Chapter Text
The first time Natasha Romanoff met Maria Hill she tried to seduce her. There was leaning over the table, and batting of eyelashes and slightly dropped open jaw paired with longing glances. Commander Hill blinked at her, rapped her papers on the table and continued without pause.
It’s a game Natasha likes to think they’re playing.
It didn’t take years of learning how to read people to know she was Hill’s type in the most basic sense, so reason stated that at some point she would have Hill as putty in her hand.
She flirts and Hill looks up from her tablet a polite amount, the same way one might look at either a fly on the wall or a small toddler offering up a shitty home-made bead bracelet. Bored, but willing to carry on with their arrangement.
Its only after a year that anyone brings it up. Anyone, of course, being Clint, since he’s the only human that talks to her. (Since being let out of deprogramming shes been chatting to a ginger tabby that must have snuck onto the helicarrier, but she’s pretty sure that could just be a hallucination.)
‘So what's up with you looking at Maria like you want to eat her for breakfast?’ Clint asks casually, crammed into the vents above the gym watching two juniors get more and more terrified of May.
‘Huh?’ Natasha chews her haribo carefully.
‘Hill. You.’ Clint makes a crass gesture and Natasha wacks him around the head.
‘Its nothing. I flirt with everyone.’
‘You flirted with me, Fury and Coulson for a couple of weeks- that was nothing. This thing with Hills been going on over a year, literally since you came in.’
‘So what? It’s funny.’ Natasha shrugs.
‘You seem overly invested in a joke, Tashie.’ Clint’s been experimenting with nicknames
‘Hate it.’
‘You seem overly invested in a joke, Tasha.’ Clint tries and she shrugs again.
‘Hill doesn’t bite. I want to see how far I can push her.’
Clint pats her on the back ‘Okay, Nat.’
‘I like that.’ She says leaning onto his shoulder and he stops talking about it.
Its another year until he brings it up again. Steve Rogers has come out of the ice, and Tony Starks has been labelled a narcissist and Nat is sat on a helicarrier waiting to recruit Banner from the middle of nowhere.
‘Dya think it’ll be weird to flirt with someone thats not your boss?’ he laughs, and hands her a strawberry lace.
‘Nope.’
‘So you admit you are flirting with Hill?’ He tries.
‘Its a thing. You and I eat shitty candy, that's our thing. I flirt with Hill and she ignores me, thats our thing.’
‘Interesting thing. Especially since…’ He trails off and nudges her, ‘You know-’
‘I dont know.’
‘It could happen.’ Clint says and she scoffs.
‘What? A blind man knows that Hills into the ladies and you- ’ He breaks off for his own safety.
‘I- I what?’
‘I dunno Nat! You never tell me anything, just that you go out and sleep with people a bunch. I mean, if you like girls thats not a problem, you know? I love you no matter what-’
‘Stop talking.’ Natasha sees the little girl running back and lowers the ramp.
‘Nat- Romanoff!’ He tries but she's gone.
She’s also been sleeping with Hill for the last 5 months, but thats not that point.
Natasha doesn’t think about Maria during the battle. She might see Thor’s blue eyes and how they remind her of Maria, then amuse herself imagining Maria’s reaction to that statement for a while, thats not the point.
Maria links Natasha’s heart rate monitor to her watch and checks it every 5 minutes. She knows if Nat went down she would find out immediately, but something about feeling the regular pulse vibrating against her own makes her feel as much peace as one can as they watch a woman with two handguns attempt to take down an army of aliens.
Clint apologises, later. Because where else is better to apologise for assuming the sexuality of your best friend than the middle of a wrecked New York.
‘So back in the helicarrier, that was kinda a dick move of me.’
‘Really?’ Natasha sighs, reloading her gun.
‘Yeah, I meant what I said- I do love you, idiot. But maybe I shouldn't have been pushing you onto Hill, if you want to flirt with her, go ahead, its a free country.’
Nat rolls her eyes, ‘Gee thanks for the permission.’
‘I can always set you up with a friend?’ Clint suggests.
‘No.’
‘How about…’
‘No.’
‘Just give me a clue! Girls or guys?!’
‘Clint.’ Natasha flicks off safety threateningly and he holds up his hands.
‘I’m sorry! I just- I’m happy with Laura, and I feel like recently… I don't know, maybe our friendship has fallen to the wayside since I’ve been spending so much time with her in Iowa.’
Natasha looks away and shrugs, ‘I don't care. I know she means a lot to you.’
‘Nat.’
‘Clint.’ She mimics his whining tone and he pouts.
‘I just want you to be happy.’
‘I am happy.’
Clint gestures to her, ‘You can't fight all your battles alone.’
‘That's why Fury invented his little pet project.’
‘I’m serious here.’ Clint leans back against the car and puts his arm around her, ‘I don't want you to go through things alone.’
Natasha feels the guilt growing in her stomach, ‘I- I’m not alone Clint. I mean, not totally-’
‘What?!’ Clint jumps back like she's electrocuted him.
‘Maria, she-’ Natasha feels herself blushing, ‘She does flirt back occasionally.’
‘Shut up!’ Clint screams and Natasha’s jaw snaps shut.
‘No! Don’t shut up! Tell me everything .’
‘It’s not a big deal.’ Natasha shrugs. ‘She works 25 hours a day and I’m a child assassin, meeting other people is hard.’
Clint grins at her, ‘This is the best thing I’ve heard all year.’
‘Laura told you she was pregnant.’
‘Right.’ He corrects: ‘The second best thing.’
‘Its just stress-relief.’
‘That is a very sad sentence.’ Clint pats her on the head ‘Hill doesn’t like you back?’
Natasha pouts ‘Hill so likes me back. Wait-’ She flicks him on the head ‘Dumbass, I never said I like her.’
‘You look at her like she’s the moon, Natasha.’ Clint says ‘I mean, if she makes you happy then go for it.’
‘Clint, buddy, reel it in.’ Natasha finishes recharging her widow bits, ‘Its just sex, and anyway- we’ve got a war to win.’
‘But-’ Clint tries, and shes already gone.
‘You know if you’d looked me in the eye four years ago and told my child-assassin dysfunctional-ass that I’d be eating shawarma with two american heroes and a god I would have probably killed you.’
‘I think you’d have killed me before I could look you in the eye, let alone open my mouth.’ Clint replies quietly and she almost cracks a smile.
‘Wait!’ Tony screams, pointing a hummus covered finger at her, ‘You smiled! Almost! Did they reprogramme you during the battle?’
‘Shut up Tony.’ Clint and Natasha say in unison.
‘So what- Is this like twin telepathy?’ Tony continues ‘Or some sort of marriage?’
‘Ew.’ Clint chokes on his lettuce, ‘No. Nat’s my bestie.’ He goes to hug her and she punches him in the stomach.
‘Aww, I think Nattie really feels the same way.’ Tony teases and Clint flips him off.
‘Stark, I think it’s best you stop talking now.’
‘Or what? You’ll have to get a divorce? Would that break up the whole team?’ Tonys laughing to himself and Natasha’s remembering the placement of every single weapon in her tac suit, ‘If the super spies stop fucking, the Avengers break up right? Cus you’re our SHIELD link.’
Everyone is silent.
‘Oh come on guys! It’s funny.’
‘Tony, I dont think-’ Bruce tried then trails off, losing his confidence.
‘How about a drink for celebration?’ Thor throws his glass behind him, ‘Another!’
Tony copies him and Steve narrows his eyes.
‘Is this an actual tradition?’
‘Yes!’ Tony and Thor reply in unison.
‘No.’ Clint and Bruce say.
‘Spoilsport.’
Natasha leans back in her chair. Everything hurts, not that she’d ever admit it. She wouldn’t go to medical either, but at this point that's tradition too. She’d just return to her quarters and sit in the bath until the water is the colour of strawberry ice tea and until Maria turns up, saying nothing but rolling up her sleeves and slowly wiping the blood off Natasha’s face, washing her hair with water poured from a plastic jug. At some point Maria will lift her out of the bath and give her the privacy to change, or ask permission to gently dry her. Sewing isn’t always necessary, but Maria keeps a quinjet-level med kit under the bathroom sink so Natasha will wake up with less pain and less blood, and more synthetic tape holding her together than skin.
Shit, Maria.
She needs Maria right now.
She wants to go home and sit in the bath until the water is cold, just so Maria will show up to piece her back together. She wants to go home and curl up in a small ball so Maria can hold every inch of her. She wants Maria.
‘Hey.’ Clint nudges her and she only just realises that Steve had talked to her, she blinks at him.
‘Was your place destroyed?’ He asks politely and she tilts her head to make him expand.
‘My place, it was up on 34th, got crushed by a ship or something. Is yours good?’
‘Mine?’ Natasha thinks of the sparse white walls and company-loaned furniture. ‘I don’t really have a flat.’
‘You don’t?’ He looks shocked.
‘Well-’ Natasha hesitates, thinking of two pairs of boots lined up in the hall, of how Maria had propped her on the kitchen counter. ‘I kind of do. It’s good. I think.’
‘Okay, that's cool.’ Steve still seems confused, but lets it slip.
‘So, Steve, you're staying at SHIELD then, if your place is gone?’ Bruce asks.
‘Yeah.’ Steve nods, ‘Better water pressure too.’
‘The quarters are neat on the ship.’ Clint starts, ‘I remember this one time-’ He pauses, spotting something behind Nat’s head and just for a moment his eye flick back to her. ‘So, Hill she’d been looking for me all over-’ He has a whole story lined up for this, one Natasha’s heard many, many times, but she's not listening because she knows who she’ll see when she looks around. Clint had warned her subtly enough, and no one else had noticed. So she can wait. She can wait until the tea bath and the gentle shampoo and the hand draped over her waist as she falls asleep.
Actually. Fuck that. No she can’t.
The chair scrapes loudly on the floor as she stands up and the others look up in time to see her break into a run. A figure is standing by the corner of what used to be a bodega across the street, a figure who reaches out and catches Natasha, the redhead wrapping her legs around her waist, cradling the back of her head.
‘Well shit.’ Tony states.
‘Oh my god.’ Clint sighs, watching as his best friend is slowly lowered to the ground.
‘You’re here. You’re here. You’re okay.’ Maria is repeating over and over again.
‘I’m safe, Maria.’ Natasha holds Maria’s face, fingers slotted around her ears, twisting into hair. ‘I’m safe.’ Nat repeats looking into her eyes, ‘You- you make me safe, always.’
‘Nat-’
‘I didn’t know if you were alive. I thought- What if he targeted the helicarrier? Or you went onto the streets to help because you’re a goddamn martyr?’
‘I was in the control centre. I was okay.’
‘But I didn’t know that!’ Natasha cries, ‘I didn’t know if you’d be there when I got home.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Maria holds her tightly, ‘I’m sorry, Natalia. I was so scared watching you, I couldn’t bear it if something happened-’
‘I’m good. But you-’ Natasha stops herself and Maria’s eyes flick from holding her gaze to her lips and back again.
‘You’re the moon.’ Natasha tries, ‘Or… romantic shit. I dont know, I’m bad at this-’
‘Jesus, Natalia.’ Maria grins, tears gathering in her eyes, ‘Just fucking kiss me, okay?’
‘Okay. Yeah, thats a good idea.’
‘But Nat-’
Natasha stands on her tiptoes and smiles slyly at Maria, ‘What?’
‘This isn’t your seduction working, okay? It never was.’ Maria says seriously, ‘It’s what's in here that's important.’ She taps Natasha’s chest. ‘I don't care about all the eyelash batting and pursed lips and everything.’
‘Right, so it’s tits over face?’ Nat teases.
‘Babe?!’
‘I know, I know.’ Natasha sighs, ‘Thank you, Maria. You’ve always… I dont know- You can see right into me. You don't see all the stupid shallow fantasies and myths.’
‘I know you, Natalia.’ Maria says, ‘I know you enough to know that I love what I know.’
‘Shut up.’ Natasha says and finally kisses her.
‘Holy hell!’ Bruce curses quietly. A piece of lettuce falls out of Steve’s mouth. Tony hasn't blinked in almost a minute. Thor continues to munch happily.
‘So, young birdman, are we to be invited to the union of these two women?’ He asks good naturedly and Clint shakes his head, still trying to process what Natasha had done.
‘No, urm- not right now.’
‘Ah, alas. Next week then?’
‘Try a couple years.’ Clint shrugs, ‘I mean, they- they’re not ready. I mean, I dont think they’ve been serious long… and its not legal yet anyway, so-’
‘You do not have marriage laws on this Earth?’ Thor laughs, ‘We have had couples married for centuries on Asgard.’
Clint looks over to where Maria and Natasha are now talking, their foreheads pressed together ‘Nope, its just because, well, they’re gay. So thats not allowed.’
‘They’re gay?’ Tony repeats.
‘Its legal to be gay?’ Steve asks.
‘You didn’t know about their relationship?’ Bruce says and Clint drops his head into his hands.
‘Enough questions for another day. Just- leave them alone? For a minute at least.’
‘They’ve had a minute of sucking face.’ Tony’s still staring at the women.
‘Perv.’ Natasha yells and Maria grins, flipping him off as they start to walk over.
‘So this is a thing now?’ Clint asks, eyebrows raised and Natasha rolls her eyes.
‘Shut up birdbrain.’
‘Maria!’ Tony shouts gleefully, ‘How does it feel to have-’
‘Whatever you’re about to say, don't.’ Maria snaps, ‘And it’s Commander Hill.’
Maria ends up eating the second half of Natasha’s shawarma. They ignore every single question fired at them, instead talking in low tones in various languages, Clint butting in every now and then. They’re sat apart, body language giving no clues to the nature of their relationship, except every so often Maria will groan at something Nat says and kick her lightly under the table, or Natasha will reach over and pluck a tomato from Maria’s food.
It’s widely accepted, at least by the end of the million debriefs everyone is forced to go to, that that is a thing. It’s just how it is. Hill and Romanoff are together, in the sense that occasionally they will look at each other for a moment too long, or have full conversations with their eyebrows. But other than that you could have told Bruce the Shawarma Shocker (as it had been named by Tony) was an act and he could believe you.
‘Romanoff.’ Hill nods at Natasha as she enters ‘You’re late.’
‘Morse kidnapped me.’ Natasha shrugs ‘The new Bus has been finished, I got a tour. Have you seen it?’
‘I approved it.’ Maria gestures to a seat and continues, ‘Following the event of The Battle of New York, and the 6 previous debriefings-’
‘YAWN!’ Tony shouts out and she glares at him.
‘Trust me Stark, I wouldn’t be in your company unless I was required to be. Anyway- the council has made the elective decision that all documentation regarding the battle will be filed within SHIELD, and be available by the Freedom of Information Doctrine. This is limited, however, to personnel files for the listed individuals:’ She pauses for a moment and reads from a post it.
‘Agent Romanoff, and selected sections for Thor and Dr Banner.’
Her eyes pause on Nat for just a moment and the redhead shares a rare smile of relief.
‘Now this mission has now officially been terminated and recorded, we are disbanding the Avengers until further notice. You will be employed as consultants to SHIELD, and will be called in for regular check ups, including physical and mental evaluations. Until those dates you are free to go.’
‘YEAHHH!’ Tony whoops, ‘I’m a free man again!’
‘Excuse me, Commander Hill-’
‘Yes, Rogers, your quarters are still available on the Helicarrier, however I would recommend transferring them to the Triskelion or requesting a safehouse. Both can be done via-’ She stops dead. ‘That, that was Coulson’s job. I- I’ll do it. I’ll email you the details later.’
‘Thank you, Hill.’ Steve stands, salutes, but before he can leave Tony calls out.
‘Yo, Stevie Nicks! Actually, all of y’all!’ He clears his throat and stands up on his chair, ‘I would like to formally announce the transferral of Stark Tower into, drum roll please…’
Bruce taps the table twice.
‘Avengers Tower!’
‘Oh hell no.’ Clint sighs.
Maria narrows her eyes ‘Don’t tell me you brought the trademark on that.’
‘I didnt?’ He tries, ‘Anywho… Its… well, it’s big and kinda lonely and has many, many floors. So I thought we could take up a group residence.’
‘Oh hell no.’ Natasha repeats.
‘Flat are available to everyone, I can make them custom to your requirements, finished by the end of the week. Common spaces between them, state of the art gyms, and training. Weapons development right on sight.’
‘Hill.’ Bruce turns to her, ‘Please try and reason with him.’
Maria shrugs, ‘In the words of Fury, it’s my job to make a fucking dream team that functions like an actual team so I second it.’
‘You’re just saying that so we’re Pepper’s headache, not yours!’ Clint pouts and she rolls her eyes.
‘You think you guys are my biggest problem? Barton I’ve got about five presidents and a Queen on my ass about alien invasions and nuclear deterrents.’
‘Point.’ Bruce says, ‘Well, I’m up for it, to be honest.’
‘Me too.’ Steve agrees.
‘Fuck it. Why not?’ Clint turns to Natasha, who glares.
‘Don’t tell me you actually think I’ll come too?’
‘Pleeeeeeeeeeeease’ He wines.
‘No.’
‘Pleeeeeease!’ Tony mimics.
‘I-’ She turns to Maria and they all notice a change in the woman as layers and layers of professionalism slide off in an instant.
‘Please reason with them.’
Maria bites her lip.
‘Masha, seriously, you can’t be thinking-’
‘Rents high, love, we could keep your flat. But the leak in mine is way way worse now so we cant live there anyway. We can always use safehouses if we want to escape the boys.’
‘But you-’ Natasha sighs and switches to Russian ‘ You’d never be there anyway, you’d be working.’
‘Exactly, you need company.’
‘Yeah, a cat! Not a bunch of fucking superheroes!’
‘Please, love. I think it’ll be good for you.’
‘Whats happening?’ Tony stage whispers to Clint who narrows his eyes in concentration.
‘I think they’re having thai for dinner.’
Natasha considers for a moment, ‘Fine. But only if you come with me.’
‘I wouldn’t be anywhere else.’ Maria replies quietly and Clint gags loudly.
‘We get it, you’re in love. Eye fuck somewhere else, I beg.’
‘Oh honey.’ Natasha grins evilly, taking Maria’s hand, ‘You’re living with this now.’