Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wherever she may be, Jeongguk hoped his grandmother was rotting in hell. He may not have been brave enough to tell her that while she lived, but now he was ready to shout it from the rooftops – at least in his mind. Suck it, halmeoni!

On the outside, he only smiled politely at his grandma’s lawyer. “So, you’re telling me I’m not getting my inheritance.” He felt like crying. In fact, his eyes were already starting to water, which was fine and not humiliating at all. Great. He shifted his hands in his lap so that he could dig his fingernails into his thighs.

The lawyer looked down at her documents on the desk. “No, you are, but your grandmother has set some conditions.”

Hope you’re getting skewered in hell, halmeoni! Jeongguk took a deep breath, hoping his smile didn't waver. “I see.”

“In her will, she states that you are to get your inheritance in two parts,” the lawyer said, tapping her pen on the table. Jeongguk’s eyes zeroed in on the pen; the tapping scratching her brain in the wrong way. “– so, as your wedding present, you will get to pick an apartment from the foundation. Its ownership will be transferred over to you. The rest of your inheritance, which consists of the funds set aside in your name and your shares of Jeon Enterprises, will be transferred to you as your first wedding anniversary.”

Instantly, Jeongguk ran out of curses to throw at his dead grandmother. This was a new low. Honestly, he hadn't even expected a call from her lawyer. Ever since he had come out to his grandmother, things had been… icy, to say the least. He thought his grandmother had just silently written him out of her will and divided his inheritance among his cousins. But no, that would have still caught the attention of at least a few people in the company.

Instead, she had decided to twist the knife. Because Jeongguk hadn't just told his grandmother that he was nonbinary and that he was queer, he’d told her that he didn't want to get married. He was aromantic; he wouldn't fall in love – so why would he get married?

“This is probably not what you were expecting, Jeon Jeongha-ssi,” the lawyer said carefully. Oh no, was she pitying him?

“Ah, no, this is quite perfect,” he said before he could stop himself. He had a bit of a habit of building a web of white lies when he was embarrassed. “I’m engaged currently, and I was sad about halmeoni not being able to attend my wedding. I guess she planned for that reality after all.” One day, he’d get so tangled up in his lies that he would regret ever opening his mouth. That day might be today.

The lawyer’s face lit up. Clearly, she had been pitying him, and he was also starting to pity himself. “That’s amazing, congratulations.” It truly was amazing, wasn’t it?

Except, of course, he wasn't engaged.

Far from it.

As soon as he stepped out of the lawyer’s office and into the elevator, he groaned quietly. His fingers were clenching and unclenching, but it wasn’t calming him much, so he switched to flapping his hands a little and rocking back and forth until he felt like some of the anxious energy had left his body. He double-checked in the elevator mirror that his blouse was still tucked nicely into the long skirt. His sneakers looked a little too worn down for the business casual look he was going for, but that was because no formal occasion could make him put on dress shoes. They were uncomfortable and pressed on his toes — and heels were even worse! He thought sneakers looked good with any outfit, at least with his outfits anyway.

He was almost at the subway station when he got a message from Taehyung. gonna call you - not an emergency! Before Jeongguk could reply, his phone lit up with Taehyung’s call.

“Why are you calling if it’s not an emergency?” Jeongguk asked as soon as he accepted the call.

“Because you take three to four business days to respond to texts sometimes,” Taehyung replied. “Calling is quicker.”

“I reply to your texts in spirit. You’re just not well enough connected to me.” Jeongguk paused next to the stairs down to the subway. He didn’t like being on the phone at stations. “What’s the non-emergency?”

Taehyung hummed. “You wanna come have lunch with us? Jimin and I are meeting up with Yoongi hyung. His treat. He doesn’t know yet, but it’ll be his treat.”

“But then it’ll be more expensive for hyung.” Jeongguk bit the inside of his lips. He’d met Taehyung’s older brother many times, of course. He was kind and cared more about Taehyung than Jeongguk’s brother cared about him. But they weren’t friends, so Jeongguk wasn’t sure if he would be welcome at lunch. He frowned as he tried to think of his plans for the day. If he had a big lunch, he might not be as hungry for dinner — but there was a recipe he planned to make tonight. Meeting up with his best friends (and Yoongi hyung) wasn’t on his agenda. Saying no just because it was spontaneous was a bit impolite, though.

Taehyung apparently decided he had stewed enough. “You can say no, but you can also say yes, get some free food, and dip when you want to go home. No judgement.”

Sighing, Jeongguk rubbed his nose. He hated that he needed to convince himself to have lunch with his favourite people. This should be a no-brainer. “Okay, I’ll join. Please wait for me in front of the restaurant.”

“Of course, always.”

Yoongi didn’t pull a face when Jeongguk showed up, which he counted as a win. They met at Jimin’s favourite ramen place, which was good because Jeongguk already knew what to order in that case.

“So, I’ve decided I’m gonna get married,” Jeongguk announced after Taehyung finished his story about the assignment he gave his students this morning. “Hopefully, within the next two months.”

Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi stared back at him with various levels of confusion.

“Huh?” (Yoongi)

“Excuse me?” (Jimin)

“Why?” (Taehyung)

“I met with my halmeoni’s lawyer today.” He looked at Yoongi. “She died, but no condolences are needed. She was a bitch. And for that reason, she’s decided to fuck with me from the grave. I won’t get my inheritance unless I get married.”

Taehyung stared at him. “Don’t get me wrong, that sucks, but I remember very vividly a conversation we had about how freeing it was for you to realise that you don’t have to get married or anything else expected of you by heteronormativity.”

He wasn't wrong. The moment it clicked for Jeongguk that he was aromantic and that there was really no reason to force himself into the mould created for him, a weight was lifted from his shoulders. And yet. “I don’t wanna sound shallow, but I really want my inheritance, though,” Jeongguk replied. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to be someone my family will love unconditionally. I refuse to back down now. They owe me that money. Even if that means I’ll have to marry someone for a year.”

Jeongguk’s heart clenched painfully at the sight of his best friends (and Yoongi) watching him warily. He needed them to support this. If they didn't, he wouldn't be able to talk about it with them – he needed to complain about it to someone who understood him as well as Taehyung and Jimin did. He was well aware that it was a bit of a stupid and reckless decision, but his mind was already made up. If he was one thing, it was stubborn.

Jimin was the first one to speak up again. “I mean, Taehyung’s had worse ideas.” He reached across the table, and Jeongguk placed his hands in Jimin’s. “For what it’s worth, I’d happily marry you for a year if I wasn’t already engaged.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended,” Taehyung laughed.

“You’d marry JK, too, if you could. Don't lie.” Jimin raised his eyebrows at Taehyung, who shrugged and put his hands on top of theirs.

Yoongi cleared his throat where he was sitting next to Jeongguk and shook his head. “You three are… something else.”

Taehyung ignored his brother and gently patted Jeongguk’s hands. “Do you have any friends in mind that you can marry?”

Jeongguk frowned. He hadn't really thought about who he would marry. He didn't have that many friends, at least not enough that he could imagine marrying, even if just for show. “Most of them have partners,” he said quietly. There was no way he’d talk one of his taken friends into this. “Mingyu has Wonwoo, Felix has Hyunjin, and Yeonjun has Soobin. Should I even consider one of my friends for this?”

“It would be easier, no?” Jimin said, tilting his head. “Someone you’re already familiar with.”

“I don't think I need to be familiar with someone to sign a marriage certificate,” Jeongguk replied. Sure, someone who knew him might be more inclined to do him that favour, but it was just a piece of paper in the end.

“If I may interrupt,” Yoongi said quietly. He always spoke so softly. Jeongguk had never heard him raise his voice in anger – only ever when he was excited about something. “I think if you’re asking someone to bind themselves to you for a year legally, there should be some sort of compensation – either money or a place to live or support in some shape or form.”

“Oh, yeah, like a business transaction,” Jeongguk said with a nod. Thinking about this as a business contract could definitely help. “Then I really don’t need to be familiar with them. Business partners don’t have to be close.”

Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a look that he couldn't read. He was used to that, though, since they almost had their own language. “That’s–” Jimin frowned. “Well–”

“I have an idea,” Taehyung interrupted his fiancé. “Yoongi hyung’s friends have this wine bar and they host these queer speed dating events. I’m pretty sure there’s one this week or next. Right, hyung?”

Yoongi shrugged. “Wouldn’t know.”

Jeongguk pursed his lips. “I don’t like wine that much.”

Taehyung opened his mouth but closed it again when a waiter came to bring their food. “The wine doesn't matter. You can have water,” Taehyung said once they were alone again. “But a speed dating event would give you plenty of people to pitch the idea to. Yoongi hyung will be there too.”

Pausing his spoon mid-air, Yoongi looked at his brother. “I will?”

“Yes,” Taehyung said, and Jimin nodded along. “That way, you’ll know someone there, Jeongguk-ah. Since Jimin and I can’t join.”

Usually, a speed dating event would be the last place Jeongguk wanted to be. But out of a group of single queers, there had to be one person willing to marry him, right? Taehyung was right; having Yoongi there as a familiar face would help tremendously, even if they wouldn’t speak to each other.

“Okay, how can I sign up?”

Yoongi stepped away from the door to let someone else enter the wine bar, his hands still clutching his phone like a lifeline. “Please don’t make me go, Taehyung-ah. I swear to–”

“According to your location, you’re already there, hyung,” his younger brother replied cheekily.

Rolling his eyes, Yoongi huffed out a breath. Of course, he was there - there being in front of Seokjin and Namjoon’s wine bar. Jeongguk had texted him three separate times to ask whether he was going to show up to the speed dating event. He would feel like a massive asshole if he stood Jeongguk up. That didn’t mean he couldn’t curse at his brother, who got him into this situation in the first place. “You know Jin hyung will make me participate even if I’m just there as a chaperone.”

“Maybe that’ll be good for you,” Jimin said, his voice sounding a little further away. “You need to get back out there. It’s been so long since you and Yijeong–”

“Ah, sorry, gotta go, Jeongguk’s here,” Yoongi said quickly and hung up. He really didn’t have the nerve to listen to Jimin and Taehyung talk about his ex. Not today, not ever.

As if on cue, Yoongi noticed Jeongguk walking up to him. He wore a long beige dress over a white turtleneck and dirty white sneakers. Actually–

Yoongi smiled at Jeongguk in greeting, tilting his head. “She/her, today?”

Jeongguk blinked back at him as she slid her headphones off her ears. Then she nodded. “Yeah, he/him for you?”

“Yes.” Taehyung never told Yoongi how Jeongguk identified gender-wise, and he never felt like it was his place to ask. For all he knew, some days Jeongguk went by he/him and some days she/her. Usually, Yoongi was good at guessing which one it was. There was something about the way Jeongguk carried herself.

Seokjin was already waiting for them at the host stand when they walked into the wine bar. “Welcome, welcome. My name is Kim Seokjin, I’m your host.” He wore a suit, which was way too overdressed for a small speed dating event. Yoongi figured that, as the owner, he could wear whatever he wanted. Seokjin handed both of them a small clipboard. “I already know your names, so I’ll mark you as attending, but here’s your form. You can fill that out if you end up liking anyone. If the feeling is mutual, we’ll match you up afterwards.” He motioned to a small table a few metres away. “Over there we have some flags you can pin on your clothes if you care to but it’s not a must at all.”

“Thank you, oppa,” Jeongguk said and gave Seokjin a little bow before walking over to the small table. It contained multiple bowls of clothespins with different pride flags stuck on them.

Yoongi followed her dutifully. “Have you met Seokjin hyung before?”

Jeongguk hummed as she looked through the different flags. “Briefly. Oh. They don’t have aromantic.” She hesitated before grabbing a pin with a nonbinary flag and a rainbow flag and pinning them on the strap of her dress. “Well, no one ever remembers aromantic.”

“I’ll tell hyung to make aromantic pins,” Yoongi said absentmindedly and took a clothespin with the pansexual flag. “See, they have asexual, so they should include aromantic as well.”

Jeongguk pulled her lips into a small smile and nodded. “Okay.” When they reached the bar, she immediately went for the menu and frowned down at it. “I should have wine. This is a wine bar. I should.”

Their shoulders brushed when Yoongi leaned closer to catch a glimpse of the drinks. The bartender of the night, Namjoon, was still serving someone else. “I won’t have wine either. It gives me a headache.” He tapped on the page with non-alcoholic drink options. “They have really good lemonade that they make themselves.”

“Oh.” Maybe he was reading too much into it, but Jeongguk sounded relieved, her body relaxing a little. When Namjoon came over a few minutes later, they both ordered lemonade and made their way over to the rest of the people waiting for the event to start.

Everyone got randomly divided in two groups – the people who would get a table and the ones who would change seats every time Seokjin rang a bell. Jeongguk and Yoongi didn't end up in a group together, which at least meant one less person Yoongi would have to tell he wasn't here to date.

Except once the dates started, Yoongi decided to just act like he was here to connect to people. If he told someone dating was at the bottom of his priorities, they’d ask why and he’d have to say that his last breakup ruined him and then they’d ask how and– It was easier to have small talk.

“Hi, I’m Sungkyung,” the woman at Yoongi’s fifth table said as he sat down. “Before you start flirting, I’m not looking for– well, anything, really.”

“Yoongi,” he replied with a laugh, “and me neither. I’m just here as emotional support.”

Sungkyung scrunched up her nose. “That’s sweet. Who is it?”

“Umm.” Yoongi looked over his shoulder to check what table Jeongguk was at. She was currently animatedly talking at someone Yoongi could only see the back of. “The one in the brown dress in the corner. With the glitter thing in her hair.”

Leaning around him, Sungkyung sneaked a look at her as well. “Aw, she’s pretty. If she doesn’t find anyone today, I’m sure I could set her up with some of my friends.”

“That’s very nice of you.” For some reason, Yoongi hoped that wouldn’t be necessary. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about Jeongguk wanting to marry a stranger. Even if it wouldn’t be a real relationship, she was also making herself vulnerable. “She’s my younger brother’s best friend. So I gotta look after her.”

Yoongi still remembered the day that Taehyung brought Jeongguk home for the first time. Well, okay, he didn’t remember it vividly because it had been a normal day up until he found a doe-eyed person standing in their kitchen, still in her middle school uniform. Even so many years later, he didn’t know many things about her – not anything she told him herself at least. But it was hard not to care for somebody that your brother loved so dearly. Maybe he didn't know what songs she listened to or her favourite movie; he knew she deserved better than being stuck in a marriage with a stranger.

Sungkyung raised her eyebrows and hummed knowingly. “Oh, okay, I get it. I’ve seen that film before.” She giggled and straightened her shoulders. “So, tell me about you. What do you do?”

“I’m a producer. I make songs,” Yoongi replied, although he was still confused about her first comment. “At least, I try. I don’t always make enough to pay rent, so I deliver food on the side whenever possible. And you?”

“I’m an actor,” Sungkyung said with a bright smile. “Well, and I help in my parents' restaurant.”

“Have you been in anything I might’ve seen?”

She cocked her head. “Have you produced anything I might’ve heard?”

He laughed. “Not unless you’re really into indie rap and rock.”

The allotted time for their conversation passed too quickly, but Sungkyung managed to slip him her number (“just in case”) before he switched to the next table. With a sinking feeling, he realised he wouldn’t end up at Jeongguk’s table until the end of the event.

He had pleasant conversations but couldn’t help but compare them to Jeongguk. He was trying to figure out if she would match well with them and whether they would make good temporary spouses. What did it take to be a good temporary spouse anyway?

When he finally shuffled over to Jeongguk’s table, his lemonade and social battery were long empty. As soon as he sat down, he could tell that Jeongguk wasn’t feeling any better. She smiled weakly at him, and there was a crease between her eyebrows.

“No one wants to marry me,” she said before Yoongi could ask.

Sighing, Yoongi settled on his chair. He wasn’t surprised that a group of singles weren’t eager to enter a marriage like that. If someone told him about it, he would’ve thought it was a scam, too. These people didn’t know Jeongguk. Why should they trust her? “Alright, tell me your pitch. Maybe we’ll figure out how to convince people.”

Only when she unfolded it did Yoongi notice the paper Jeongguk was clutching in her hands. “Okay, well, long story short, my queerphobic family has decided to mess with me and won’t give me my inheritance unless I manage to stay married for an entire year. That’s why I’m hoping to find someone to marry me, strictly platonically.” Yoongi tried to keep his face blank. Jeongguk really just dove into it, didn't she? “I made a small list of things I would ask of you and then one of things I can do for you. Obviously, we’d need to get married legally and my family will want a somewhat public wedding so they can invite some of their business partners and boast, I guess. If I play my cards right, the wedding won’t cost us anything but I wouldn’t make you pay anyway. And, umm, you might have to join me for other family functions, though I usually avoid them.”

“That doesn’t sound half bad,” Yoongi said encouragingly when Jeongguk frowned down at her notes. He wasn’t lying either. If all he had to do was attend some functions including an impersonal wedding… there were worse things.

“Once I get my inheritance, I can make sure that some of my company shares are transferred to you, but that won’t happen until the first anniversary. As a wedding present, I will get an apartment, which we can also share for the duration of our marriage – in a strictly roommate fashion. You won’t have to pay rent, and we’ll just split utility costs.” Living somewhere without having to pay rent… Yoongi could hear his bank account wail in yearning at the idea of it. Maybe Yoongi could turn a spare bedroom into his studio instead of having his bedroom and studio in the same room. Having a roommate also meant being able to share groceries and– No, Yoongi couldn't think about this.

Nevertheless, he found himself leaning forward. “What about health insurance? Are you privately insured?”

Jeongguk raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I– Oh, yes, when we’re married, I can add you to my insurance plan.”

“Ah, nice.”

“Would you benefit from that?” Jeongguk asked, tilting her head at him.

Yoongi thought about the tightness on the back of his neck, which he knew would surely spread into a migraine within the next hours. He didn’t feel the pain yet, but he knew it was coming. He also thought about the stinging in his left shoulder that appeared every time he carried something too heavy. Oh, how he could benefit from the joys of private health insurance. “Uh, yes, I think anyone would.”

Jeongguk nodded. “I’ll add it to my list.”

“Are you sure you want to marry a stranger?” Yoongi couldn't help but ask. “Would you really be comfortable sharing an apartment?”

Quietly, Jeongguk bit her lip and shrugged. “I’d make it work. It’s not like I have many options.”

“Why don’t you wait a few months and-”

“I don’t have time,” Jeongguk hissed. Then, she frowned as if she was surprised by her own outburst. “I want to get this over with. I don’t care if I’m being naive or stubborn. Once I have my insurance, I can finally stay away from my family. I don’t want to wait longer than I have to.”

Yoongi would be lying if he said he couldn’t understand her urgency. That was the whole problem. He was worried her urgency would lead to making unwise decisions. “I get it, but just make sure Taehyung and Jimin approve of your future spouse, yeah? For safety reasons.”

Jeongguk pouted, looking at him with her best puppy eyes. “So you don’t want to marry me either?”

“I just– Wouldn’t it be inappropriate, Jeongguk-ah? I’m four years older than you–”

“Four and a half years, technically,” Jeongguk added (un)helpfully.

“I’m your best friend’s brother. What would your friends say?”

Humming, Jeongguk scrunched up her nose. “Hyung, I’m not asking you to spend the rest of your life with me. This wouldn’t be a real marriage. I could even draw up a contract for us.” Her eyes were so wide now they looked like giant marbles. “Can’t you imagine being married? For one year?”

Swallowing, Yoongi’s eyes flickered away from Jeongguk’s face. Can’t you imagine being married?

Almost a year ago, he could. Almost a year ago, he couldn’t imagine not marrying Yijeong. He had the ring and Yijeong’s parents’ blessing – but evidently, he didn’t have Yijeong’s heart. Now, he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to get into a relationship again, let alone get married.

But this was Jeongguk, and this wouldn't be a normal marriage. It would actually be quite beneficial to him. And if he was the one to marry Jeongguk, they didn’t need to worry about a stranger trying to scam her.

Sighing, Yoongi let his chin drop to his chest. “I’ll think about it, okay? I’m not saying no. I just need to think it through.”

“That’s all I ask for,” Jeongguk replied with a smile so bright, Yoongi knew it was going to be damn hard to say no. If he even had the heart to say no in the end.

Before Yoongi could say anything else, Seokjin declared the speed dating over. The next phase was some mingling before the match-up. Everyone handed in their forms for the staff to quickly analyse - the staff being mainly Seokjin with some help from Namjoon. For a bit, Jeongguk and Yoongi stood near the bar and watched the mingling from afar. Yoongi wasn't keen on doing any more small talk, and it looked like Jeongguk’s social battery was nearly drained as well.

“I’m just gonna–” Jeongguk pointed in the direction of the restrooms. “I’ll be right back.”

“Hey, psst!” Yoongi preemptively rolled his eyes before turning to Seokjin who was not-so-discreetly waving him over. He didn’t want to risk Seokjin being even more ridiculous so he made his way to the host.

“Yes?”

“You didn’t fill out your form,” Seokjin scolded with raised eyebrows, and hit Yoongi in the chest with his empty form.

Shocker. “I don’t want to be matched up with anyone.”

Seokjin took a deep breath as if he needed to calm himself down, but Yoongi knew he did that on purpose. “I need you to fill it out, though.” He leaned in a little closer and lowered his voice. “No one asked to be matched up with Jeongguk and it breaks my poor, cold heart. So just write down her name real quick.”

Now, Yoongi wanted to argue that he really didn’t think Jeongguk would care that much. But out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Jeongguk coming out of the restrooms, so he grabbed the form and pen out of Seokjin’s hands. In lightning speed he wrote his own name and Jeongguk’s on the paper and shoved it back to his friend.

Out of breath for no good reason, he turned back to Jeongguk just in time. “Hi.” Jeongguk tilted her head and looked between him and Seokjin. “Ah, hyung just told me that we got matched up.”

An expression of relief washed over Jeongguk, and Yoongi was suddenly happy he filled out the form after all. “Oh! Nice.”

Yoongi’s eyes flitted over to Sungkyung, who was in conversation with another woman while also glancing to the exit every now and then. She had the right idea. “Hey, now that we’re matched, do you wanna head home?” Yoongi shot a conspiratorial grin at Jeongguk. “If we leave together, we’re not being rude by leaving early, don’t you think?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re right.” She looked at everyone else and rolled her shoulders a little. “Yeah, I’d like to go home.”

As soon as they said goodbye in front of the bar – Jeongguk suddenly seemed full of energy now that they were alone – Yoongi bit the bullet and called his brother. He knew Taehyung would annoy him with questions anyway so he just wanted to get it over with.

“Hold on, hold on, I’ll put you on speaker,” Taehyung said in lieu of greeting him. “Jimin-ah, the candles can wait. Yoongi hyung has called to give us an update.”

“Let me know if you need me to add our parents to the call,” Yoongi replied in a mocking tone. Then, he realised who he was talking to. “That was a joke, let’s not.”

He swore he could hear Taehyung mumble something akin to ‘party pooper’ and suddenly wished there was a way to strangle him through the phone. “Whatever you say, hyungnim. How was it?”

Yoongi pursed his lips. “It was less humiliating than I thought, but I can’t say I ever want to go again.” Taehyung didn’t need to know that he planned on messaging Sungkyung, even if just to find out whether she managed to escape early as well. “I can’t speak for Jeongguk’s enjoyment, but she was happy to leave early with me.”

“Did she not find anyone to marry, then?” Jimin asked. Yoongi couldn't tell whether he sounded worried or delighted.

“About that…” It was now or never. Yoongi needed someone to tell him what an absolutely stupid idea it was to marry Jeongguk. “Do you–”

“Aish, hyung, of course, you have my blessing,” Taehyung interrupted him.

Yoongi wavered in his step, almost tripping over his own feet. “What?”

“You have my blessing to marry Jeonggukie.” Oh. “Jiminie and I’ve been talking about it. You’re the best fit. You know you can trust Jeongguk not to scam you, and we can trust you not to hurt her. And didn't you tell me you might have to move back in with Eomma and Appa because you barely manage to pay rent these days? I can’t think of a single reason why you shouldn’t marry Jeongguk.”

A second ago, Yoongi could’ve counted quite a lot of reasons, but suddenly he didn’t remember any. “Well. I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be weird?”

There was some rustling on the line and then Jimin’s voice was so loud, Yoongi was sure he put his mouth right onto the microphone. “I beg of you, please tell me exactly why it would be weird.”

This felt like a death threat. Jimin could be quite scary. Once he kicked Yoongi so hard in the shin that he saw stars - it didn’t matter that Taehyung had been the intended target. “Umm, I mean,” Yoongi replied eloquently, “I just…”

Jimin sighed. “If this is about Yijeong hyung–”

“It is not about–”

“Then what is wrong with allowing yourself to do Jeongguk this favour? It’s one year where you don’t have to worry about money. One year, you can use to save up.”

Now that Jimin put it like that, Yoongi was almost upset it was only for one year. Worrying about money ranked as his top cause of anxiety for the last five years. He’d love to worry about something else for once. “Do you think Jeongguk would want me to marry her?”

Jimin and Taehyung only laughed at that.

Yoongi and Jeongguk got married in June, only a few weeks after the speed-dating event. When Jeongguk told him that one of his aunts was planning a big event, Yoongi waved it off. After all, he didn’t think they’d want to spend that much money on the wedding of a family member they looked down on. He learned very quickly that the richer you were the more money you spent on being petty.

The ceremony itself was quick and Yoongi was glad that Jeongguk had them practise their first kiss. Yoongi dipped him away from the guests and Jeongguk covered their faces with his hands just enough for no one to know that only the tips of their noses brushed. And just like that, they were married.

Yoongi’s family didn’t attend the wedding for obvious reasons, but Jeongguk’s mother didn’t appear either - she wasn’t well-liked by Jeongguk’s paternal family. He guessed that meant she was too nice for them, and he hoped to meet her one day. Thankfully, the wedding wasn’t set up for the guests to talk to the happy couple. The only interaction was the family photos that were being taken.

“I hear your family is piss poor,” was the first thing Jeonghyun – Jeongguk’s older brother and a very charming man – said to him as they stood next to each other on the stage. This was, of course, an exaggeration but to a rich man like Jeonghyun, every family that didn’t bathe in money was likely considered ‘piss poor’. “That’s how Jeongha got you to marry her, right?”

“No, that’s just how you found your lovely wife,” Yoongi shot back with a smile. He didn’t correct him about Jeongguk’s name or pronouns since he was asked not to. Jeongguk didn’t want to start arguments again. It didn’t matter to any of his family members or family friends.

Jeonghyun clicked his tongue. “If you’re trying to sleep your way up, so to speak, I hope you know that marrying Jeongha is social suicide.” Yoongi was too stunned to reply immediately. “She’s part of this family only in name. She is the gum stuck to our shoes, she is the dirt–”

“She is my wife,” Yoongi said with so much force, he could feel Jeongguk flinching next to him. If he wasn’t listening before, he was surely eavesdropping on their conversation now. “But you are right, she’s not really part of your family. Because apparently you lot have peas for brains. Jeongha is the only good person in this room and she’s my family now.” It felt a bit dramatic to announce but his blood was boiling, even after he turned away.

Jeongguk looked at him with wide eyes. He looked so pretty in the white, poofy dress he was wearing. It didn’t seem to be something he chose for himself, but it was gorgeous nonetheless. Yoongi’s heart clenched painfully. Jeonghyun was his brother. How could someone say such awful things about their own younger sibling? Yoongi loved to complain about Taehyung and his many oddities, but at the end of the day there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his brother.

He reached out to gently place a hand on the small of Jeongguk’s back. Yoongi would make sure he knew what family he truly belonged with if he wished to. Jeonghyun and the rest of the bunch could go straight to hell.

Almost as soon as they got their official marriage certificate, Jeongguk ran to his grandmother’s lawyer to cash in the first half of his inheritance. He and Yoongi agreed they didn’t need a huge apartment, and yet they ended up with a three-bedroom and two-bathroom apartment. Out of all the options, Jeongguk chose it because it was partly furnished, and it was near the Han River Park. He really hoped Yoongi would like the apartment even though his husband – oh, it felt strange and funny to call him that – told him he’d be content with whatever Jeongguk chose.

Jeongguk’s boxes were already stacked up in their new living room when Yoongi shouldered open the front door with a wince. He placed the box he was carrying down, and for a moment, he just stared and smiled at the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Pretty, right?” Jeongguk asked, biting the inside of his cheek. He chose good, right?

“Yeah, it’s–” Yoongi cut himself off at the sound of Bam’s paws on the floor. The dog had previously been sniffing out one of the bedrooms, but the sound of a new person was enough to recall him. “You have a dog.”

Jeongguk softly called for Bam to pet him on the head, before Yoongi’s words registered. “Wait, you didn’t know I have Bam?”

Yoongi pulled his eyebrows together. “I’m not sure.” His hand moved to massage his left shoulder. “But I don’t mind, I’m cool with dogs.”

“If he ever annoys you, just send him to my room,” Jeongguk replied as he watched Yoongi’s fingers dig into his muscles. “You okay? I can help you carry some boxes.”

Humming, Yoongi nodded before he froze. Jeongguk waited patiently to see what Yoongi was thinking so hard about. “Listen, I might have omitted something as well,” he said sheepishly, his eyes not meeting Jeongguk’s. “If it’s a dealbreaker–”

“Is it your shoulder? Are you hurt?”

Yoongi grimaced. “Yeah, but that’s not– I have chronic migraines,” he replied. “I’m in pain more days than I’m not, and since we live together you should know. It can get pretty bad, and I don’t want you to worry.”

If he was honest, Jeongguk didn’t know a lot about migraines. But he knew they were headaches but worse, which sounded no fun at all. “So what is it? Is it bad or do I not need to worry?”

“Usually it’s– listen, there will be days where you won’t see much of me because I need to sleep it off or can’t do anything that is too exhausting. But sometimes it gets so bad that I have to throw up, and I’ve passed out before as well. I just… if you don’t see me for a few days it would be nice if you checked that I was still breathing.”

Blinking, Jeongguk allowed himself to work through that information. He understood now why Yoongi was worried this was a dealbreaker. Taehyung had never mentioned anything about Yoongi’s migraines so he must deal with them on his own a lot. Jeongguk could relate, he pulled away from people when he had meltdowns. But sometimes it was easier to know someone was looking after him. “We’re married now, I’ll take care of you.”

“You don’t have to.” Yoongi still wasn’t looking at him but there was a blush creeping up his neck.

“Let’s get the rest of your stuff,” Jeongguk replied instead of arguing about his duties as a spouse. “You’ll take the master bedroom, I’m fine with one of the guest rooms.”

Quickly, Yoongi grabbed Jeongguk’s arm before he could leave the apartment. “No, no, take the master bedroom.”

“No, I won’t. I made you marry me, you get the master.”

Narrowing his eyes, Yoongi shook his head. “But you’re giving me this amazing place to live, the least I can do–”

“I’m not moving into the master,” Jeongguk said with finality. When Yoongi didn’t budge either, he sighed. “Well, how about you turn the master into your studio? Look.” He gently took the hand that was still on his arm and pulled Yoongi towards the master bedroom. “Your bedroom can be the guest room right over here and mine will be across the apartment. You can use this bathroom as well.” He motioned the three doors at this end of the hallway. His bedroom would be connected to the living room.

Yoongi cocked his head. “Doesn’t that mean you get the bedroom with the veranda?”

Theatrically, Jeongguk put a hand on his chest. “A price I am willing to pay.”

Jeongguk didn't know what was worse: living with autism or living with Yoongi. Well, that was an exaggeration. Neither situation was terrible per se, but the combination of both made the first few weeks of cohabitation hell (or something akin to hell but less dramatic).

Of course, Jeongguk knew that there were some things she needed to be done a certain way. She put sugar and cocoa powder in her coffee but the sugar was scooped first. She listened to music while in the shower, and she couldn’t start taking off clothes until she decided on the playlist, even if that took a while. She sorted the things in her fridge by the best-before date. When eating a meal, she figured out what part was her favourite and saved it for the last bites. She was particular, and she knew it.

For some reason, she didn’t realise how used she was to living on her own and getting to do things her way. She had lived with her family for years, surely, living with Yoongi wouldn’t be a problem.

Except…

Except Yoongi liked tangerines, even in summer, and now the kitchen smelled citrusy. Except Yoong put the dishes into the dishwasher differently than Jeongguk. Except Yoongi had a tea collection and Jeongguk couldn’t figure out how it was sorted. Except Yoongi cooked dinner for the two of them on days that Jeongguk wanted to cook.

None of these things were a criminal offence. Jeongguk was just bad with change, especially if she didn’t have enough time to prepare for it. At least once a day, Jeongguk found something Yoongi did and she just… got angry. That’s what she hated the most, the sheer rage that overcame her. Logically, she knew she wasn’t really angry. Her brain didn’t know how to process emotions properly sometimes, so it switched to anger. She knew better than to let it out at Yoongi, but all of that anger made her incredibly frustrated which made her even angrier - just this time at herself.

Why couldn’t she react like a normal person? Why couldn’t she handle Yoongi’s habits without feeling like Yoongi was out to get her? Why did she think this was going to be easy in the first place?

It all came to a head when she came home from the gym one evening to Yoongi cooking. Again.

“Hey, Jeongguk-ah,” Yoongi greeted her with a smile. “I’m making jjapaguri with steak.”

Jeongguk stared at the steak. She couldn’t do this. “I’m autistic,” she blurted, making Yoongi turn to her in confusion.

“I know,” he replied slowly. “Was Tae not allowed to tell me? He told me years ago.”

“No, it’s–” Jeongguk balled her hands into fists, squeezing her fingers as hard as she could. “I have routines. I have plans. I just went to the gym, so I’m supposed to cook tonight.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrows. “Oh, you don’t need to eat with me, if you don’t want to.”

Sighing, Jeongguk released his fingers before squeezing them again. “I want to, but that wasn’t on my agenda, so I’m gonna be frustrated before I can be happy about it.” Yoongi nodded as he flipped the steak. “It’s been happening a lot. You do all these things that I’m not used to, and it’s really hard for me. I don’t wanna be an annoying roommate who insists on you catering to my needs.”

“Well, part of living together is compromising.” Yoongi smiled at him gently. “The cooking thing we can solve quite easily. We could make a plan where I cook every Monday and Wednesday for example–”

“My routines aren’t the same every week,” Jeongguk interrupted. “But I get groceries every Sunday.”

“Then we’ll go together.” He turned off the stove and turned to Jeongguk. “Every Sunday we’ll get groceries together, and plan who cooks on what night. Does that work?”

Tilting her head, Jeongguk thought about it. By Sunday, she usually had a good idea of what her work schedule would look like, and having another person coming up with meal ideas would be great. “Sounds perfect.”

These were the things Yoongi knew about Jeongguk before their wedding: he was something along the lines of genderfluid and switched between he/she pronouns, he was autistic, he was quiet in group settings but Yoongi could always hear him laugh loudly through the walls of Taehyung’s room, he went to university with Taehyung but dropped out and worked as a voice actor now, he respected Yoongi and Taehyung’s parents and in turn their house was a safe space for him.

Of course, living together unearthed a whole new list of things Yoongi got to learn about Jeongguk: he sang in the shower (and his voice was beautiful), he liked doing the dishes even though they had a dishwasher, he was a great cook, he looked angry when he ate delicious food, he wore toe socks and sleeves that gave him sweater paws, he almost always had headphones on his head or around his neck and he liked collecting things.

Jeongguk clearly was a person with many interests, but Yoongi was able to figure out his main interests quite quickly, the second he caught a glimpse of his bedroom. He had a whole bookcase full of his IU merch - albums, photocards, lightsticks, keychains, and more. Yoongi thought he saw some other kpop idols in there as well, but IU seemed to be a favourite. He also counted at least five Spider-Man figurines, as well as Ariana Grande merch. Now, Yoongi was a bit of a nerd as well, so he didn’t judge anyone for what fandom they might be a part of. It was rather fun to learn about Jeongguk’s interests in passing.

One night, about a month into their marriage, Yoongi was about to sneak back into his studio after a bathroom break, when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. He paused and looked around the corner into the living room. Jeongguk was in his own world with his headphones blasting music loud enough for Yoongi to hear it. He had his eyes closed and to his defence, he wasn’t singing out loud, and only mouthed the words to the song (which you could still hear.)

It felt like the first time Yoongi ever saw Jeongguk unmasked. Even when he was at home, he was still holding himself back, almost as if he was performing. Even when they were having dinner together and joking around, Yoongi could tell he didn’t see all of Jeongguk. This moment right here, felt closer to the real Jeongguk.

And for exactly that reason, Yoongi hadn’t lingered, and just walked back to his studio. He really liked Jeongguk as a person, but he didn’t want to witness a side of him that Jeongguk didn’t voluntarily show him.

Another thing that Yoongi hadn’t necessarily expected was how Jeongguk seemed to seek out his company. When Yoongi was the one cooking, Jeongguk would help out or simply hover next to him. When Yoongi was watching tv, Jeongguk sat with him at the other end of their huge sofa. The thing was… Yoongi liked being alone. He needed his space away from everyone else even if the other person was just sitting in silence. But he didn’t have the heart to send Jeongguk away - it felt like scaring a wild animal on purpose.

Today, though, Yoongi was at his limit.

He had a migraine, which wasn’t so unusual, he’d had this episode since two days ago, but he hadn’t been listening to his body well. He thought the little bit of pain he felt this morning would go away on its own. He was naive. Instead, the pain moved from a light pounding in the back of his head to his left eye where it was now throbbing as if there was a tiny person poking into his nerves.

He took pain meds of course, albeit too late. If he was lucky, they’d kick in at some point during the evening, but most likely he’d have to take another dose before he went to bed and hope for the best. Until then, he’d be in pain, grumpy and nauseous.

Which was how he found himself lying on the sofa, curled in on himself with his eyes closed, while the TV was running on low volume. He wasn’t actually planning on falling asleep, but sometimes if he acted like he was going to sleep, he could trick his body into keeping the pain down just a little.

When the sofa moved slightly as Jeongguk sat down, Yoongi almost cried. He just wanted to lie here and suffer. He didn’t have the energy to keep Jeongguk company. Yes, he could’ve laid down in his bed in the first place or on the sofa in his studio, but still… Whatever comfort Jeongguk felt around Yoongi, he couldn’t give it to him right now. Fortunately for Jeongguk, he also didn’t have the energy to say anything. Not even when he realised it was Thursday, and they had agreed that Yoongi would make them dinner tonight.

Jeongguk was silent as well, but he could hear him playing on his switch. The clicking of the controller was loud enough to register and be a little annoying to Yoongi but he tried to focus on the show running on the tv.

It worked as well as it ever did when he had a migraine episode.

This was the truth of having a migraine – at least his truth. When he told people he had migraines, most just thought of headaches and didn’t take it that serious. Everyone had headaches. But Yoongi got shoulder pain that radiated into his neck until it reached the space between his left eyeball and eyebrow. He got nauseated from the pain until his body couldn’t handle it anymore. Every light source was too bright and every sound too loud. It felt like his brain was trying to implode.

Yoongi admittedly felt guilty, when Jeongguk got up to make dinner. Though that only lasted until the sounds from their open kitchen made it to the sofa. With a quiet huff, Yoongi moved his arms up to cover his ears to muffle the clanking of pots. Maybe in a few hours the pain would subside and he could get up and make himself dinner.

“Hyung?” There was a hand gently touching Yoongi’s shoulder and when he blinked his eyes open, Jeongguk was hovering over him. “Can you sit up? I made dinner.” Swallowing his nausea down, Yoongi slowly sat up. Whenever he moved his head too quickly, it felt like his brain was sloshing around his head. “I made samgyeopsal.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi mumbled, his fingers rubbing at his temples. Jeongguk placed a tray on Yoongi’s lap. He had to admit dinner smelled so amazing that his stomach stopped feeling as nauseous. “I can eat on my own, I’m not a kid.”

Jeongguk handed him chopsticks and sat down next to him with a tray of his own. “I didn’t say anything.” He did watch Yoongi though, which was valid since he was eating quite slowly.

After dinner, Yoongi started feeling a little better. Sometimes the secret to overcoming the pain was giving his stomach something to work with (and other times it was the thing that made it worse). Nevertheless, maybe Jeongguk wasn’t so horrible to have around during a migraine episode.

As it turned out, Jeongguk’s family announced their marriage in a few of the local newspapers. It wasn’t a surprise to Yoongi that people still read those, he himself had a subscription to an online newspaper, he just didn’t realise people still announced anything in there. He especially didn’t expect Jeongguk’s family to flaunt their marriage around – what with him being a bit of a lowlife in their eyes.

He kind of wished that someone told him about the announcement, because maybe he would’ve been less shocked to get a text message from a contact named ‘DO NOT CALL’ (thanks, Taehyung) towards the end of July.

Hey, a friend found an announcement of your wedding in the newspaper. Is it true? Did you really get married?

Getting Yijeong’s message was one thing. Agreeing to meet up with him to catch up was another, and Yoongi truly didn’t understand how he allowed himself to be roped into it. A part of him wanted closure, as if moving out of their shared apartment hadn’t been closure enough. But Yijeong had asked to get some coffee together and Yoongi couldn’t say no.

His heart stopped for a moment when he noticed Yijeong walking into the café. He didn’t look much different, which made it worse. He still looked like the Yijeong that Yoongi had loved. Still loved to some degree.

“It’s so nice to see you,” Yijeong said softly as he sat down with his coffee. “You look well, Yoongi-yah.”

Yoongi swallowed. “Thanks,” was all he could get out. This was a bad idea. He didn’t need to see Yijeong again to remind him of all he lost. He should’ve told Taehyung about this meeting because his brother would’ve chained him to his side to keep him from going.

“So…” Yijeong stared at him until he realised Yoongi wasn’t going to say anything. “You and Jeongha? Taehyung’s friend, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, me and Jeongguk.” Yoongi’s fingers fidgeted with his wedding ring. He hadn’t really worn it since the wedding, but he was glad to have grabbed it on his way out. Yijeong was looking at the ring as well, his eyebrows pulled together.

“When did you… I mean, you’ve known each other a long time, so did you… while we were together?”

Yoongi took a long sip of his coffee to calm himself. “You really think I would cheat? You think I would cheat on you and still propose?”

Huffing, Yijeong slouched in his seat. “I don’t know what to think. A year ago, you wanted to marry me, and now suddenly you’re married to someone else. I didn’t even know you were dating again. Did you elope? Was this like a drunk wedding thing?”

“Yijeong-ah, you broke up with me. I don’t have to update you about my life anymore,” Yoongi said slowly. This really just confirmed that Yijeong had been keeping tabs on him – even if it was through friends. Yoongi only tried staying updated on Yijeong’s life for a month or two before he realised it was only breaking him more. “All you need to know is that I didn’t have feelings for Jeongguk while we were dating. What happened after that is between me and her.”

“I just– I really don’t understand how you went from wanting me–”

“Well, you didn’t want me back, did you?” Yoongi was turning the knife in his heart himself now. “I proposed because I loved you and you said no. I told you I’d still stay with you anyway and you said no.” Their conversations following the failed proposal were still echoing around in Yoongi’s head. The way Yijeong had looked at him, the way he had shied away from him. “You said thinking about a future with me felt like someone was closing a hand around your throat.”

“And you said you couldn’t imagine being with anyone but me,” Yijoung shot back, his voice full of betrayal.

Yoongi wanted to laugh. He also wanted to curl into a ball and cry. “Either you want to be with me, or you have to accept that I’m moving on.” If this conversation had happened many months ago, maybe Yoongi would’ve been less stubborn. But Yoongi wasn’t waiting for Yijeong to take him back anymore. “You already made the decision, now you have to live with it.”

Yijeong looked down at the table. His long eyelashes casted shadows on his cheekbones. Yoongi used to count his eyelashes. He used to kiss those cheekbones and brush his fingers through that dark hair. How could someone so beautiful, someone who brought out the best in Yoongi, be so cruel to him at the same time? How could Yoongi have been so sure of their relationship when Yijeong felt so much doubt? “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

In what world was a wedding announcement a cry for help? Well, maybe in a world where Yoongi was still processing his last relationship and definitely was nowhere close to being emotionally ready for marriage with someone else. Yijeong did have a point to be concerned about him. It just wasn’t his business. “I’m okay.”

“I have some things of yours like shirts and stuff that got mixed up when I moved out,” Yijeong said, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s in a box in my car. I could drop you off at your apartment if you want.”

“Ah, no, you really don’t have to. I can just–”

“No, no, I insist.” To others, Yijeong’s smile might have looked sweet, but Yoogi could tell there was something else. Just as he knew, he wouldn’t be able to talk himself out of this.

He sighed. “Alright.”

Humming, Jeongguk ran her thumbs in circles on Bam’s forehead. She had given him face massages since he was a puppy, but not just because he enjoyed it. It was also a way for Jeongguk to calm down. Bam was trained to recognise when Jeongguk was overstimulated or had a flare of anxiety. Whenever that was the case, Jeongguk would find a spot to sit down and Bam draped himself over her legs.

Jeongguk had been overstimulated since she woke up this morning to a text from her agent, Dahyun. Previously, her agent had told her about a voice-acting gig for a new animated series. She’d said that Jeongguk pretty much had it in the bag but now suddenly Dahyun added multiple auditions to Jeongguk’s schedule without warning.

The whole thing had set Jeongguk on edge. She accidentally added too much milk to her coffee and spilled soy sauce on her pants. The cherry on top was bumping her elbow into a doorknob. It felt like the entire world had conspired against her and she only realised she was close to a meltdown when Bam nudged her until she sat in the middle of her bedroom.

Now, they were having some well-earned cuddling time – until it was interrupted by the front door getting unlocked.

Bam’s ears instantly perked up, listening for Yoongi’s footsteps. It was adorable how attached her dog had gotten to Yoongi, even if Yoongi kept acting grumpy around Bam because he was ‘a cat person’. Jeongguk was going to make sure he caved eventually.

Laughing, Jeongguk gently slapped Bam and urged him to get up. “Go say hi, baby.” When Bam scrambled away happily, Jeongguk followed him in case Yoongi needed to be saved by her eager puppy.

“Hi, Bam-ie. Don’t worry, he’s nice.” Jeongguk frowned at Yoongi’s words until she rounded the corner, and noticed he hadn’t come home alone. Standing next to him with a small box in his arms was… Yijeong.

Jeongguk had met Yijeong a couple of times since he and Yoongi dated for a long time, and Yijeong had attended a few family dinners where Jeongguk was present. She couldn’t remember if they ever talked, though. All she remembered was that suddenly Yijeong wasn’t brought up anymore, and Taehyung told him the breakup was horrible for Yoongi. Naturally, Jeongguk hadn’t brought it up after that.

“Oppa?” Jeongguk looked at Yoongi questioningly. She wasn’t sure what Yoongi had told Yijeong.

Yoongi’s smile almost looked relieved. “Yeobo, there you are.” He reached out for her and without hesitation, she let him pull her into his side. She may work in voice acting, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t act in a more traditional sense.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Jeongguk said with a pout and, okay, maybe she slipped into one of her acting voices. It was close to her natural voice tone though, Yijeong probably wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Yijeong-ah, I know you’ve met, but this is my wife.” Yoongi’s hand was soft on Jeongguk’s waist, reminding her of their wedding day. They hadn’t been this physically close since.

Jeongguk put on her brightest smile even if it felt like a grimace. If Yijeong truly had broken Yoongi’s heart as badly as Taehyung had hinted at, it was nothing short of cruel for him to meet with Yoongi again. “It’s nice to see you, Yijeong-ssi. What brings you here?”

Stunned, Yijeong looked at her. “Oh, I found some things of Yoongi’s.” He gestured to the box in his hands.

“That’s so kind of you,” Jeongguk replied, taking the box herself. “Listen, I’d ask you to stay, but I promised Yoongi’s parents we’d come over for dinner. You know how it is with in-laws.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, of course.” Yijeong looked between Yoongi and Jeongguk for a moment, before he stepped backwards. “I’ll see you around?”

Yoongi sighed. “I’m not sure about that.”

When Yijeong was finally gone, Jeongguk turned to her husband with raised eyebrows. “What was that?”

“Thank you for playing along,” Yoongi said quietly and grabbed the box from Jeongguk’s hands. “You didn’t have to.”

Jeongguk frowned, dropping her arms. It very much felt like she had to. If their places had been switched, she would’ve been humiliated if Yoongi didn’t play along. She didn’t always understand social cues, but this was quite clear. There was no way Jeongguk would’ve left him hanging. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

At first, Yoongi didn’t reply and just set the box down. He rolled his neck, winced, and walked over to the sofa. Jeongguk followed him hesitantly, not sure if she was supposed to leave him alone. Bam didn’t have such qualms. He wiggled his way over to Yoongi, and laid his head on Yoongi’s knee.

Smiling, Yoongi started petting the dog. “Yijeong accused me of cheating on him,” he said, his tone playful as if he was talking to Bam. Maybe he was. Jeongguk decided to stay anyway. “The idea of me finding someone else to love and marry in such a short time was so wild to him that the only logical explanation is that I cheated on him all along.”

Jeongguk cocked her head. “That’s unfair but you did marry me for the money, so I’m not sure if he would like the truth any better.”

“The point is that he’s not supposed to care anymore,” Yoongi replied in his normal voice now. “It’s none of his business who I kiss or sleep with or marry. He made it none of his business.”

“Why did you break up?” Jeongguk asked and sat down next to him. Bam took this as his opportunity to arrange himself so both Yoongi and Jeongguk could pet him. He was a very smart dog. “I know this might be insensitive, and you can tell me as much or little as you want.”

Yoongi blew out a long breath. “We met in college. We were together for eight years. We lived together. I thought– I loved him more than anything, and I know he loved me. My parents liked him and his parents liked me. Everything was perfect. So I proposed because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted the marriage, the house with a picket fence, and the happily ever after. I thought he wanted the same.”

“He didn’t?”

“He felt like marriage would be a sacrifice and a commitment he didn’t want to make.” Yoongi let out a dry laugh. “Yijeong spent eight years with me, but add legal documents to that and he draws the line. And yes, I know, marriage is a patriarchal construct that shouldn’t be upheld, and it’s not about that. It wasn’t about marriage for me. It was about being together. But he said no to the proposal, and suddenly he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with me at all.” He looked down at his fingers running over Bam’s fur. “He was scared he wasted his youth stuck in one relationship; stuck with me. He said if he stayed with me, he’d forever wonder what he was missing out on.”

Jeongguk pulled her eyebrows together. She never really let herself regret things. Well, okay, that was a lie. She regretted some things but the big things – the big decisions – she didn’t allow herself to regret. She had anxiety about a lot of small things, and if she added to that the weight of wrong decisions and wrong paths… she wouldn’t be able to handle that. So Jeongguk understood Yijeong’s thought process, but she couldn’t understand his final decision. The idea of blowing up your relationship and your whole life… nothing sounded scarier than that. If Yijeong truly loved Yoongi, there wouldn’t have been regrets, right?

“That sucks,” she said after a pause, because what else was there to say? It sucked. “Kind of explains why he’s still trying to be up in your business, though. You wanted to be married to him, and now you’re married to me. Yijeong just wants to know if he’s missing out. If he made the wrong decision.”

“I don’t think he did,” Yoongi replied with a sigh. “As awful as the breakup was, I prefer that over being with someone who isn’t sure about loving me.”

Nodding, Jeongguk bumped their shoulders together. “That’s the spirit. And you can see this as a trial marriage. If you can be married to me, you can be married to anyone.”

“I don’t know, being married to you doesn’t feel very hard.”

Rolling her eyes in amusement, Jeongguk got up. “Well, yeah, because we have an expiration date, and you don’t have to actually try.”

For a moment, Yoongi looked at her as if he wanted to say something but then he merely hummed and turned his attention back to Bam.

And that was the end of the conversation.

“The number you have dialled is not available at present. Please leave your message after the beep. Beep.”

“I’m not falling for that,” Taehyung replied, his voice almost bored. “Can you turn your camera on? I miss your face.”

Jeongguk sighed but she couldn’t say she didn’t miss Taehyung’s face. The last two weeks had been stressful for both of them. Jeongguk had a lot of recording sessions back to back, and Taehyung was neck deep in preparing for the winter semester to start. After getting his degree in psychology, Taehyung had decided to teach rather than to counsel anyone – probably because he had spent half of his life being Jeongguk’s emotional support friend.

She switched to a video call and propped the phone up on one of her pillows on the bed next to her. She technically had some chores to do but the day had left her low on energy, so she was playing video games instead.

“There’s my beautiful Jeonggukie,” Taehyung cooed dramatically. He was sitting on the sofa with his laptop, so he was either gaming as well or actually working.

Jeongguk laughed. “You can’t say this stuff anymore, oppa, I’m married now.” She lifted her left hand and wiggled it at her phone, even though her wedding ring was safe in her jewellery box.

“Speaking of, you can’t just tell me hyung met with Yijeong and then expect me not to have questions.”

“I expected you to have questions, but not to call me,” Jeongguk shot back, her eyes on her switch.

This time it was Taehyung’s turn to laugh. “Oh come on, how long have you known me? That’s a rhetorical question, let’s not do the math.” It was around 15 years. “Now, spill. You saw Yijeong today?”

Nodding, Jeongguk wiggled her toes. “He and Yoongi met up, and then they came to the apartment. Yijeong had a box of Yoongi’s things, like sweaters and stuff.”

“And?”

“And I kicked him out of the apartment?”

Taehyung hummed. “I raised you well. What was he doing anyway? I know hyung wouldn’t have reached out on his own.”

Jeongguk hesitated. She didn’t know what Yoongi wanted his brother to know. “He found out Yoongi got married and wanted to check in.”

“Oh, that bastard,” Taehyung replied with a sigh. “You know, I really liked him. Before all of this. He made Yoongi hyung happy. And then he made him absolutely miserable and I know, there are two sides to the story. I know people only blow up their relationship like that when they feel scared and cornered but… it’s my brother.” Jeongguk glanced over at her phone to find Taehyung with his fingers massaging his temples. “He’s the one who would crawl into my bed with me when I was sick, even though it was way too small for both of us. Did you know that he showed up at our place after the break up? He lived on our couch for two weeks. I’ve never seen him like it.”

Jeongguk didn’t know what it was like to live through a romantic heart break. But if it was anything close to how it felt to be reminded over and over again that your family didn’t care about you… it was tough. It was an infected wound that hurt like hell every time you moved wrong. “I don’t think Yijeong will come over another time,” Jeongguk said after a beat.

“He better.” Huffing, Taehyung closed the laptop on his thighs. “I don’t wanna become a meanie and come after him, but I will if I must.”

“I don’t think people who say meanie–” Jeongguk interrupted herself, when she heard a knock on her door.

Yoongi pushed open the door and poked his head in. He looked like he was just as exhausted as Jeongguk. “Hey, I ordered fried chicken for us. It’s gonna get here any minute.”

Jeongguk perked up. She didn’t realise that she was hungry, but just the thought of food made her stomach growl. “From the place I like?”

“Of course,” Yoongi replied with a small smile.

Grabbing her phone, Jeongguk scooted off the bed. “Taehyung oppa, I gotta go.”

“Yoongi hyung, you better call me about Yi-”

“Bye, oppa,” Jeongguk singsonged and hung up before shooting Yoongi an awkward smile. “I swear, I didn’t say a lot.”

Shaking his head, Yoongi waved her off. “He was gonna bug me about it either way.”

When the food arrived, they got comfortable on the rug in front of the coffee table. Yoongi set down plates and chopsticks for them, as Jeongguk inspected the chicken. She counted the pieces of fried chicken (and thanked her lucky stars when it was an even number), before carefully picking out the pieces she wanted to eat.

Jeongguk hated to admit it, but she was a picky eater. Technically she was open to all food, but it depended on how it was prepared, what it smelled like, and most importantly what the texture felt like in her mouth. Something could be incredibly delicious but if it felt weird on her tongue, she couldn’t eat it. In public, she usually tried to swallow it anyway because only toddlers were allowed to spit things out without getting strange looks – but at home, she didn’t force herself to eat anything her brain wouldn’t let her.

Only when she bit into her first piece of fried chicken, Jeongguk realised that Yoongi had been patiently waiting for her to finish her inspection. He did that a lot. Being patient with her. Jeongguk wasn’t used to that. Even Jimin and Taehyung teased her about her quirks sometimes. Yoongi asked questions sometimes, but he never seemed annoyed.

“You can tell me to shut up if you don’t wanna talk about this Yijeong thing anymore but–” Jeongguk stared at the chicken to avoid looking at Yoongi. “I have another question.”

Yoongi hummed. “Ask away.”

“What’s it like being in love with someone for a long time?”

“Well…” For a moment, Yoongi kept eating. Then he put his chopsticks down. “Wait, can you give me some context?”

Jeongguk pursed her lips. “I know what it’s like to be friends with someone for a long time. You know the person really well, but in general the feelings don’t get much stronger over the years. I love Taehyung as much as I did four years ago. But romantic love works differently, I think? At least that’s what media makes me believe.” She sighed and picked up another piece of chicken, turning it around just to double check it looked good. She trusted this restaurant and generally, the chicken was always good. “I think you’re supposed to love your partner more and more each day, but I don’t think that’s feasible. Granted, I don’t feel romantic attraction, but I’m sure love is not this bottomless pit so how can the love get more and where does it come from?”

She expected Yoongi to brush her off but when she finally looked at him, he seemed to actually think about her words. “I don’t think there’s a definite answer for this. But I can tell you about my experience,” he said after a moment. “Love and attraction aren’t the same thing, as you know, but one usually causes the other. Love doesn’t get exponentially stronger the longer you spend with someone. It’s a good sign if you don’t love them less over time but anything else is relative. In a relationship, feelings are bound to change. At the start you might still be nervous around each other, and then over time you get more comfortable.”

“How does romantic love feel different from friendship to you?”

“I suppose,” Yoongi raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, “in my opinion, it’s all about intention. Love is the base, like, umm, the seed, and intention is… okay, I don’t understand my own metaphor anymore. What I’m saying is that the love you have for a partner and the love you have for a friend isn’t necessarily different. It’s the intention behind the actions that makes the difference. Cooking for someone is romantic, right? But when I cook for you, it’s not, because I don’t intend to be romantic. Same goes for things like kisses.”

Jeongguk perked up at that. “That’s what I always say. Kissing doesn’t have to be romantic.” She nodded to herself, before pausing. “But intentions aren’t always clear to the other person. I wouldn’t know whether someone did something with romantic intentions.”

“That’s true,” Yoongi replied. “That’s not just you, though. We can’t look into someone’s head. We just need to trust our intuition.”

Jeongguk famously didn’t trust her intuition because she didn’t know how to. But Yoongi didn’t need to know that right now. That was a different can of worms. “Alright,” she said instead and continued eating dinner.

Sungkyung let out a low whistle as she looked out of the floor to ceiling windows in the living room. “Dude, I can’t blame you. I would’ve married Jeongguk for this view, too. And the money, of course.”

“I didn’t marry him for the money,” Yoongi replied out of instinct. When Sungkyung turned around to raise her eyebrows at him, he hesitated. “Well, okay, I guess I did.”

“I’m sure you also married him to help, because you’re a very selfless person.” With a laugh, Sungkyung sat down on the sofa and got comfortable in the same spot that Jeongguk usually frequented.

Yoongi hadn’t seen Sungkyung since they met at the speed dating event, but they texted every week. What had started with casual conversations about the people they dealt with at work, quickly turned into a genuine friendship. So of course, Yoongi invited her to the apartment. Especially because she promised to bring food from her parents’ restaurant.

Curiously, Sungkyung peered over the back of the sofa, where Bam was lying curled up in his bed. He had greeted her earlier, but while Yoongi had shown Sungkyung the rest of the apartment, he’d opted for napping instead. Whenever Jeongguk was out and about while Yoongi was home, Bam usually stayed close to him. Yoongi was even considering getting a dog bed for his studio so Bam could lie down there as well. “Didn’t you tell me you were a cat person?”

Yoongi laughed. “I am, but clearly I married a dog parent.” He looked at Bam as well, which garnered him a lazy tail wag from the dog. “Bam’s a good boy, though, aren’t you?” More tail wagging.

“You’re so whipped.” Sungkyung laughed. “Where’s your fake husband anyway?”

Shrugging, Yoongi settled on the sofa as well. “I’m not sure. He left before I came out of the studio earlier.”

“Speaking of.” Sungkyung’s lips pulled into a smile. “How’s work going? Produced any bangers recently?”

“I only produce bangers,” Yoongi replied sarcastically. “No, really, it’s going fine. I’m happy that I don’t need to stress about making rent but at the same time in less than a year, I will need to earn enough for rent again. It’s not like my health is getting any better.”

Sungkyung nodded in understanding. “So, you’ve started stressing about next year.”

“And it’s not helping my migraines,” Yoongi added with a sigh. “I get migraines when I’m stressed, and I get them when the stress is finally gone. It’s lovely.”

Pursing her lips, Sungkyung tilted her head. “I’m sorry, that sucks.”

“Anyway, two of my songs got actually picked up for some idol groups,” Yoongi said. Even though the idol industry was huge, he hadn’t really produced those types of songs. He usually produced for indie bands or smaller artists. “It’s making me think that maybe I should sign a contract with one of those companies. I could make some good money, I just don’t know if I can handle the workload they might ask of me.”

“Well, you could always try a smaller company. Might be less money, but maybe they treat producers more like people.” She sat up straighter. “That reminds me, though. The movie I shot recently is looking for a producer to help with the movie score. The producer they originally wanted dropped out for a bigger project. I know it’s not what you usually do, but I thought I’d ask.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrows. Producing music for a movie sounded fun, it was worth a shot. “If you give me the contact info of the filmmakers, I can check with them. Depending on their pitch, I might be able to help.”

Sungkyung grinned. “Oh, I’d love that. Imagine us having credits on the same movie.”

Laughing, Yoongi shook his head. “That’d be neat, yeah. What projects do you have lined up?”

“Well, there’s this commercial–” The sound of the door unlocking, made both of them pause. Jeongguk looked at them with wide eyes as he slipped out of his running shoes. He was wearing basketball shorts and a thin training jacket. Yoongi recognised this as his usual gym outfit.

“Hi, don’t mind me,” Jeongguk mumbled and headed to his room, before making his way to the bathroom shortly after.

“You said something about a commercial?” Yoongi nudged Sungkyung just before the water in the shower turned on.

“Yes, right.” She jumped back into telling him about her new projects. Her eyes lit up talking about various commercials and indie movies – it reminded Yoongi of Jeongguk whenever he mentioned his voice-acting gigs. They were both so passionate about their jobs that Yoongi wondered if he ever seemed that passionate to them. He loved music, he loved what he did, but these days it felt like his spark was getting lost amid all his struggles.

Sungkyung switched to explaining the background story of her most recent character when Jeongguk came out of the bathroom again. “She likes to pretend she’s tough but really–” Jeongguk’s shorts were even shorter now, and he was wearing a tank top as well. He was so… buff. Jeongguk spent all that time in the gym, and yet Yoongi never realised how buff he really was. To be fair, he usually wore oversized clothing, but they’d been living together for almost three months now, how had Yoongi not noticed? Would Jeongguk be able to lift Yoongi? He looked strong enough. Those thighs could probably crush–

Yoongi was startled when Sungkyung kicked him in the side. “Wha–”

“You were staring,” she whispered at him. Jeongguk had long disappeared into his bedroom.

Well, there was no denying it. “I’m just… umm.”

Sungkyung shrugged. “I get it. Your husband is hot. But you might wanna dial the staring down if you don’t want to turn this into a real marriage.”

“Haha,” Yoongi mumbled. He could find Jeongguk hot and live with him. This was fine. He already thought Jeongguk was pretty. So what? Jeongguk was pretty and hot and they were legally married. Everything was great.

“Bam?” Jeongguk called softly, leaning down to check under his bed. It was highly unlikely that Bam managed to get under there, but he was running out of places to check. A dog couldn’t just disappear in an apartment, right? He was big enough to jump up and open doors but he had never done that before.

When Jeongguk left for his recording session, Bam was in his crate in Jeongguk’s bedroom. Now, he was nowhere to be seen. Jeongguk looked back into the living area. Maybe Bam was hanging out with Yoongi? The door to his studio was ajar, but when Jeongguk peeked in, it was empty. That only left Yoongi’s bedroom.

Biting his lip, Jeongguk stood in front of Yoongi’s closed bedroom door. He didn’t want to disturb Yoongi, Bam might not even be with him. But if his dog wasn’t there, that was a whole different problem. Bothering Yoongi might actually be the lesser evil.

He gently knocked on the door. “Hyung?” Even though he put his ear to the door, he couldn’t hear anything. Slowly, he opened the door. At first, he thought the room was empty after all. It was almost completely dark, the only light source being a dim light on a dresser. But then Jeongguk noticed the lumps on the bed. One was Yoongi laying on his side, the other was Bam curled up right next to him. “Hyung, you okay?”

Yoongi made a sound low in his throat but didn’t open his eyes. So maybe, he was not okay.

“Migraine?” Jeongguk asked and walked up to Yoongi’s side. “Have you taken your meds yet?”

Blinking his eyes open, Yoongi frowned at him. “Not… recently,” he mumbled as one of his hands moved to rub his left eye.

“Where are–” Jeongguk’s eyes fell on the pile of meds on the nightstand. “Hold on.” He hurried to the kitchen to get Yoongi a cup of water with a straw. When he came back, Yoongi was waiting with a pill ready in his cupped hand. “Here.” Jeongguk squatted in front of him and held the cup to his face. “Don’t choke.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. He expertly took his meds and had some water. “Thanks.”

“You should drink more,” Jeongguk said softly, moving the cup so the straw was poking Yoongi’s lips.

“Can’t,” Yoongi mumbled and rolled onto his back. “Will puke.”

Frowning, Jeongguk set the cup down and reached out to touch Yoongi’s forehead. “You’re warm but–” He held his other hand against his own forehead to compare temperatures. “I don’t think it’s a fever.”

“Get warm during migraines,” Yoongi replied. When Jeongguk went to pull away, he held onto Jeongguk’s hand, pressing it against his face. “Your hand is cold.”

Jeongguk laughed. “My hands are always cold.” He had read once that it could have to do with anxiety. It could also be something much worse, but anxiety was more likely.

Humming, Yoongi closed his eyes. “My personal cooler.”

Bam at the foot of the bed let out a small huff. His chin was resting on Yoongi’s leg and he was watching them intently. It was cute. Jeongguk let himself take in the rest of Yoongi’s bedroom, now that his eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting. In comparison to Jeongguk’s room with shelves upon shelves with collectibles, Yoongi’s was quite empty. He did have a bookcase that was filled with books, CDs and a whole lot of records. There was also a matching record player on a small table. His walls were bare as well except for a cluster of photographs. From this side of the room, Jeongguk could make out one picture of Yoongi’s family and one that looked like Jimin and Taehyung.

Without a word, Jeongguk switched his hands, when the one on Yoongi’s forehead warmed up. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No, just,” Yoongi sighed, “stay.”

That, Jeongguk could do.

“YOONGI-YAH!” Startled, Yoongi pulled his phone away from his ear. Why, oh why, did his mother think it was a great idea to yell into a device you put right next to your ear?

“Good morning, Eomoni,” Yoongi replied as kindly as he could. It was already ten and he’d been up for a few hours, getting some work done in his studio. His mother calling was actually a welcome distraction. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Ya, you never call me anymore,” Sookja replied. “I was in labor for 20 hours. I raised you on my back. But now that you’re married, I’m just the, uh, hacked up kidney.”

Yoongi sighed. “Chopped liver, Eomma.”

“Whatever organ it is, I miss my boy.” Sookja tsked. “And how’s Jeonggukie?”

“She’s good.” Here was the thing. As willing as Yoongi had been to marry Jeongguk, he’d been very hesitant to tell his parents. They loved Jeongguk, and he knew they would approve, but it was quite unorthodox. So naturally, he made Taehyung tell them. Jeongguk was his friend first, he pushed Yoongi to agree to marriage, it was his responsibility.

His mother tsked again, when he didn’t say more. “You know, it’s almost September. Jeongguk’s birthday is coming up.”

Nodding, Yoongi switched his phone from his right hand to the left. “I’m aware.” He might as well continue going through his emails.

“Well, will you be coming over? I’d be happy to cook her birthday dinner?”

Raising his eyebrows, Yoongi stared at his computer screens. He hadn’t really talked to Jeongguk about her birthday plans. He got her a gift, of course, but he didn’t plan anything else. “Oh, I don’t– I’m sure she has plans already. But if not, I’ll let you know.”

“Aish, Yoongi-yah, you can’t hide your wife from us forever.” He could hear her rustling in the background. It sounded a lot like she was either cooking or cleaning the kitchen. “Listen. Appa and I understand you had to get married fast because of the inheritance thing. We understand why you didn’t invite us. But it still hurt a little not to witness my eldest son’s wedding.” Oh no, Yoongi did not want to start feeling bad about not inviting his parents to his shitshow of a wedding. “I don’t even understand why you had to keep your romance secret. When did you stop being comfortable introducing us to your partners? Especially, Jeongguk.”

Yoongi stopped breathing for a long moment. What had Taehyung done? What had he told them? Yoongi should correct her. He should tell her this was a strictly platonic marriage. And yet… She was clearly happy about Jeongguk being officially part of the family. Maybe this could be a problem for future divorced Yoongi. “Eomma, it’s just a little complicated. We’ve known each other for so long and then, you’re right, things sped up with the marriage. And you know Jeonggukie, I don’t need to introduce her to you guys.”

“My own son hates me,” Sookja mumbled to herself. “I was in labor for 22 hours.”

“Eomma, you can’t keep upping the number.” He laughed. When he was younger, she told him she was in labor for 12 hours. He had yet to find out the truth. “I’ll have to check with Jeongguk, but we can probably spend Chuseok with you. Would that be alright?”

Sookja actually cheered. “Yes, yes, we’d love that.”

After they ended the call, Yoongi switched to his messages with Taehyung. I will strangle you with one of your fancy ties.

Taehyung’s response came almost instantly. that’s kinky. only jimin gets to do that.

Groaning to himself, Yoongi got up and stretched. He hadn’t had a cup of coffee yet, so he could have some. Anything more than one cup usually gave him a migraine, but since he had been good with his caffeine intake these days…

He found Jeongguk in the kitchen heating up some leftovers. When she– no, he– noticed Yoongi, he slipped his headphones from his ears. “Do you want some as well?”

“No, I’m good, thank you.” Yoongi hesitated in front of the fridge before turning back to Jeongguk. “So, it turns out, Taehyung told our parents that we’re actually in love. Or at least, didn’t correct them.”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows. “And you didn’t correct them, either?” When Yoongi grimaced, he laughed. “Okay, yeah, I get it.”

“I also said we’d spend Chuseok together in Daegu,” Yoongi said sheepishly. “But if you don’t wanna act like a couple or you have other plans–”

“No, I’d love that.” Jeongguk’s lips pulled into a bright smile. “Eomma is gonna travel to Busan for Chuseok, so I was probably gonna spend it with your family anyway.”

Well, that solved that problem. Now, they’d just have to practise acting like an actual couple. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? After all, they only had to fool the people who’d known Yoongi all his life.