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Rin Penrose looked around the throne room of her infernal palace, and let out a long-suffering groan.
How had it all come to this?
Well, she did know what happened. She'd hopped into the Underworld on a little errand for Gin - hey, at least it wasn't Tesco’s - delivered her package to a grumpy old devil, wandered off free of that burden at least, and of course promptly got lost without the little box pulling her down the right streets in the confusing maze of urban anarchy here. Which was fine, time wasn't really a thing here so she'd either make it back for her stream or too late for anything in her current life to matter at all. And with that as it was, what reason was there not to do a little sightseeing too? It wasn't every day one got to gawk at daily life in a whole other dimension and all, and there wasn't even a sun to bother her down here! Just the cozy red glow that seemed to come from nowhere in particular. Really, she had no idea why this wasn't a tourism hotspot yet besides the oppressive atmosphere, the barely veiled hostility of the locals and the occasional horrific wails in the distance.
Of course, wandering off had just turned out to be the first terrible decision of the day. The place had been weirdly quiet - not that she really had anything to compare it to, but the few devils, demons and dead out on the streets had all been far too busy to bother her as she ambled along. It hadn't been long before her feet had started to threaten a general strike, though, and just when she'd come up to the open gates of some gaudy hall too. One would figure a place like that to at least have some cozy seats, no?
That, naturally, had been big mistake number two. There'd only been the one big chair inside the empty hall, and between the plush-looking upholstery and her feet being on the cusp of launching a separatist movement, what choice had she had when there hadn't even been anyone around to warn her it was going to be a terrible idea? She obviously couldn't be blamed for sitting in a strange chair in a dangerous place, that'd just be ridiculous right?
Anyhow. To cut a long story short, she'd planted her butt in the chair, it zapped her with something, she'd zoinked out, and when she came to someone was jabbering her ear off about how glad they were a true heir had finally arrived to rule the Second Circle. Because of course the universe wasn't just going to cut her a break for once. No, she'd managed to inherit the Demonic Throne of Lust. Just like that.
Yeah, you heard that right. She'd been devil royalty all along if she was supposed to believe her new attendant, but now she'd gone and claimed a throne too. This throne out of all of them, as if she hadn't been dealing with enough already before finding out the entirety of the actual sin itself couldn't put a dent in whatever the hell was wrong with her.
Okay, so maybe it should have been a sign how she'd always known she was a prince, the way skies were blue and grass was rumoured to be green. Maybe it should have been a little more obvious that she wasn't just the descendant of some old-timey sword-swingers, but boy did she have some questions for Gin! Whenever the hell she figured out how to get back out of here, that was.
She glanced at her new attendant, still primly waiting next to her. Tall, blonde, and with what was probably a decently attractive figure besides, y'know, the edgy horns, wings and tail people were probably into anyway. Yuzuki Choco, she'd called herself? The name sounded vaguely familiar, but her memory was three pinballs pinging through the void on the best of days and this had definitely stopped being even a tolerable day hours ago.
Anyway. She'd introduced herself as her first servant once she was done gushing over her, but it wasn't like she'd just let her go if she asked nicely, right? She could do a little begging, probably, but one of the few things Gin had bothered to be very clear about was that she didn't stand a chance in hell if she went and picked a fight with a true devil. Not that she stood much of one against the average human either, but those at least wouldn't burn out your soul and erase any hopes of reincarnating as a marketable plushie. No, trying to force her way out was out of the question even before considering the fact that she was a frail Victorian child with zero fighting ability besides annoying people to death.
But with looks like that, would she even imagine a poor little human trying to run from her? She wouldn't, right? So if she got the drop on her, maybe she could get lost in the city again before she used whatever bullshit magic superpowers a devil had, or she ran out of breath, or she tripped and just made an idiot out of herself without even getting out of the room. If she just kept that positivity coming, she'd be home with Snebby and her sons in no time at all!
She was so screwed.
She let out a long breath, and Choco noticed her eyes on her. She coyly covered her- oh, for fuck’s sake. Was that all these people ever thought about? Rin turned up her gaze in despair, to a ceiling best described as a cross between renaissance paintings and high-effort hentai. It was kind of impressive, really, in an awful taste but great execution way. They sure hadn't spared any effort on the details of- never mind, she did NOT need to see that, actually. Good lord, what kind of evil mind- right, that would have been an actual devil with an unfortunate amount of artistic talent. She should have seen that coming here, really.
‘Rin-sama?’ Choco asked, the honorific somehow translating fine, and she reluctantly looked back down.
‘Yeah?’ she said, absently wondering how that even worked. British certainly would have been on theme for the official language here, but hey, at least she didn't get shit for her accent for once with this magic translation stuff. Bright sides, Rin! Plenty of bright sides to look on while you're literally stuck in hell!
‘Were you thinking of that?’ Choco asked, her smile all but screaming some unidentifiable kind of danger.
She frowned, confused. ‘Thinking of what?’
‘Alright then,’ she smiled, the threat come and gone. ‘Please don't mind me, Rin-sama.’
Seriously, thinking of what?
But Choco was already checking something on her phone, so it didn't look like she was going to get any answers there. Oh, well.
Wait. Phone?
Lo and behold, she was indeed holding - and using! - an all too familiar little black rectangle. Rin fumbled out her own, holding her breath as the screen lit up. Phone meant phone service, and phone service meant she could call someone to get her out of this mess!
Zero bars, but that was more disappointing than surprising really. Even if Vodafone operated in hell where it belonged, there was no way the roaming fees would be anything short of pre-emptive daylight robbery. She fumbled through the network settings, quietly thanking Juna for insisting she at least figure out the basics herself after shoving the phone at her one too many times, and found what she was looking for: one available network, conveniently labelled Hellecom. She tapped it, and a dozen pages flashed in quick succession. She was pretty sure she saw at least three ‘Hot sinners in your circle’ before they disappeared into the mists of her tab count, but then, finally, she got to a website that slowly, slowly loaded a login portal straight from the turn of the millennium, with an annoyingly cheerful little horned face asking for her Valued Customer Login Credentials.
A password. Of course it needed a freakin’ password.
She looked back at Choco, and scraped her throat. ‘Um, would you be available to…’
How did she explain she had no idea what to do here without tossing away the last tattered shreds of her dignity? It wasn't as if it was her fault she'd always bullied Ben into doing it for her!
Come to think of it, was that why she'd kept getting those weird streaming subscriptions? Maybe that made more sense than every phone just coming with Sky Sports and some app with nothing but shows in Korean pre-installed.
Choco turned back with a graceful sweep, the top buttons of her blouse somehow already undone as she leaned in with that red flag of a smile again and gently cupped her chin. ‘Well, Rin-sama, how could I say no when you're asking so nicely?’
Ah. So that's what it was.
She really did hate this place.
‘No, that's fine!’ she quickly said, holding up her hands between them. ‘I'm just trying to sign up for a phone plan, and I'm not sure how it's supposed to work here,’ she admitted, deflating. ‘Would you, um, mind helping me with that?’
‘Oh, I see,’ she said, fixing her blouse with only a small flash of disappointment. ‘But I'd be happy to, of course. I do hope you didn't agree to anything just yet? Those Eighth Circle rascals do adore the human tricks they've been picking up recently.’
‘No, I'm still on the first page,’ she said, shaking her head as Choco leaned in again from the side, her chest only marginally less intrusive pressing up against her arm. ‘I'm pretty sure I didn't find a way to screw it up yet?’
‘Well then, why don't you start by heading over to the registration page?’ she hummed. ‘It's the button right there under the login.’
‘And it's not trapped or anything?’ she asked, thumb hovering hesitantly. ‘It won't, like, put my soul up for auction right away?’
Choco just shook her head, obscuring a smile, and with little to lose Rin tapped to register. Or, well tried to. The design, naturally, was evil enough to put that small line of text right under the login fields.
Big red letters filled the screen.
Invalid Credential. Credential must include a Lesser Key, a Seal, a Verse, and cannot contain your Sigil.
She let out a long breath. ‘This is going to be a pattern, isn't it.’
But after a minor eternity the text disappeared, and a few more attempts to tap the tiny letters eventually got her to a page of dense text that immediately started scrolling, just a little too fast to read. ‘Great. One page in and the fine print is already hurting my eyes,’ she grumbled, trying and failing to scroll right to the bottom. ‘Hey, why can't I just skip ahead and do the usual signing away all my legal rights for a nifty little discount here?’
Choco sighed, and she just tried to ignore the no doubt intentional way her chest heaved against her shoulder. Seriously, what part of that was supposed to be appealing to anyone? ‘I'm sure they would love that even more than you, but it needs to be your own choice to disregard the information provided to you. Unlike mortals, we can bind no pact without intent.’
She blinked. ‘Huh. I knew those companies sucked, but I didn't think they were actually worse than the devil.’
‘Well, I wouldn't say Hellecom is better, exactly,’ she said, her smile straining. ‘They are the only provider down here.’
‘Ah, I see. So they're just gonna rub in my face how much they're gonna screw me over before I have to sign it anyway.’
‘Essentially, yes.’
‘Somehow, that's almost nostalgic,’ she sighed as the form finally reached the bottom and let her confirm she would have no rights and be entirely at their mercy for services actually provided. ‘Well then, let's just get on with it.’
‘Oh, do be careful not to click any of the ads, Rin-sama,’ Choco warned while she waited for the next page to load. ‘Or anything else outside the form, for that matter.’
‘What's up with that anyway?’ she asked, squinting at the logo right at the top - the only thing that didn't have any trouble loading in before flashing banners started cluttering the rest of the page. ‘Your Suffering Is Our Delight?’ she read out below the big fiery H. ‘Is that also there because they can't lie?’
‘No, they could omit it if they wanted to,’ she said with a small, intrusive shrug. ‘They merely like to remind us.’
‘Yeah, that just about tracks,’ she sighed. ‘But hey, why are all these ads for Hellecom too? Why the hell are they only advertising themselves when I'm already here?’
‘They're there strictly to make the experience worse, I believe.’
‘Ah, monopoly,’ she flatly said. ‘And they say the children don't yearn for the mines.’
Choco only had an awkward smile to offer to that, surely a sign that had simply been too masterful a piece of wit on her part rather than, you know, the total inability to hold a normal conversation for more than five minutes she definitely didn't have. She let out a breath, and started filling out the form that wanted to know everything from her weight to her tastes in classical music yet somehow failed to be more invasive than the few job interviews she'd foolishly attempted to pass once upon a time.
But soon, one of the ads disagreed with her conviction that she surely didn't touch it. The screen flashed and loaded back into the ancient homepage with all the urgency of a particularly bored snail, and she drummed her fingers on the armrest until it finally finished and she could hit the back button. Which, of course, faced her with a neatly cleared form.
She took a deep breath, wringing just one more little shred of patience out of her mind. ‘Yep, I'm definitely starting to see a pattern here.’
But there really wasn't much she could do about it besides giving up and resigning herself to life down here, was there now? So she filled out the form again, more careful than ever not to touch anywhere near the ads blocking more than half the screen as she worked her way down. Then, finally, she could hit Next.
E-mail already taken. If you are already a Valued Customer of Hellecom, please log in here.
Her next few words were decidedly unsuitable for the general public.
She pointedly ignored Choco’s concerned look as she stepped back and finally let her have a little space, and forced herself to take another deep breath. Then she tried her business email, practice at least helping a little with doing it all again. ‘I swear, if you clog up this one with scams I'm sending Gin after your asses,’ she grumbled under her breath as she reached the bottom once more. ‘Just work already, dammit.’
Please enter valid information.
She smiled, feeling just about ready to spontaneously combust as she stared at the empty form. ‘Alright, I think I should just go die now! Or kill someone. Whichever is easier here.’
‘Rin-sama?’ Choco carefully asked. ‘Are you perhaps having trouble?’
If that wasn't the understatement of the century, she was a functioning member of society. ‘Yes,’ she flatly said. ‘It's just impossible to get this thing right, isn't it? It's all a prank designed to make you waste your time and suffer. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you.’
She gave her an apologetic smile. ‘Would you mind if I took a look before you submit it again, Rin-sama?’ she asked, too nicely to refuse. ‘Maybe you just missed something very small.’
She groaned, but what could she really do here? Another little while of interruptions and general agony later she had it filled out again, and tilted the screen towards Choco as much as she could, for what little good that did in stopping her from pressing up against her again anyway as she studied the form.
‘Ah,’ she said only a few lines in, and Rin wondered if it was too late to just run and get struck down by magic or something. ‘It doesn't like it when you fill in dates in reverse, Rin-sama.’
‘What do you mean, in reverse?’ she protested. ‘Day-month-year is the only sensible format! Please don't tell me I have to fill it out like a Yank or something!’
‘Even Hellecom isn't that arbitrary,’ Choco said, gently shaking her head. ‘But there's a year-month-day example in the field there, see?’
Rin squinted, and sure enough there was a date in the cleared field - in a grey so pale you'd never notice unless you knew it was there. ‘Of course it's something ridiculous like that,’ she groaned, pinching her brow. ‘Why would I expect it to do anything like a functioning website at this point?’
But with that little detail corrected she hit the Next button… and the login page ponderously rolled down her screen again.
She looked back at Choco. ‘Please tell me I didn't just cancel the whole thing. Because I will commit a homicide.’
‘No, that looks like it worked,’ she said, tapping her chin. ‘Why don't you try to log in now?’
She frowned. ‘But isn't there supposed to be, you know, payment first? There's no way in hell this is a charity.’
Choco blinked. ‘Rin-sama, why would we need mortal coin down here? It simply draws upon your soul.’
‘What.’
‘Oh, but don't worry, it's quite a minuscule draw for these kinds of basic services!’ she quickly said. ‘Just be sure not to roam on it if you only have your own at hand!’
Rin blinked, and promptly elected to ignore everything that implied. ‘Oh, well. It's not like I'm using it myself or anything,’ she shrugged, and logged in, the little horned face eating her credentials as Choco politely stepped back. It spun several times, then disappeared in what could only be described as a graphically passionate effect that did absolutely nothing to help her confidence in this whole venture.
But after a long moment, the familiar bars finally popped up in the corner of her screen. She was once more connected, within easy reach of the grand whole of human civilisation.
Now she just had to call someone.
She stared at her phone.
Okay, so maybe trading fractions of her soul for cell service had been the easy part of the plan. Who was she actually going to call now? There was Gin, but then she wasn't going to hear the end of it and never mind ever getting any sort of explanations. No, there really was just one person who could help her among the sparse network of people who tolerated her against their better judgment.
Roca Rourin.
She… hadn't done anything to piss her off recently, had she? No, it was probably fine. Probably. She'd definitely show up for an actual emergency, at least if she believed her. Which she would! Because if she didn't she really might be stuck here forever!
Calm down, Rin. Positive thoughts. Snebby is waiting for you. You don't want to let your partner down, do you?
She squared her shoulders, and hit the call. It only rang twice before her thumb twitched for the red button, but it was already too late.
‘Rin! It's been ages since you actually called me!’ Roca’s cheerful voice rang out. ‘What's up?’
‘Yeah, um, nice to hear you again too?’ she tried. ‘Anyway, I hope I'm not calling at a bad time but would you maybe happen to know how I can get out of hell?’
A long silence fell on the other end of the line. ‘You mean you're, like, stuck in the Tesco right?’ Roca said, but it wasn't as if she would call the only devil she knew for that. Not when she could have messaged her on Discord instead. Or sent a pigeon and hoped some overeager hunter got it.
Roca let out a long breath, presumably coming to the same conclusion. ‘Rin. What the hell did you do?’
‘Went there like I deserve, clearly!’ she quipped. ‘But I was just dropping off something for Gin - please don't ask, I don't know and I really don't want to either - but then I got lost and kind of managed to get crowned.’
‘What.’
‘Yeah, that was pretty much my first reaction too,’ she sighed. ‘Turns out mother dearest has been neglecting to tell me a thing or two about the kind of prince I am. But maybe you should just come over, there's no way I can properly explain… any of this over the phone, really.’
Roca laughed. ‘Yeah, I gotta see this. Where exactly are you?’
She covered the phone, mouthing the question to Choco. ‘The… princely palace of the Second Circle?’ she repeated, and for a long moment the line went silent.
‘Roca?’ she asked, only hearing muffled noises on the other end. ‘Hey, Roca? Are you okay?’
‘I- I'm fine,’ she eventually replied, oddly out of breath all of a sudden. ‘Be there soon!’
‘Oh my god, you actually are-’ Roca said as soon as she entered the hall, and that was as far as she got before she collapsed into hysterical laughter.
Rin let out a long breath, tapping the arm of her chair when she just kept laughing for a solid minute. ‘Okay, I know my face is pretty funny, but you've made your point by now,’ she said. ‘What's so hilarious that you can't even look at me anymore?’
‘Oh, you have no idea,’ she gasped, wiping tears from her eyes as she straightened out. ‘That- that seat has been empty for centuries because there literally wasn't anyone horny enough to fill it, and now you-’
She lost it again, and Rin helplessly looked over at Choco. ‘What is she talking about?’
Choco smiled uneasily. ‘It seems she's somewhat surprised by your ascendance, Rin-sama. Are you perhaps not known for your… bedroom prowess among your friends?’
She blinked. ‘My sex life, you mean? I neither have nor want one of those, but what's that got to do with anything here?’
‘Gachi?’ Choco said, looking at her flabbergasted for a long, awkward moment before she found her voice again. ‘You- but then, how can you-’
‘Maybe that dinky old seat just didn't get a proper read on you?’ Roca interrupted, suddenly far too close as she leaned in to curiously study her face. ‘Unless you were doing it for the bit this whole time and you're secretly down worse than Juna is for you, but even if that'd be totally on-brand…’
‘Hey! Personal space, woman! Ever heard of it?’ Rin protested as her head bumped into the back of the chair. Had her eyes always glowed like that? ‘And weren't you still rolling on the floor like five seconds ago?’
Roca ignored her, of course, humming thoughtfully as she skipped back a few steps. ‘Hey, sensei, whaddayathink?’ she asked. ‘It'd be pretty funny if the Throne saw literally nothing and decided it had to be infinite or something, right?’
‘I don't know,’ Choco sighed, shaking her head. ‘If Rin-sama is truly devoid of lust, the Throne shouldn't have responded to her at all. Let alone accept her as a true heir…’
Rin massaged her forehead as her headache grew more insistent. ‘Wait. Are you saying this thing took me because I'm one of the least qualified people in existence? What kind of absolute moron built these things?’
‘Someone who thought it'd be a hilarious loophole, if you're asking me,’ Roca snickered. ‘But anyway, congratulations on your ascendancy from this lowly demon of sound, Rin-sama,’ she added, sweeping into an irreverent curtsy. ‘If you'll permit my unworthy self a bit of impudence, what are you gonna do with all that power now?’
She tried to strangle her with a glare, but Roca just grinned back at her. That wasn't part of the package, apparently. Unfortunate.
‘First of all, quit that,’ she flatly said. ‘And second, I have no idea! I sure didn't expect to end up in charge of literal, actual hell when I was making breakfast this morning! What the hell am I supposed to do with any of this?!’
Roca blinked. ‘You make breakfast? Like a normal person?’
‘Okay, so maybe it was a bag of prawn cocktail crisps and a box of chocolate mini rolls,’ she admitted. ‘But that's not the point here! I just want to go back home to Snebby and my sons!’
She tilted her head, confused. ‘Then what's stopping you? It's not like you're trapped here or anything.’
‘Wait, I'm not?’ she asked, glancing over at Choco. ‘Are you saying I can just… leave? Isn't that going to, like, cause problems when I'm supposed to be in charge here now?’
Choco just smiled. ‘I've been taking care of this realm for over a century, Rin-sama,’ she said. ‘Now that proper authority has been restored, it will be no trouble at all to keep managing things until you are ready to assume your responsibilities.’
Well. That was definitely still very worrying, but at least it wasn't a problem right now?
She looked back at Roca. ‘So, you know how to get back to the portal I came in through?’
She laughed. ‘Why would we go all the way back there, silly? I can just put you right back on your doorstep. Oh, but since you're actual royalty now and all, what's it worth to you?’ she added, rubbing her fingers together with a smug smile. ‘A devil's favour doesn't come cheap, you know~’
Rin gave her a flat look. ‘Can't I just, what, order you around now?’
‘Nope!’ she said, rocking back on her feet, hands clasped behind her back as she gave her a cheerful grin. ‘I'm from a whole different circle, so the only order you can give me is to get the heck out of your place, your highness~’
‘Rin-sama?’ Choco asked, intervening before she could tell her exactly where to shove it. ‘Could you hold out your hand for a moment?’
She blinked. ‘Um, sure?’
‘Good,’ she smiled. ‘Now, please close your eyes and think of home.’
She did, screwing her eyes shut as soft fingers touched her palm. The low gate, the white gravel lanes, the stables and the garage, and mom’s modest manor looking out over it all. She felt a presence peek along over her shoulder, but somehow she also knew it would only take a thought to shake it off.
Then it was gone, and she blinked up at a man-high oval shimmering in front of her, right in front of the small steps leading up to the throne.
And through its pink swirls, a familiar view.
‘Damn,’ was all she could say to that as she got to her feet for a closer look, careful not to touch it just yet. ‘So you guys can just teleport around? Wait, does that mean I can too now?’
‘With the aid of the Throne, certainly,’ Choco nodded. ‘But I would highly recommend not doing so without any practice, Rin-sama. A misaligned portal can be extremely dangerous, and not just to the user.’
That wasn't going to stop her, of course, but finding novel ways to screw up reality could wait a bit. ‘Well, how about that?’ she said, arching an eyebrow back at Roca. ‘How's that for trying to blackmail your dear friend in her time of need, huh?’
‘Eh, I was just curious if you'd actually fall for it,’ she shrugged with an easy grin. ‘And no harm done right?’
‘Oh, really,’ she flatly said. ‘So you wouldn't actually have swindled me?’
‘I meeean, if you make it that easy?’ she drawled. ‘But anyway, let's just go already!’
She skipped over to the portal’s other side, curiously peering through as Rin frowned. ‘Wait, hold on. Why would you be coming along?’
‘I mean, it'd kind of be a pain if the Jamstones had to summon me back up to the Netherlands right?’ she said with another little shrug. ‘Might as well just hop back over the sea from your place. You don't mind, right?’
A little payback was… tempting, wasn't it? But she did go out of her way to come help her here. Even if she could totally live with herself if she abandoned her here, that probably wasn't how one made and kept friends.
She almost jumped when Roca suddenly leaned in close, gazing up at her with wide innocent eyes. ‘Pretty please, Rinny-rins? With a cherry on top?’
‘Okay, fine!’ she quickly said, holding up a hand between them as Roca thankfully skipped back a step. ‘On one condition. You never, ever call me that again.’
She grinned. ‘Aw, but it's cute right?’
‘That's the issue, yes,’ she flatly said. ‘Do I look cute to you? Actually, don't answer that,’ she added before she could open her mouth again. ‘Just get out of here before I change my mind.’
‘Yeah yeah, can't have people think you're secretly nice or anything,’ she laughed. ‘Okay then, bye sensei!’
She hopped through the portal with a last little wave, and Rin tiredly rubbed her forehead. ‘I swear, that brat…’
She looked back at Choco. Now how did one bid farewell to one's freshly acquired loyal servant? Who was also a powerful devil she'd really rather not offend when it wouldn't even be on purpose?
‘It was a pleasure to meet you, Rin-sama,’ Choco smiled. ‘Please take care.’
‘Ah, yeah,’ she said, fighting the urge to scratch her cheek. ‘Same to you, I guess? I'll, um, be going then!’
She stepped into the portal before she could embarrass herself any further, and a gentle warmth caressed her all over. But before she could even recoil at it, familiar gravel crunched under her shoes and the sun shone right into her face.
She shaded her eyes, and looked around as the portal winked out behind her. It was well into the afternoon already, and Gin was just coming out of the house in her riding gear, strapping on her helmet as she headed for the stable. Then she caught sight of her, halted, and changed course.
‘Well now, isn't that just who I wanted to see!’ Rin brightly said as she watched her approach, her pace as measured as everything about her. ‘Let's find out what else mother dearest has been neglecting to mention, shall we now?’
‘Umm… I'll just be going then?’ Roca said with an awkward giggle, and Rin belatedly realised she was still there. ‘I'll call you later though!’ she added over her shoulder, turning away as her small wings started glowing a vibrant purple. ‘It was nice to see you again!’
She took off before Rin could fumble out another goodbye, thankfully, and she just looked after her as she soared up with deceptively lazy wingbeats, until she cleared the nearby trees and disappeared.
‘A friend of yours?’ Gin asked, and she turned back to her mother's measured gaze. ‘Oh, but I suppose congratulations are in order. Good job on finally bothering to live up to some small part of your potential.’
All the questions she'd been planning to throw at her came crashing down as the reality of those words hit her.
‘You- did you set me up?’
She crossed her arms, arching a perfectly manicured eyebrow down on her. ‘And what if I did?’ she flatly asked. ‘You weren't going to conquer a throne all by yourself, were you now? And this one should hardly give you of all people any trouble.’
Rin just stared at her.
‘Anyhow. Now that you're finally back, could you go fetch some bangers to go with the mash while I take Bandit out to stretch his legs for a bit?’ Gin continued, indifferent to her turmoil. ‘Sometime before dinner, if you'd please. My card is on the far left kitchen counter.’
She disbelievingly looked on as Gin turned back towards the stable. ‘What? You- I literally just escaped hell, and that's all you have to say? Rin, go run another errand?’ she asked, incredulous. ‘Please say you're joking.’
‘What, do you want a pat on the back?’ she said, pausing only to raise another unimpressed eyebrow back at her. ‘Oh, you poor baby. I'm sure the world will be much kinder when you complain that things are too hard for you. Now be a dear and run along, the butcher’s won't be open forever.’
Her nails dug into her palms. Purple lightning wreathed her knuckles, but all she saw was the condescending look in Gin’s eyes.
Rin snapped.
ASHFORD, KENT - In a series of bizarre events, two women disappeared from the William Harvey hospital this evening after their admission only hours prior. The women, believed to be family, were discovered by emergency services in a Tesco parking lot off the A20 after numerous motorists called in confused reports of an exceedingly localised thunderstorm. The women were found with only superficial injuries, however, and no significant damage was encountered otherwise. Inspector Walton of the Kent County Constabulary confirms the incident remains under investigation, but in the absence of criminal offenses it appears likely the case will remain unsolved, much like several previous incidents where witnesses claimed to have seen a white-haired woman with regal bearing, believed to be the older of the two, carry out various impossible acts in response to minor inconveniences.