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Chapter 1: The Fish Stuck in a Dream
Sayaka Miki POV
"Maybe I do have one regret... you, Sayaka. I regret ever meeting you."
Those were the words that echoed in my mind every night, eating away at what little sense I had left.
I knew it was nothing but a mere fabrication of my subconscious, yet,
It felt like I was sinking. Drowning in my own despair, slowly but surely, I'd be nothing but a memory once again.
The weight of these unspoken truths were pressing down on me with every teardrop that escaped from my eyes.
I could hardly tell the difference between these nightmares and reality anymore.
I slowly opened my eyes.
The sun was beaming through my window like always, shining down on your calm and gentle sleeping face.
I believed that waking up beside you in bed every morning would make me happier; it should've, especially knowing the lives we led before.
But even so, I know that we can't be together like this. Each morning I find myself putting on the same mask, pretending that everything in this world is just fine.
How long has it been?
How long until we can't bear it anymore?
How long until my soul can finally rest?
I'm still unsure as to why I continue to lie straight in your face; I've done nothing but offer hollow smiles and empty promises to you.
Perhaps deep down, I still pray that my desperate attempts to cling onto the remnants of what we once had together will somehow work in the end.
Despite everything, I'm simply reverting back to my old selfish nature. I know I'm prioritizing my own comfort over your well-being.
I know it's wrong.
I know that I need to put a stop to this.
But can't someone trapped in hell at least try to wish for a happy dream?
I wipe away the tears that are still washing over my face like currents, but the ache in my chest still remains.
It's a constant reminder of the pain that being happy here brings me. It's not real. Even if I'm able to hold you in my arms now, none of this will matter eventually.
I shake my head, my thoughts feel so hazy.
Maybe it's just the weather of today getting to me, or maybe the pressure looming over my head.
It's a deadly force that threatens to crush my very being as soon as it gets the chance to,
because deep down, I know the truth.
I have to leave you soon.
This realization... This... Silent promise that I can no longer ignore will hang over me until my final moments with you.
—
As I finish buttoning up my uniform, preparing myself to face another day in this distorted world, I glance back over to you. You're still in a deep sleep, lost in your own sweet dreams, I assume.
Despite the tides within me, crashing back and forth, leaving me unable to figure out what's right and what's wrong anymore.
I can't help but feel a slight smile appear on my lips.
I really am grateful for these peaceful moments you give me. I'm happy to see this side of you for a while longer.
The one which provided me with warmth back then, comfort when the world I thought I knew was crumbling around me.
The flame that gave me a reason to return, even after death.
Although I'm nothing but a husk of what I once was, a shadow of my former magical girl self. I hope that someday I can give you something in return.
Kyoko, I want nothing more than to offer you the care and kindness you deserve.
Still, I'm afraid that I'm incapable of being the knight you yearn for. I'm nothing like the ones from those fairytales you love so much.
Can love and courage truly triumph here?
Can I finally show you how much I long for you, how much I actually love—
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Our alarm goes off, and I suddenly lose my train of thought.
It's probably for the best.
I shouldn't think of you in that way, at least not now. I already lost my chance at love many timelines ago.
As our alarm continues to blare, you finally stir awake from your slumber. Just like always, you flash that charming, teethy grin at me.
At that moment, as your eyes drifted towards mine, I could feel a flicker of hope. A part of me wants to believe that all of my past worries could simply fade away now.
The weight leaves my shoulders for a while and I allow you to finish getting ready.
Let's go and appreciate this new day we were given. Let's embrace it with joy and hope. Even if the tides persist, even if I'm nothing more than a small fish waiting to be washed away.
For now, I'll cast aside those waves of doubt and fear that threaten to consume me.
Because right now, I have you.
Let's go hand in hand,
Together.