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Homura Akemi was the devil. It’s what she told Incubator. There was no doubt about it.
Her friends viewed her as a being of pure, unfiltered evil. She did, after all, pull Madoka from the heavens and disrupted time itself, causing chaos. A demon was the only way to describe her, really.. They could never understand her reasoning. Could never see her love for Madoka Kaname the same way she does. What Homura did to Madoka would have happened eventually. It was building up with every failure. She had waited so long for that moment.
Madoka wasn’t happy as a Goddess. That sweet yet intimate moment between them in the field full of houstonias allowed Homura to see that Madoka didn’t want to go away. She didn’t want to disappear and be forgotten by her loved ones. She saw the scars of the other magical girls Madoka bore on the porcelain skin of her arms when she reached through a window to hold her. She missed her arms, the warmth of her hands that always seemed to calm her down.
She remembers what it was like to first meet Madoka. Homura was different back then. She was meek, quick to cry, and didn't know how to stand up for herself. Madoka was the first person she felt genuine care for. The way Madoka protected her and cared for her while she fought witches. She thrived in Madoka’s love, no matter how undeserving of it she felt.
Homura knew she’d do anything for Madoka. Even back then, when Madoka's body went cold and limp in her shaky grasp, when she decided she’d save her, no matter the cost.
“I wish I could meet Miss Kaname all over again. But this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to be strong enough to protect her.”
She would still remember the way her soul gem looked through her tearful eyes, and Kyubey’s piercing gaze as she clasped the ice cold gem where her life would lie.
She remembered rewinding time, and how she trained to become a stronger magical girl alongside Madoka. She remembered Sayaka becoming a witch for the first time, Mami Tomoe’s grief stricken panic as she tearfully killed Kyoko and tied up Homura. Claiming how they all had to die to avoid becoming a witch. Homura didn’t understand back then, but she does now. She remembers how Madoka saved her life by killing Mami. It hurt her more than it didn’t to see Madoka had fallen to her knees and sobbed after losing her friends, one being by her own hands that were formerly clean.
Homura would have been content to become a witch and be at Madoka’s side. Despite her tears, she was happy for them both to smash, break, and pound the world into dust. Until there was no more sadness, no more pain. That was until Madoka selflessly placed a grief seed onto Homura’s dark and clouded soul gem, rather than using it for herself. She watched in despair as Madoka asked her to go back in time, her dying wish was to save her from being tricked by Kyubey. Begged her to kill her in that current timeline so that she wouldn’t become a witch and become his energy source. Homura’s shaky hands pulled the trigger of her gun, aimed at Madoka’s fading soul gem, which was once a bright pink as she held it up for Homura.
Homura went back in time. She failed to prevent Madoka from becoming a magical girl, resulting in Madoka’s death. She went back in time again, and again, and again. She met Madoka over and over. She watched Madoka die hundreds of times. She stopped caring for what anyone thought of her. Her goal was the only thing that kept her going. She had to save Madoka, it was the one thing she wished for.
The final time she went back to save her, she collapsed. She begged Madoka for the answer to changing her fate, as if she would know.
Homura decided to fight Walpurgisnacht by herself. She likely would have died in the process. She was fine with that, really, as long as Madoka was safe.
That was until Madoka came outside in the storm. Her pink hair and look of fierce determination stood out against the solemn environment. It was almost like she wasn’t aware of the fact that she’d never see her family again. She was so sure of her actions when she made a contract with Kyubey. To gain the ability to erase witches before they were born, past, present, and future.
“That’s the only thing I want, it’s what I wish for. Now, grant my wish, Incubator!”
Homura begged, pleaded with Madoka to not disappear, to not leave her. She was selfish, wanting Madoka to be in her presence forever. Madoka apologised. She promised to see her again, and tied her bright ribbon into Homura’s hair. She then left, while Homura screamed in anguish, her throat burned from the sheer force of it all.
It didn’t take long for Homura to discover she was in a labyrinth. She accused others of being a witch. She eventually realised in despair that her grief turned her into a witch. She didn’t know how, since Madoka eradicated witches. Tears of red would stream down her face. Her head split in half. Blood and brain matter would spill out for the world to see as she cried in agony. Her labyrinth was absolutely stunning. It was unlike any other. Even the Incubator was shocked.
Soon, as her body lay upon her bed of flowers, Madoka came for her. The Goddess’s beauty was startling. She apologised for taking so long ,with a soft look of guilt written into the smile on her face. Homura opened her eyes, she smiled back, before her hands gripped Madoka’s wrists. Her soul gem turned an awful colour. Her friends watched in horror as Homura split Madoka apart, while she begged for her to stop.
Homura rewrote the universe. Madoka’s happiness was her only thought. She felt proud with the knowledge that she made the emotionless Incubator feel fear and confusion. He didn’t understand the reasoning behind Homura’s actions.
“More passionate than hope, much deeper than despair, love.”
She made his kind take over the burden Madoka once had. She saw her friends afterwards, they were angry. They were puzzled. Sayaka’s witch stood proud behind her while she glared daggers at Homura. She claimed Homura had no right to disturb the heavenly principles and split Madoka apart.
Homura was no longer a transfer student. However, Madoka was. Madoka was timid, she made herself look smaller. Homura looked at the shell of what was once a confident girl. She resembled how Homura once was with her mannerisms. It wasn’t her intention to ruin Madoka. It was merely to keep her safe.
Madoka almost awakened her powers as a goddess once again. While she was in the hallway with Homura. Homura was terrified. A wave of sadness and horror washed over her when she realised that Madoka would likely hate her one day. She realised Madoka was destined to become her enemy. She undid the ribbon from her hair and walked over to Madoka. Returning the favour of tying it.
“It’s fine. I don’t care. I’ll keep wishing for a world where you can be happy.”
That was all Homura wanted.