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4 seconds.
That’s all it took.
One pull.
That’s all it took to stop Jinx.
When she jumped, he pulled.
4 seconds to stop her from making a mistake.
If you had told Ekko that he would be saving his enemy/former best friend/first love, he would have laughed in your face.
“I’m tired of talking.” Jinx pulled the bomb again and fell down, her hands over her heart, Ekko’s own breaking as he saw her skin peeling away. He pulled the cord again.
“No!” 4 seconds. That’s all it took. Took them back to the start: Jinx on the edge, Ekko beside her.
Ekko wiped off blood that trickled down a scar by his forehead, not long before his eyes locked with Jinx’s. “You know, I learned from someone…” He paused, his mind reeling back to the other world he was in, “very special…that no matter what happened in the past,” Ekko looked down at the Z-Drive, “It’s never too late to build something new.” Ekko’s finger trailed across the glass of the device, as his voice scratched lightly, “Someone worth building it for.”
Jinx turned her head to look at Ekko and glanced at the device in his hand. Her pupils danced to follow along with the miniature monkeys and cymbals dancing inside of the glass: animated and lively.
Just like she was a few days ago.
With slow, groggy footsteps, Jinx walked towards the table of her workshop and slowly and surely deconstructed the chomper bomb in front of her. Her black stained tears trickled down her face with every footstep she took. Her hands unscrewed, snapped and pulled apart every gear and piece from the bomb.
A beautifully perfected weapon, imperfections and all, slowly broken down piece by piece.
Ekko paid attention to her silence, silently in relief that she wasn’t near the ledge anymore, yet saw her going through motions as if it was nothing. He took one step forward, and brought it upon himself to talk to her. To try and reconnect.
“Y-you cut your hair.” Ekko pointed out, not caring if Jinx had a response ready for him, as she was still looking down at the table. “J-Jinx, I… I just wanna talk to you.”
Jinx chuckled darkly, “I’m tired of talking, Ekko.” Her fingers clenched the desk with every might, her eyes trailed down at the dried blood along her cuticles. She had the sudden urge to peel it again, peel her entire skin off. Because why could she feel Ekko’s eyes on her? Why did she keep feeling Ekko watching her every move?
“I’m tired of fucking talking.” She harshly turned around and glared back at Ekko, looking deep into his eyes with nothing but anger and hatred, “I hate you.”
Ekko’s worried expression remained on his face, even at Jinx’s words.
Jinx’s voice trembling with every word, “I h-hate that you were never there. I hate that you saw me as a monster.” Silco’s voice whispered in her head.
Break the cycle.
They never loved you
Jinx slapped her head to stop the voices, stopping Silco, “I h-hate that stupid smile of yours, cause it’s always in my dreams. Fuck.” Jinx let out a strangled sob, a curiosity left wondering why Ekko wasn’t getting angry. Why wasn’t he leaving? Why wasn’t he trying to finish the job Jinx couldn’t do? Why was he still looking at her as if she was the only thing that mattered?!
“I-I hate your s-stupid eyes! Damn it !” Jinx scratched the side of her neck, “Why do you look at me like that?!”
Ekko brought his hand through his locs, tugging slightly at them in frustration, “Like what, Jinx?!”
“LIKE I MATTER TO YOU?! LIKE I NEED SAVING?! WHY?!” Jinx’s footsteps rumbled with every little step, her anger fuming through her body, “Hate me.”
Ekko’s face looked perplexed. He laid his Z-Drive on a nearby table, and looked back at Jinx’s eyes, slightly taken aback at the emotion that came with them, “What the fu-”
“Just hate me.” Jinx sobbed out, “It will make this whole thing better. Just hate me. Just like when I was on that bridge with you.”
Ekko felt himself about to cry as well, his heart breaking even deeper when Jinx spewed out those hateful words at him. His frustration was growing deeper and deeper with every minute. And with the last bit of might in his body, he simply said.
“No.”
Jinx’s eyes widened at the boy’s blunt and direct answer, she chuckled darkly once again, and looked at him, “Come on, Ekko! Remember, you hate me!” Ekko’s face remained stone in front of her, frustration with pity blended together, “Do you need a fucking reminder?! I killed my brothers and Vander, I worked with Silco. I hurt your friends!” Even with every single word, Ekko stood his ground, he didn’t cower at the sight of her.
Jinx’s eyes spilled out more stained tears, “Why do you still care?! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!” Jinx pounded her fists onto Ekko’s chest, making him step back slightly from the force of Jinx’s palms. “I KNOW YOU HATE ME! JUST SAY IT! WHY DO YOU STILL CARE?!”
Ekko shouted out, “BECAUSE I NEVER HATED YOU!”
Jinx briefly stopped sobbing at Ekko and looked at his face for any lies in his eyes. There was none. He confirmed it, he doesn’t hate her.
So why was it so hard for her to believe?
Jinx’s fists pounded on Ekko’s chest again and sobbed even louder, her loud sniffles and snot filling up her nose. Her clogged nose and heavy breathing, restricting her lungs from letting out any healthy air. Jinx’s fists knocked on Ekko’s chest again, “Y-you have to hate me.” she let out a heavy sob before speaking again, “I have to hate you.”
Ekko’s heart couldn’t take it anymore, slightly, he wound his arms around Jinx’s body. She immediately felt the warm contact pierce her cold skin, and pushed away from it instantly, “STOP!” she shouted, as she walked back to her desk, instantly missing Ekko’s warmth.
His warmth.
Even when they were kids, when she cried because of a fight with Mylo or frustrated at an experiment, his warmth would be the only thing that would ground her. When she cried or felt cold in such a dark and bitter place, Ekko would always be there to hold her hand, as his smooth palms would rub against her scarred ones.
When his arms would tighten around her body, she felt safe and secure, like she wanted to stay there forever.
Now if she stayed in his arms, she would have missed him too much, and she couldn’t have that.
Jinx’s eyes stared down at her hands again, scarred and bruised from inventing, fighting, and picking at the dead skin. Oh, how she craved for Ekko to hold them, to rub his warm palms against her cold hands. How she craved for him to kiss her scars…
Did she really just think that?
No, no, no. She couldn’t think that. It was better for her to push away than for him to pull her back to him.
All these emotions were too much. They overclouded her. Her mind could run straight, certainly not with him here.
“I could never hate you.” Ekko spoke once more.
That was it. That was the final straw.
Jinx turned around and her body began to just grow… tired. So tired and lifeless. She slowly lowered her body to the floor, her limbs tumbled down to the hard ground of her hideout and laid on her side. Her arms were raised next to her face as they extended away from her body. Her legs tangled with each other as she looked further into space. Ekko’s eyes followed her every movement as she went down to the floor. He didn’t know what it was, what the reason was, what was pulling him towards her. Sometimes it was him pulling, now she did.
Ekko followed her and laid down right next to her, staring deep into her eyes. Since he didn’t have his trustworthy Firelights jacket with him right now, the cold temperature of the floor sent an immediate shock through his skin. Seeing Jinx like this: broken, vulnerable, and aching, he wanted so badly to reach out to her.
Not to fix her, no.
He never saw Jinx as someone who needed fixing.
All those imperfections, the ones that she deemed made her terrible and worthless, he admired them all. Even when they were kids, when Jinx’s inventions would come out torn and mangled, or when she tried to fight like Vi, but couldn’t. Ekko didn’t care that Jinx was the most perfect being in the universe.
He didn’t care that Jinx was imperfect or caused jinxes or made fuck ups.
To him, all those imperfections about her are what made her beautiful.
He loved every version of Jinx, because he knew at the end of the day, he would fall deep in love with her over and over again if Janna granted him the ability to.
Loved?
No, love.
He loves her.
Jinx looked deep into Ekko’s warm eyes. If you looked closely, you could almost see the little faint yellow streaks in his brown eyes as they streamed down his pupils. Kinda like how his words streamed into her brain, causing her to go into a deeper frenzy about her feelings. But still, she couldn’t get this thought out of her mind, what did he mean that he didn’t hate her? Why? After everything on the bridge, after she pushed him away when he came to rescue her from Silco, there was no ounce of hatred in his body.
“Ekko,” Jinx croaked, “I can’t…I’m not perfect for you. I-I’m not.” Ekko looked sadly into her eyes once more, “Maybe in another world, where you find another me all perfect and not completely insane, y-you can be with her, ya know. Because she’s what you need. Not me.”
Ekko let out a tear that he didn’t know was on his face and quickly wiped it away. Slowly, he reached his hand and wiped a stray tear from Jinx’s face. He stared deep into her pink eyes, and could detect faint lines of her former blue eyes pooling around her irises.
“Jinx. You’re the one that I want.” said Ekko. Jinx’s body shivered as Ekko’s palm cupped her cheek, wiping any stray tears, and there she felt it again. That warmth she always craved. She couldn’t have this.
She couldn’t have any of this.
She doesn’t deserve Ekko.
But still, when he looks at her like that, she feels like she’s floating, instantly pulled into a daydream where her body slowly levitates from the ground as Ekko lays on his back, watching her float above. She reaches her hand out, wanting so desperately to feel him on her fingertips. Maybe fix up his smudged face paint, or wipe the blood from the scar on his forehead.
“Ekko,” she faintly calls, her voice breaking down as she floats further and further away from the boy she loved.
Love.
No, she loves him. She always did. Even when he was a scrawny little boy, hence the name “Little Man”. Now a young muscular man, with handsome features, captivating eyes, and a smile’s brightness that would surpass the sun. Alas, she was pulled out of her daydream, back to reality, where she still laid down on her side, Ekko still looking at her as if she was the most beautiful being in the universe.
She got up quickly, her body gaining a quick sense of adrenaline as she walked back to her desk, looking down at the deconstructed bomb in front of her, along with spare parts and gears. She saw them as something worth building. Something with value. She let out a deep breath and exhaled, hoping it would calm down the frantic thoughts that clamored around her head.
“You don’t understand, Ekko.” Ekko sat back up and watched Jinx as she continued to speak, “Everyone I love, ends up leaving me.” Jinx sobbed and quickly rubbed her tears away so Ekko wouldn’t notice, “First Vi, then Silco, and then Isha.”
Ekko grew confused at the new name, “W-who’s Isha?”
Jinx chuckled lightly, “You would have loved the little kid. S-she reminded me of myself.” Jinx’s heart broke even further when she thought about Isha, and how she yearned to spend more time with her.
“E-Ekko, I-I can’t take it anymore,” cried Jinx, “Everytime I end up loving someone, I just end up hurting them or they just disappear. I-I hurt Vi, I hurt Silco,” Jinx’s labored breathing came down as she said the last few words, “I hurt you. I-I’m a monster.”
Ekko stood up and remained in the same spot he was in, “Jinx, I-I… you’re not a monster.”
“Stop saying that! You think so, I KNOW YOU DO!!!” Jinx screamed out.
Ekko responded back, “Damn it, Jinx, you don’t see it do you?!”
“See what?!”
Ekko took a deep breath, ready to say whatever came up to his mind, not caring if Jinx was looking at him,
“You are the best thing that happened to me, but also the worst thing that happened to me.” he slowed down his breathing, but couldn’t because of all the emotions that were swirling towards him: anger, frustration, longing. “The day I met you, perhaps I would’ve preferred that this day never came, where we would be in this hideout screaming at each other.”
Jinx kept looking down at the desk, her reflection visible to her, and continued to hear Ekko’s words.
“J-Jinx, this between us, right now, is the worst blessing but the most beautiful curse, because at least I can see you again and I don’t have to start thinking about if you are gone forever or not.” Ekko’s eyes started to pool with tears, and he cried out through his speech, “From you, I should move away, but I can’t, Jinx, I just can’t.”
Ekko usually would keep his tears suppressed, but the sight of Jinx and the nature of the situation they are in, he can’t shy away.”
Jinx spoke up once again, “Well, you know what they say. Be close to your dearest friends but also, even closer to your opponents.”
“But my greatest enemy is you, Jinx.” Ekko sobbed out, “I-I can’t. Not like this.”
Jinx could hear Ekko’s sobs in the background, they were because of her. She knew it, the second she let Ekko come back, the second she let Ekko and his relishing warmth back into her presence, she was bound to break one of them.
You see what you did.
He’s crying because of you. He needs to run away from you.
The worst is you and him.
“Just go, Ekko!” Jinx shouted back at him, her back still facing him, “I-If you’re still looking for my voice, forget me,” she sobbed again, “The worst is you and me.”
Ekko grew more and more worried and devastated. How could she not understand? How could he make her understand that all he wanted was to be with her again? “NO!” Ekko wiped his eyes once again, his tears slowing down for now, “Can you not see that I love you?! Can you not see that I’m here right now, just wanting to see you?!”
“I CAN’T!” Jinx banged on the table, the gears clattering along the metal workspace, “I can’t love you again! Don’t make me love you again!” Ekko grows confused at the young girl’s confession.
“I can’t act like I-I don’t love you!” Jinx yelled out, finally getting it out of her chest for the first time. Always thinking about it, but never saying it out loud.
“I fucking love you, okay, Little Man? I don’t want to, but I do. I always have.” She was too empty for tears now, all of them completely dried out. Instead she just stood there, her hands over her heart, trying to stop the rapid beating after confessing her true feelings to Ekko.
Little Man.
The Boy Savior
Her greatest enemy, but her greatest love.
She could hear his footsteps approaching her, she still remained in her spot, not looking to move from there anytime soon. And slowly but surely, Ekko’s muscular and warm arms wound around Jinx’s body, his right across her shoulders and collarbone, and his left coming across her with his hand holding her hand above her heart.
Ekko tightened his hold on Jinx, and Jinx released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, but there…
There it was…
That warmth she was always afraid of for the longest.
The warmth that she had when she and Ekko were children.
The warmth that she wanted when she was broken down or alone in the darkness.
The warmth that she craved with her every night, but always pushed it away because she was afraid of losing him.
The warmth that she loved. It seeped through her body, traveled through her skin and veins, and made its way into her heart. Jinx never knew her heart could feel this way, but she would want it to feel like this everyday with him. She leaned her head back slightly, just for a little more contact with Ekko, if that was even possible. His cheek leaning against the untamed and uneven cuts of her bright blue hair.
Her back muscles, sore from fighting and running, immediately loosened as she could feel Ekko’s warm chest and stomach pressing against her. The coldness and bitterness that she felt only a few minutes ago was replaced by warmness and love.
And for the first time in a while, she let out a faint smile, and even though Ekko’s eyes were closed, relishing in the woman that he loved, he faintly smiled as well, sharing this moment with them. Even though Jinx was covered with scars, bruises, grime, and dirty tears dripping on her body, Ekko didn’t care.
But it didn’t make sense, he should hate her! He should loathe her! In her dark and dreary world, Ekko’s hugs brought back a light she didn’t know was possible.
Whether as Powder or as Jinx, she felt at home.
He hates you
‘No he doesn’t.’ Powder thought, canceling out all the voices in her head
He’ll leave you
No he won’t
This will be the last time you see him
Maybe, but I’ll cherish it forever
He’ll never love you
I am worthy of love.
They knew they had to leave soon. They knew the battle they had to enter into. They knew they had to leave and go fight. But they were going to do it together.
“We started here,” Ekko spoke, breaking the silence between them, “and if this is where it all ends,” Ekko tightens his hold on Jinx once more, “Can we have one last dance?”
Jinx nodded slowly, while Ekko’s hands tightened around her own, right above her heart, as if Ekko traveled deep into her tortured dark soul and ignited her heart again.
This might be the last time they see each other again.
This might be the last time they’ll ever fight again.
This will be their final dance.
But they’ll have to just pretend like it’s the first time.