Chapter Text
Usopp stood in the Townsquare, supervising the construction process. He squinted into the sun.
This was terrible…
“You don’t actually need to use this… specific expression on my statue. I know it was a crucial moment or whatever, but maybe it would fit better with the Lucy and Kyros statue if it looked more, I don’t know, stoic?”, he tried to argue with the Tontattas.
They were way too excited to even consider listening to him.
“Usopp, Emergency!”, hooves thundered over the pavement as Chopper skidded to a halt just before crashing into the sharpshooter.
Usopp shrieked anyway: “What? What happened?!” It hadn’t even been 2 full days of down time, he was sure that they had at least one or two more before the marines shook off whatever trance the whole Doflamingo business got them in…
The younger man stomped his hooves, disturbing the dust still settling from the fight, his ears flickering every which way. “I don’t really know… Nami called, something happened, and I’m supposed to come get you.”
“Let’s go then.”, he quickly scrambled up on Choppers back. The Doctor didn’t even wait for Usopp to settle before he took off again.
“Careful!”, it was a miracle he hadn’t fallen of yet. He still couldn’t get over Chopper being so tall now.
“Sorry!”, the reindeer jumped over ruble, avoiding bowling over civilians and former colosseum contestants by a hair, “Luffy just sounded really serious. It must be super important…”
“Luffy is awake?”, why did nobody come and get him sooner? Honestly, he would have thought at least Nami would call him personally! His hand automatically went to the pocket where he usually kept one of the smaller snails when it was his turn to feed it… That’s right, Usopp had switched shifts with Robin because she was staying with Franky while he helped repair the town.
The other two were with Chopper and Nami, so he shouldn’t be too mad about being left out, he supposed.
The Sunny was coming into view now, she was docked in the shadow of the Yonta Maria, fittingly enormous vessel Hajrudin had comandeered. Usopp still felt his heart beat a little faster when he saw it. Maybe later he’d ask Hajrudin for a few stories about Elbaf...
For now, there were more important things to take care of. Even if he had the slight suspicion that Luffy’s emergency was just an excuse to party.
Somebody had left the staircase ramp out for them. A little careless if you asked Usopp, anybody could just wander in! Not that he felt particularly inclined to try and heave the heavy thing up by himself if he was being honest and Chopper had already shrunk back down to his hybrid form, waiting for him at the door to the dining room. From the impatient little dance, Usopp would guess that he wouldn’t have much luck convincing the doctor that not getting ambushed during their talk was a high priority.
Ah well, Luffy, Zoro and Sanji could take care of any Marine stupid enough to try and snoop.
It was pretty crammed in the usually spacious galley.
Robin sat at the table closest to the kitchen island, with Franky and his two equally enormous friends forming a solid wall behind her. Usopp could just make out Zoro leaning against the fridge and glaring at anyone who got too close. Namely Brook puttering around with the tea pot nervously.
Kin’emon nodded at him grimly from the far head of the table, Nami having sunken into the seat next to him in despair. Much more troubling was Luffy sitting in the same position and the far end, staring morosely at a piece of paper he held between his outstretched hands, with his chin squashed into the wood.
Usopp nearly jumped back out the door when his gaze landed on the figure on the long couch - smoking, seated as far away from the collected pirates as possible and definitely taking up much more space than Bartolomeo pressed into the green leather on the other end.
“Smoker?!”, the sharpshooter got a glare in answer, not from the Marine himself, but from Law pacing back and forth in the space between the table and the padded bench: “You’re late!”
Usopp gaped at him, how could he be late to a spontaneous crisis meeting? And it must be a crisis with Smoker of all people being tolerated in their midst.
“We’re not even the last ones! Your dad isn’t even here yet! And where’s Sanji and the kids?”
When Nami lifted her head tears were streaming down her face.
That was a bad omen. “Hey…”
“That is actually what this whole thing is about.”, piped up a voice next to him. Luffy’s mysterious second brother Sabo leaned against the ladder to the deck a sympathetic smile on his face, “It seems your cook got himself into some deep trouble.”
At that Luffy offered the ornately decorated card he’d been twisting in his hands. Chopper stuck close to Usopp, as he took the piece of paper and sank into the chair next to Nami.
The Wedding
of
The Third Son of Vinsmoke: Sanji
&
The Thirty-Fifth Daughter of Charlotte: Pudding
He couldn’t believe what he was reading: “Sanji is getting married?”
And since when was Sanji the son of anything? He just assumed… To be fair, Usopp had never really thought about where Sanji had come from before he started living with Zeff. He probably should have, after the whole Goji thing. A little brother didn’t just drop out of thin air after all.
He supposed that meant that Sanji still had one or two living parents somewhere out there and now they had come back to take them. Still though, the whole title thing was a bit excessive, wasn’t it? “Sanji wouldn’t just abandon us like that… Would he?”
“Read a little closer.”, the gruff Marine spoke up solemnly, “Don’t think he’s got much of a choice. That is a Big Mom wedding. You can forget seeing him again.”
Luffy nearly ripped the letter out of Usopp’s hand in his haste to prove the man wrong: “But it says he’ll be back, see? Right there, ‘Take care of Goji until I’m back’!”
“Only, he took the kid with him.”, Law hissed at him, “And not just his little brother, but also Cora!”
Smoker rolled his eyes: “Pretty sure that mess was Roci’s own decision.”
Now the high-strung doctor turned his glare to him.
Usopp nodded. He understood about half of that. He turned his back to the Marine and whispered across the table at Robin: “What is Smoker doing here?” If no one spoke up by themselves...
“The dear Vize-Admiral decided to take his extended sick-leave on Dressrosa.”, she hummed as if that explained anything about the man’s presence on the sunny, “Maybe he is waiting to kill us all in our sleep.”
She offered up with a smile.
“Don’t say something so scary!”, Nami’s head snapped up again, “And it’s not just Big Mom we should be worrying over! After Punk Hazard, I tried to talk to Sanji about his family. He completely shut down, he even snapped at me! Sanji never snaps at me…” The redhead straightened in her seat, chewing on her lip and hugging herself for comfort. “I don’t think his father is a good man, …”
“No shit.”, muttered Sabo quietly. Nami didn’t even react to the interruption, just soldering on: “… the first thing he did after hearing Sanji is alive was to try and ditch him with that bastard!”
All eyes went to Caesar sitting bound on the floor between Sabo and that talking Lion from Fishman Island.
“Me?”, the man faux innocently smiled at the sudden attention on him, “Why I know just as much as all of you after all I’ve been with you the whole time! It’s not as if I’ve been having clandestine snail calls with Judge.”
As much as it sounded like the man was, actually, having clandestine snail calls every night – it was pretty much impossible for him to have gotten away at any time with how diligently Law had taken to supervising the scientists incarceration. Or rather: stare at the guy creepily instead of sleeping.
Luffy stood up, for once a serious look on his face as he crouched in front of Caesar: “Cheddar… do you know Sanji’s dad?” Both Nami and Law groaned in tandem, while Robin chuckled.
Their Navigator asked: “Luffy how do you think Goji got on his Island?”
“I dunno….”, Luffy scratched under his head, “Didn’t he just clone Sanji?”
“No!”, Law cut in, “Even if he had the knowledge or skill to do something like that, do you know how long it takes for a human to grow?”
“The average human gestation period is about 40 weeks.”, Chopper very helpfully piped up.
Somebody should make Law sit down, that twitching vein at his temple couldn’t be healthy. Preferably someone who wasn’t Usopp though.
“It doesn’t matter, does it?”, Zoro broke the tense silence that had settled after that whole thing, “Whatever the reason that he decided to go, the cook left of his own free will.”
A groan rose from the whitehaired Marine in the corner: “Not to get too involved in your whole romance drama, but again: You can’t decline an invite from Big Mom. I know you idiots already picked a fight with one emperor of the sea, but this is different. If he turned her down, this would be a personal insult against her, just ask that crewmember of hers that you kidnapped. Pekoms the former Nox-Pirate, think he left his crew because he wanted to?”
The lion-man had been quiet until now, observing the chaos unfolding around him.
“It would be best for you to let this go.”, he bit out, “Let me leave and forget about your former crew mate. You already challenged Mama once without much consequence, count yourself lucky Strawhat and give up.”
“What do you mean former crew mate? Sanji is my cook! He is still my crew!”, Luffy had leaned over Caesar to better shout at Pekoms, shoving the scientist against the wall in his indignant rant, “And I will get him back!”
“Do you want him to suffer the consequences of your actions? He ceased to be part of your crew the moment this arrangement was set in stone! He is a son of the Vinsmoke empire first and foremost in this. Be glad that you aren’t losing more than one crew member. If he refuses, he is the one that is going to suffer.”
“What do you mean?”, Zoro had straightened at that little rant, his hands settling on his swords.
“I mean, that this is a political marriage between the Charlotte family and the Vinsmoke family. It has nothing to do with your crew.”, Pekoms repeated.
“You’re wrong.”, Luffy muttered, “And you are no help whatsoever, I’ll go talk to Sanji myself.”
“You’re crazy. At best Mama will cut of the head of someone he loves and send it to him in a nice little box for the slight, at worse he’s going to end up like Lola!”
“Lola? What happened to Lola?!”, Nami stood up so fast her chair fell over. Their Lola? The one that Nami had been so smitten with on Thriller bark?
Pekoms looked like he regretted that slip up: “…Take this as a warning. Big Mom won’t even spare her own children. Lola is the only daughter of the Charlotte family that refused a betrothal. There is no port where she can settle now, no day she can rest. She won’t know any peace until she is caught, hunted until the very ends of the grand line until her dying day.”
“So, we just have to talk to Sanji… quietly.”, Luffy grinned satisfied. As if that was any solution.
Law sank despairingly onto the couch between the quietly awed Bartolomeo and an equally quiet if not nearly as impressed Smoker.
The surgeon groaned: “Fine. Let’s go to Whole Cake Island then. I have someone to talk to myself.”
“You’re coming too, right Zoro?”, asked their captain already way to chipper for someone still wrapped in bandages.
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So far so good.
No one had seen him walk around the ship yet. It was kind of like sneaking out of his room in Punk Hazard. If Goji was quiet enough, he could just walk past people as if he was invisible.
It was scary though, all alone on a big boat like this… He couldn’t find Sanji, he didn’t understand why his big brother had left. Would he be mad?
Goji hadn’t really thought this whole thing through. He had given the nice Marine, the one from before that helped all his friends, the packet and just sat on the ground for a bit. Trying to see the scary man that had swallowed Sanji.
Cora had gasped in surprise when he read the card… was he even supposed to read that? Would Sanji be mad at that too? Goji should have given that to Zoro, but it was too late now.
“Vinsmoke?... Poor Kid.”, Cora had whispered to Smoker, Goji had heard anyway, “I don’t suppose he agreed to this wedding beforehand.”
He didn’t remember what the whitehaired man thought about the whole thing. It wasn’t important anyway.
Sanji was sneaking away and marrying someone other than Zoro. He thought his brother liked Zoro!
He didn’t understand. This was so stupid! Every time he thought it was going to be fine, someone ran off or forgot him or maybe he just didn’t want to take…
No!
Sanji promised, he promised to not forget about Goji again, so Goji would be brave!
Brave like Luffy! What would Luffy do? He would help! They all would, they had helped him too after all.
So… Goji had tried to speak up and ask Cora and Smoker to go help Sanji with him.
He was too small to do it on his own… “Hey”, he mumbled, “Excuse me…”
They didn’t listen. Cora put a hand on his head and smiled at him with sad eyes.
He brushed off the hand.
Fine then. Goji would go himself. Sanji would surely talk to him, Sanji always liked talking to him. It didn’t even matter if it was about his health or just about some silly game he played with Momo. He always listened. If Goji told him to come back, he surely would!
He could do this. Chopper was just as small and he was a very brave doctor.
Chopper was also fifteen, practically an adult and Goji was still just a kid.
The bad guys were getting away though, he couldn’t even see the stripey suit man anymore, could just make out the Egg man.
Goji had taken a deep breath then. tied his neckerchief around his head and ran after them. He’d just made it quietly up the plank in between the legs of the crew in just as stripey suits as the scary man, when he lost sight of his target.
The ship had surely already left the harbor by now …
It was fine though; Goji was a really good swimmer! Not as good as his siblings, but still pretty fast.
He just needed to find Sanji quickly and leave.
He did not find him quickly. It felt like his first days at the compound when he didn’t really know where anything was and he got in so much trouble with father for being late to every single one of his appointments.
Goji hated being lost. His eyes started to itch, he would not cry though.
He wasn’t a crybaby. Pirates didn’t cry!
And this was way less bad than being a robot. At least he was sure that Sanji would still know who he was.
Goji nearly walked into a big hallway, nearly double the width of the other winding hallways, steps coming towards his direction, when two big hands grabbed him under his armpits and lifted him high into the air. He screamed out in alarm, he was caught!
“Hey, Hey, don’t worry kid.”, the figure held Goji securely against it’s own broad chest and quietly sank back into the shadows, “I mean worry a little, because you are in big trouble young man! Sneaking onto an enemy ship! You’re worse than Law was at this age.”
When Goji looked up at Cora, the man seemed to reconsider his words: “Well maybe not worse, but you know… This was still pretty dangerous.”
And he couldn’t hold back the tears, as Cora turned him around in his arms and tried to pat his back comfortingly. He was glad he wasn’t doing this alone after all.
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Kaido was furious.
He’d already downed his third bottle of sake, but nothing seemed to calm him down at the moment.
What did he do to deserve this? First Caesar blew up his whole damn Island and then Joker goes and lets himself be dethroned by some green rookie.
Kaido lazily watched as a blurry figure ran past the entrance to his room. Huh.
He took another swig of his bottle. Odd. Did they go past or come in? Something to ponder about later, when his vision wasn’t swimming as much.
Life just wasn’t fair sometimes. He only wanted the biggest crew, full of Zoan fruit users. Was that too much to ask? Just a… a zoo full of animals on his crew?
He contemplated just jumping out the highest tower on Onigashima, again, when a different even tinier figure approached his door. He let his head roll over to squint at the nervous man panting and falling to his knees in front of him. His horns bumped against the wooden frame of the chaz… chaise… the daybed he was lounging on.
“Message… A Message from Dressrosa!”, Kaido waited if the little guy would get on with it by himself. He was just getting a good buzz on, no need to scream and destroy his good mood.
“A tall, blond man, we think Doflamingo, has been seen hanging around the Marines and being made to repair all the damage in town!”
He hummed: “They didn’t immediately send him to Impel Down? That’s reaaal stupid. Send someone to get him then.”
“Ah yes… We already sent Jack the Drought, but there is a problem”, the nervous guy swallowed heavily, “Doflamingo was seen leaving the Island…”
“Even better!”
“… on one of Big Mom’s ships.”
The little rest of alcohol spilled all over the floor, as his bottle crashed in front of the pest’s feet. Kaido swore loudly, he had better aim when he drank a little more: “Lin Lin!”
Why couldn’t it be anyone else? Why Charlotte fucking Lin Lin, one of the few people he couldn’t just start a fight with? Not that he wouldn’t win of course, but they had… history.
His underling was trying to surreptitiously crawl away.
“Hey! Bring me a transponder snail!”, while Kaido waited, he could do with another drink. There was a reason he hadn’t been in contact with that hag for decades.
What would he even say? How have you been? I’ve been missing the good old days for quite some time now?
I heard you have been married 43 times but you haven’t invited me to most of those weddings?
She knew he liked an open bar as much as the next guy! Such a selfish bitch. No wonder they weren’t friends anymore.
Had he even ever had friends? Everyone abandoned him… the Rock pirates disbanded, his lovely flower abandoned him after the birth of Yamato and his son was a right handful. At least he could never leave Kaido.
Where was the kid right now anyway…?
“Uhm… Sir?”, there was a little guy here with him, “I… I brought you your transponder snail.”
Poor little guy was shaking in his boots. Aww, don’t worry little guy!
“Mhyeah. Who did I want to call again?”, Kaido rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, “Lin Lin, right!”
He straightened up in a flash.
“Gimme that!”, he and the snail waited for quite some time before his old friend deigned to take up the connection.
“Finally! Hey, did you kidnap my guy?”
Quiet on the line.
“Nearly 40 years and that is the first thing you say to me? What do you want you drunk piece of shit?”, her voice had changed a lot since he has last heard it, but then again it had barely changed at all.
“Awww, don’t be like that Lin Lin… Is that how you talk to someone you’ve sailed with?”
“Why did you call me? Be quick, I’m in the middle of wedding preparations.”
“Congratulations…”, he sniffed, another celebration he was going to miss. “And I wouldn’t have contacted you if it wasn’t important.”
What had he called for again?
“Doflamingo!”, he exclaimed triumphantly, “I’ve got intel that you got one of my most cherished contacts stowed away on one of your ships.”
Kaido was under no illusions that Lin Lin knew about the goings on of his underground business with Joker. He’d kept taps on her over the years too, after all. “You don’t really care for Zoan fruits, so I hope we can come to some understanding in regards to a save hand over.”
“I don’t know, I’d love a Giant Giant Fruit, you know…”, Lin Lin hummed falsely casual into the receiver.
That shrewd, obsessive … he took a deep breath: “I bet you already got your own scientist working on that, don’t you? The only devil fruits you let your damn brood eat, are food related. Let’s not pretend we don’t know each other as …”
A loud battle cry rang out over his head. Not now.
His son’s silver hair fluttered behind Yamato in a high ponytail, not a single strand tangled in the cast iron club that he was raising over his head, ready to strike his poor father.
Why did he ever think letting that little devil have a kanabo was a good idea? He caught the damn thing in one hand.
“Can’t we do this later? Your father is in a very important conversation right now…”, Yamato just kicked his feet, swinging in the air and refusing to let go of his weapon. Kaido was sure if he wasn’t in seastone cuffs, something would already be on fire. “Fine have it your way. King!”
He shouted for his second in command.
On the other end of the line Charlotte Lin Lin laughed: “Is that little Yamato? How old is that angel child now?”
Uhhh… “20… something.”, Yamato finally let go of the kanabo, only to drop into a fighting stance on the floor.
He tried to hit Kaido square in the stomach, but the man was already used to his son’s antics and stepped aside. “I’m 28!”, he screamed at his father, much to the pirate empress’s delight.
Finally, King strode into the room, wearing his light, black fullbody armor, as always.
The lunarian didn’t even wait for his captain’s orders, before sighing and stepping up to Yamato.
Of course, he would go without much of a fuss when it was King that threw him over his shoulder and scooped up his weapon! But how dare Kaido ever discipline his own child!
“You’re a terrible father.”, Lin Lin gleefully informed him.
He couldn’t even dispute that: “I don’t need parenting advice from the likes of you.”
“Aw. Don’t be like that. How about this advice then? Enter an alliance with me.”
“That’s less of advice and more of a demand.”, he knew she’d want something in return for her help.
She eagerly talked over him: “I have a bit of free time until my new army arrives, let’s talk about the details. We could make it a double wedding!”
He sighed. Perhaps that would help him with his heir problem… A bit of a change in scenery. “You’re not keeping Yamato on Toto Island.”