Chapter Text
"Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you, Powder." was the first thing that came out of the blue-haired devil's mouth. The same devil that took my sister from me, that replaced me. Powder thought the reason she didn’t like her is valid, but she guesses not everyone else, vi says that she isn't replacing me meh meh meh, it's a load of bull crap. Being with vi used to be so much fun, she would teach me how to beat someone up, and play pretend, oh oh! And help me with my bombs...but ever since vi started dating her, she's spending less and less time with me, and all she's doing is cuddling with her piltie girlfriend! I thought she was nice at first but then she started takin all of vi’s time. Well ... at least she doesn’t snitch unlike certain somebodies.
“Powder, not now, you know I'm with Caitlyn!”
“But vi you promised you'd hang out with me today...” powder whined. It wasn’t fair, vi is her sister, not Caitlyn's.
“Sorry powder but maybe another day, Caitlyn's staying over today.”
Powder looked at her sister in shock, not only does she deal with Caitlyn during the day but now she has to at night, great just great.
So here powder is, sitting at the dinner table, Vander and her siblings and then just Caitlyn, clean and well dressed, looking like the pristine piltie she is. Powder giggles as Caitlyn tries to make conversation, her siblings clearly feeling a bit uncomfortable. To be fair, it wasn't everyday you get the piltie daughter of a Kiramman sitting and eating with you.
“So... how was school today?” Vander asked, trying to break the awkward silence.
Maybe this was my chance to tell them how I'm always the #1 target for bullies. Maybe they could help...just like they said they would, like Vander and vi would always protect me. Maybe vi would see that powder wasn’t ok, that she needed her sister. Just as powder was about to reply, Mylo's idiot voice pierced the air with amusement.
“You wouldn’t believe what powder did today,”
Powder felt her heart freeze, felt the air rush out of her lungs. No...no no no, Mylo stop please! She shot him a panicked look, but he just ignored her completely. Powder tried to stop him, but she got interrupted once again.
“She almost got her ass handed to her, lucky she was fast enough to get away.” Mylo continued with a cruel laugh. “I don’t know why she keeps messing with the older kids, like she’s tough or somethin’.”
No- that’s not- that’s not what happened!
“Powder really? You should know better than to start fights you can’t end. I’m not always going to be able to protect you. Be more careful.” Vi scolded.
Vi had said more words right now then she had said to her all week, and it was because powder did something wrong. Her sister that had been too busy coddling her girlfriend, was only talking to her…to scold her, over something that wasn’t her fault.
“But- that- that’s not what happened, it-it wasn’t my fault.” powder struggled to say, to defend herself. Stuttered trying to prove her innocence.
“It doesn’t matter if it was your fault or not, you shouldn’t have started a fight. I swear powder if you get suspended...” Vander said in a tone that meant ‘I’m tired of you’.
Powder clenched her hands hard enough to draw blood, her face felt hot with embarrassment and shame. Not only was she being scolded for something she had no control over, but it all happened in front of her. Caitlyn. It’s not fair. She tries to stand up for herself, to be strong like vi. But it’s like no one cared, no one noticed, no one ever notices. Vi’s attention was already back on Caitlyn, who looked at powder with a sympathetic smile, pity. Powder hated it, hated her and all her piltie sister stealing glory.
“Powder, we just want you to be safe.” Vander said, rubbing a hand over his face, looking and sounding so so tired.
Tired of her.
Powder felt her throat tightened, like it always did when she was about to cry. But she couldn’t, not now, not in front of princess piltie and her irritating brother who was still laughing like it was funny.
“SHUT UP MYLO!” powder screamed, her frustration overpowering her sense.
The laugher stopped and everyone at the table looked at her with faces of shock and disbelief to irritation and anger.
“Powder.” Vi said it like a warning, her voice sharp like a knife.
Just like that all her anger was gone, replaced by a strange emptiness. Tears threatened to pour from her eyes. When powder looked into her sister’s eyes all she saw was anger and disappointment and it shattered her. With a sudden movement and a loud scream of her chair sliding against the floor, powder quick excused herself and left to her and violets shared room.
No one followed, no one's worried.
'Just ignore her, she just having one of her little tantrums'
And with that said, the night went on.
Powder fought hard to keep the tears from escaping her eyes, but they fell anyway. Her whimpers turned into cries and cries turned into sobbing.
No, no no, it’s wrong, it’s all wrong. They were supposed to help, to make it better, to comfort her and tell her it’s alright. But no, they didn’t help, hell, Mylo laughed. Powder just wanted help, she couldn’t do this on her own. Was she undeserving of help? Had she done something wrong?
It's been hours since powder curled into herself, knees to her chest, hands gripping her arms so tightly her nails dug into her skin. It was all she had to ground her as emptiness swelled inside her.
“Just ignore her. She’s just having one of her little tantrums.”
The words echoed in her head, hammering into her skull. Why? Why don't they care? They used too. When she was upset, they used to comfort her and hold her, Vander used to ruffle her hair and tell her ‘The monsters can't get you now’. Her brows burrowed and her thoughts got darker, and the shadows started to shift, the whispers getting louder. The voices are always there, with her, always.
They didn't care about you, they never did
You're just a burden, an annoyance, a mistake
Powder clenched her arms tighter, her nails digging deeper into her skin, but the pain did nothing to silence them. This time it did nothing to calm her, to ground her. Even though her room was dark, that shadows in it shifted in to colorful and violent childlike scribbles, ones she couldn’t ignore.
Powder tried to, she really did, she squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her forehead against her knees. ‘You’re just tired. It’s just your head playing tricks on you.’ That’s what Vi, Vander, would say. But she wasn’t tired, she was wide awake. And she could hear them.
They finally realized you’re not worth it.
The room felt too small, too cold, too suffocating. She wanted to scream, to punch something, to make someone listen, but she knew how that would go. A tantrum, they said. All powder was having is a tantrum. Thats all anyone saw, all they saw. Powder pressed her hands against her temples, her breathing uneven. Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking-
The whispers didn’t stop.
They never stopped.