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Pepper wasn’t used to being lost in her own head. She wasn’t used to having the time. There was always something to do, someone to talk about, someone to follow. But she was off after someone else, leaving Pepper alone with her thoughts.
She was trying not to let it mean anything. OJ was already buddied up with about a third of the cast, so Salt talking with him couldn’t mean anything different, shouldn’t feel any different. She couldn’t comprehend it being different. In a way (a way that she wouldn’t let herself realize), it wasn’t.
Besides, Salt said they were sticking together, right? So obviously Pepper has nothing to worry about. She’d jump off a cliff for her, and she knew in her head that Salt would do the same. She had nothing to worry about. They already spent three challenges looking out for each other the whole way, so there was no reason that absence should feel so alar-
Her thoughts were interrupted by her tripping over something and falling to the ground. She brushed herself off and looked down.
Oh. It was just Taco.
She didn’t seem to react to being knocked over (still with that stupid plastered smile on her), so Pepper picked her up and set her down next to her. “Sorry girl, didn’t see you there,” she said, brushing a little dirt out of her lettuce.
Taco laughed in her childish way, and Pepper couldn’t help but be drawn in. She smiled and scooted closer to her on the grass. The company was welcome.
“So…what brings you all the way out here?” she asked.
Taco just kept smiling and stuck her tongue out.
Pepper sighed. “I guess I get it. Other people just doing their own things?”
“SOUR CREAM!” Taco shouted.
Pepper propped herself up on her arms. “Yeah, it’s not a bad thing. I can be on my own, I think. It just feels so…so weird,” Pepper shifted so she could lean on Taco. “Like, he’s nothing like her, you know? That’s my job. Why does she feel like she needs to talk to him when I’m right there? And she tried talking to him at the last challenge too!”
“FRIENNDSHIP!” Taco said, and Pepper turned to look at her. Maybe she was just not at her best right now, but she could have sworn that she saw Taco raise an eyebrow, like she was challenging her.
“...Yeah, I guess she just wants to be friends with him. You’re friends with OJ too, right? Maybe I’m just doing something wro-”
Pepper was cut off by Taco spitting out a lemon that hit her right in the forehead.
“Ow, hey!” But before she could get mad, she looked down and saw that same dumb smile. It was almost…endearing. “You’re right, maybe I am taking this too seriously.”
Taco’s smile grew wider (if that was even possible), and Pepper couldn’t help but smile in turn.
She let herself sink deeper next to Taco’s side. She didn’t fit next to her as well as she did with Salt, but maybe that was what made it feel so comfortable. “You’re really good at like, listening to me.”
Taco looked up at her, and her smile faded. The words weren’t meant to have any weight to them, but in her reaction, they did.
“I-I mean…I just…”
Taco settled in closer to her, sitting under her arm. She didn’t say anything, but Pepper felt like she got the message.
“It’s not her fault! I’m just not good at like, talking about things that aren’t gossip. But I thought she did like talking to me. She didn’t say anything to me after the challenge, she just went over to talk to him instead.” The word felt ugly in her mouth, in a new way that made her blood boil.
“SPRINKLES!”
“Exactly! I’m supposed to be her girl, her ride or die BCFF for all time! I’m supposed to be her favorite! I…I want to be her favorite. He hasn’t earned that like I have, right?”
Taco started trying to balance a lemon on her left foot, appearing to only be half-listening (if she was paying attention at all). After a moment, she paused, and scooted the slightest bit away from Pepper. Not far enough to be visibly different, but enough to be felt.
Pepper didn’t register the panic as it took control of her. “She can’t have a new favorite. I can’t lose her. I can’t do it alone. I don’t want to fall behind. I don’t want to be eliminated, on some stupid island where I can’t see her. Without her I’m…without her I have…” Her hands were shaking as she struggled to come up with anything.
“TACO! :D”
Pepper looked down. Taco was still there, like she hadn’t moved at all. She smiled, and everything she had been worrying about suddenly got pushed back. She let herself be silent for a moment, and Taco seemed to take that opportunity to lean against her. She had to hesitate, but Pepper carefully put an arm around her.
“...I guess I like, get what Pickle sees in you. You’re…nice to be around.”
“Pepper,” Taco smiled. If Pepper had been more awake, more focused, she might have noticed just how calm her name sounded.
She yawned. “Like, thanks girl. You’re not as dumb as I thought you were.”
Plenty of time had already passed, but Taco still didn’t want to move. Pepper was still leaning on her, even in her sleep, and there was no way to get out of there without disturbing her.
One friend is more than enough, she thought. But it was hard not to grow a fascination with the girl sleeping next to her. There was no logical reason for her to seek the attention of Salt (who was no strategist), and no reason for her to be soothed by Taco’s own (who shouldn’t appear to be one). It was no way to win the game, and it was fascinating.
Pepper roused in her sleep, snaking her arm tighter around Taco and pulling her closer. Taco tried to divorce herself from the feeling, but she couldn’t help but wonder if this was what Pepper was looking for. It was the least Taco could have done to try and offer her some reassurance, even though she feared she got too close to breaking her cover by doing it.
She took a cautious look around. It was dark, and the few people that were around appeared to be asleep as well. She knew none of them were the type to fake that.
She gently let a hand creep out of her shell to hold Pepper’s arm, and then immediately retracted it before the sensation had the time to reach her brain.
A strategist shouldn’t let herself develop a fondness like that.
Pepper would probably be out within the next few episodes anyway.