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It started with Geoff saying he was going to shower, and not to bother him. No one thought anything of it, it was a common occurrence.
Then Ray noticed the air fryer missing from the kitchen when he wandered in to grab himself a drink. He didn't say anything, he just assumed someone broke it. Again.
And then Jack got a text, which made her laugh so loudly that it drew every lad's attention.
"What's so funny?" Ray asked from his place on the couch, leaning over where Gavin was sprawled out over his lap and giving unhelpful pointers for his game.
"Geoff just sent me a text," she chuckled, going to put her phone down when she saw four sets of eyes suddenly turned on her.
"And…?" Gavin prodded, sitting up just enough only his hair and eyes were visible over the top of the couch. Across the room, sitting together at the dining room table and working through a new bomb schematic, Jeremy and Michael were looking curiously, too.
She shook her head fondly at the young men and smiled. Something mischievous glinted in her eye, and she beckoned them over. Ray paused the game as Gavin vaulted over the back of the couch to scurry over, and Michael and Jeremy set their papers aside and approached her in the kitchen.
She simply turned her phone around and showed them the photo.
It was a picture of the air fryer. His text underneath read 'Making my chicken tenders in the bathroom so the lads can't eat them while I'm in the shower.'
It took approximately ten seconds before cries of outrage followed.
"WHAT?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"It's actually kind of smart," Ray pointed out, shrugging.
Gavin, who had been silent, looked up from the phone with his plotting face, a slow grin spreading across his lips. "But we're smarter. You lads up for a mini heist?"
Jack shook her head again with another laugh and put her phone away. "Whatever you're up to, leave me out of it. I'm the one who's going to have to deal with him."
"Of course," Jeremy nodded solemnly before his face broke into a hyped smile. "What's your plan, Gav?"
The four of them moved to the dining room table, previous endeavors forgotten.
"Right, he's obviously locked the door, I mean, who doesn't?" Three sets of heads nodded.
"He better have learned to, after I walked in on him shitting in the middle of the night," Michael grimaced, shaking his head to dislodge the thought.
"I say we unlock the door and sneak in. Steal his damn chicken tenders. What's he going to do?"
"I don't know, jump us?"
"With his whole arse out, Jeremy? Nah, he wouldn't."
Ray hummed. "We can't all go in. It'll be too obvious if four idiots go bursting through the door."
Gavin nodded. "I say Michael should do it."
"I'm down," Michael grinned. "The locks in this place are easy. Anyone got a screwdriver?"
"Yeah, lemme go grab it." Jeremy turned on his heel and left the group, while they turned back to Gavin.
"So, I grab the tenders, then what?"
"Bring 'em back here. Ray will grab plates. And then we divvy up the spoils and feast."
"What are you and Jeremy going to do?" Ray was already moving toward the kitchen, and he turned his head back to speak with them.
"I can keep watch, make sure Geoff doesn't follow," Jeremy offered Michael the screwdriver, which he slid into his back pocket.
"I'm filming, obviously." Gavin lifted his phone, which none of them had noticed he had pulled out, and panned it to each of them in turn. "I'll send it to him later, to rub it in."
"Llllllet's heist!" Ray crowed, and they all moved off. Ray disappeared into the kitchen while Michael and Jeremy headed toward the hallway, Gavin filming a few steps behind.
"This'll teach him to hide food from us," Jeremy shot over his shoulder to Gavin, who giggled at the face he pulled.
"Yeah, who does he think he is? You can't just keep tenders all to yourself." Michael grinned at Gavin and Jeremy in turn, before they quieted down as they neared the master bathroom.
"Shhh, we need utter stealth," Gavin whispered, silently laughing. "In and out."
"In and out," Michael agreed, pulling the screwdriver out of his pocket. They crept towards the door, all three trying to contain their giggles as Gavin filmed Michael as he crouched down in front of the door.
They could hear Geoff singing along, badly, to the music coming from his phone, and Michael raised a hand. He counted silently down from five, and then using the screwdriver, popped the lock.
Instantly, Geoff's shrill voice screamed, "No, No!"
The door slowly creaked open, and Michael grinned.
"No, get out! Whoever you are, get the fuck out!"
Michael leaned around the door, followed closely by Gavin's phone, and saw Geoff peering out from behind the shower curtain, anguish and betrayal on his face. Michael snorted and turned to the air fryer sitting on the counter.
"No, Michael! Leave my chicken alone! Michael, I swear to God, don't you dare!"
Michael reached out and grabbed the handle.
"No! FUCK YOU! DON'T!"
He pulled the basket out of the air fryer and spun on his heel. "Go, go, go!" He hissed as he shoved passed Gavin, nearly knocking the Brit to the floor, who squealed in response.
"Go Michael, I'll hold him off!" Jeremy cried, moving to block the door.
"Jeremy, if you die, Jeremy," Gavin squeaked as he followed Michael, whirling around to run backward, "we'll throw a tender on the floor in remembrance!"
"DON'T WASTE MY CHICKEN LIKE THAT!" Geoff roared, voice two octaves higher than normal, and the sound of him falling out of the shower followed.
"Thanks, Gav!" Jeremy saluted before Geoff slammed into him, butt-ass naked. "Aw, Geoff, you're all wet!"
"JEREMY! LET ME THROUGH!"
"No can do!"
Their voices drifted into obscurity as Gavin pelted after Michael, who as soon as they broke from the hallway, cheered. "WE GOT IT!" He yelled across the room to Ray, who shot him a thumbs up and then gestured him onward.
"Hurry, I'm starving!"
Michael slid to a stop in front of the dining room table, dramatically dragging in huge lungfuls of air, faking being out of breath. He brandished the chicken tenders in victory. "We got them, I think we lost Jeremy, but Operation 'Steal Geoff's Tenders' was a success."
"Job done well, lads!" Gavin cheered, throwing his hand out to high-five Michael and Ray in turn. "A right shame about Lil' J, though."
"I'm here! I lived!" Jeremy called as he half-ran into the room. The back of his shirt and pants were soaked, and he had soap smeared across his cheek. His grin rivaled Michael's, and he reached for the spoils.
Michael pulled them out of reach. Ignoring Jeremy's whine, he tutted in disappointment, "Come on, Lil' J, we gotta do this properly. Divvy them out evenly." He snapped a glare at Ray, whose hand froze inches from the basket.
Ray gave a guilty grin and gestured to the four paper plates and condiments he set out. "All right, Mom," he deadpanned. "Your children are starving to death."
"Patience, my child."
Gavin snickered and filmed Michael as he divided the tenders four ways. It gave each of them four—"Jesus Christ, how many was he making?"—with one left over.
"We gotta decide who gets the last one!" Gavin cried, panning down to the lone piece before snapping the phone up to Michael.
"I say I should get it," Jeremy immediately said.
"Why should you get it?" Michael challenged.
"Look at me!" He gestured to his back. "I'm soaked!"
"That's what she said." Ray looked smug when none of them could contain their laughter.
"Christ, Ray." Michael shook his head, lips shaking as he tried to fight a smile. "I think I should get it. I broke in and stole them."
Jeremy gasped, "That was the easy part! I had to hold back Geoff from killing you! Do you know how slippery he was?"
"Ugh, I don't want to know."
"Very!"
Gavin and Ray just watched them argue, neither of them serious, but neither willing to back down, either. They turned as Jack approached, one hand on her hip, a smirk on her face. She winked at Gavin's phone, stepped up behind Michael, and stole the chicken tender from his hand.
"I get it because I gave you the information," she took a bite of the tender and raised her eyebrow. Michael and Jeremy gaped at her for a moment before shrugging in acceptance.
"You know what, that's fair," Ray nodded.
"Problem solved. Now stop arguing and go eat, before Geoff gets out here and kills you all for real."
Gavin snatched a plate, and the other three followed his lead, and soon the four of them were piled on the couch, pilfered chicken tenders and bags of chips being eaten while they argued about video games. A forgotten YouTube video droned on in the background, drowned out by their increasing volume as their argument continued.
Geoff finally stormed out into the living room several minutes after they finished, the four of them in an intense game of Chicken Horse.
"'Sup, Geoff?" Ray greeted without looking away from the screen. "Thanks for lunch."
"I am going to kill every single one of you, slowly and painfully. And then I'm going to dump your bodies in the harbor." He glared at them all, then threw his hands up in the air when none of them paid attention.
"Fine! Fuck you! See if I ever cook for you lot ever again!" He stomped away. When they heard him shriek, "Jack! How could you? I've been betrayed by my own right hand!" they all cracked up, Michael's cackling, Ray's snickers, Gavin's squeaking giggles, and Jeremy's high-pitched chuckling echoing across the penthouse.