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It wasn’t until she slid into the back of the convertible that Suzume realized how tired she was. The adrenaline rush was wearing off, and for the first time in days, she was able to let go – no worries, no obligations, no regrets. It was finally over. She had done what she’d set out to do.
It was almost impossible to believe, but the proof was right there beside her: Souta, alive and whole, eyes closed and breathing steadily. For a long while, she just watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest, wondering if it was hard for him to readjust to being human. There had been so many big questions to deal with that there hadn’t been time for little ones like that. She wondered if there would ever be time. Was this the end for them, or just the beginning? Was the warmth he had shown her simply gratitude, or something more?
Okay, maybe she still had a few worries…
She shifted her weight in the seat, searching for a position that was easier on her aching muscles. A few restless naps in the car, pervaded by constant worries about Souta, had done little to recover her on the way here, and now new aches were setting in on top of the old. She reached for her shoelaces and began to work at the tight knots that secured them around her ankles.
“Suzume?”
She glanced up at Souta, surprised to hear his voice. She’d thought he was asleep, but now he was sitting up straighter and watching her, a faint smile tugging at his lips.
“Are those… my shoes?”
Whatever she’d expected him to say, it wasn’t that. A little question. She ignored the warmth in her cheeks and replied, “Yeah. Sorry, I lost mine back in Tokyo, and I couldn’t exactly ask you…”
“It’s fine.” He leaned back again, still regarding her with a mix of amusement and mild concern. “You can wear them home; I don’t mind. Although that can’t be too comfortable.”
Suzume would have shrugged if her arms weren’t occupied. “It’s not that bad,” she assured him. True, it hadn’t been ideal, but wasting precious time on a shopping trip while he was frozen solid in the Ever-After hadn’t been an option. If the worst that had come of everything was her heels and toes getting a little banged up, that was a small price to pay.
She finally slipped one shoe off, sucking in a breath when she saw the blood stains on her sock. Souta raised an eyebrow. “Not that bad?” he echoed skeptically.
“Those were there before,” she said, not mentioning that they had definitely been smaller before, or that the full extent of the pain was only just hitting her now that her circulation was returning – she might have retied the laces a little too tightly in a last-ditch effort to stop the shoes from sliding around. But it was still bearable, still worth it a thousand times over.
Once she got the other shoe off, she curled up on the seat with her legs folded, careful not to let any of the crimson stains rub against Serizawa’s fancy leather upholstery – he was determined to salvage the car even in its abysmal state, so she wouldn’t make it any worse if she could help it. Beside her, Souta gazed off into the distance, seemingly lost in thought. She longed to make the most of the time she still had with him before they parted ways, but she knew she should really let him rest, and besides, she couldn’t think of anything to say.
In the front seat, Serizawa and Tamaki were jubilantly singing along with a sappy romantic duet. Suzume couldn’t decide whether to smile or cringe. She settled for smiling, just glad that they were in good moods after everything she had put them through. They’d even taken the heavily abridged explanations that she and Souta had offered better than she’d expected. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that they’d already heard two cats talk, and that Tamaki had seen her defy physics by disappearing into an empty doorframe.
That reminded her of another little question. “Souta?” she asked quietly, turning toward him.
“Hmm?”
“If Tamaki asks me more questions later, or my friends do… am I allowed to tell them everything?”
“Well, that kind of thing is left to the discretion of each Closer, but historically we’ve guarded our secrets closely to avoid causing any panic. As my grandfather would say, our world is not for the ordinary.” Souta gave her a knowing smile. “You are anything but ordinary, Suzume. I know there’s no keeping you out of it now, so I trust you to do what you think is best.”
Anything but ordinary. Those words echoed in her mind. Was that really how he thought of her?
“And what if I think it’s best for me to come with you and help you close the doors until you’re fully recovered?”
He shook his head, still smiling. “You have your own life to get back to. And I’ll be fine, I promise. After what we just did, there shouldn’t be another major incident anytime soon. Most of my job is a lot more boring than what you’ve seen. Besides, you aren’t fully recovered either,” he reminded her with a pointed glance at her socks.
She sighed. “My life will be so boring after this. I… I’m going to miss you.” She hoped he wouldn’t notice the fierce blush that was threatening to take over her face. “Will I see you again?”
Why was it that literally risking her life in a supernatural battle against an extradimensional force of chaos didn’t scare her as much as confessing her feelings?
“Of course,” Souta replied. “This isn’t goodbye.”
He said it so casually, but something in the way he was looking at her gave Suzume the impression that he was just as relieved by her question as she was by his answer. She couldn’t be that lucky… could she?
Drawn in by his beautiful eyes, she found herself daring to lean in toward him. Her heart pounded as she saw him do the same. Slowly, almost tentatively, he put an arm around her, drawing her even closer, lowering his face to hers as she rose to meet him.
And then they were thrown against their seat belts as the car suddenly lurched to a stop at a red light.
“Sorry, guys. Damn brakes –” Serizawa cut himself off as he glanced back at them, his eyes instantly going as round as his glasses. “Oh…!”
Souta quickly released Suzume, and they both sprang upright in their seats.
Serizawa just laughed and shot them a wicked grin. “Now I really hope that whole cousin thing was a lie.”
“What are you talking about?” asked Tamaki, peering around her headrest.
“Nothing,” Suzume stammered, grabbing handfuls of hair to cover her face, which she was sure was as red as a tomato. At least Tamaki hadn’t seen anything, thank goodness.
“Just a little inside joke,” added Serizawa, winking at Suzume before turning back to the wheel.
Suzume let out a long breath. When she got up the courage to look at Souta again, the look in his eyes hadn’t changed, but the rest of his face was set with resolve.
“Probably not the best idea right now, anyway,” he told her softly, apologetically.
She wasn’t sure if he meant because her aunt was right in front of them, because she was still in high school, because they wouldn’t see each other again for who knew how long, or because they could knock their teeth out if Serizawa had any more sudden brake trouble. Ultimately, though, she couldn’t argue with any of those reasons, as much as she might want to. She reluctantly nodded, trying not to show how much she was deflating inside.
“Hey.” He reached out and gently pushed her hair back from her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. “You know I’m going to miss you too, right?”
She nodded again, this time managing a small smile. Then he slid closer and pulled her into a hug.
Stretching her seat belt to its limit, she curled up against him and closed her eyes. His arms were warm around her, and his shoulder made the best pillow. She felt him rest his head against hers.
It was pure bliss like she’d never known. She wanted it to last forever… but she couldn’t ignore her own exhaustion much longer. Her thoughts began to blur, and the next thing she knew, Serizawa was calling her name.
“Suzume, Souta, wake up! We’re here.”
Blinking, she lifted her head from Souta’s chest. The train station was coming into view up ahead. With a heavy heart, she sat up – or tried to. Souta, still fast asleep, wasn’t letting go of her. She had to force her way out of his embrace. As soon as she did, he made a small noise of protest and limply flung an arm out after her, reaching, searching.
She couldn’t help but smile. “Souta,” she said, gently shaking his shoulder. “Wake up.”
“Mmgh.” He swatted at her hand.
Remembering the way she’d woken him up that one morning in Kobe, she was almost tempted… but that wouldn’t be fair. Maybe a compromise would be okay, though. Before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.
That did the trick. His eyes fluttered open and met hers. “Suzume,” he mumbled, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Did you just…?”
“Did I just what?” She innocently batted her eyelashes.
He shook his head dismissively, as if to say never mind, but she caught the gleam of amusement in his eyes.
The car finally came to a stop – this time without incident – and they both hesitated to move.
“How are you feeling?” she asked him.
“Much better, actually. I think that nap was just what I needed.”
“Me too.” She was surprised by that, but it was true – she couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken up feeling this refreshed. If only she could spend every night that way…
The thought made her blush yet again.
“Come on, I’ll wait with you,” she said, unbuckling her seat belt.
She laced herself back into his shoes while he said his goodbyes to Serizawa and Tamaki. Then they made their way down to the tracks together.
Suzume hated how fast this moment had come. Still, deep down she knew it was a moment of triumph more than anything else. Souta had a life to return to because of her – and that was far from the only thing she had accomplished on this journey. Beneath the soft ache of missing him, she felt more at peace than she ever had. Even if time was passing much too swiftly, she was ready to savor each and every fleeting moment – starting with this one.
And so she lingered on the platform even after the train had gone, taking comfort in the smallest of things. Warm sunlight on her face. A gentle breeze carrying the scent of pansies and marigolds. The familiar sound of her aunt’s laughter. The echo of Souta’s parting words in her mind’s ear.
“I’ll come see you. I promise.”
They would have time for all the little things one day; she was certain of that now. In the meantime, she would be all right.