Chapter Text
Apollo was not having a good day.
Sure, things have been hectic since State v. Misham, and he refused to take a chance to breathe since if he didn't do work, he would have to take care of other things. Taking care of other things means himself, which means being in his head, which would then mean thinking about him-
Apollo was not having a good day.
He had woken up and got to work 20 minutes later than he was supposed to (Trucy didn't care and Mr. Wright surely didn't even think twice about it, but it was the principle of the damn thing!), he couldn't get his hands to stop shaking for whatever reason, he kept spilling his drink.
Work wasn't great either, as much as Apollo wanted it to be. It was just a bunch of paperwork from the last trial which he did not want to touch, so he couldn't stay on task.
Trucy noticed how he flinched at every loud noise, every hard ‘S’ sound furrowed his brows, every time Mr. Wright sighed too heavily in disappointment? he started to bounce his leg against the floorboards–she was watching his every move–but he couldn't bring himself to care.
He was so overwhelmed that he couldn't think straight. His bracelet squeezed his wrist.
Frustration came soon after.
Trucy tried to ask what was wrong, and all she got was the usual “I'm fine, Truce.” Even if it's from one of his favorite people, he didn't want to talk much at all.
Thankfully, she understood.
“..Alright then. Tell me or Daddy if you need something, okay? You can leave if you need to, Polly.” She smiled at him in not quite pity, but in sympathy. Understanding.
She then left the room, to Apollo’s quiet, guilty relief.
All he could hear was the buzzing in his ears, the sound of his heavier breathing, his heartbeat, the annoying lights on the ceiling. Her gentle words echoed in his ears like a curse, making him feel stuck.
He was still shaking so bad that he couldn't pick back up his pen without his handwriting being absolutely awful.
He knew this feeling. He knew it intimately. He knew that if he didn't leave, he would either yell, cry, or have a complete breakdown in front of his family? The only people who actually cared for him without leaving him behind? The one who broke his golden admiration and trust and mended it to his liking, and his daughter who knows every little detail without saying a word? coworkers.
He tried to get up from his desk, but then got lightheaded. His breathing sounded rougher, heavier than before. Fuck.
They can't see this, they can't see me like this, fuck, shit I am screwed. I'm fine. I'm Apollo Justice and I am fine. Get out of here. Go. Get out–
He tripped on the chair, tumbling around the Agency before he just hit the floor. He distantly realized how he couldn't properly breathe, and he had something wet falling from his cheeks.
He coughed, then a sob came out. Damn it. He couldn't breathe, he could barely see and hear without wanting to rip his carefully-styled hair out, he couldn't feel, he didn't want to feel. He just wanted to get the energy back in his body to move–
“Oh shit, Apollo…”
All he felt was warmth near him, and someone talking. He couldn't hear them over the sound of his sobbing and coughing and him scratching his ears, why couldn't the noise stop–
Something, someone, took his hands off of his ears, and replaced them with silence. He stopped for a second, feeling very confused. He looked up.
Mr. Wright.
He felt his body freeze. Tears fell, and he shook uncontrollably. He felt so cold, and hot, and overwhelmed, and underwhelmed all at the same time.
He couldn't look in his eyes. He couldn't look in those warm, worried, manipulative, comforting eyes.
“Apollo, don't worry about anything else, just breathe for me, alright? It'll be okay.”
He tried to read his lips, to hear his voice through the noise cancellation–which wasn't even that good, but it was so much better than before–and he tried to do what he was told.
All he could hear was the same tone he used when Trucy is upset and is ready to explode from hundreds of feelings all at once.
And all he felt was an uncontrollable sadness. Yearning. He wanted. He wanted to feel loved, and comforted. Safe.
He just sobbed, and he couldn't breathe. He looked up at him in a panic he hasn't felt since, since–
Don't leave, don't leave please don't leave I can't–
He felt lightheaded again, falling forward into the arms of a man that felt both like a cage and like a home he never got to have.
He just sobbed, and Mr. Wri–Phoenix– held him, rocking him gently like he would a young kid.
He clutched the back of his hoodie, trying to ground himself with cheap cologne, grape juice, soft fabric warn down with time, gentle words and even gentler hands that rubbed his back in all the right places that made him relax.
“It'll be alright bud, just breathe. Nothing can hurt you here. It's all over. I gotcha.”
He hated himself for thinking that this felt like home. He hated that he still trusts Phoenix after using him to get that man in jail, he hated feeling so guilty and used and betrayed, and he hated that he looked at Phoenix that way in the first place.
This is a safe space. One that won't kick him out one way or another. But all he felt was the yearning for someone to care and that he was pathetic for even needing the help and feeling like this in the first place.
Coming into the room to see Apollo having a breakdown wasn't on Phoenix’s bingo card today, but he immediately felt his stomach drop to the floor when he saw his son, child, poor poor child- employee on the floor, visibly hurt and upset.
“Oh shit, Apollo..!”
He ran over to Apollo immediately, blocking the light from in front of him, and trying to get his attention without touching him without his consent. He knew not to touch someone having a breakdown without them knowing. He made that mistake before, and got punched in the gut.
He recognized the type of upset from how he had his hands gripping his hands over his ears, and how his face looks like every little bit of input from anywhere hurts.
It was painful to watch. He had never seen Apollo in this much pain, not even crying. And no, Phoenix isn't counting the tears after a trial was complete. Those were glad tears, not painful ones.
He realized something could help. Noise cancellation headphones. They do wonders for Miles when he comes over to visit and he gets overwhelmed. But he couldn't leave Apollo to himself in pain.
Then, he realized he had another plan.
Trucy.
He got out his phone, and texted her in a rush.
[11:49] sos
[11:49] truce<3: what do i need to do?
[11:50] noise cancelling headphones
[11:50] trucy<3 reacted with a heart
Trucy raced out of her room with headphones in hand in a minute's time, and as soon as Phoenix carefully grabbed his hands, she put the headphones as gently as she could over Apollo’s ears.
She looked concerned, but Phoenix gave her a ‘wait a second’ look. She nodded, and went to grab water for him from the kitchen.
He gave his attention right back to Apollo. And what met his eyes made him feel so guilty and like this was his child that he failed. He wasn't, but he fits in like an oldest son would at the Wright Anything Agency.
He looked at him, frozen with fear.
Apollo was as still as a statue, looking like he was prepared for something to happen to him because Phoenix had found him like this.
He heard how Apollo was barely breathing, and how he looked terrified.
“Apollo, don't worry about anything else, just breathe for me, alright? It'll be okay.” He tried to comfort him, using the experience he has from taking care of his favorite people. He ran his thumbs across Apollo’s hand.
He watched as he crumbled, just crying and crying and crying. At one point, he started to fall forward from how hard he shook and sobbed, and Phoenix finally wrapped his arms around the boy.
That's all he was right now. A boy with nowhere to go, and with only a few select people to help him. Phoenix counts himself to be very lucky to even be considered as one of them.
He just held him, rocking back and forth to try and soothe his pain. Phoenix always had a habit of rocking back and forth, no matter what he was doing. Hopefully, it helped Apollo ground himself.
He rubbed his back, comforting him with soft words, and treating him like he would his own daughter, holding him like he's the most precious treasure in the world.
“It'll be alright bud, just breathe. Nothing can hurt you here. It's all over. I gotcha.”
That just made Apollo hold him tighter, wanting someone to just be there. He sobbed into his jacket, tears soaking through it. He clutched Phoenix’s hoodie with all of his strength, burying his face into his shoulder.
This kid has been through so much. Recently, though, it had been all his fault.
Phoenix got disbarred because of forged evidence given to him by Kristoph Gavin. He tried to stop him by taking advantage of Apollo, the new recruit of Gavin, to put him in jail one way or another.
But by doing that, it put Apollo out of a job, put his idol and boss in jail, and it changed how he saw Phoenix forever. It hurt, but it had to be done.
Now, he regrets ever hurting this young child in his arms, all because he couldn't let this one case go.
After a while, Apollo gained his senses back, and took several shakey, big breaths. Tears weren't falling as often, and he looked exhausted.
He half-expected him to claw himself away from his embrace, denying this ever happened. He didn't push away, though.
“Apollo? Are you feeling better?” He asked, directly looking at him so he can know to read his lips instead of trying to hear.
He nodded a little. “Do you want to tell me what happened? It doesn't have to be now, or ever, but we are all here for you, okay? I..I know I hurt you these past couple of months, and I don't expect you to ever forgive me. But, me and Trucy care for you, and we want to help you.”
Apollo looked conflicted. He tried to whisper, but he flinched. He mouthed, “Later.” Phoenix nodded, and smiled at the kid. Apollo nodded back, looking as grateful as he could.
He looked so tired.
Trucy was nearby the whole time, not knowing what to do. She looked lost. Apollo never was like this, so she didn’t have prior directions to take reference from.
Phoenix contemplated what Apollo could need, what he was okay with right now, and what to do about Trucy.
Gotcha!
“Hey ‘pollo?” Phoenix tapped his shoulder. He hummed, moving his face a bit from his shoulder.
Make sure he can understand what you are doing, don't overwhelm him again.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
A double hum with a shake of his head.
“Do you want to stay here with me and Truce?”
A single hum again, putting his forehead against his shoulder again.
He hummed back. “Can Trucy come over here?”
He froze again, but then sighed heavily. He nodded, removing one of his arms from around Phoenix. He raised it towards Trucy. Then he waved her over.
She barreled towards him, putting his water bottle on the floor, then hugged both him and Apollo.
“Are you feeling better?” A hum, and a small smile looked back at her.
Looking at them, you would never suspect they just met just a few months ago. They look like they have known each other for years. They look like siblings.
She asked him small questions just like Phoenix did, and he hummed back each time. She leaned against him, too, and Apollo wrapped his arm around her tightly.
They can't know yet. It's her decision. But why does it feel like another betrayal to keep it from them?
…Not right now, but soon. No matter what she wants.
Trucy broke his thoughts by humming a song that Phoenix recognized from somewhere. Apollo hummed it back, closing his eyes.
They hummed back and forth like it was their own language, and eventually, Apollo fully relaxed against the both of them, falling asleep.
When Apollo woke up hours later in a room he had only been in a select few times, with a blanket and pillow that he had never seen before, he had been beyond confused.
All he knew was that it was almost completely quiet at the WAA, and the only light that was on was the lamp on Mr. Wright’s desk.
He felt less like exploding, and more like himself. He inhaled deeply, exhaled, then remembered what had happened.
Ah fuck. They saw me. But…he helped? Mr. Wright didn't care that I wasn't at my best, and helped me through it? He didn't leave?
..God, how am I going to explain this?? Will they understand? That hasn't happened in years! At least, around people..
While he was stuck in his head, his skull pounded with a headache. Great. It was probably because of all of the crying…
He hummed to himself, then tried to breathe through the headache. He got up out of his chair, stretching out, then shook his head.
“I am Apollo Justice and I am fine, I am Apollo Justice and I am fine-”
“Polly!” Trucy found him walking out of Phoenix's office, and tackled him.
“Oh!- Hey Trucy.” He felt her squeeze her arms around his waist, and put her head on his shoulder. He smiled, confused, then hugged her back.
“Are you okay? Feeling better? Daddy put you in here because you didn't like the lights and the noises in the other room so he laid you on the couch to sleep.” He nodded.
He paused, trying to comprehend all the words that his brain just registered. “Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry that…that whole thing happened. I didn't mean t-”
“No, stop. You couldn't help it.”
Apollo sighed. “I know, but still! I hadn't even touched that paperwork for the Misham trial! I wasted today just because I couldn't handle myself.“
Trucy looked at him, and for once he couldn't understand what her face meant.
“Polly. That paperwork doesn't matter right now. You just need to rest. You are what I am worried about.”
He paused. He didn't know what to say to her.
“Apollo, just please rest. Me and Daddy are really concerned for you. You've never done this before, and you never cry like this.”
He sighed, feeling easily frustrated. “Truce, I just had a bad morning. Everything was so overwhelming I just couldn't handle it. That’s all it was. Can we please let this go now? I'm embarrassed as it is-”
“Just let us help you!” She insisted, raising her voice slightly, “This isn't normal, and you need to rest and not worry about work-”
She pulled on his arms, making his skin prickle at the touch. He breathed in, out, in- don't freak out again, she just cares, she's not mad - why is she yelling-
All of a sudden, she let go.
“Truce?”
She looked and realized what was going on, like she broke something valuable. “I'm sorry, Polly…I didn't mean to...”
It took him a second to realize, but it clicked that she saw how tense he had gotten. He breathed carefully.
“You didn't do anything. This isn't your fault. Just, don't grab me like that right now, alright?” He looked her in the eyes, then looked away from them immediately.
“Okay, Polly.” she understood.
It was tense afterwards. Apollo hated it.
“I'm sorry. Thank you for helping me. I owe both you and Mr. Wright for dealing with that. I'm gonna go home.” He walked out of the office, grabbed his things off of his desk, and ignored Trucy on the way out of the door. It's too much.
He walked home, it felt like an eternity of hell, then as soon as he walked through the door, the mask that he wore cracked off all at once.
He slammed his front door, then slid slowly to the ground. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't be around the Wright's without feeling useless guilt.
Fuck. Why can't I just be normal for once…
He starts to cry again, throwing his little suitcase across his floor, making it fly open, and thankfully not many papers flew out of it.
He held his head in his hands tightly, and sobbed.
Why are they sticking around this long? Why aren't they leaving? They might as well kick him out.
Why do they want to help me? I'm a fucking mess! I love Trucy, and Mr. Wright is so different than I thought he was, so ....why?
It's useless.
Apollo was having the worst day of his life.