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Bob didn’t think he’d ever get used to waking up in the Tower, he grew up in a pretty average home, nothing like the multi billion dollar skyscraper he currently lived in.
Sometimes it still felt odd, like he didn’t fully deserve to live in such a nice place. Although Yelena has made it pretty clear he shouldn’t think things like that, she’s always reassuring him those things aren’t true. That they don’t just want him here, but need him here, that he deserved to be here just like the rest of them.
It’s been about a year now since…the incident, his incident.
Thankfully he hasn’t had anymore major outbursts. He has sent a few of his new friends into scary memories a few times by accident, but they’ve always been able to talk it out afterwards.
If anything, those moments had only brought all of them closer. But other than those little accidents, he avoided using his abilities at all costs.
It was nice, Bob had both of his parents sure but- they were never really a family. But now? Yelena, Bucky, John, Ava and Alexei, they were his family. They were people he could rely on, people he could trust. And they all felt the same way, at least, that’s what they told him, he was still having trouble fully believing that. Sometimes it felt too good to be true.
After slipping on a soft crew neck and baggy jeans he headed out into the kitchen, even from his room he could already smell the wonderfully familiar scent of John’s cooking.
John Walker being a talented cook was honestly one of the last things any of them had expected. He’d never really displayed the soft, delicate, patient touch needed for something like cooking and yet, all of them were practically begging him to make dinner every night.
But right now, he was making pancakes, Bob’s personal favorite dish that John made regularly.
Despite their relationship starting off rather…hostile rocky, over the past few months they’d actually grown a rather nice friendship.
Bob always struggled with sleeping, one night a few months back, when they were just starting to stay at the Tower regularly, he’d gotten out of bed, deciding to walk around a bit, hoping to get his mind off things. Instead, he’d found John in the living room, staring out the window down at the city below.
He was going to go back to his room before John would see him but while he was backing away, he tripped over some plywood that had been left in the hallway while they were repairing the walls.
John helped him up, a bit awkwardly, and offered to make him some tea, since he knew that calmed him down. Bob accepted, and their little night time hangouts began happening more frequently, and slowly, began being a little less awkward.
“Ohhhh pancakes? Those smell amazing.” He said happily as he walked into the kitchen, he could see John even had a bag of chocolate chips out too. Even better.
John didn’t look back, already knowing who was behind him, Yelena and Ava usually got up a lot earlier than them, they enjoyed going on runs and working out together in the morning.
Alexei usually slept in till way after noon unless they had an early morning mission and Bucky usually woke up early too but from what John could tell, was still asleep.
John let out a small chuckle, “Good morning to you too Bob.” He said sarcastically, pouring some more batter onto his pan.
He was wearing a simple navy blue shirt and jeans, not a wrinkle in sight on his clothes, a habit he never lost from the military.
Bob laughed a little, “Sorry,” he responded sheepishly, “Good morning!”
“They should be ready soon.” John said as Bob walked behind him to one of the cabinets.
“Want some tea? I’m making myself one.” Bob offered, looking through the numerous boxes of different flavored tea bags. It had become a habit for the rest of the team; anytime any of them go shopping, if they see a new tea flavor, they buy it for Bob.
“No I’m good,” John responded, flipping one of the pancakes in the pan with practiced ease,
“Coffee would be nice though, I’m sure Bucky’s gonna want some too when he gets up.”
Bob nodded, happy to be helping. He liked contributing as much as he could.
Sometimes he felt a little bad not being able to help with the more ‘hero-y’ side of their job. He knew Sentry would be a very helpful addition to their missions but- He didn’t want to risk…the other guy, taking control. He couldn’t risk that.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, the pot of coffee and kettle of steaming water were ready, as was the comically large stack of the fluffiest pancakes Bob has ever seen.
“Poor me a cup will ya? I’ll make us both a plate.” John said already pulling out the plates, more than two, he knew the others would want some when they came in.
Both of them had their backs turned to the hallway. Bob had picked out their mugs; his, which had a picture of Dory from ‘Finding Nemo’ on it, with a little speech bubble that read “just keep swimming”. And John’s, that said “#1 coach’ in cheesy lettering, and a cartoon picture of a football on it. He could hear John behind him setting out two of the plates next to the stove before stopping suddenly,
“Well good morning sleeping beauty.”
He said, Bob looked over, he could see Bucky slowly walking over to them, the hallway light was off, making it a little difficult to see his face, but his long hair gave away that it was him, not Alexei.
John looked back to the stove, “Want any pancakes Barnes? They’re better when they’re warm”
Bob poured his tea first, deciding on chamomile. He was about to pour John his cup of coffee when he realized how quiet it was.
“Bucky?” John said again, Bob looked back over, John was staring at Bucky, his hand still holding the pan, he had a confused expression on his face.
Bob’s gaze moved from John to Bucky, he was still standing in the hallway, just far enough in the shadows that it was too difficult to distinguish his facial features. He was standing eerily still, it made Bob begin to wring his hands together nervously.
“Bucky? You okay?” He asked, walking closer to John, peaking out at Bucky from behind him.
Bucky still didn’t answer, something about his demeanor put them on edge. He seemed more tense, colder, than he usually is.
“Bucky.” John said, more sternly this time,
“What’s goin on?” He straightened up a bit, making sure to keep Bob behind him.
That’s when Bucky stepped forward, both John and Bob noticed it immediately.
His eyes, no sign of any emotion behind them. They looked…dead.
Bob took an involuntary step back, unsure of what to say or do. Bucky only took a few more steps closer to them, but each step filled the kitchen with more and more tension. He moved slowly, quietly, it felt methodical.
John glanced behind him at Bob, noticing how tense he’d gotten since Bucky came in, he turned back around, “Barnes, whatever your trying to do, quite it. You’re freaking Bob out.”
John didn’t have to say what he was thinking out loud, while none of them were walking on eggshells around him, anymore, they all knew it wasn’t the smartest idea to scare Bob or make him nervous.
“Я готов начать свою следующую миссию”
It was the first time Bucky had spoken that morning, his unexpected words sent chills down their spines. Bucky’s voice was uncomfortably empty, flat.
The Russian phrase reminded John of something.
Years back, before he was officially announced as ‘the new Captain America’ he’d done several training courses with the government and had been given a lot of material to study to make sure he was ready.
One of the topics he had to learn about was Hydra. Which made sense figuring how much of Captain America related to them.
He was given a huge file on the first day, he’d thought that was the whole Hydra file until he read the top,
‘The Winter Soldier.’ It read. That file alone, was on Bucky.
One of the things he learned, was that Bucky had mostly spoken Russian, and his old activation code words were in Russian as well.
John remembered some of the old pictures they had in the file; old, and grainy, but one thing was clear. His eyes. They were as empty and unsettling as they were right now.
John swallowed the knot forming in his throat, he backed away, hoping he’d bump into something he’d be able to use to defend himself.
Bob continued to wring his hands together, looking between both of them with a nervous expression on his face, “Wha-what does that mean??”
“Stay behind me Bob.” John answered, keeping his tone low and not taking his eyes off of Bucky.
If he was right, he needed to figure out how to get Bucky to snap out of this before he did something he’d regret.
“Wait- wait- Walker what’s going on? What’s wrong with Bucky?” Bob asked, but doing as he was told and quickly shuffling behind him.
John ignored his question, not wanting to scare Bob more than he already was, “Bucky, do you know where you are right now? You’re in the Tower. This isn’t Hydra.”
Bucky didn’t reply right away, taking a few more steps into the kitchen, John could feel Bob looking at both of them,
“Hydra??” He repeated, the word itself seemed to scare him.
John knew that Bob knew about Hydra, one of the times he’d accidentally sent one of them to the void, he’d sent Bucky.
Bob caught a few glimpses of the memory he was reliving before they snapped out of it. None of them knew exactly what either of them saw, just that it was bad enough that Bucky had gone to his room for the rest of the night.
When he came out the next morning, him and Bob had talked alone for a while, presumably about what happened. Since then, Bob seemed to have a more in depth understanding of the little things that made Bucky uncomfortable, no matter how well Bucky was able to hide his feelings.
“You think he’s dreaming or something? Like sleep walking??” Bob asked.
“I don’t know.” John replied quietly, he thought back to the military briefly, he remembered all of the soldiers that had gone into shell shock from the things they’d witnessed.
They’d always just repeat simple things like, ‘You’re safe.’ And ‘Everything is okay.’ To them, small things to try and break them out of it.
“Bucky, whatever you think is happening isn’t real- you’re not in Hydra anymore, you’re safe.” John said slowly.
Bucky tilted his head, that’s when John noticed one of his hands was clenched in a fist, but his metal arm-
His metal arm was holding a gun.
It was the one Bucky usually kept on his nightstand. All of them had numerous weapons in their room (except for Bob) it was all of their ways of feeling a bit safer. A force of habit.
He was wearing a t-shirt and sweats, making his metal arm glint a little in the morning light, showing off the sturdy, deadly metal that might as well have been classified as a lethal weapon at this point.
“Ты моя миссия.” Bucky sounded more stern.
John wished Yelena or Alexei were here, they were the only ones who could speak Russian, the only ones who might’ve been able to get through to him.
Whatever Bucky said, it seemed to be his final statement, he started walking towards them, more determined now. John braced himself, there was no getting through to him now, not without a fight.
“Bob,” John said quickly.
He saw Bob look at him in his peripheral vision,
“Yeah-“ he sounded so nervous, it put John on edge, he had to get Bob out of the way.
“Run.”
He looked at him, surprised, but only for a moment before John stepped forward, stopping Bucky from getting any closer to Bob.
John rushed forward and immediately pivoted Bucky’s metal arm, which was raising to aim his gun, presumably at John’s head.
He pushed it aside and went to punch Bucky in the face, to his surprise, Bucky easily ducked out of the way, grabbing John’s arm and practically throwing him against the counter.
He turned around just in time to kick Bucky hard in the stomach, sending him flying out of the kitchen and into the living room.
Bucky sat up as John started walking towards him and immediately pointed the gun at him. John ran out of the way, hiding behind the kitchen island just in time. He grabbed one of their plates and whipped it behind him in the direction of where he thought Bucky was. When he heard the plate shatter against what sounded like metal, he guessed he aimed right.
Quickly, he ran out from behind the island and threw the hot kettle at Bucky, forcing him to block it with his metal arm. Giving John the chance to kick the gun out of his hand.
The gun went flying to the side, sliding out of both of their reaches. Bucky immediately ran for it. John tried to stop him, grabbing his arm, but Bucky didn’t hesitate to punch him with his other fist hard in the face before swiping his legs out from under him.
John recovered quickly, grabbing the back of Bucky’s shirt to pull him away. But as Bucky was pulled back, he used the momentum John gave him to elbow him with his metal arm. Stars formed in his vision for a moment before Bucky came back into view, already throwing his next punch.
It was clear John was losing, badly. He was fighting for his life right now, meanwhile it didn’t look like Bucky had even broken a sweat yet.
This confused him, he’d fought Bucky before, he’d won in a fight against Bucky before. Why did this feel so different?
John was able to kick Bucky back, away from the gun. He slide backwards, landing on his knee. Bucky glared blankly at him before glancing to his side, right by his foot was a broken porcelain shard from the plate John had thrown at him. Bucky picked it up, looking back at John.
Shit.
That’s when it hit him, this was so much different because he wasn’t just fighting Bucky this time, he was fighting the Winter Soldier.
When John had fought him before, Bucky wasn’t fighting to kill him, he was fighting to stop him.
But right now? The Winter Soldier only fights to kill.
Bucky swung the sharp ceramic shard at him, only missing his neck by a few inches. He threw a punch with is other hand immediately after, catching John off guard. The whole time, Bucky walked forward fast, forcing John to walk backwards.
He hit John again in the face, catching him off balance as he almost tripped over a side table. Bucky used that chance to swipe at him again with the shard, this time, he did get him, cutting a deep line right across his chest.
John yelled out in pain but tried to ignore the sting, he’d almost complete forgotten that he didn’t have his suit on, just his normal clothes that did absolutely nothing to protect him.
He dodged Bucky’s next punch and threw his own, but Bucky pivoted under his arm, creeping up close to him and swiping the back of his leg with the shard.
He walked out from under John’s arm and spun around, kicking him in the exact spot on his leg he’d just cut, knocking him to the ground.
John was about to get up when he heard the sound of the gun clicking. He looked up, Bucky had the gun back in his hand, too far away for John to reach him.
He stared up at Bucky in shock, he barely stood a chance against him. John had no idea how much Bucky had been holding back.
“Bucky please- you gotta snap out of it-“ He tried, he knew if he moved, with whatever state Bucky was in, he wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger.
John let out a nervous chuckle, “C’mon, I know you don’t hate me this much, even if you still pretend too.”
Bucky didn’t give him a reaction, instead he just took a step closer. John watched as he moved his finger to the trigger. Shit.
“Snap out of it Bucky c’mon-“ He knew how much Bucky would regret this once he realized what had happened.
Still no reaction. John held his breath, looking away and closing his eyes.
And then- the gun went off with a loud ‘BANG!’
He flinched, waiting for the pain, the shock, the darkness, whatever it is you felt when getting hit with a fatal shot but- that didn’t happen. He didn’t feel any pain.
He opened his eyes, looking back over at Bucky but instead, was met with something else.
Bob stood between them. His back to John. The bullet Bucky had just shot lay squished at his feet.
“Stop now Bucky.” Bob said, he still sounded scared, but not the same kind of scared as before.
John knew why, he wasn’t scared of Bucky anymore, he was scared of himself.
Bucky didn’t stop, he shot a few more times. John flinched at every one, still not used to one of his teammates being bullet proof.
Bob simply raised his hand, stopping each bullet just before they reached him. He let them all fall to the floor before slowly walking towards Bucky.
“You need to snap out of it.” He said, Bucky shot again, and again. Bob didn’t bother raising his hand this time, the bullets stopped anyways.
“Bucky-“ He tried to say, when the gun’s clip ran out, he dropped it quickly, Bob was close enough to him now.
He tried to throw a hook with his metal arm, But Bob was faster, he raised his arm to block it and as Bucky went to hit him in the face with his other hand, Bob caught it mid punch.
“I said, stop.”
That’s when John noticed the black beginning to fill the room. It felt like the world was caving in on them.
“Oh no-“ John said aloud.
Bucky was frozen, for the first time a bit of emotion passed through his eyes as he looked at Bob, like he was finally coming back to himself.
But the darkness only continued to slowly spread, both of them staying frozen.
John didn’t know what to do, he stared at them both in shock, Bobs back was still turned to him, but he could see the look in Bucky’s eyes, he looked scared.
“Bob?!” He looked over at the hallway, Yelena and Ava were standing there in shock at the sight before them.
Bob heard them too, it seemed to be enough to immediately snap him out of it. Just as quickly as it came, the darkness faded away. He let go of Bucky’s hand and both of them looked over at Yelena and Ava.
“What the hell is going on??” Ava said the confusion and worry prevalent in her tone.
They looked at the new arrivals, then Bob and Bucky looked back at each other.
“Bucky?” John asked as he stood back up, voice still uncertain.
Bucky blinked a few times, before stumbling backwards a bit, “What the hell just happened??”
He already sounded like he was back to his normal self.
His posture was a lot more slouched and relaxed, his eyes were a mix of confused and scared, which was infinitely better than the empty nothingness they were earlier.
John turned his attention to Bob, who was currently looking down at his hands. He walked over cautiously, trying to keep his steps light, but not silent, sneaking up on him was probably not the best move right now,
“Bob? You okay?” He said, trying to sound as non threatening as possible. He carefully placed a hand on his shoulder, softly pulling him to turn around.
Bob looked like he was in shock, when he made eye contact with John, he blinked a few times, his vision focused on Yelena and Ava, he saw how scared the looked. Then he looked back at Bucky. John saw his hands begin to shake.
“Oh no- no I’m sorry- I’m- I’m so sorry- I-“ He began to stutter out. Immediately Yelena rushed over, pulling him into a hug.
“No no it’s okay, it’s okay.” John heard her whisper.
Ava walked over, she looked at Bob, then Bucky, then John before silently mouthing to him, ‘what the fuck just happened??’
He shrugged, he wasn’t entirely sure what just happened either.
He walked over to Bucky, who was currently rubbing his face with his non metal arm.
“You okay Barnes?” He asked.
Buck was quiet for a moment, before finally saying, “I need to call Shuri. This isn’t supposed to be able to happen.”
All of them were silent, unsure of what to say or do now.
“Oh my god pancakes!!” The sudden booming voice made all of them jump.
They looked over towards the kitchen to see Alexei, still in his bathrobe, grabbing one of the plates from the counter and taking over half of the pancakes John had made and scooping them onto his plate.
“I thought I smelled pancakes in my dream!” He said happily, oblivious to the five people standing still in shock in the living room.
Finally, he turned around and looked at all of them.
“What? None of you want pancakes now? Their good! The smell woke me up!”
Bucky looked at him incredulously, “I shot my gun until the clip ran out but the smell of pancakes is what woke you up?”
Alexei shrugged, “In Russia, gunshots are like morning birds. But smell of pancakes? That is a welcomed surprise!”
From behind him, John could hear Yelena, head in one of her hands, mumble, “Oh my god.”