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“Are you alright, Mr. Joker?”
Joker shook his head, quickly bringing himself back to the surface as he turned towards the chipper feminine voice that had sounded from behind him. After a few moments of reflexively checking for someone close to his height he finally remembered to cast his eyes downward, spotting a distinct yellow dog in a green vest.
“I’m fine, Isabelle,” he replied shortly, folding his arms and turning away. He’d long ago given up on correcting others on his name after following his stolen invitation here. Those bizarre giant hands had introduced him to the others as ‘Joker’, and as far as everyone else was concerned that was just his name now, instead of just a handle.
“You sure?” Isabelle pressed in that same friendly tone, seemingly incapable of taking a hint as she took a few steps around until he was looking at her again. “Because you’ve been staring really hard at Mr. Olimar, King Bowser, and Princess Rosalina for a while now!”
Joker let out a huff, one gloved hand reaching up to pinch at the nose of his mask in frustration. All these weeks of straightforward tournament fighting had clearly put him off his usual game, if an overly enthusiastic canine who fought with paperwork and fishing poles was able to see through him so easily.
He waited in silence for several seconds, hoping that Isabelle would take the hint and walk away instead of staying in ‘helpful assistant’ mode. Or that some giant eldritch monster would show up and give him an excuse to not talk to her anymore. Sadly, it didn’t seem that he was that lucky.
“...I’ve just been noticing those three have been walking off on their own after matches now and then,” Joker finally admitted, giving in to the inevitable. “Makes me wonder what they’re getting up to, and if it could cause problems for the rest of us.”
“I mean, plenty of other contestants have their little cliques, don’t they?” Isabelle tilted her head, ears and nose twitching in confusion. “Prince Marth and Sir Meta Knight often spar between matches, and Ness, Lucas, and Red are practically inseparable!”
“This is different, though,” Joker insisted, watching as Olimar, Bowser, and Rosalina rounded the corner, exiting the tournament grounds for the evening. “Those three hardly ever interact normally, and then just one night a week they wander off together for unknown reasons. What if there’s something going on?”
“Something going on…?” her eyes widened in understanding, blushing under her fur at the implications. “Ohmigosh you think they’re having an affair!?”
“I… that’s…” Joker shoved his hands into his pockets, desperately willing his mind not to pursue that line of thought any further. “That’s not what I meant at all! Just… something about it seems suspicious, and I want to make sure there’s nothing going on that’d cause harm for the others here, is all. And if nobody else is going to investigate, then I guess it will just have to be a job for the Phantom Thieves!”
Without waiting for Isabelle to reply, he turned on his heel and stalked off in the direction the mismatched trio had gone, his cloak billowing dramatically behind him.
It felt vaguely disconcerting, after so many months of relying on his teammates, to be tailing a target on his own. Joker did his best to remember and apply the lessons he’d learned from his experience delving into Palaces, keeping to shadows and avoiding lingering anywhere in line of sight of his quarry.
By now they had vacated the intricate, high-tech coliseum that tournament matches were held in, walking down the winding cobblestone road towards the rows of cottages that each fighter was staying in. As Joker followed silently behind them, cautious to stay out of the soft yellow glow of the streetlights, he saw them stop outside the cottage marked as belonging to Rosalina. None of the trio said a word to each other as the princess of the stars opened the door, ushering the other two inside before following after them.
Joker hummed thoughtfully under his breath, carefully treading up to the cottage. For a few moments, he feared his investigation may have been stymied for the night, before he heard a distinct growling laugh bellowing from near one of the windows. He raced over, readying his blade in his hand just in case the Koopa King had finally sprung some kind of evil plan, as he peered into the window to see…
Bowser holding up a picture?
He blinked in confusion, leaning in as close to the window as he dared as he tried to process what he was looking at. Sure enough, Bowser was holding up a photograph of his eight children working on some kind of gigantic robot together in one clawed hand, his usual sinister grin replaced by one of genuine paternal pride.
This was followed shortly after by Rosalina summoning an image of several dozen lumas of various colors crowded together with a wave of her wand, and Olimar pulling up a picture of what looked like two smiling kids of the same species as him on his pad.
“...you’re kidding me,” Joker whispered to himself in disbelief. “All that buildup in my head, and it came down to parents sharing pictures of their kids!?”
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Rosalina give a small start, turning in the direction of the window. Joker immediately turned tail and walked away to his own cottage as fast as he could manage, making a mental note to figure out what Isabelle’s favorite food was. He knew as a Phantom Thief he was supposed to oppose corruption in principle, but a small moral compromise in the form of offering her a bribe was definitely preferable to anyone finding out how he’d been spending this evening.
“Well, looks like I win tonight!” Bowser guffawed, dismissing the magically-summoned photograph with a wave of his hand. “And you know what that means!”
“I’m starting to think you two rig this just because I’m the only one with a real paying job,” Olimar rolled his eyes good-naturedly as he went to order food for the three of them. Since they had first started this at the last tournament, the rule had always been that the person with the cutest picture of their kids from that week got to pick where they ordered food from, and the two who’d lost split the cost of paying for it.
“Rules are rules, shorty,” the gigantic koopa smirked, his chair creaking as he leaned back. “Not our fault our kids keep winning our little contests.”
“I have been wondering, on that note,” Rosalina cut in, her tone utterly serene as she smoothed out her long teal dress with one hand. “Whether we should expand our gatherings. We are hardly the only members of this tournament to have families, after all.”
“I suppose we can at least try to ask some of them,” Olimar nods, smiling under his helmet. “It would be nice to get to know some more of my fellow tournament fighters, clear the air after the… incident.”
Both Bowser and Olimar shuddered for a moment, recalling when the Pikmin had mutinied and nearly carried several fighters to their Onions while he was away visiting his family, until fellow Pikmin wrangler Alph had been brought in to help in return for getting to participate in the tournament.
“Besides,” Rosalina’s serene smile took on a distinctly mischievous air as she looked to the pair. “With no disrespect to the other parents, I am confident that our children shall still shine brighter than any of them.”
Bowser and Olimar returned her grin, raising their drinks to toast their agreement.