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Life was really different.
There was no part of me that could have imagined that this would be my life after living in America. The convenient life and controlled environments were far away, if they even existed anymore.
I had encountered Rain(TM) before, of course. That that was light and controlled and was done for doing teenage things like kissing in the rain. It was, like, meg fun when it happened- but this was rain. A rainstorm, they called it, and it wasn't my first now. But it was the first that was this bad.
Everything seemed to be okay at first. Like, yes, the rain sucks and it was coming down hard and no one wanted to go outside, and the wind was probably doing some damage to the roof, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. But then the wind shifted, and we could hear the creaking of lots of trees coming down nearby, then there was a knock at the door. It was hell outside, so Smell Factor opened the door and brought my neighbor Quill in and held the door hard so that the wind wouldn't take it.
Quill was like, "The field, man. Something happened and it's like, meg flooding. All hands on deck."
He didn't need to say more except he told me to grab a shovel, so I did, and I got on my boots and my jacket and my hat. Smell Factor was like, "Be careful," and I was like, "always."
It was horrible outside. The wind and rain whipped in our faces, and it was nearly impossible to see. I'm not a small guy, but I really felt like I could have fallen over. Quill and I linked our free arms to support each other.
The walk to the corn field should have taken less than five minutes, but the wind was so strong it took us probably twice that amount- and then everyone else was working on the far side of the field, which was flooded, and we had to walk right through it and the cold water was halfway up my shins and the mud underneath slowed us down even more.
The field was in a meg suck spot to begin with, but so was everything here. The drainage got blocked by some of the trees that came down, and the wind meant it was too dangerous to use an axe, so a bunch of us started digging to get another drainage for the water going.
It was hard work. Time gets weird in situations like this. It's almost like being in mal, except not fun, and you aren't hungover after. BUt when you work hard, and you're focused, and all your senses are screaming because the wind and rain are loud and your muscles and hands are sore because you have to keep working, and there's no option but to keep going or lose everything because the water and wind were already uprooting some of the corn, you lose time.
And then some of the water started seeping through, and someone got the last bit out of the way and the water started gushing out. Normally it wouldn't be an issue because even though we got the drainage going it would still take a while, but it was hard to see and the wind kept battering us and someone fell and was nearly swept away. I was like, not thinking but somehow thinking fast, and shoved my shovel as far into the ground as I could with one hand and held on tight, and grabbed her with my other hand.
I couldn't haul her up myself, but someone else helped and got her upright and away from the gushing water. She was like, "Thanks," but I couldn't tell because the wind was so loud and she was so quiet and I didn't figure it out until later, so I didn't say anything back.
Quill and I and someone else helped take her home- we were all soaked through but she was, like, worse. She was like, "You're a meg hero," to me specifically and I was like, "Thanks," and we were talking real loud to hear each other. And she was like, "Wanna come in?" And I knew her and she new me so I was just like, "No I got to go take care of Smell Factor," because five years and a new life didn't change the fact that he was my stinky little brother, and she just nodded and said, "Yeah," and went inside.
Quill offered to walk me home but his home was on the other side of the camp still and the wind wasn't as bad going back because of the direction so I said no. And he was like, "See you tomorrow," because no doubt tomorrow we would be working on repairs together.
I got home and shut the door as fast as I could to keep the rain out. Smell Factor was keeping a fire going so that I could dry off fast and not catch cold or pneumonia or something, which was something we could get now. I stripped down naked because we're all men here so I could dry off and hang my clothes to dry. I still had scar tissue from where patches of my skin had rotted off years ago.
I knew Smell Factor didn't get the fire going himself. He's learning, but he's still a kid, and if he doesn't need to do dangerous things alone we try not to let him.
Violet's dad was asleep in the corner. He wasn't physically well when I met him those years ago, and now it's even worse. Any amount of physical activity really tired him out.
We were an unlikely family.
We came together only because we had to. After seeing Violet that second time, I came by, all day every day, until she died. Her dad softened on me a bit, I think because he knew how bad I actually felt.
After Violet's funeral, I didn't see him again for months. The funeral was small but beautiful, I think the way Violet would have wanted it, and a bunch of the homeschool kids she knew sang songs from different cultures. She would have loved that.
I broke up with Quendy, of course. I had used her to fill in where Violet was gone and she used me to try and make Link jealous, which didn't work.But all my friends, like, took Quendy's side, and I didn't see them from before Violet died. Never again. It's meg sad and I hope they're still okay, out there, somewhere.
It was almost two months later and things were still bad. More riots. More baldness- all over my body, and I never got it back- more skin falling off. People suddenly unable to breathe or having something called seizures. Climate controls going haywire.
It was everything Violet was warning me about and worse, once I started to pay attention. But the big things didn't reach our neighborhood, or our work, or anything else, so it was easy to ignore our skin and our baldness and the occasional neighbor having a random seizure or going into mal unexpectedly. People kept partying. I kept going to School(TM), even though I had no friends there anymore and the Feed wasn't reliable like it used to be.
Dad was usually still off at work. When he was home, he and mom were fighting about their affair. It was during one of these fights that I suddenly noticed our house go black, like our sun wasn't working anymore. And when I looked outside, it was like, the whole neighborhood was that way. I tried to ask mom and dad what was going on, but they were like, "We're busy" and then kept yelling at each other.
The Feed was unreliable but it was like, the only other option I had. When I checked the outage maps, my neighborhood and a bunch around us were offline. I was like, "Sometimes these things happen," when I saw Smell Factor to try and calm him down, but looking back I realized it was to calm me down too. "I saw it once when I was like your age."
But that's when I noticed it- two neighborhoods touching ours weren't showing offline. They weren't showing at all.
I ran out and ran to my upcar and drove to the edge of the neighborhood. They were gone. Disappeared. There had been nothing- no sounds or rumblings like you see in those apocalypse movies.There was nothing left because these neighborhoods weren't on the bottom level so there was nothing left.
And I was like, Violet was right.
I suddenly had, like, a deep sense of fear in my stomach and mind. Worse than the hospital on the moon. Worse than seeing Violet dying, even. Dread was what my Feed described it as, but I had no idea if I could trust it.
I just knew I had to get out of there.
I drove home and went inside in like, a frenzy, trying to tell mom and dad that we had to go. I kept trying to tell them, but they were yelling so loud, and eventually they were both like, "SHUT UP TITUS!" because they were fighting so much. I had tried and I was still being filled with this weird fear, so I grabbed Smell Factor before he knew what was happening and shoved him into the upcar and strapped him in. He was busy watching his program and didn't care.
I started going in the opposite direction as fast as I could, but after a few minutes, something stopped me. I checked the outage map again. It was in the direction I was going anyway, so I went to Violet's house. There were dozens of neighborhoods gone along the way.
Violet's dad came outside as I was parking the car, looking confused. I was like, "Get in the car, we're going!" And he just stared so I was like, "Get the FUCK in the car!" because I forgot about Smell Factor.
But then he went inside. I waited for a second and then almost got out to drag him out of the house if I had to, but he came back out with two bags, and got in. I started driving.
I drove at top speed away from here. We didn't see any neighborhoods disappear, but we saw a bunch that did. Eventually he was like, "Where's your parents?" because I guess he understood what it was that I was doing.
I was like, "They wouldn't stop fighting so I left without them."
And he was like. "That was indubitably a fantastic resolution. Does your juvenile sibling comprehend?"
It took me a minute to understand but I was just like, "No."
We drove. Fast. For a long time. Every once in a while, I would check the outage maps. Eventually, I don't know the exact time, my neighborhood disappeared too. Mom? I tried to message via chat. Dad? I gave them time because I knew the chats would be on a delay with the distance but my palms were sweaty.
I started crying and Violet's dad was like, "Pull over." I couldn't see straight and I wanted to keep going but he said it again and I nearly hit something so I knew he was right.
To this day I don't remember exactly where we were. I think on the outskirts of some big factory that smelled really wrong. I sat down on the grass and cried. Violet's dad came over and was like, "I'm sorry," so I guess he figured that out, too. For a guy without a Feed, he's way too smart. I suddenly felt even worse, like losing mom and dad wasn't enough, I doubted Violet and her dad way way too much.
Suddenly he pushed something into my hands. It looked like a chocolate bar but different, and when I unwrapped it, I put it in my mouth. It was dry but kinda good but kinda bad. I was like, "What is this?"
And he was like, "Granola. I bet you haven't eaten. I'll take care of your brother until you come back to the car." And he left.
I ate the granola and cried. I did feel a little better.
When I got back to the car, he was in the driver's seat. He was like, "You shouldn't drive right now," and I was like, "But can you drive?" and he was like, "Better than you can." So I got in and my brother was still distracted. I was glad I didn't have to explain it to him yet.
I was like, "Where are we going?" because he was driving in a slightly different direction than I was before.
He was like, "Canada."
And I didn't argue because he probably had a reason.
We drove for a long time without any other stops. Smell Factor was hungry but refused to eat the granola, which made Violet's dad annoyed but he didn't say anything to him. Then we got to the border. Canada looked the same, but different, and I don't know how to explain it.
We got to the border and the guards were like, "Passports please?" and I was confused because what's a passport.
Violet's dad was like, "We are seeking asylum," and I was even more confused.
The border patrol signaled for us to move over and asked the two of us to get out of the car. Smell Factor was allowed to stay in. They asked us a bunch of questions about what was happening and then asked a bunch of questions about the Global Alliance that I couldn't answer, but Violet's dad could.
I saw other upcars in the same area. I saw more hit the border. I guess we weren't the only ones. I wondered if anyone went South instead, but didn't ask.
Two days later, we were in this camp, living with other refugees. One of the conditions was that our Feedlink had to be isolated; they couldn't shut it off, they knew, but we became "local" to ourselves only, we couldn't connect with anyone.
That was half a decade ago and our camp got better but life everywhere got worse because the American government went to war with the Global Alliance and made things worse for everyone before they lost.
There's nothing back home now, and I know that there's, like, never going to ever be a home with its own sun ever again. There's just the one. It's free and it ties us together.
Life is hard here, and it sucks sometimes. Having to repair pants sucks. My muscles are sore all the time.
But some things are nice. Smell Factor has a personality now that he can't just emulate whatever he sees on the Feed. Violet's dad is actually really nice and speaks normally now, mostly and his contribution to the camp is to be a teacher. I can actually write a little bit now. I only ever knew fire to be scary, not useful, not relaxing. But sitting here, my clothes and body dry after all that rain, I feel so relaxed.
I feel like when I'm like this, I could sink into the soil and be happy being part of the earth. When I think about that, I think about Violet doing the same thing beside me. I'm still bald but I feel like she would call me handsome about it, knowing her. Sometimes when I think about it, she's the same age, sometimes she's older.
She's never the woman she was in the final days of her life though.
"Titus," I heard Violet's dad say. He was standing at the window. I went over, forgetting that I was still naked. He didn't notice either. "Look," he pointed.
The weather was long over, and the sky cleared of the clouds- real clouds, not Clouds(TM). It was sunset, and the sky was painted a deep blue-purple.