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The gentle flickering of the candle captivated Morgan. The warm orange looked soft and silky, and he couldn’t help but think that the world was cruel to make fire look so pretty. If he listened to his impulses, he would gladly reach out and feel the softness of the flame with his fingertips. Thankfully, and despite the late hour, he was still aware enough that touching a candle with his bare hands was the worst idea he could have had that week. Besides swinging Falchion around in Lucina’s tent to get rid of a nasty bug. But that was an outlier.
He felt Yarne move to stretch his back with a yawn. It was late, and their skirmish with bandits in the late afternoon had been more exhausting than expected. He had forgotten to take into account the potential presence of archers in the forest.
Morgan sighed, shifting so the strain in his neck hurt less against Yarne’s lap. His fur was soft under his cheek.
“Gold for your thoughts?” His friend said, putting down the book he was reading. He had recently discovered that reading eased his anxiety a little.
Morgan sighed again “I’m a bad strategist.”
Yarne patted his shoulder “As far as I know, you’ve kept all of us alive today.”
“Yes, because I’m a good tactician. But not a good strategist. I shouldn’t have asked my mother to let me plan this fight.”
There was a small silence, during which Morgan took a long breath so he wouldn’t dwell on what he could have done right. He couldn’t change the past; well, he could, that was the reason of their very presence in this world right now, but he doubted Naga would be okay rewinding the day just so he could do things differently.
Well, her protégée had been involved personally, so maybe it would be worth a shot.
“Are you still worried about Nah?” Yarne eventually said.
Morgan buried his face in his friend’s lap “Yes.”
“She doesn’t hold it against you, you know.”
His voice came out muffled from the fur “That doesn’t make me feel less guilty.”
“It’s not the first time she’s been targeted by archers, and it won’t be the last. She knows this.”
He groaned and lied on his back, observing the heavy hessian of the tent “I know that she knows, that doesn’t help! If I had come up with a better strategy, she wouldn’t have been hurt in the first place!”
Yarne frowned, seemingly confused “...This is very unlike you to dwell on the past. Usually you’d say “what’s done is done” and you’d make sure to not make the same mistake again.”
Morgan snorted, making a face at the fabric ceiling “Oh, trust me, lesson learned.”
The Taguel chuckled to himself “I guess it’s normal to worry a bit too much about your girlfriend.”
His beast instincts kicked in just in time so Morgan didn’t knock his jaw when he suddenly sprang up, red-faced.
“My what?”
Yarne blinked in confusion. Just as Morgan was about to complain that it wasn’t nice of him to make fun of his crush, he gasped loudly “Gods! You forgot!”
Morgan froze on the spot “I forgot what?!”
His friend slapped both hands on his mouth, as if it would somehow stop the truth from spilling out of it “Crap! It was a secret!!”
The young man couldn’t help but feel betrayed “What do you mean you had to keep secret something that I forgot and that is rather important?”
Yarne caught one of his ears and fidgeted with it, an awkward smile on his face “Sorry.”
Morgan took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to regain composure “Are you a hundred percent sure that this is true? Nah and…” He blushed hard, unable to finish his sentence. Nah and him? Together?
His friend looked down at the tip of the ear he was toying with “I, uh, yeah. I was there when you confessed.”
Morgan averted his eyes as well “Oh… And… I guess it went well?”
A chuckle “She was kissing you before you even finished your sentence.”
“Oh, gods.”
“Well, you started over like four times so…”
Morgan flopped on the side, Yarne’s book bouncing gently on the cot as he did so “This is not the trait I wished I’d inherited from my father.”
They remained silent for a few seconds. Morgan was desperately trying to process that conversation as best as he could. It was getting harder by the day to hide his massive crush on Nah, hence his inability to keep a cool head when it came to her safety. But knowing that his crush wasn’t one sided, or at least used to be, was totally different.
He sighed, rubbing his cheek with the sleeve of his coat in a vain attempt to chase the warmth out of it “Who asked you to keep it a secret?”
Yarne brought his knees to his chest “Nah.”
Morgan leaned on an elbow to look at him “What? That doesn’t make sense.”
“When we found you”, his friend explained, staring in the distance “Cynthia came back to the camp first to tell Nah. Lucina had been worried that seeing you all of a sudden and learning at the same time that you had amnesia would…” He sighed. “Nah was terrified she had lost you, you know? You were the last one to go through the Outrealm Gate, according to Lucina. We weren’t even sure you were alive so…” He remained silent a few seconds, gathering his thoughts “Luci thought that it was safer if she was warned beforehand.”
Morgan looked down, pinching his lips “That explains the cold treatment I got when we met. She barely said hello then vanished inside the camp.”
Yarne shrugged “Put yourself in her shoes for a second. Wouldn’t that hurt you if you reunited with your lover but they have totally forgotten about you? I admire her resilience, I would totally have burst into tears at the sight of you.”
The young man snorted “You have, actually.”
His friend blushed “I was relieved to see you, alright! I’m a sensitive bunny.”
Morgan rolled on his back and closed his eyes. He didn’t know how he would have reacted in her place. It must have been heartbreaking for her. Lucina had taken the right decision, and he was grateful to his sister for having taken action to avoid an awkward reunion.
“Why did Nah ask you to not tell me about this?” Morgan eventually asked.
Yarne crossed his legs “She gathered all of us that evening and asked us to pretend you both were just acquaintances. She didn’t specify why, though. We just respected her wish.”
The prince sat up and leaned down to grab his boot “I should go ask her.”
Yarne pulled him back by the hood of his coat, making him fall flat on his back. He looked up at his friend in confusion.
“Morgan, it’s night time. She’s going to kick you out if you barge into her tent asking for explanations at this hour.”
He opened his mouth to protest but no word came out. Yarne was right. He really ought to put himself in her shoes and proceed with tact and gentleness.
“Sleep on it,” his friend added. “You’ll see tomorrow. What’s one more night?”
Morgan pouted “A lot, considering the circumstances.”
“Trust me, it won’t change much and you’ll feel better tomorrow.”
Their eyes met; Morgan had to admit that Yarne could make very convincing bunny eyes when he wanted to. He sighed, and promised to get some shut eye before confronting Nah.
--
Morgan woke up with the sun, and was among the first people to have breakfast in the mess tent. His best friend had been right; sleeping on it proved to be a good idea. He still didn’t know how to broach the subject with Nah, but he had come to the conclusion that there was one person in this camp who could understand his predicament.
Once done with his meal, he made his way to the master tent, where all the decisions making and strategizing were done. It was still empty, but his parents would undoubtedly be there shortly. Morgan observed the maps spread out on the table. He had placed the small wooden pieces himself there himself only a day ago. He grabbed the carved Manakete and observed it. A little N had been carved underneath, to differentiate it from Nowi’s piece.
The tent flap opened, and Chrom walked in “Oh, good morning Morgan. I didn’t expect to find you here.”
“Good morning, Father,” he replied as he put the piece back on the map.
His father walked to him, gently wrapped his arm around his shoulders, and kissed the top of his head “Can I help you with something?”
Although Morgan had initially forgotten about him, he was thankful that Chrom had immediately shown affection towards him. Lucina always looked awkward whenever he hugged her, but that was because she was not really used to physical displays of affection. Morgan, on the other hand, was more of the cuddly type.
“I wanted to ask Mother something,” he replied.
Chrom grabbed tone of the figurines and observed it absentmindedly “She’ll be there in a few minutes. Maybe I can help?”
“A hug would be nice.”
Chrom chuckled and pulled him into a strong embrace. It felt very nice indeed.
“What’s bothering you?” He eventually asked. When Morgan remained silent, he stroke his hair gently “Is it because of yesterday’s battle?”
He shook his head “I’ve made peace with that.” And it was true. “It’s more of an… amnesia-related issue.”
“Ah, I see,” Chrom replied, then let go of him as his wife entered the tent “There you are.”
“Good morning, Morgan,” Robin said as she kissed her son’s forehead, then left a peck on her husband’s lips.
“Our son wanted to have a chat with you,” the Exalt explained, then made his way towards the exit “Vaike wanted me to spar with him this morning, see you later.”
Robin waved him goodbye, then started removing the wooden pieces from the map. Morgan watched her do, wringing his hands. How to broach the subject?
“I can see the steam coming out of your ears,” his mother said as she leaned against the table, arms crossed and an amused smile on her face “What’s the matter?”
“I-” he started, hesitating until his eyes fell on the carved Manakete behind her “It’s… a bit complicated.”
She smiled encouragingly “I’m listening.”
“How do you…” he interrupted himself. Finding a proper way to formulate his thoughts was harder than he thought “How would you react if someone from before suddenly reappeared in your life?”
“You mean, from before I joined the Shepherds?” She looked up pensively when Morgan nodded “Well, I suppose that they would have a lot to tell me. I’d certainly ask about what kind of person I was, or if I had any dreams in life.”
“And what if they told you that… they are your partner?”
She blinked, then frowned “As in, my spouse?”
Morgan nodded.
She held her chin and looked down “That would be a very delicate situation, for sure. A worst case scenario type of situation, even.” She made a face “That certainly would be extremely awkward.” She looked at him, a light frown on her face “But I assume that if you came to me first thing in the morning to ask me this, I assume that it’s not just curiosity. Did something happen with your friends?”
Morgan felt his cheeks heat up and he started fidgeting with his fingers again, the tips of his boots suddenly seeming more interesting than his mother’s inquisitive stare. He had been caught; not that he was exactly planning to hide it, but he had thought that he had been delicate enough when bringing the subject on the table.
“I’ve, uh, learned yesterday that I, well, uh,” his voice became quieter “that I was in a relationship. Back in my world, I mean.”
When he looked up at his mother, he saw confusion on her face, which morphed into a sly smile.
“Really?” she commented “Who’s the lucky one?”
“Do I really have to tell you?” he whined.
“Sweetheart, you can’t expect me to not grab the line you’ve just thrown at me,” she replied, skipping closer until she nudged his shoulder with hers “Come oooon~”
“She doesn’t know that I know!” he squeaked “This can’t get out of this tent, Mother!”
Robin put a hand on her heart and lifted the other solemnly “I promise to keep it to myself.”
“Not a word to Father either.”
She nodded, and he could see in her eyes that she was being serious “I swear it.”
He sighed loudly, and leaned against her, resting his head against her shoulder “Yarne told me that Nah and I were in a relationship. More like, he accidentally let it slip.”
Robin chuckled “Which, I assume, is not a bad thing? You’ve had your eyes on the girl for a while now.”
He groaned and tried to muffle his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands “Gods, am I this obvious?”
“Well, this is obvious to me because I’m your mother and that’s what mothers do.”
Morgan hummed noncommittally and didn’t say another word. A small silence stretched between them.
“I suppose you’re going to tell her that you know?” Robin eventually said.
“Yes, it’s driving me crazy.” Morgan admitted, looking down. “I don’t understand why she decided to hide it from me. We could…” he took a couple of seconds to think “I don’t know. Get to know each other again. Or something.”
“It’s best if you ask her directly rather than try figuring it out by yourself,” his mother commented, pulling him into a side hug and kissing his temple.
“I don’t want to scare her away,” he lamented. “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore?”
She hummed pensively “You know, you don’t have to ask her to resume where you left off. You just want to know her reasons. Once that’s clear, then you can decide what to do onwards. If anything, I doubt she has doused her feelings for you. I mean, that would be hard to do, especially since you interact every day.”
“That must have been torture for her,” he mumbled.
She shrugged “We can’t assume, just talk to her.”
Morgan nodded weakly, and she pulled him into a bigger, warm hug that comforted him more than he wanted to admit.
--
“Morgan?”
The young man lifted his head from he tome he was busy deciphering. Having felt his mind start to run in circles, he had decided to focus his mental energy on something useful instead of mulling over his feelings. Nah had been busy the entire morning anyway, and he hadn’t managed to get a hold of her at lunch.
His heart almost skipped a beat the sight of her.
“Hi, Nah,” he said as he closed his tome. “What’s up?”
“Your mother asked the village’s blacksmith to fix a couple of our weapons, and she wants us to pick them up.”
“Oh, sure thing.”
While going on a slight detour to leave his book in his tent, they crossed paths with his mother, who was walking in the other direction while chatting with Maribelle. His cheeks got warmer when she winked at him, although he was grateful for the opportunity.
They walked in silence through the forest. There was a lump in his throat from the nervousness, and he kept on fidgeting with the sleeves of his coat to not wring his hands. Nah looked at him from time to time, which added to his general uneasiness. This was his opportunity, and they were already halfway through the forest. He had to get a grip, for Naga’s sake!
“What’s troubling you?”
Morgan almost tripped on a tree root upon hearing her break the silence so abruptly “M-me? I’m fine.”
She stopped walking and raised an eyebrow at him, unconvinced. He avoided her gaze, chewing on his lower lip.
“Sure thing,” she said flatly. “And Yarne is the epitome of cool-headedness.”
“I’m fine, really.”
Why on earth couldn’t he let the words out? His stomach was in knots. How could this be more terrifying than fighting a dozen Risen unarmed?
Nah’s expression softened “It doesn’t hurt anymore. You can stop worrying about me, Brady patched me up in no time.”
“I…” bringing up that matter again didn’t make him feel any better “I’m still sorry for that. I should have taken this likelihood into account. You got hurt because of me.”
She shrugged “And you reacted quickly enough so I got backup right away. What’s one more scar?”
He didn’t want to be the cause of her scars. That was the problem.
He took a deep breath and looked at her in the eyes “You won’t get hurt because of me anymore.”
She giggled “You sound terribly solemn.”
He frowned “Because I am.”
She studied his face for a couple of seconds, seemingly looking for some kind of hint to his enigmatic sentence.
“You’re not being honest,” she commented. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“I promise I won’t hurt you anymore,” he repeated, red-faced “And I don’t mean only in battle.”
She frowned in confusion “I’m not sure I understand.”
The anxiety was starting to make him queasy at this rate “I’ve forgotten about you.”
“Morgan,” his name sounded so gentle, rolling on her tongue. She put her hand on his wrist, stopping his fidgeting “It hurts, yes, but we’re all learning to navigate through this together. You’re still you, even though you don’t remember. I’d rather have you forgetting about us than being dead.”
That made him feel slightly better. It gave him courage, enough courage for him to finally say the words that had plagued his mind all night long.
“We used to love each other, didn’t we?”
Nah let go of his wrist as if she had been just burned. She took a step back, her eyes wide, her ears dropping ever so faintly.
“Yarne told me the truth,” he added.
She looked down, all trace of her good mood now definitely gone “I told him to keep his mouth shut.”
“It was an accident,” Morgan explained, “he didn’t mean to.”
A silence stretched between the two of them, solemn and slightly awkward. He needed his answers, but if it was at the price of losing her, then he’d rather never know.
“I apologize again”, he said. “I hate the idea of me being the cause of your pain.”
“What did Yarne tell you?” she asked at last. Her voice sounded so small, so fragile, so far from the Nah he knew.
“That we were together, that’s all I know.”
Better keep the embarrassing confession part to himself.
“I can barely imagine how it must have felt”, Morgan said to prevent a new silence.
“Terrible. I wouldn’t even wish it upon my enemies.” Nah replied, although the smile that stretched her lips didn’t feel sincere.
“I… I don’t know if you… You know…”
“Had a change of heart?”
At last, she found the will to look back at him. Her eyes were wet with tears, but none of them had dared roll down her cheeks yet. She looked beautiful. He hated being the one who made her cry. He wanted to hold her in his arms. He felt that if he touched her, she would disappear forever.
He was tiptoeing around her and their respective feelings, painfully aware that each word that would now come out of his mouth could change them forever.
It was terrifying.
“I tried,” Nah whimpered. “I thought it would be easier for both of us if we forgot about it.”
He took a tentative step in her direction. Thankfully, she didn’t flee “But why? You didn’t have to hide it from me.”
“I didn’t want to force you into anything,” she whispered. “I couldn’t… I just couldn’t bring myself to force you to…” At last, she started crying “I thought it would be better if I let you get to know all of us again, without imposing my feelings on you…”
She broke into sobs, and Morgan felt like he was about to cry too. For once, he did not listen to his brain and embraced her, tight. Nah wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed, so much that it became uncomfortable. He didn’t mind. He let her cry on his shoulder, and rested his cheek against her hair.
It felt strange, being aware that it wasn’t the first time he hugged her, but it felt all brand new all the same.
“Nah”, Morgan muttered when he felt her starting to calm down after a few minutes.
She nodded against him, indicating that she was listening.
“I understand that you wanted me to start on a clean slate,” he said. “That was very thoughtful of you, even though it hurt.” He took a deep breath to settle his nerves “But I assume you noticed how I became friends with everyone again. Cynthia often says I’m still true to myself, and with that in mind…”
He nuzzled against her neck, red-faced and unable to look at her in the eye. He could feel he warmth of her skin through the ruffles of her turtleneck. He didn’t trust his voice, he didn’t even think it would come out loud enough for her to hear because of his fear.
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you again.”
He stopped breathing, each sense on edge, trying to notice the most imperceptible reaction from her. Only a couple of seconds passed, but they felt like an eternity to him, until she shifted against him, breaking their embrace just enough so she could look at him. Her face was red from her crying, but another shade of red – from embarrassment this time – colored her cheeks.
“You- What?” she muttered hesitantly.
He smiled gently, amused “Can’t believe your ears?”
“Is this true?”
Gods, the way her eyes shone with hope would have been enough to sweep him off his feet had he not already been bewitched by her. He removed his right glove and wiped the tears off her cheek with his thumb.
“Do you believe me cruel enough to lie to you?”
And with that, she started crying again, but of joy this time. She smiled brightly at him. It was the first time he remembered her smiling to him in this new world.
How lucky he was, to have so many first times with her twice in his life. He really was-
Nah’s lips on his short-circuited any further attempt to make a coherent thought. His brain barely had the time to register it that it was already over, and she was smiling at him again.
“I love you, Morgan,” she said.
He smiled back at her. This time, he was the one who leaned in.
And he made sure that he would never forget anymore how it felt to kiss her.