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Flashes of blood thick and dark in colour. Thicker than water but lesser than oil. Potent and fresh staining the walls, and curtains. He remembers it seeping into the carpet, pooling and leaving that familiar red stain, an image that had been permanently etched into Ollie’s mind despite his many efforts. That and he couldn’t shake the smell. The devastating smell of iron, a painful lingering recollection of what he already knew lay before him in that cottage. He gathers himself at the thought. He knows the scene to expect. He goes to clasp the ring. It’s usually heavy around his neck, a consistent reminder of his love, his guilt and his loss. It’s not there.
He presses his palm to the door, every step weighing him down. He knows he’s going to find her lying there. He can’t remember the last time he had a dream like this. Suddenly, the door feels different beneath his fingertips. That same soft wooden feel, with flowers etched into the stiles, was now something more lavish instead, a deep burgundy, something hard. Standing tall before him was a manor, one he knew all too well. There’s an uneasy sensation gnawing at him, a pit in his stomach. He can’t shake the dread within him. He breaks the door open with brute force.
He half expects to see long brown hair, a yellow nightgown. Fear trickles down his neck, this was just a dream. And yet still possessed a terror within him that was so tangible. He doesn’t open his eyes, not at first, he already remembers the sight of Lucy the night she was killed. A memory that’s haunted him since. It’s been so long.
It’s then, he sees her. She’s not what he expects.
Soft blonde hair with red streaks, a red lacy nightgown. She’s pale and lifeless.
Cassidy Beaumont lay bloodied, splayed out before him on a stained carpet.
The uneasy fearful feeling suddenly a sense of panic, Ollie rushes to her examining her wounds before gently cradling her to avoid hurting her more. “Cass..” he whispers, at first in disbelief. There’s no response.
Cassidy was always so full of life, her rosy cheeks, sparkling golden eyes comparable to stars, all faded, all cold. He desperately tries to apply pressure, hoping to lessen the effect of her wounds. It’s not working. She’s bleeding a lot and it’s staining his palms. Ollie feels a hopeless sob rising in his chest. He’s unable to make a sound, there’s nothing he can do but be entirely consumed by an inescapable sadness. It was as if the world had just slipped through his fingertips right then and there. Cassidy was gone.
There’s a kitchen knife at her side, evidence of struggle. Cass never went down without a fight. “Why didn’t you run? Why didn’t you just outsmart him? Cass.. That’s what you’re good at.” Ollie murmurs weakly, tenderly caressing her cold cheek. “You could have done that- that’s what you’ve always been good at.” he chokes back a sob. He didn’t cry often. But there was something that triggered him seeing her like that, helpless, limp in his arms and so cold. He’d give anything for her to just smile up at him right then and there. Aching for her reassurance, a sign of life.
“Cassidy, please.” Ollie pleads desperate, pressing his forehead to hers, a final attempt to reach her. It was no use. He knew it was no use. There’s a note placed conveniently in her palm. He doesn’t go to read it. He knows who it’s from. There’s a sudden fiery sense of anger, and then there’s light, warm familiar lamplight in fact.
Ollie wakes in a cold sweat, heart pounding and panting for air.
Cassidy propped up by the pillows next to him, reading a book by the lamplight startles at the jolt.
“…Ollie?” there’s a hint of confusion, and primarily concern in her tone as Ollie stirs beside her. She shuffles closer, gently cupping his face in an attempt to ground him. “Hey, hey.. It’s okay.” she breathes, helping him sit up. He immediately tugs her into a tight embrace, engulfing her in her arms. Cassidy startles, stunned.
“Cass, you’re okay!” he pants, gripping her tighter, burying himself in her hair, taking her all in. Her scent, her frame, the way she softens in his embrace. She’s warm. She’s reactive. She’s alive.
Cassidy chuckles quitely, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?” there’s a small tentative smile playing at her lips. Fond, but undeniably riddled with concern. His heart was racing, she could nearly hear it so close to his chest. “Are you okay..? Did something happen?”
Ollie loosens his grip, relaxing ever so slightly as he’s pulled back into reality. He momentarily examines their surroundings. Everything is homely, familiar. The windows are sealed tightly with curtains drawn, there’s books piled up on a desk on one side of the room. Everything smells vaguely of cinnamon. When he withdraws, he presses his crown against the bed’s headboard and lets out a sigh. “Just a bad dream love, nothing to write home about.” he reassures, reaching to stroke her cheek beneath this thumb. The recognisable rosy colour of her cheeks returned. That was a relief. Cassidy relaxes against his touch but isn’t entirely convinced by his dismissals. She stays close by his side, shuffling and adjusting to lean comfortably against his arm.
“Ollie.. Your heart was racing..” she frowned. Ollie swallows.
“Yeah, sorry I just got a fright.” he murmurs, his thumb circulating the skin of her shoulder. “I’m okay Cass, seriously.” he promised. “It was just a bad dream. I’m fine.”
“Happens to the best of us.” Cassidy replies, offering him a sympathetic smile. She pauses for a moment, chewing her bottom lip, and Ollie can already tell she’s thinking of what to say next.
He humors her. “What is it then?” he hums, the amusement in tone audible. Cassidy straightens, surprised— as if he’d read her mind.
“I- no, it’s silly, it’s nothing.” Cassidy utters quickly, shaking her head, there’s heat visibly rising to her cheeks.
Ollie raises a brow and Cassidy immediately gives in.
“Okay, okay..! I was just thinking of what I could say to make you feel better, you know?” Cass continues, fidgeting.
“I’m listening.” Ollie muses, “And for the record, I already feel a whole lot better just looking at you.” he adds, opting to tease her briefly. He has to fight the smirk that plays at his lips the moment she reacts in a flustered manner, bright red and speechless. Just as he’d expected, just how she always was. Ollie could tell she was probably unsure on whether or not to scold him or play along. He wasn’t entirely lying though. Cassidy just had a way of making people feel better, himself included.
Cassidy exhales through her nose with a huff. “Anyways!” she shrugs off, “I remember when I used to have nightmares about the monster in my closet-”
“The monster in your closet?” Ollie scoffs, Cassidy sends him a glare.
“Yes. Very serious, trust me!” She insists, to which Ollie can’t help but chuckle.
“Sure.”
“You just don’t get it-”
“Oh believe me, I do, I was the one who had a nightmare, remember?” Ollie grins.
She knows he’s trying to wind her up, she laughs softly, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable.”
“You love it.”
“I do.” Cassidy hums, reaching to squeeze his hand, her expression fond. Ollie feels himself smile back.
“Anyhow, back to the monster.”
“Right, the closest manifestation.” Ollie rolls his eyes fondly.
“Hush.” Cassidy giggles, gently nudging his shoulder. “Whenever I’d wake up scared.. Well, I used to cry a lot… If I’m being honest.. And Martha could only do so much consoling in a night. B-But I got pretty good at grounding myself over time! I knew I was safe and that’s all that mattered.” as she lets go of his hand she reaches to caress his face. “So I’m here to remind you of the same thing. We’re safe. You’re safe. Nothings going to happen to us, okay?”
Ollie leans into her touch, letting out a sigh. He hopes it’s relief but part of him is not entirely convinced, there’s an eeriness in knowing his greatest fear is still out there, lurking, haunting. A confrontation waiting to happen. He recollects the image of Cassidy laying there, bloodied. He wouldn’t let that happen to her, not again. He swallows thickly.
“I know.” he slowly agrees, tilting his head slightly to kiss the inside of her palm. “I’m alright Cass seriously.” he reassures her again as she withdraws. She levels him with an uneasy expression to which he raises a brow.
“Okay.. If you say so.” she mumbles, pressing a hand to his chest and leaning in brushing her lips against his. Ollie kisses back with a slight smirk at first, tracing his fingers over the line of her jaw.
Her mouth is soft, warm and familiar against his. Ollie tugs her closer with a hum and she is quick to melt against him. “I love you.” she murmurs against his lips.
“I love you too.” He breathes as they each pull back. “But it's about time you get some rest.”
“Are you sure?” there’s a hesitancy in the way she speaks. Ollie already knows she’ll likely dwell on this for a while. Cassidy was always worrying about something or another, it was equally stressful as it was endearing at times, but she really did care.
“Yes, Cass. As long as there’s no monsters in our closet I think I’m good for tonight.”
“Okay..” she yawns, burying herself in his chest. “If there is, I’ll fight them off for you.”
“I don’t doubt that.” he chuckles in response.
He stays like that awhile, pondering as he stares at the ceiling, running a hand through Cassidy’s hair as she sleeps soundly on his chest. Even with time, guilt clings to him. He tries not to remember Lucy. But Cassidy brought new light into his life, a love quite like no other. He vowed silently to protect her with his life. Anything to prevent her from enduring that terrible fate, the dream a bitter reminder.
But right now she was breathing, slightly clutching his shirt and he’s reminded that she smells like roses and parchment. She’s peaceful, she’s safe. That’s relief enough for now.
As Ollie feels his eyes grow heavy, he pulls her even closer.
He makes sure to hold her a little bit tighter that night.