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late nights had been their thing since middle school.
zach, sleeping over for nights in a row, though there really not being much sleeping going on; greg pleading with zach to let him drift off earlier, though never actually doing it when given the chance. no matter what, they were up till dawn with one another.
that’s what best friends did, after all, spent lots of time together!
that experience starts to get muddled when you get feelings for your best friend.
realizing that he was gay had shaken him up enough, also being in love with zach only added insult to injury.
those late nights started to feel like more than just two bros staying up for deep talks. it started to feel more intimate, even if greg knew his feelings were most definitely one sided. though, sometimes, when those nights would get especially late, and maybe greg had had a few hits of whatever he cartridge he’d managed to get that week; he swore zach would leave lingering glances on him, making him feel like every feeling he had was being reciprocated the whole time.
when he finally got some rest and/or sobered up the next day, he came to his senses and reminded himself it was all one sided.
that’d been his experience of their habitual late nights since sophomore year.
all of which brought him here. summer after high school. zach in his bed, him on the floor, their usual setup. but everything was off,
greg was leaving for college tomorrow. this was their last sleepover at his house.
it felt wrong, to both of them. this had become so routine to both of them, they couldn’t imagine their lives without it. without each other. but that reality hung in the air between them, seeping into every short lived conversation they attempted to spark. it felt like some topic was waiting for them, something specific that needed to be addressed before the two could carry on with their night.
both of them had this feeling, and both of them knew what that topic was. neither wanted to be the one to start it.
the events of the summer clouded up the air in the room even more. they were unresolved, not talked about. all zach had done was pack for greg as an apology for all of his mistreatment over their last few months together.
everything combined was threatening to suffocate them.
“i can’t believe this is really the last one,” zach commented.
“…yeah,” greg responded, his words coming out dry.
heavy silence followed the single turn exchange. greg stared at the ceiling, still visible as zach left the bedside table light on until they were just about to sleep.
“…can we talk?”
“what? wh-, what do you mean, dude?” greg asked, confused, as if they didn’t both feel the tension.
zach sat up in bed, moving to the edge and sitting with his legs crossed. he patted the side behind him, prompting greg to come up and sitting next to him. greg hesitated for a moment, confused, but obliged.
“i’ve been a dick.” zach simply stated.
“..is this just about the summer-? what- what’s prompting this?” greg asked, still confused.
“yeah, over the summer, i’ve been a massive dick to you and that’s not cool.”
“it’s…it’s okay, man,” greg choked out. he didn’t know if he wanted to have this discussion right now. his heart just wanted one last normal night with zach, but he didn’t know if that was achievable anymore, or if it ever was. it seemed like they’d always been destined for their last day to be framed like this, awkward and tense.
“no, it’s not, and i’m sorry.” zach looked over into greg’s eyes. he could’ve sworn he saw a flash of yearning flash behind greg’s expression as their gazes met.
greg opened his mouth to protest zach’s apology again, but in reality, he knew he deserved it. “…thank you.” zach nodded in response.
the two both kept their eyes on one another’s, looking deep into each other. this was weird. still tense, but in a different way.
“…it…means a lot for you to apologize. i know that’s hard for you-“
“you’re really important to me, you know that, right?” greg looked back at zach, caught slightly off guard by the random affirmation.
“..yeah..? is everything okay, man?..” he anxiously asked. was zach about to drop some massive bomb onto him?
“yeah, i just…wanted to let you know.”
…
“…greg?”
“yeah?”
“you complete me,”
greg tensed up at those three little words. his mouth went a bit dry, staring back at zach, mouth slightly agape and trying to come up with a response.
“sorry- i just mean, like, uh, i feel- i feel like an actual person around you. not just- a problem. you don’t judge me like everyone else does, i don’t feel… un-humanized, or whatever. is it un-humanized? dehumanized?”
“dehumanized,”
“thanks- uh, yeah. i don’t feel like that around you. i just feel like- we’re two halves of each other, y’know? one can’t fully exist without the other, like the moon and the sun, or something,” zach accidentally being poetic and mushy like this was making greg’s head swirl with thoughts and feelings. thank god he was sober for this.
“i just, can’t imagine myself without you. no one else supports me like you do, gets me like you do..no one is you. man.
…do you…feel like that, too?” he hesitantly asked, looking at greg with a fear of rejection in his eyes. greg nodded.
“…yeah…i..i do,” greg responded, his throat tight and his face flushed red.
zach just gave a small nod to acknowledge the now admittedly shared feelings between them.
this night was different. everything felt different, the very air around them was different. greg’s room felt different than normal, these locks on each others eyes didn’t just feel like conversational eye contact, sitting so close their knees touched didn’t just feel like the closeness of over a decade of friendship anymore.
zach saw that same look of yearning he saw in passing wash over greg’s entire being. he was looking at zach like there was nothing more in the world he wanted than him.
his own eyes started to idealize greg in return.
“…zach?”
“yeah?”
“i’m in love with you.”
now it was zach’s turn to stare with his mouth open. though, that stare didn’t last long before zach grabbed onto greg’s zip hoodie, pulling him in and messily smashing their lips together. greg was quick to reciprocate. one arm quickly wrapped around zach’s neck while the other cupped his cheek, pulling him in further.
god, he’d wanted, needed this for so long. the way zach’s hands moved down to hold onto his waist almost felt like those years of pining were mutual, like zach had also wanted him all these years. the current situation would point to that, but the possibility seemed so foreign, greg had made that out to be an impossible situation.
whatever, he didn’t wanna think about that right now. he wanted to think about making out with zach, tentatively parting his mouth open. the opportunity given was gladly taken. the passion in everything wasn’t even sexual, it was all being powered by unbridled years of built up yearning.
greg slid his other arm around zach’s neck and pulled himself into his lap, wanting to be as close to him as possible. for being so inexperienced, it felt like zach had done this a hundred times as his hand moved up greg’s body, along his neck, lightly grasping onto his jaw to pull him in and keep him there.
the two continued to make out for 14
solid minutes, one for each year they’d been friends. they pulled back, meeting gazes again as they panted against one another.
“how long have you wanted to do that?”
“sophomore year,”
“holy shit,” zach whispered in shock. greg flushed with embarrassment.
“you haven’t liked me nearly as long. oh god. okay. um.” he hid his face in his hands, pulling at his own hair to get his feelings out. he ran his hands down and off his face before looking at zach again.
“i-im sorry, man, i shouldn’t have just dropped that and i-“
“im- im just…flattered. you’re- better than me, you’re too good for me, greg. you’re nicer than me, you’re more attractive than me, you’re less annoying than me, i don’t understand what i did to deserve that from you,” greg shook his head, sighing.
“zach, stop,” he rested his hands on zach’s shoulders.
“i think…we found each other for a reason. we are each others leagues-“ he stopped to backtrack. “or- uh- you’re my whole league, at least,” he didn’t want to assume zach liked him as much as he liked zach.
“…yeah, i think you’re right.” zach agreed. greg was a bit surprised, but just stared at him for another second before nodding softly.
“i don’t wanna go,” he muttered. “i’m gonna miss you really bad.” zach leaned in and pressed his forehead against greg’s, but in an awkwardly comforting way. it didn’t feel like some master smooth guy move, it had that clumsy, zach stone charm to it. it made greg smile a little, even in his melancholy.
zach didn’t say anything. he just closed his eyes as he stayed close to greg. it felt like the only way to express his feelings right now, and words didn’t want to come out anymore anyways. sometimes that happened when zach would get really emotional, he’d go from the biggest chatterbox in the world to completely nonverbal in a second. greg had gotten used to reading him from energy alone, or vague body language. this was that, and he felt it. he closed his eyes and leaned into zach as well.
the two sat like that for a moment before zach nuzzled his nose against greg’s and quickly kissed him, pulling him into a secure hug. greg didn’t hesitate to bury his face into zach’s neck and take advantage of the comfort being offered to him. maybe zach was leading him on the right path, it was better to just enjoy each others presence on their last night rather than to exhaust themselves with words and grievances. he chose to take that route.
after a bit, both fell asleep in each others arms.
🌑☀️
