Chapter Text
Griffin Stagg was eleven years old when the world went to shit.
Back then, it was just him and his mom running around and trying to find a good place to stay for the night, fighting for food and the last drop of water they could find. They could never stay in one spot for too long. The dead always managed to find them.
Griffin was twelve when he and his mom were accepted into the Hilltop colony.
Life at Hilltop was nice. With her past experience with working as a nurse, his mom got to work at the community’s infirmary with assisting the doctor. She got to help a lot of people, which immediately earned them a lot of respect from their neighbours. Griffin actually got to celebrate his birthday there! He never thought he’d see another cake again, but it sat right in front of him that windy September day. They picked strawberries as part of the celebration.
And then the Saviours came.
Griffin had gotten used to not being scared, but when those men in black vests barged through the front gate two months before his fourteenth birthday, he felt his chest tighten up with a type of despair he hadn’t felt since before Hilltop. The men had guns- a lot of them- and they pointed them all around the place. They shot them, too.
What happened that night went by in lightning strokes, and it messed with his brain in a way that was too painful to bring up. He wanted to keep his memory of that night hazy and far away.
But he will always hear the screams.
It took a while to patch everyone up at the infirmary. Griffin could see how stressed his mom was with the amount of patients. It was a lot; a lot more than there’d ever been before. Griffin offered to help them, but she wouldn’t let him.
“It’s too much here, sweetheart,” She had said, sweat dripping down her face as she attempted a smile to reassure him. “I don’t want to stress you.” And that had been that as she shut the door, ending the conversation as a whole.
Griffin heard whispers from his neighbours that those men- Saviours (how ironic?)- were going to start taking half of their resources in exchange for ‘peace’ between them. The thought confused him. Peace? After what they did? ‘Yeah, sorry for attacking you. By the way, if you give us half of your stuff, we won’t do it again!’ Bullshit.
But he couldn’t do anything, could he? He really shouldn’t dwell on it for too long. The strawberries were in bad condition from the night prior; he had to get them ready.
- - - - -
Okay, so this fucking sucks.
Loren Swan wasn’t planning on being dragged along so early in the morning just to haul supplies from this community his father had taken under control with the permission of Negan last week. But here he was. Sitting in the passenger seat of the truck as his father drove.
“It would be a good experience,” He said. “Just stay put, keep your mouth shut and help around if anyone asks.” He said. But if he was so desperate to bring him along, then why wasn’t he able to do anything? If he wanted a slave, then he could have freely gotten himself one of the workers! God, Loren felt like he just wanted to drag him around as an attempt to get him to ‘behave’ - he probably did, actually.
People would say having a father who was a Saviour would be lucky. And then people find out your father is not only a Saviour, but a lieutenant- the right hand to the big man himself. Then people lose their shit because his father is a fucking lieutenant .
To be real, Loren never wanted to be sucked into the Saviour lifestyle. It was too complicated with its millions of rules you had to follow or else your face would get burnt right off. Yes, the Sanctuary was safe, but he hated how some of the people were treated there. He hated the sad expressions on the workers’ faces. He hated the mean looks that the Saviours wore like they owned the world. He hated sleeping in fear that Negan was going to burst down the door and force a boiling iron to his face. All this, and yet, he could still have a bed to call his own and a family who’s safe. He hated life at the sanctuary, but he loved its walls and fences.
A bump in the road brought his mind back, and he could see the large wooden walls advancing up the horizon.
“Remember what I told you.” His father snapped, his voice tuning into the tone he used whenever he was threatening Loren or his sister. Mostly him. “Keep your mouth shut and make yourself useful.” Loren nodded. He probably wasn’t going to do that, but for the sake of his bones when they got back home, he’ll comply. For now.
Even though Hilltop was no Sanctuary, Loren couldn’t help feeling his mouth gape open when he saw what was inside of those walls. A huge brick building (he heard it used to be a museum) loomed tall behind smaller venues and stands. In the back, there were a couple of metal trailers, for residence, Loren assumed. He spotted a couple small pens with animals inside running about without a care in the world, alongside some plant beds filled with plants and vegetables.
A sharp pain hit his gut-... guilt, he recognized. Were they really taking from such a beautiful place? Really? Did the Saviours really need to use other communities for supplies? People were a resource, yeah, but they had a ton of people back at the Sanctuary! Why not just use them ?
The click of a car door opening startled Loren, who swore under his breath as he watched his father jump out of the truck. Knowing he had no other choice but to follow, he forced open the car door and exited. His feet landed with a thud, and the moment he stepped out, the aroma of dirt, sweat, and pig shit filled the air. Maybe they were doing this place a favour, taking from it… He was kidding! He was kidding.
Around him, his father began spitting out orders to not only the residents of Hilltop, but to the other Saviours that joined the field trip. There were probably more Saviours than inhabitants actually, which Loren thought was completely unfair. What did they think Hilltop was going to do? Send the animals after them? They were probably too busy eating Leichen ass to do anything.
As Loren swayed on his feet, waiting for his father to shut his mouth up, he looked around the crowd of Hilltop residents. They all wore familiar sad eyes he’s seen on the workers before and farmers-esque clothing; he doubted they looked this depressed before they came around.
While scanning the crowd, his eyes landed on a head of curly blonde hair and a face full of freckles.
Loren knew it was rude to stare, but he couldn’t help it. The blonde seemed around his age-ish, maybe even older; scars littered his arms, with a flannel scrunched up at the elbows. He wasn’t standing with the crowd, though- he was tending to rotten strawberries a couple metres away. There was a sort of cold, distant look in his eyes as he tried to resurrect a lost cause. But he would never fix those strawberries. They would never grow back. His community would never break free from the Saviours. They were stuck in this situation. He was stuck.
Loren could relate.
Then the blonde’s eyes shot up to face him, and he looked away.
- - - - -
His father pulled him aside to pretend he’s treating him nicely again. “Remember what I told you?” He asked for the millionth time.
“Yes.” Loren tried not to grumble. He still had to get through the day without another yelling session with his old man. Even though child abuse is very much punishable back at the Sanctuary if he ever got caught, Loren didn’t want to risk it.
Just play along for now and maybe he’d get a chance to talk to that blonde.
His father looked at him for a second, fierce eyes studying his exact appearance- something Loren was very much used to before the world went to shit- before sighing and swiping his head away. Loren didn’t falter as he watched the Head Swan pinch his nose. “Don’t fuck anything up.” And thankfully he left. Finally .
After a second or two of waiting around to see if he’d come back, Loren itched off the first buttons of the collar of his shirt (apparently it was mandatory for him to wear these fuck ass button-ups) and trudged on. He passed by a mixture of Saviours and residents all hurrying around as the Saviours crashed the place. He cringed as he watched a Saviour dump a barrel of fresh water to the ground, as a helpless woman watched behind him. Loren kept walking.
He wanted to explore Hilltop- its wooden stands and brick museum interested him, but it was hard to explore when so much was being destroyed. Was this how these trips were going to go now? Utter chaos? What good is taking from a community, if you’re just going to wreck it all so barely anything is retrievable? Loren had many questions and criticisms regarding his father’s plan for Hilltop, but he couldn’t voice them. Not in a way that would keep him from getting yelled at, at least.
As his mind whirled with the noise of the Saviours yelling at the residents and children crying, he looked around to find a quiet spot. Another reason why Loren disliked the Saviours! They could never keep their damn mouths shut. Suddenly, his eyes focused on the back, behind the trailers. The plant beds! It seemed like no one was there yet, so Loren obviously made his way back there before anyone could.
Behind the trailers were nice. It was closed off, but not too closed off to be claustrophobic. It was a small, comfortable space large enough for a person or two to fit comfortably. Plus, the plants smelled nice and they reminded Loren to take a breath- something his Ma told him to do when he got scared back when the dead first started walking.
“Ehem,” A voice startled him as he flipped around and then froze. The freckled blonde stood not so far away from him.
He held out a basket full of strawberries. The destroyed strawberries from when he was sorting through them a while ago. He was offering them. “Strawberries. For… the trade .”
Loren blinked. Trade. ‘Trade’ was not at all what was going on between Hilltop and the Saviours. “Oh- right, uh...” He stammered. Why was he stammering? Should he take the basket? Father did say to help out where he can.. Might as well? He reached towards the basket before pausing and then immediately lowering his hands a slight bit. This felt wrong.
“Aren’t you a Saviour?” The Blonde tilted his head and looked at Loren judgmentally as he declined the basket.
He opened his mouth. Loren was very much not a Saviour. “No.” He replied, a slight bit offended.
The blonde raised an eyebrow, expression remaining unimpressed. Loren cleared his throat, trying to win him back. “I- Well, my father is, but-but I’m not. I don’t… I don’t like to be associated with them.” He explained, watching wearily as the Blonde frowned.
“You.. don’t like to be associated with them?” He asked, eyes still boring into his soul. Yeah, he wasn’t convinced. Loren sucked in another breath.
No, no, don’t make him think you’re one of them. Show him how you’re similar.
He held out a hand for a handshake, unconsciously following his father’s mannerisms. “I’m Loren.”
The blonde stared blankly at the outstretched hand, before looking back up at him. “..Griffin.”
Griffin? Well, he’s getting there. Guessing that he wasn’t going to shake hands, he dropped his and shoved it into his pocket. “Uh- it’s nice to meet you.”
Griffin shook his head. “It really isn’t.”
Loren agreed with that. He would have said more- maybe an apology about the ‘trades’ or a quip to counter Griffin’s brashness regarding the Saviours (Loren could relate), but he suddenly saw the iconic dark vest uniform of the Saviours in the corner of his eye.
Without thinking, he snatched the basket of strawberries out of Griffin’s hands. To keep up the act when the Saviour creeped up closer, he spat on the ground next to the blonde, who then stared at him like he was crazy. Loren bit back a smile. He probably was.
“Lil’ Swan?” The Saviour asked, raising an eyebrow as he eyed the two. Loren grimaced at the nickname. “Wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Ah, well, you know..” Loren whistled, trying to remain casual. He swayed on his heels as he kept his eyes Griffin while he spoke. “Just doing my part trying to help. Whatever the old man says, y’know.”
The Saviour shrugged, seemingly convinced enough. Geez, were Saviours always this stupid? Loren wasn’t even trying. “Well, that’s good.” He nodded at him before turning his gaze back to Griffin. “You followin’ his orders?” He teased, his voice condescending as he tossed a wide smile towards him.
“..Yes.” Griffin responded bitterly.
The Saviour just kept smiling, probably finding Griffin’s attitude amusing. Thankfully, he turned his head back towards Loren. “Keep up the good work, huh?” He chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before redirecting his body to turn back around. “Your father would be proud.” He said before walking off again.
Loren let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and turned back to Griffin, who only stared blankly at where the Saviour had walked off to. This kid’s really got a lot of bitterness in him, huh? He could tell from the look on his face and the tone in his voice when speaking to the Saviour.
“ ‘Lil’ Swan’ ?” He asked, and Loren could tell he was trying to push down a snicker. “What are you, a rapper?”
“Shut it.” Loren scoffed, turning away to hide his embarrassment. As if being in this situation wasn’t embarrassing enough- of course his father’s men had to throw their weird ass nicknames at his face in front of a boy he was trying to convince he was a decent human being too.
After a good second, he finally decided to take notice of what was up with the strawberries Griffin had handed to him. “Ew- shit, what is in this??” His face scrunched up. The strawberries! They were complete shit! Like- literally , they looked like shit . “Were you trying to poison me or something?”
Griffin rolled his eyes. “Well, not specifically you , obviously. Don’t get ahead of yourself- I barely know you.” He scoffed. “The night the Saviours first attacked Hilltop… They messed up all of our crops. And then demanded we give them said crops- how weird is that?” He sighed, lazily gesturing at the strawberries in Loren’s hands. “Might as well give them the consequences of their actions.”
Loren looked back to the strawberries. The more he looked, they started to actually look stepped on and shot at. More guilt filled his stomach. They used to be good fruit.
Griffin noticed his silence. “I was hoping to poison them- or whatever..” He muttered. “I know they’d notice the shit condition- I just.. I don’t know..” He looked outside where the Saviours were still out wrecking the place. “I guess I had a bit of hope that they’d eat it, get a nasty infection and die. Then they’d turn, slaughter and eat their friends and doom their entire community. Y’know, as payback for what they did here.”
Yeah, that made sense, but it was sort of a sick way of thinking, wasn’t it? Loren liked this kid even more every second.
“That’s a little morbid, isn’t it?” He teased, raising an eyebrow. Griffin stared back at him blankly. “Are you going to tell them?”
Loren shook his head. “Where’s the fun in that?” He hummed. “I’ll take the strawberries back and sneak them in one of their lunches- maybe even a couple per person. If we’re not back by next week, then know that your plan worked.” He managed a smile as he readjusted the basket on his hip.
Griffin stared even more before scoffing, but Loren could tell he was trying not to smile. “You are not doing that.” He said, but there was a small bit of entertainment laced into the words.
“Yeah. They’d find out immediately and I’d get my ass beat.” Loren shrugged. “But hey, where’s the harm in trying?”
Griffin’s lips upturned into a small side smile that he tried to force down as he turned away.
- - - - -
The Saviour kid ended up taking the strawberries.
Griffin wasn’t completely sure why, but the Saviour kid insisted that he bring it anyway. Even though when (WHEN it happened- not if) his stupid mind delusion plan failed, Griffin was definitely going to end up as another body in the burn pile. Also, the kid thought it would be funny. Griffin gave up at that point.
Now, he watched the Saviours' trucks drive out of the Hilltop walls, leaving what was once a thriving and beautiful community in ruins. Again. His mom was still in the infirmary helping the injured people; luckily no one was hurt badly this time. The most anyone’s gotten today was a slap to the face, and that was only because he was one-upping the Saviours. Nobody else’s fault.
As the last truck finally started to pull out, Griffin wondered about the Not-Saviour Saviour Boy- Loren? Griffin found him odd, but at least he wasn’t mean to him. Maybe he was hiding something. He did seem incredibly fidgety during their interaction- maybe he was nervous? Loren doesn’t seem like the nervous type- maybe Griffin was doing the staring thing again and making him uncomfortable. Gregory always thought it was creepy.
The doors suddenly shut with a loud clank, and Griffin could feel the weight lifted off everybody’s shoulders. Everyone was thankful that it was over for today, that now they didn’t have to worry about breathing the wrong way, or saying the wrong thing.
But everybody knew this wouldn’t be the last time. Far from it.
They still had work to do.
~ *~ *~
“I think they’re calling us back now.”
“You’re finally going?”
“Don’t sound too excited- we’re going to be back same time next week.”
“...”
“..Sorry, I didn’t mean-..”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“...”
“...”
“I’ll see you... Thanks for the strawberries.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Griffin.”