Chapter Text
“Here you go, dear.” Ragatha said brightly, handing Pomni her cup of tea.
Pomni took the cup carefully from the ragdoll’s hands and gave her a thanks. She brought the cup closer to her face and breathed deeply in, the gentle flowery scent of chamomile invaded her senses.
She took a small sip and immediately a bit of tension she’d been carrying today fell away. Even if she couldn’t remember much anymore of her life before the circus, even if the tea and its ingredients were just digital replicas of the real things, she was still fairly positive this was the best tea she had ever drank.
“Mmm. I still don’t know how someone is capable of making something like this in this place, Ragatha.” Pomni hummed with delight. “You’re a, um, a tea artist! Is that a thing?”
Ragatha laughed as she sat down in the chair adjacent to Pomni. She placed her own cup of green tea onto the table and waved the jester off.
“Oh please, it’s nothing really!” She beamed at the praise.
The two women sat at the traditional looking tea table with two chairs in Ragatha’s room. Being a ragdoll and all, much of her room was decorated akin to what a little girl may have set up to have a tea party with her dolls. The room was made of bright, pastel pinks and whites. With wooden floors and a ceiling, as well as a wooden piano with a large toy chest as a bench. It was a little childish, but Pomni much preferred its look as opposed to her own room.
Every now and then the two of them would meet to have tea and just unwind after an especially draining adventure. Under other circumstances, Pomni would usually dread having to make small talk and act pleasant after an anxiety-driven and harrowing day.
But Ragatha was very understanding, she didn’t expect or force Pomni to talk if she didn’t want to, and a few times they had sat in complete silence and simply drank their tea together.
With the lack of pressure, and the calming taste of the chamomile, Pomnis was able to let her nerves unravel, and she was able to enjoy the company of her friend.
“It’s pretty simple. I could always show you how to make your own, you know?”
“You seem quick to forget how I set the water on fire in that cooking adventure last week.” Pomni deadpanned, face tightening.
“I still don’t know how you managed to do that…” Ragatha muttered into her cup.
Pomni shrugged helplessly. She had always been god awful at cooking, or just being anywhere near a kitchen, but that had been a whole new realm of sucking.
Jax had, of course, been lording the situation over her head ever since. Any time she tried to tease him about something nowadays he would instantly respond with something like “Well at least I’m not so garbage at cooking that I break the laws of physics!”
God, that rabbit could really get on her nerves. But that thought usually came with a certain air of fondness nowadays. She hadn’t forgotten when he had knocked on her door two days ago and shoved a plate of salmon into her hands. Jax had claimed that he had been making it for himself but had made a bit too much, so she might as well have the extra.
”Plus, you’re a danger to society going anywhere near that kitchen. This is probably for the best.” He had mocked, but his eyes had been trained everywhere but at her.
Part of her was suspicious that it had been some kind of prank, she still wasn’t totally exempt from those nowadays, even if Jax’s jokes had a more good-natured feel to them lately.
But Jax’s nonchalant front was not cracking due to him trying to hide his laughter or scheming, but rather he seemed to be hiding… embarrassment, almost. Almost shy, even.
She definitely didn’t find the sight adorable, and she definitely didn’t wonder if Jax had made her all time favorite food intentionally. She had off-handedly mentioned her love of salmon one day at dinner to Gangle with Jax within earshot, but that had been several months ago. There was no way he had remembered that, it was just a coincidence.
He had left shortly after that and Pomni retreated to her room and tried a bite of her dish. It had been heavenly. Pomni remembered being so thankful for being alone in her room because she felt herself tear up slightly. It tasted like a memory she could no longer recall, and the fact that Jax of all people had made and given this to her filled her with even more bittersweet joy.
Pomni ate slowly, trying her best to savor every bite. Who knew Jax was such a good cook? She guessed they now balanced each other out pretty well. She wasn’t sure just how far the gesture had truly been, but the next day she had found the rest of the cooked salmon in the fridge, the only part of it missing seemed to be her own portion from yesterday.
Jax hadn’t had any. That revelation had made the rabbit take up even more room in her thoughts than before. And she, admittedly, already had had him on her mind quite a bit beforehand.
It was just kind of mind boggling how genuinely sweet he could be to her, how surprisingly easy to talk to and understanding he was, and how much she enjoyed exchanging stupid banter with him on adventures.
She couldn’t have ever imagined that the Jax she had first met could be like this. But he had been working hard lately to break out of his habits, and letting himself be more open. He wasn’t perfect, far from it, but he was trying really hard; and it warmed Pomni’s heart to be able to see Jax’s constant smile as more genuine.
She found her thoughts slipping back to him to a now annoying degree. She found her thoughts replaying the feeling of his fingers running through her hair-
“Pomni?”
“Yeahhhh?!” Pomni said a bit too loud. Startlement and embarrassment flooded through her skin as Ragatha’s voice cut through her ridiculous thoughts.
“You looked like you were getting lost in your head again, are you okay dear?” Well intentioned, but still demeaning, pity seeped through her tone, and Pomni tried to ignore the sensation of her skin crawling.
She rubbed at her arm to try and keep the feeling at bay. “Oh, y-yeah I’m fine. It’s nothing like that, I’ve just been kind of…”
Pomni bit her lip. She felt vaguely like a child who had been caught in the act of doing something they were told not to. “…distracted, lately.” Her face felt very warm. It was probably because of the tea, she reasoned.
Ragatha’s concerned frown shifted to one of mild interest. “Oh? About what?”
‘Jax.’ Her mind immediately rang out, but she refrained the name from leaving her mouth.
She wasn’t dense, if she told someone that all she had thought about lately was that stupid rabbit, they would think that she liked him! Or something else equally as ridiculous! Because that was NOT what was going on, definitely. They were just friends.
“It’s-“ her voice came out in a squeak. She tried again. “It’s nothing important, really. Don’t really want to talk about it… sorry.”
Ragatha frowned, but then nodded in understanding. “Well, if you ever do want to, I’m always here.”
Pomni gave the ragdoll a small, grateful smile. “Thanks.”
The two lapsed into a bout of silence and Pomni let herself relax again. She very deliberately focused all of her attention on the taste of her tea, and the clinking of her fingers on the ceramic cup.
Pomni took another sip of her tea, her worries and thoughts and existential dread and stupid embarrassing emotions temporarily forgotten. Until-
“So, you and Jax have sure have gotten close, huh?”
“PPFFFTTT” This world relied on so much cartoon logic and silly gags that Pomni would have been more surprised if she hadn’t done a spit take. She coughed as the tea left her mouth and stared at Ragatha with wide eyes.
“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” Ragatha gasped.
“Y- ack! Yeah, I’m fine! I’m fine” Pomni between coughs. Her eyes watered with the effort and her face reddening could actually be blamed on the coughing fit this time.
After a few more moments, Pomni regained herself and cleared her throat. “Mmm! Sorry about that.”
Ragatha waved her hands. “Oh, don’t be, that was probably my fault anyway. I didn’t expect my comment to startle you that much.” Her one good eye took on a small teasing glint, and Pomni squired in her chair.
Oh no…
“It’s just, I’ve noticed you two have been spending quite a bit more time together lately. It’s a bit… surprising, is all.”
Even though Pomni wasn’t very good at picking up social cues or others’ subtle emotions, Ragatha usually always wore her heart on her sleeve, and she could see a mix of curiosity, apprehension, and undeniably, judgment, flitting through Ragatha’s face.
“Um, I, uh- well we-“ Pomni fumbled with her words, unsure of how to respond to the statement, unsure of how the statement made her feel, other than uneasy.
“I guess you could say that… Jax, uh, he actually isn’t as bad as you think, once you get to know him. He’s actually pretty fun to be around, ya know? When he’s not pulling any pranks, I mean.” Pomni laced her fingers together repeatedly. She felt like she was saying too much and not enough at the same time.
One of Ragatha’s eyebrows quirked up. “He has seemed to be acting a bit… differently lately.” She mused. She turned back to look at Pomni, gaze apprehensive and slowly slipping into one of protectiveness. “He really hasn’t been messing with you? Because if he has, I swear, I’ll go talk some sense into him right now-”
“He hasn’t Rags, I promise!” Pomni waved her hands at the now standing ragdoll, willing her to sit back down. She obliged after a moment and Pomni let out a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” Ragatha said as she picked up her tea again. “I just can’t help but be a little worried about you, you know? Jax isn’t really one to really make an effort to be on good terms with someone.” She rubbed at one of her cloth arms sheepishly. “I’ll admit, when the two of you started to spend more time together, I couldn't help but try to keep a close eye on you two. I was worried that Jax was just trying to set up some elaborate prank to mess with you, part of me is still pretty concerned he’s just pretending to get along with you…” Ragatha’s last few words came out as more of an angry mutter than anything.
Pomni felt herself frown and some bits of tension nestled their way back into her shoulders. She knew Ragatha meant well, she was just worried! It had taken herself a while to fully warm up to and trust Jax. He had done a lot of $5!%y things to Ragatha and the others: it was understandable for her to be wary of Jax’s (surely in her eyes) sudden behavioral change.
But still, a small spark of anger stirred in her chest in defence of Jax. He was trying so hard lately to try to find ways to make amends and be more open. He had proved to her over and over again that their connection was genuine. To hear it so flippantly devalued, and hearing Jax made out to be someone he wasn’t… it made all feelings of peace the quiet and tea had brought dissipate.
“He’s not.” Pomni growled, voice coming out colder than she had intended. Ragatha blinked at her tone, so she took a deep breath before continuing more calmly. “Look- I… I appreciate your concern and you looking out for me…” One of her hands rose to absentmindedly tug at one of her hat tails “b-but I can handle myself, ya know? I can make my own judgements, and I know that Jax is really my friend. He wouldn’t lie to me like that, I know he wouldn’t.” Pomni’s voice was even and level, perfectly reflecting the unwavering confidence in her words that she held within her. “I understand that your two don’t get along, and that you may not trust him, but can you at least trust me to make my own decisions?”
Ragatha held her unusually steady gaze for a moment before drawing up both of her hands to her chest. “I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t mean to undermine or insult your friendship, I just- have never seen Jax act like this with anyone. I mean, he didn’t ever seem this different even with-”
Ragatha’s eye widened slightly and her mouth snapped closed. Pomni stared at the woman in surprise. Had Jax really been close with someone else in the circus before her? He had told her that she was his first real friend, had he been lying…? He once said that getting close to people would only lead to trouble, that they would eventually leave. Was this mystery person who he had been referring to?
“...With…who?” She prompted after a few seconds of silence.
Ragaths opened her mouth, before seeming to think better of it and shaking her head apologetically. “I don’t think that’s really for me to tell”, was all she said.
Pomni nodded in understanding, but couldn’t stop her mind from racing from the new revelation.
“...But.” Ragatha piped up after a moment, “I will say that I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jax so genuinely happy looking since you two started to become friends. Even if we don’t really get along, and I don’t really like him, like, at all…” Pomni was barely able to pick up the last part of her sentence.
“Um! Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that- uh-“ Ragatha drew a hand nervously through her yarn hair. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m happy for him, and you, yeah.”
“… Um, thanks…”
“Just please be careful.”
“Okaaayy.” Pomni deadpanned.
“Look, I’m just trying to-“
Ragatha broke herself off when they heard someone knock on the door. Pomni was secretly relieved with the distraction, this conversation was getting kind of awkward.
”Uh, one second, Pomni.” She looked a bit relieved to not have to finish her sentence as well.
She stood and brushed dust off of her dress that wasn’t there. She made her way to her door and opened it with all of her usual cheer. “Hi! What’s-“
Ragatha’s friendly smile dropped, and was replaced with a look of confusion and apprehension that Pomni knew only one person could create.
“Jax?” Her confused tone then slipped into a mix of exhaustion and mild suspicion. “What is it?”
Pomni leaned back in her chair to try and catch sight of the rabbit in the doorframe. He stood with his hands shoved into his overall pockets and regarded Ragatha with an unusually uncertain smile.
“Uh… wassup’ Rags?” His voice lacked any of the confidence it usually did. Pomni frowned. Did something happen? She leaned back further to try and see better.
“Uh, not much?” Now Ragatha just sounded downright confused again. “Just having some tea with Pomni.”
“Wait… what?! Pomni?!”
Pomni started in her chair as Jax exclaimed her name and thrust his head into the room and locked his bewildered gaze onto her. Pomni realized a moment too late that all her weight was pushed onto the back two legs of the chair, and she felt it give out as she toppled over.
“WHAA- OOF.”
She and the chair fell over with a loud and embarrassing clatter. She now lay on her back, staring up at Ragatha’s wood paneled ceiling. “Urrggg,” She groaned at the small bit of pain in her lower back and the feeling of the wind being kicked out of her.
“Pomni! Are you okay- hey!” Ragatha's concerns were cut off as Pomni heard Jax enter the room and approach her. He leaned over her and his face entered her vision. He frowned, nervousness temporarily forgotten in favor of assuring her well being. “You good, Pom Pom?” His voice held no amusement like normal, just genuine concern.
Pomni felt her face heat up once again. It was all a little too much. Her falling over, being caught basically eavesdropping by Jax, him standing over her like this, him looking at her with such unguarded and genuine care, even over something as stupid as falling back in a chair.
She gave him a nervous grin and two hasty thumbs up. “M-mhm!” Jax offered out both his hands and Pomni accepted, letting him help her back to her feet.
She could feel Ragatha’s eye on them.
She released one hand to rub absentmindedly at her lower back. She paused when she noticed Jax was still holding on tightly to her other hand. She looked at him to see him looking at her in almost panic. “Wha…”
“Good!” Jax cut her off abruptly and suddenly ran for the door, dragging Pomni by the hand along with him. “Be right back, Rags!” He called to the doll as they rushed past her. Pomni was only able to catch sight of her utterly perplexed expression for a moment.
He rushed down to the edge of the hall of rooms.
“Jax, what are you-!”
She stopped abruptly when Jax stopped in his steps abruptly. He let go of her hand and darted his gaze around all around them, as if making sure no one else would see them. That only confused her more. “What is going-“
“The heck were you doing in Ragatha’s room, Pom! Are you serious right now?!” He flailed his arms around as if she had left the stove on or something.
“I- what?!” Pomni squinted at him in pure bewilderment. “What are you talking about??”
Jax dragged his hands down his face. “Ugh, god, this is the worst. Why’d you have to do this to me?” He groaned.
“Me?? What did I do? Is it now illegal to be hanging out with Ragatha, or something?” She exclaimed.
He groaned again. “No that’s not what- just-“ he sighed and dug into one of his pockets. He pulled out a few small, lined pieces of paper. Notecards. Notecards scrabbled with various crossed out words and uncertain handwriting.
Oh. Oh.
Realization dawned over Pomni. She looked up at Jax with surprise. “You were going to apologize to her? Like, just now?”
Jax regarded the top card with a look like it had personally wronged him, before shoving them back into his pocket. “That was the plan.” He sighed.
“I didn’t know you were going to be in there though! It’s bad enough saying this in front of raggedy Ann over there, I don’t need anyone else to hear this!”
Pomni gave him a look. “You could have just asked me to leave, you know. If I knew what you were doing, you know I would have given you some space! Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on this?”
“I wasn’t, not until like five minutes ago. I got the sudden urge to just- get it over with already- and decided to just try before I realize what a horrible idea this is.”
Pomni felt her voice soften. “It’s not horrible, maybe it’ll be a bit uncomfortable, but you’re doing the right thing.”
“Doing the right thing sucks.” He bemoaned. Pomni rolled her eyes with a smirk.
“I was doing kinda okay, but then I saw you and I kinda freaked out. I thought if I told you to leave it would just make things seem so serious and Rags would get real weird and- ugh. I just wanted this to be as, like, casual and not completely and utterly embarrassing as possible.”
She gave him a lopsided grin. “I really think you made that better by running out the room with me in panic.
“You gotta remind me!?” He huffed, tugging at his ears. Anxiety seemed to be overtaking him again, Pomni wondered vaguely if this is how she looked all the time.
Pomni took a step closer to him and caught his gaze. “Hey.”
He paused from his fidgeting as Pomni raised her arms and grabbed his hands, gently removing them from around his ears and moving to rest her hands utop his closed fists as their hands lay between them. She gave his fists a quick, reassuring squeeze.
“It’ll be just fine. Just be honest with her. You’ve done it before.”
“Tch. With you, maybe, but that’s different.”
“How so?”
Jax stared at an indiscernible point on the floor. He shrugged helplessly. “Just is.” He mumbled.
“Well-“ Pomni brightened as she thought of something else. “You know, talking to her right now is actually the perfect time! We had just been talking about you before.”
Jax lifted his head to squint at her. “And that’s supposed to be helpful… how? She hates me.”
Pomni rolled her eyes. “Because I was saying good stuff about you, ya doof! I put in some good words there for you.”
Despite his uneasy state, Jax was able to manage bringing on a teasing grin. “Ohh, you were going on and on about just how amazing I am, were you?” His voice dripped with fake saccharine.
Pomni gave him a deadpanning look, ignoring the way his words caused a stir in her chest. “Yeah, I even told her about how humble you are.” She said flatly.
The rabbit snickered. “Just as long as you’re not spreading around false information. I still have to maintain some of my reputation. So you better not be going and saying to her and saying that I’m…” he made a show of cringing “Like sweet, or nice, or anything equally as awful.”
“Yes, God forbid I say that.”
“Exactly!”
“Jax?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re stalling.”
He scowled. “You’re no fun.”
“Come on, just get it over with, like you said!” She encouraged.
Jax stared at her for a moment before his eyes fell to their hands. His hands shifted under hers and Pomni watched as he slowly readjusted them to intertwine his fingers between hers.
She felt her breath hitch slightly in her throat.
It wasn’t because it made her uncomfortable, not at all. In fact, it surprised Pomni just how quickly Jax’s touch had become such a natural feeling. Ever since that night with the thunderstorm, any possible doubt or discomfort with his contact had crumbled away, instead replaced with a feeling of peace and an unusual sensation of her heart threatening to burst out of her ribcage.
Did her character model have a ribcage? Wait, did she even have a heart, for that matter? It must have, because something was currently attempting to pound its way out of her chest as Jax rubbed one thumb over the back of her palm for a moment.
He then let go and Pomni drew her hands back, slightly reluctantly.
“I’ll tell you how it goes.” He mumbled in defeat.
Pomni gave him two tentative thumbs up. “You got this, Jax.”
Jax rolled his eyes, but seemed less shaken. He walked back in the direction of Ragatha’s room, knocking again and entering the room.
Pomni let out a sigh as he disappeared, and looked behind her, toward the direction of the main stage.
She didn’t know how long it would take, maybe she could hang out with the others in the common area until then. The whole situation had sent the exhaustion from the adventure to the back of her mind, and now she just wanted something to pass the time.
She headed toward the open area of the circus tent. Towering blocks and nick knacks still weren’t enough to fill the expansive checkered floor. The sight of it still made Pomni feel uneasy, it reminded her too well of those liminal space pictures online. Nearly everything in this place held a vague, uncanny feel to it.
The small area at the edge of the main room offered some comfort, though. A few colorful, yet otherwise fairly normal couches were placed around, along with a coffee table and a few potted plants. Even the never ending black-and- white checkered floor has been replaced underneath by a patch of less eye-grating warm brown and yellow.
It was where she and the others mostly spent their time as a group, excluding the adventures, and it usually offered a space to be around the others in a fairly relaxed manner.
Gangle and Zooble were sitting next to each other on one of the couches. Kinger was nowhere in sight, so almost certainly in the pillow fort.
She made her way over to the two and gave a small wave. “Hey guys.”
Gangle looked up from over Zooble’s shoulder and smiled. “Hi Pomni.” She said cheerfully, or as close to sounding cheerful as she could without her comedy mask; it had broken pretty early on in today’s adventure.
It hadn’t been Jax this time, though. Actually, now that Pomni thought about it, she couldn’t really remember the last time Jax had tried to break it.
Zooble looked up from whatever they were holding and waved at her with a red claw. “Come to see the show?” They quipped.
Pomni tilted her head. “Uh, ‘show’? What are you doing?”
Zooble lifted up the object in their lap, it was one of Gangle’s sketchbooks. It was only now that Pomni noticed the pencil held in their non- claw hand.
“I’m teaching Zooble how to draw!” Gangle beamed, her own sketchbook in hand. No sad mask could put a damper on her clear delight whenever she was sharing one of her interests.
Pomni looked at Zooble curiously. “You wanted to learn how to draw?” She asked.
“Gangle wanted to teach me.” They said simply, as if it were the same thing. Pomni repressed a snicker. She had been fairly intimidated by Zooble’s stoic and blunt attitude when she first got here, but it didn’t take her long to realize they were a pretty big softie. Especially around her and Gangle.
The three of them had sort of formed a close friend group after one of the adventures, and Pomni found great comfort in their collective dynamic.
Pomni came to sit on the other side of Gangle. Trying to catch what Zooble was drawing. “What are you working on?”
“A zebra.” Zooble said shortly.
“Apparently they’re Zooble’s favorite animal?” Gangle said with a curious warble. “How have you never told me this before?”
Zooble shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s kind of a lame question, I guess. They’re like horses, but cooler, that’s really all the reasoning behind it.”
Pomni snorted. “Guess you and Ragatha would get along well. She loves horses, I think.”
“My favorite’s better.” They declared.
Gangle let out a sniffly giggle, as she turned from Zooble’s sketch to Pomni. “Do you have a favorite animal?”
Pomni hummed. “Uh, I don’t know. I had a few hamsters growing up… at least I think.” Pomni frowned, trying to call upon any specific details from her past was always a challenge. Most of the things that came to her were more of a gut feeling, something spoken aloud or experienced that just felt right or familiar. She shrugged at the foggy snippet of memories.
“I guess they’re pretty cute.”
Gangle nodded in consideration. “I guess I can see it. It suits you, but I thought for sure you were going to say a cat.”
Pomni blinked. “A cat? Why?”
She gestured to Pomni’s whole form with her ribbon hands. “You just, give off cat energy, I think.”
“Sad, wet cat energy.” Zooble clarified.
Gangle nodded in agreement. “Yes, exactly!”
“I- what?!?!” Pomni exclaimed incredulously. “I do not!”
“Sorry Pomni, but I think we’re in consensus here.” She smiled apologetically. “It’s not a bad thing!”
“It sure sounds like a bad thing!” She said, flailing her arms.
“Don’t worry, the hamster energy fits you too. You both are real tiny.” Without a mouth, all of Zooble’s smiles were mainly picked up in their eyes and voice. An amused smirk shined through so hard that Pomni may as well be staring at one.
Pomni groaned, “I already have to suffer enough height slander from Jax, I do NOT need you two to join in!”
“Hey, I’ve never said anything about how incredibly short you are,” Gangle objected. Her eyes then widened, and Pomni drew her mouth into a thin line. “Uh, that’s not what I-“
“I rest my case.” Pomni huffed.
“Uuuuhh, I’m sorry!” Gangle squeaked, drippy tears falling down her mask.
“Gangle, it’s okay, I’m just messing around. It really doesn’t bother me.” Pomni said; she had gotten fairly used to figuring out ways to best console her friend when without her happy mask.
“Are you sure?” She sniffled.
Pomni nodded. “I’m a walking rubbery, cartoon jester! I think being short is the least of my worries,” she said with a chuckle.
Gangle let out her own little breath of laughter, and Zooble studied her for a moment.
“Okay, but if it does ever bother you, you can always let us know, yeah? I know a thing or two about not being happy with how you look.” They mumbled.
Gangle placed a ribbon on their shoulder, and Pomni gave them a grateful smile. “Thanks, Zooble.”
They waved her off before tapping their pencil to their chin, or where it was meant to be, anyways.
“You know, there’s a thought, though. Maybe you were taller in your old body.”
Pomni snorted at the thought. “Somehow I doubt that. Nah, I think I was always made to see the world from my low vantage point.”
“Or maybe you were like six feet tall!” Gangle giggled, stretching out a ribbon arm as far as it could go to emphasize her point.
“Mmm, yeah I’m actually good, thanks.” Pomni declared.
Gangle seemed to mull that over for a moment, before nodding sagely. “You’re right, cause then you and Jax would lose your cute height difference trope.”
“…Their what?”
“Our what?!?!”
“Hey! Pompom!”
Pomni jerked in her seat. Speak of the devil. She turned to see Jax motioning to her from the whole other side of the main room. They were done already?
“Get your jingley short self over here!” He shouted again. Pomni huffed, subtlety he was not.
“Do you have to yell?!?!” Zooble shot back at the same volume over the edge of the couch.
“WHAT DID YOU SAY ZOOBIE?”
“F&$% OFF!”
“Can we…please calm down?” Gangle’s voice was little more than a whimper.
Zooble sighed and sat back down. “Sorry, Gangle.” They turned to Pomni with an expectant look.
“Oh! Uh, you guys don’t mind, do you?”
“Mind you leaving? Nah. Mind you leaving us for Jax? Maybe.” They remarked.
“Ha ha, very funny. You think you can show me both your drawings when you’re done?”
Gangle nodded enthusiastically, Zooble did less so. “Fine, but only if your @$$-hole boyfriend doesn’t see it.”
“Wuh- HE’S NOT MY-“ Pomni clamped her mouth shut, remembering that Jax could probably hear her.
She grumbled under her breath. Just by the look her two friends gave her, she could tell her face was visibly bright red. Gangle was grinning madly, giggling into her sketchbook with a concerning cadence. She recognized the look as the one she would dawn when talking about or watching one of her favorite ‘ships’.
Zooble’s was one of amusement mixed with distaste.
“See you guys later.” Pomni managed to get out after a beat, trying desperately to fight down her blush before walking over.
Gangle tried and failed to regain herself. “Hehehe, byeee…!”
Zooble cast a mildly disturbed look at the ribbon girl’s reaction before giving Pomni a wave. “See ya.”
Pomni turned and walked toward the entrance of the dorm hallway, where Jax nonchalantly leaned against the wall.
“Geez, took you long enough. Had to get permission from your parents?” He asked with a simper. His voice was casually teasing as always, but as Pomni approached, she could see chords of tension held within his face and shoulders.
She tried to further study him for a moment to try to come to some sort of assessment of how his talk went.
Jax quickly picked up on her staring, and his smile fell into that of a more neutral expression. He sighed and kicked off the wall. “Come on.”
They walked in relative silence down the empty hall toward Pomni’s door. Neither had to verbally distinguish which room they would congregate in, Pomni’s room had sort of unceremoniously become the main location of where the two would hang out.
Pomni had been in Jax’s room once, briefly, but she got the impression that he didn’t really like being in there that much. He claimed she was lucky because she had a better room. Pomni didn’t really understand the preference, her thoughts on her childish clown themed room varied from either indifference or mild disdain.
But it was still her own personal sanctum of privacy in this circus. And decor and color schemes aside, it served it’s purpose well. And if it could provide greater leisure and security for Jax than his own could suffice, then she will happily unlock her door for him when he knocked.
He stepped aside as Pomni unlocked and opened the door, stepping in quietly and watching as she closed the door behind them.
As soon as the rest of the circus was left shut out from behind the door, Jax let up on his feigned casualty.
He let out a heavy sigh as he relented in letting his ears succumb to gravity. He unceremoniously flopped himself onto the edge of her bed, one paw tapping restlessly on the floor.
She fought the urge to try and construct any premature conclusions again. She should let him talk first. In a rare moment of vulnerability, he had actively initiated seeking her out.
She sat down carefully next to him, a good few inches away, unsure of what to say, if she should even say anything at all.
After a few silent beats, Jax huffed impatiently . “You gonna ask me how it went or…?”
“Well, I-“ Pomni bit back a defensive retort. She took a breath and met his gaze. “How did it go?”
He gave her a lackadaisical shrug. “I dunno.” He muttered simply.
‘Why tell me to ask you that if you don’t have an answer?’ She batted away her annoyance, this couldn’t be easy for him, even Pomni found talking about these things difficult sometimes.
“Well, how do you feel? What did she say?”
“I feel like I should never’ve let you talk me into doing this, for starters.”
“Jax-“
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! …Kinda. Ugh, I don’t know. It didn’t go awful, I guess. Just sucked.”
“How, um, how about you just start from the beginning, then? Right after I left?”
He seemed to consider that for a moment before shrugging. “Sure, guess I can do that.” His voice held no real enthusiasm for the idea, although.
“So, uh… I went back to her door and she was all like ‘what the heck is going on? What did you do to Pomni?’” He spoke Ragatha’s words in a high pitched, condescending manner, hand flapping up and down in a talking motion and all.
Pomni’s eyes lidded as she looked up at him flatly. “Yes, I’m sure she said it just like that.”
“Yep! Glad we’re on the same page, Pomeranian.”
She failed to stifle a snort. Pomeranian, that’s a new one.
“Anyway, she started getting all huffy thinking I was trying to mess with her, or did something to you, ‘iswas dumb. She kept yelling at me even though I told her I didn’t do anything! I finally got her to realize I was just here to talk to her, like actually talk, and she let me come in. Totally not stubbornly and whinily at all!”
“You think you can go five seconds without insulting the person you’re trying to make amends with?” She interjected, though part of her was a little perturbed that Ragatha had been throwing accusations at Jax about her after their discussion. Did she really have so little trust in her own merit?
“Ughh. Whatever, fine I’ll try.” Jax bemoaned. “So then I started to read off the cards, then realized how utterly stupid they sound and just kinda, uh winged the rest?
I told her that she fake as h&11-“
‘You said what?!’ Pomni had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from interrupting again.
“-and that she’s nowhere near as sweet and nice as she always pretends to be.”
She heard herself let out a choked squeak. Maybe telling Jax to ‘just be honest’ had been a mistake.
“I said that that’s part of why it’s so fun to mess with her. She’s always tryna act so perfect and put together, so seeing her start yelling and getting her stuffing in a twist is hilarious. It’s way more preferable to her whole ‘holier than thou’ shtick.”
Good lord.
“I always thought that that’s why she acted so nice to people all the time. Just so she could feed her ego and look so much better than everyone. She thinks that since she’s ‘nice’ to everyone that she's way more put together and better than us all. It’s why she sucks up to all the newbies so much, so they’ll all rely solely on her and she can feel all important. Or, at least, that’s what I’ve always thought…
The way she acted with you, Pom, she’s done that for every new person since she got here; tried to pull the act with me, too. But, like, nearly all of those people that she tried to help are gone. Abstracted. What she did wasn’t enough in the end. And yet she still tries, even though I can tell that it hurts to lose those people she let herself get attached to.
I explained all that to her, and asked why she still does it, is it out of feeding her ego like I always thought? Stupidity? Stubbornness? Just- why?”
Jax’s hands, which had been gesturing vaguely about, suddenly dropped back into his lap. “And then she just said that ‘even if it didn’t last as long as she hoped, that helping and befriending those people who came through was worth it, because they made each other’s lives a bit brighter for a little while.’”
He shot Pomni a lopsided grin. “I know, cheesy, right? And stupid. I mean, how could that possibly be worth it? Anyway, I told her she was weird, and she’s not as perfect as she’s tried to come off, but, whatever the reason, that kinda persistence she has to not let this place turn her apathetic, how she’ll keep being a nosy do-gooder even if it’s not easy, it’s… a little admirable, ya know? And- oh god, and this is where it gets really bad- I told her that… I want to be a little more like that.
I said I was sorry for the way I treated her and the others- that part was not fun- and I said I’d let up on my more extreme pranks if she’d lay off on her nagging. And I asked if we could eventually work to end up on better terms with each other. She didn’t say anything for a while, she just looked really surprised, but then she finally thanked me for talking with her, and that she needed some time to think about it. And yeah. So I left and went to find you, and that was my grand adventure.”
He let out a huff and fell back onto the bed, laying on his back and staring upward. Pomni gazed down at him as she mulled over the relayed conversation.
Despite his earlier hesitance, Jax had taken her advice to be honest in stride. He could be rather blunt, his admittance to his interpretation of Ragatha’s character was probably quite the frustration to hear, but it was clear he had said those things not to offend this time, but rather communicate his view and change of perception. It was an undignified, unpolished approach, but it was personable and genuine and leaps and bounds better than the stock affirming speeches Pomni had helped prepare. She smiled gently down at the rabbit, his guarded walls seemed to crumble away a little more before her eyes.
She leaned back next to him to stare up at the striped canopy over her bed, her mind trying to create images in the shadows that lay between the monotonous stripes.
“How screwed am I, you think?” He spoke after a few beats.
Pomni let out an amused exhale as she turned her head slightly to look at him, but Jax remained staring straight up.
“You just need to give her some time, like she said. From her perspective, this happened pretty suddenly, and may be a bit hard to believe considering your, uh… p-past.”
Jax snorted, sounding thankfully more amused than offended.
“But, I think what you said was wonderful, and I think just letting yourself speak your thoughts out to her was something you both needed to understand each other better. I can’t speak for her, of course, but I think she’ll come around. This is a good step in the right direction.”
Pomni sat up once again to look down at the rabbit and she felt another small smile grace her lips, as Jax’s gaze turned to lock with hers. “And, I’m, uh, proud of you…?” ‘Was that a weird thing to say??’
The corners of his eyes crinkled as an amused look took hold of his face. “‘S that so? Wow, little ol’ me?”
Pomni chuffed and reached down to lightly flick where his nose should be. His light teasing was usually a pretty good remedy for her nerves. “Yeah, lil’ ol’ you.
Jax halfheartedly shooed her hand away and rubbed dramatically at his face. “Geez, always with the violence, huh Pom?” He muttered.
“Guess you’re starting to rub off on me.”
“Good. If I’m gonna start acting a bit nicer, you gotta start acting a bit meaner. We must keep balance in the circus.” He concurred.
She nodded sagely, fighting back a smile. “Mm, yes, of course. Can’t let things get too pleasant around here, can we?”
“Great minds think alike!” Jax declared, lazily reaching up to her in what she assumed was an attempt to rustle her hat. He couldn’t quite reach without sitting up, though, so his hand ended up bumping awkwardly against her head, his fingers lightly brushing against her cheek. He tried again a few more times to reach the top of her head and failed; Pomni merely watched the whole ordeal with the rise of an amused brow.
“Whatcha doing there, jackrabbit?”
“Trying to mess with you, but don’t wanna move,” he whined.
“You used to put more effort into annoying me, I’m disappointed.”
“‘M tired. Pull me up, help me out here!” He demanded, prodding at her cheek.
She giggled and rested her chin atop one of her hands, contentment mellowing out her features as she stared down at the rabbit. “I think i'm gonna pass, actually.”
“Booooo! You’re no fun.” Jax scowled up at her for a few moments more, before a mischievous smirk took over.
“Well, guess you just have to come to me.”
Uh oh-
Before Pomni could fully process the statement, Jax grabbed onto one of her arms and yanked her down, Pomni squeaked in surprise as she basically face-planted into his chest. His hand left her arm and one of his arms came to wrap around her shoulders to hold her in place. He cackled maniacally as his other hand ruffled mercilessly into the top of her head, skewing her hat with the accompaniment of jingling bells.
“Mwahaha! Victory for the great Jax!”
Wild giggles bubbled in Pomni’s throat and expelled past her lips as she squirmed in Jax’s grasp for freedom. “J-Jax! You big idiot, lemme go!” She laughed, her voice muffled slightly by Jax’s fur.
“No can do, buckaroo! You’re mine now!” He declared triumphantly, his grip on her unrelenting.
“Aghhh! Stop, this is harassment!” She bellowed between laughs. She attempted to duck away her head from Jax’s accursed hand, with little success.
At last, Jax finally backed off and loosened his grip on her and ceased with the noogying.
Pomni used her elbows to sit up and readjusted her skewed hat. God, her hair must look like a complete disaster under there right now.
She could feel every shudder of suppressed chuckles in Jax’s form beneath her, and she turned to meet his all-too-pleased expression with a huff.
“Jerk.” She said, though the smile that remained on her face probably did little to aid in the conviction of her insult.
Jax laughed and shot her a look of feigned innocence. “Whaaaat?” He drawled. “I’m simply putting in more effort to annoy you, just like you asked!” He shot her a wink. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
Pomni rolled her eyes at him for what felt like the hundredth time. “Oh yes of course, where are my manners? Thank you sooo much, Jax.” She responded flatly.
“Heh, there ya go!” Jax gave her a small, absentminded pat on the back, and it was only then that Pomni recognized the position they were in.
Her arms were laying atop Jax’s chest and propping her up slightly, the top half of her body was practically laying on top of him. Jax’s legs had drawn up closer sometime, with Pomni’s side pressed against them. Their faces were in closer proximity than usual with one another and his hand now rested gently on Pomni’s lower back, just near her waist.
Heat flooded through Pomni’s face as she realized just how close they were right now, how unusual and almost intimate it would appear to anyone else, and how it’d felt completely natural until she had fully acknowledged it. How it still felt sort of natural even with embarrassment and awkwardness quickly tightening her throat.
Her heart quickened and threatened to do a flip at the way Jax was smiling right now. It wasn’t his stock ever present grin; this one was genuine and soft around the edges- one of the ones that made his eyes crinkle slightly and pupils dilate.
She loved when he looked like that, and her thoughts swirled as she acknowledged that he was looking at her like that.
‘Oh God… maybe this IS more than a teensy tiny crush, actually…!’
Pomni’s trepidation and flusteredness must’ve been clear on her face, because Jax tilted his head slightly with an expression that melted into slight confusion.
“What’s…”
Jax’s gaze flitted as he seemed to finally take stock of what they both looked like. His eyes landed on the hand resting on her back and his eyes grew so wide it was almost comical. His pupils shrunk and Pomni saw as the fur on his face changed to a deeper and warmer shade of purple.
He immediately withdrew his hand from her and sat up, pulling himself away from Pomni in the process. She sat up as well with a nondescript cough and scooted herself a few good inches away from Jax for good measure.
The two firmly avoided eye contact as Pomni tried to regain herself and get the conversation back on topic. “Um, uh anyways-“ her voice came out as little more than a rasp. “G-good um- job! Heh, one down, three to go,am I right?” She said with a nervous chuckle. Jax finally looked back at her, seeming dazed.
“H-huh? Wha…Oh! Uh, yeah, right. Mm, yes, definitely looking forward to that, yippee.” In a matter of seconds, his voice shifted from confusion, to realization, to nervous sarcasm and flat disdain.
He grimaced at the topic and hand. “God, Gangle and Zooble are gonna be so much worse, aren’t they? And Kinger…”
A cunning smirk crossed his face. “I don’t see why I should have to apologize to him. It’s not like he’s gonna remember it anyway.”
She scowled. “Jax.”
“What? Tell me I’m wrong!”
She crossed her arms. “You know that’s not the point…”
Jax sighed. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Was worth a shot though, wasn’t it?”
Pombi dropped her glare. “Dunno about that.”
“Gosh, you’re such a goody goody.”
Pomni reached out and lightly slapped his arm. “Am not!”
Jax winced and grabbed his arm like he had been gravely injured. “Gah! You’re so violent all the time!” He fell back onto his back. “I’m in so much pain!”
Pomni rolled her eyes and smirked down at him. “And you’re so dramatic all the time.”
He opened one of his screwed shut eyes and grinned up at her.
“Maybe. But you know you love it.”
Pomni felt her smirk soften into a fond smile as the goofy rabbit met eyes with his warm gaze. Another surge of a distant memory returned to her as she suddenly recalled her favorite color. It was yellow, wasn’t it? Huh…
“Yeah…yeah, I do.”