Work Text:
Annie waited in Senor Chang's office, mentally going over the plan again as she waited for her profess—for her teacher to arrive. She did a quick scan of the room: Britta and Abed (who had insisted on joining them once photography got involved) were in position and well-hidden, the room was quiet, and her negligee was… well, negligible.
The plan was simple, elegant, and completely disgusting. But it had to work.
In her mind, it went like this:
He opened the door and was immediately stuck, staring at her in her skimpy (but just modest enough so that she wasn't actually giving anything away, thank you) slip. She lounged on his desk, hip cocked, arms discreetly pushing her breasts together in that way she'd read about in a sneaked copy of Cosmo three years ago, and again last year. She pursed her lips, slunk to her feet, and tossed her hair.
"I was thinking about our little argument before," she said in sultry tones. "And I was thinking there might be another way to resolve it."
"I…" Chang swallowed and closed the door. "I don't know." But he was already locking it behind him, and she smirked.
"Don't you?" She tossed her hair again and walked towards him. "I think you do."
"Oh, la gringa bonita…" He sighed and moved towards her, unable to resist. He put his arms around her and leaned in—
Just in time to be caught by Britta and Abed's flashes, and before he could actually touch Annie's mouth at all, because ew. "The jig is up, Chang!" she declared as he reeled back, pointing her finger at him with a triumphant hair toss.
"I'm sorry!" he begged. "I was weak! I'll do whatever you say!"
"You're amazing, Annie," Britta sighed.
"Your performance was phenomenal," Abed agreed.
"We're so proud of you!" Shirley and the others chimed in from the doorway.
And so, Annie saved the day, and her soul—
"Annie! Annie!" Britta was hissing. "He's coming!"
Oh, here it was. Annie swallowed back her nerves, leaned across the desk, and pushed her boobs up a la Cosmo, just as the door swung open and Senor Chang said—
"Oh, come on, are you kidding me?"
"What?" Annie sat up, and then quickly corrected herself, dropping her voice breathily. "I mean—what?"
"Is this a joke, Princesa? You think no one has tried this before?"
This wasn't something she'd expected. Although, come to think of it, maybe she should have. It wasn't like she was the only one in the school who'd ever hated him this much. She realized he was staring at her in what looked like horrified amusement and went red, crossing her legs, folding her arms over her chest to cover herself.
"You mean…" She made one last attempt. "You don't want my gringa bonita pechugas?"
"That means chicken breast," he snorted. "And no, I'll pass." He raised his voice. "Did you all hear that?"
Britta and Abed slunk out, looking disappointed. "I didn't see this twist coming," Abed muttered, abashed. "It was a real Shyamalan move, pre-The Village." Britta shushed him.
Annie rallied herself and hopped off the desk, advancing on Chang. "This still isn't over, Senor Chang. You may have won this round, but I'll keep trying and trying until--"
"Until what?" He sneered. "Until I fail you?"
"Until—Britta, now!" And just in time for Britta to get her camera up, Annie grabbed Senor Chang and molded herself to him, leaning in as if for a kiss. He yelled and yanked back, but it was too late. Annie leapt off him as soon as she heard the camera click, shuddering in revulsion, but flushed with triumph. "Ha!"
"Dammit!" Chang sighed, looking more disappointed than seriously angry. "Fine. Whatever. Do whatever you want."
And that, Annie decided, was close enough. "Thanks, you guys." She pulled Britta and Abed into a hug, beaming. "I couldn't have done it without you."
"Can you please get your barely legal ass out of my office now?" Chang snapped. "Geez. Get over it. Enjoy your animal sacrifices."
"We don't—"
"Do I look like I care?" He hustled them out unceremoniously and slammed the door behind them. Annie thought she heard a bottle opening.
"How'd it go?" Jeff poked his head out from around the corner, followed by Shirley, Pierce and Troy. Annie realized she was still wearing basically nothing and coughed desperately, waving Shirley over with her coat.
"Um," she said, once she had regained the use of her voice at normal frequencies. "Good enough." She wrapped the coat tightly around herself and managed a smile at her friends. "I think I have a lot to discuss with the Big Guy this year, but… a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?"
Shirley rubbed her shoulder. "It was all in the name of justice, sweetie, remember that."
"Yeah. Blackmailing a guy with sexual harassment to go to temple, that seems religiously legit to me," Jeff deadpanned—but he was smiling. "I could totally get it to hold up in court, anyway."
"Now come on." Troy tugged at her sleeve. "Let's go get some of those cracker things."
"That's Passover."
"He means the ones you make noise with, I think," Shirley offered.
"That's Purim," Annie sighed.
Still, she thought, as her friends herded themselves towards the cafeteria… In spite of everything, it had been a pretty good year.
And she'd enjoy it, once she had about a thousand showers. Her nightie smelled like cheap wine and olives. Ugh.
