled even closer to Yeonjun.
“Is—are you—are you my Soobin?” Yeonjun asks in a whisper, holding him close as if he'll disappear if he lets go.
“Yeah, yes. Yes, I'm your Soobin,” he answers, entire body shaking as he pulls away to look him in the eyes. Yeonjun’s glassy eyes were most likely a reflection of his own, and they must seem crazy wherever they were standing, but Soobin needed this moment. “I missed you so much. I thought I would never see you again.”
“Soobin—” Yeonjun gets cut off when a member of staff steps into the room and calls them for their performance. Soobin doesn't even know what performance they're about to do, but he nods and lets the makeup artist pat away at his face.
“We're performing that OST song, do you remember it?” Yeonjun says, as they're walking through the corridors, trying his best to brief him before they get to the stage. “You know, the one that goes ‘I will be missing you, I will be—”
“Missing you,” Soobin completes, nodding as lets out a laugh. “Hyung, I've been practicing that song and dance for the past three weeks.”
“You…” Yeonjun trails off before shaking his head. “We need to talk properly after this. You need to tell me exactly where you've been this whole time and how Soobin—the other Soobin— was here. Okay?”
“Of course,” Soobin answers just as they reach the stage, fixing their mics that weren't even connected properly just one more time and greeting the others, people Soobin knew more personally in another world.
As they start climbing the stairs to the stage, fans just on the other side of the dividers, Soobin grabs Yeonjun's arm and stops him in place. “Wait, Hyung.”
Yeonjun turns around, the usual glow around him, the one Soobin was always amazed by and the one that always convinced Soobin that there was no point in trying to chase after him. That he should just admire from afar. “What is it?”
It's not the time, nor the place, but he feels the need to say it. “I would never regret you.”
Yeonjun's mouth parts and he blinks down at Soobin. For a moment, Soobin thinks he's truly ruined things, that the other worlds Yeonjun had fed him too many delusions of a love which was only possible in one world. In a simpler universe where they weren't idols and just two people happily in love together. But then the corner of Yeonjun's lips twitch and finally bloom into a smile.
He ducks his head a little, ears burning red as he says, “Yeah. Me too. I would never regret you either.”