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Steve is from different era and that must explain his sweet words and behaviour, his treatment of Clint like he's the most sweetest thing ever. And Clint keeps frowning and laughing, doesn't want Steve to know how his heart warms up at the special, kind treatment. Because he's goddamn assassin and sniper and all around bad and rude and so not deserving Steve, whose everyones idol and the icon of Americas virtues and all the other good things that no-one can use to describe Clint.
But still when Clint puts the fresh pancakes on Steves plate the bigger man drags him closer by the waist and kisses him slowly and sweetly, in a way that makes his toes curl.
”Thank you, honey,” Steve mumbles against his mouth, smiling, before digging into his breakfast. Clint swats at the others blond head and goes to make more, grumbling, though inside he feels warm and loved and he's fighting a smile that he'd never let anyone see.
The sex is good and there is lots of it. Clint figures out that because his lover skipped having sex before he went to sleep (Tony makes sleeping beauty jokes and Steve just smiles and says it was worth it because now he has his darling boy to wake him up everyday) he's trying to catch up now. They have sex in their bedrooms and on some of the common rooms as well. Clint loves it, loves the attention and the act. But mostly he loves how Steve speaks to him during it. Even when they are fucking furiously against a wall he whispers encouragements and silly stuff that before would have made Clint roll around in laughter. Because no-one says stuff like that, except Steve and he makes it work.
”Do you feel me, darling? I'm so deep inside of you. You're such a pretty boy. I can't get enough of you,” The bigger man moans as he holds Clint against the wall, fucking him deeply after a mission. It's furious and rushed, and not the gentlest kind of sex because they are both still on adrenaline high. Steve holds him there so easily, his fingers bruising his hips and Clint knows he will have trouble walking tomorrow, but it's worth it. He loves the roughness of it and doesn't miss his previous partners and their filthy mouths. He prefers 'sweetheart' to 'filthy cockslut' anyday now. Now that he has Steve. And maybe before Steve as well, but he'd never know and he doesn't want to try it with anyone else anymore.
”Come on babe, don't be mad,” Steve laughs and tugs Clint closer on the couch. Clint huffs and makes a scene.
”I'm not a small child. You don't have to treat me like I'm a delicate thing,” he protests and tries to move away from the bigger man. But Steve, the bastard, just tugs at his arms more and the archer has no choice but to go with the flow or start using underhanded methods of getting away. And no matter how much he protest, when he's tugged in Steves side his arms around Clint, holding him close he really doesn't want to move. Steve is around him, holding him close, protecting him from the world as they watch the movie, occasionally kissing his hair. Clint still crumbles about being treated like a kid but actually nuzzles closer, taking in the warmth, basking in it.
”Shut up sweetcheeks,” he's using his Captain America voice, commanding Clint gently and squeezing his ass with one hand. A threat and promise rolled into one. The older man doesn't blush but wriggles a little at the groping. Steve says nothing, even when he throws a can of beer at Tony to make the genius shut up with his teasing. He marvels a little how everyone seems so okay their cuddling, despite Tonys teasing. Maybe that's why he settles down and enjoys the closeness of Steve and their team, without feeling selfconsius about showing his weak side.
Clint knows he has fucked up. The problem is he doesn't know how. He just knows that Steve doesn't want him anymore. There are no more 'darlings', 'sweethearts' or 'pretty boys'. Infact Steve avoids him in the tower and during missions he's cold, professional. Not that he used petnames during missions before but there were the occasional 'good shot' and 'thank you', thrown during the battles that made Clint beam and try even harder. Now there's nothing. Captain America barks orders and Hawkeye does as he's told. The archer is too scared to even snark as he had before. Steve can't hate him. He couldn't deal with it he was hated by the second man in his life that had made him feel good and loved. Clint avoids thinking about the first man who died bleeding on the Helicarrier. Natasha had stormed in his room the week before and demanded to know why he was making the biggest mistake in his life.
”I don't know what I did wrong. He just looked at me like I was beneath him one evening and hightailed the hell out of my room. Maybe he finally realised that I'm no match for good ol'e Captain America,” Clint snarls and drinks more of the bourbon in his hands. He glares at his hands and feels Natasha sigh and flops to sit beside him. ”Maybe he found some sweet young thing that deserves and wants all of his stupid cuddling and petnames.” But that isn't true, because Clint wanted the attention, the petting and the petnames. He just didn't know how to handle receiving them, reacting with mouthing of and protesting. Natasha just sits there, holds him as he shouts and cries in drunken rage when he finally knows how he fucked up. Clint sleeps with tiny russian woman wrapped around him on the couch.
Next morning, when he's puking his guts out, he thinks he owes Steve an apology. But he didn't have time to do that before they went off again, trying to save the world. Clint feels awfull, not just because of his hangover. He can work with pain and hangover and shit but not with the deep hopelesness that eats at him. He can't handle how Steve doesn't talk to him anymore. He tunes down the shouts and banter that goes on, focusing only at doing his best. Because if he's good, if he does his job with no backtalking and snarking Steve will take him back and call him 'darling boy' again. Maybe it's all of the things combined that make him miss the way the building crumbles beneath him. He hears Tonys terrified scream as he falls, firing his grabble arrow at the last possible moment, hoping it will stick. Then, Clint just holds on to his bow, apologising to Steve seconds before he hits the nearby building, knocking him out.
Waking up is horrible. He's in pain and dizzy and nauseuous. There are hands trying to hold him still but he can't help but fight back until he's on his side and puking. There are more hands rubbing at his back, soothing him. Clint hears the voice but doesn't recognize the words. He thinks he hears a halfmumbled plea of 'sweetheart' before he blacks out again.
The next time he wakes up it's for good and other than the aching all over his body he feels fine. He cracks his eyes open and finds two blue eyes staring right at him. There are dark bruises under Steves eyes and his face is set in a frown.
”Hey, Cap. What's wrong? You look like I killed your puppy,” Clint rasps out. Steve sighs and reaches forward to grasp Clints left hand, with the IV. The bastards forgot again about which arm to put it in.
”You're an idiot. And you're not going to do that again. You're much more important to me than some puppy.”
”Sorry but no. Putting my life at risk saving the world is kinda in my job description...” Steve huffs and leans closer taking hold of Clints jaw and making the archer look at him in the eyes.
”Not that. I know why you pushed me away. Natasha was kind enough to explain,” Clints eyes turn round in horror. Nat told his secrets? ”And next time just tell me. If it's something I do that you don't like just tell me. I can't handle being thrown out the way you did.” And Steve looks so heartbroken but still determined that Clint kicks himself mentally. He knew he was going to ruin this thing between them. But maybe he can save something still. With a deep breath, and it hurts his ribs but he'll try to not let that show, he closes his eyes. This will be easier if he doesn't look at Stece when he spills his guts out.
”I didn't. I mean I loved the way you acted with me. But I can't like it! I'm grown man, hell I'm older than you are! So I kinda... reacted badly. I never meant for you to think I don't like you or something like that. I just..”
”You couldn't admit that you liked being taken care of and being seen as the 'more fragile' one.” Steve finishes for him. And of course he does. In the last few months they have began to know eachother way too well for Clints liking, to what he's used to. And that is the reason that Clint began to sneak off after few rounds in bed and disappearing when there was a movie night.
”Yeah, kinda. And.. And I didn't want you too close. Didn't want you to replace Phil.” He mutters and opens his eyes just to see the sharp intake of breath Steve takes and moves away. He refuses to acknowledge that his heart clenches painfully.
”So you and Coulson?” Captain America asks, voice perfectly normal and even. Clint shakes his head.
”Not like that. But he was the first person I trusted wholly.. Who treated me like you do... Like I'm something worth to protect. No idea where he got the idea.” Clint mutters and starts to turn on his side, away from the blank face. He propably could see what the other thinks, Steve isn't trained to keep his emotions in check, but he doesn't want to. Doesn't want to know what the bigger man thinks, doesn't want him to see Steve look at him because he's pathetic and needy and so not worth for Steve. Then suddenly, there's a warm body by his side, wrapping him against strong chest. A small whine escapes between the archers lips when he's held softly, a big hand stroking his hair.
”You're worth everything to me. Don't ever think otherwise.” Steve mumbles and continues stroking his hair. Clint closes his eyes again and sighs.
”But I'm stupid asshole almost all the time. And I can't promise this won't be the last time I try to push you away.” Warm lips press against the side of Clints neck.
”Good thing I'm stubborn then, sweetheart,” Steve mutters and Clint sighs in happiness and relaxes, going limp. And Steve lets him and talks to him until the archer falls asleep.
When Clint opens his eyes again Steve is mumbling in his ear,half asleep, telling him how much he loves his sweet, darling boy. Clint smiles and rests back, waiting for him to wake up properly. Maybe it's okay to want this..