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like a fool (i only think of you)

Summary:

Vi leans into the locker next to her, slotting her shoulder perfectly into an apple-sized dent in the metal. The sinews in her arm ripple under the neon glow of the hallway lights as she moves her hand to scratch at the back of her neck. Oh god. The warmth in Caitlyn’s cheeks feels hotter than the sun.

// Or, in which Caitlyn is a nervous wreck, Vi tries too hard to play it cool, and a simple question sets off a chain of misunderstandings.

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Mel is… strangely understanding when Caitlyn tells her that she wants to try working with another partner for next week’s lab report.

 

“You’re not… angry?” Caitlyn asks, absentmindedly sliding the lab assignment off her desk.

 

Mel looks at her with a glint in her golden eyes. “Of course not, Caitlyn,” she drawls. “I’m glad you finally gathered the courage. But you might want to hurry, she’s leaving already.”

 

Caitlyn’s head swivels toward the back of the class where Vi always sits. Vi is already on her feet with her backpack slung over one shoulder, tucking blue plastic chairs under desks as she makes her way to the door.

 

Caitlyn gasps and stuffs the lab paper into her bag, grimacing slightly when the paper crumples. She grabs blindly at her science textbook and nearly drops it in the process. “Thank you for understanding, Mel, I owe you one, you’re the best,” she rambles. Then a realization stops her in her tracks. “How did you know who I—who it was?”

 

Mel simply arches a perfect eyebrow in response. “Do you truly want to discuss this now?

 

Caitlyn checks behind her again. Vi is nowhere to be found. “Shit! I—I’ll see you after school, Mel! Thanks again!” 

 

Caitlyn rushes out the door, swerving around a group of students that easily takes up half the space in the hallway. “Vi!” she yells after the bright spot of pink several lockers ahead. “Vi, wait!”

 

Vi pauses mid-step and turns to face her. Her head tilts to the side in what Caitlyn thinks is intrigue, but she doesn’t have much time to process the nerves gnawing at her chest because excess momentum is launching her forward and four seconds later, she’s colliding with a wall of pure, corded muscle with an oomph! muffled into Vi’s incredibly sturdy shoulder.

 

Then a pair of calloused hands are on Caitlyn’s arms to steady her, and it’s a miracle that her heart doesn’t give out, right then and there.

 

“Hey, you okay there?” Vi’s voice is as soft as her pink hair looks, adorably ruffled and spiked up in haphazard directions and so very Vi. Her black uniform tie sways dangerously close to Caitlyn’s own, and Caitlyn is definitely not gawking at the way the girl’s short sleeves shift and strain at the slightest flex of her arms. Wrinkles and yellowed stains cover Vi’s white polo, frayed at the edges from years of use, but somehow it makes Vi look even better, perhaps more rugged or more human or—

 

“Caitlyn?”

 

Caitlyn blinks. Shit. Did she ask me something? “I—yes?”

 

“You okay?” Concerned gray eyes stare straight into Caitlyn’s soul. “You kinda ran right into me. Are you hurt or anything?”

 

“Oh! I, um—no. No, I’m alright, thank you,” she squeaks out, too focused on the splatter of freckles across Vi’s cheeks to be embarrassed by how breathless she sounds. “I’m sorry. For running into you. Are—are you alright?”

 

Her gaze flickers down to Vi’s palms, still as gentle as ever on her elbows. To Caitlyn’s dismay, the other girl withdraws her touch and inhales sharply, stuffing her hands as far as they can go into the pockets of her gray dress pants, exposing Caitlyn’s goosebump-riddled skin to the air. She suppresses the shivers running down her spine. Oh, what she would give to have Vi hold her just a little longer.

 

Vi clears her throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, Cupcake. Thanks.”

 

“What’s the Piltie Princess want now?” grunts the boy next to Vi. The head of jagged brown hair and spindly build tells Caitlyn that this is Mylo, a regular troublemaker at their school and one of Vi’s brothers, mostly bark and no bite. She fights back a smirk when she levels him with a glare that makes him recoil.

 

Caitlyn shakes her head, ignoring whatever Mylo mutters under his breath. She’s going to need all her focus for the task ahead. “Vi, I—”

 

“Shut up!” Vi growls and Caitlyn’s mouth snaps shut. A horrified expression flashes across Vi’s face; there’s regret etched into the furrow of her eyebrows, and a flicker of something warm that Caitlyn doesn’t dare to hope for. “No! I meant Mylo! Not you. I would never—not you, Caitlyn.”

 

Vi’s hand moves to tug her backpack strap toward her chest and she hesitates, as though she wants to say more but decides against it. Her features soften and all the air rushes out of Caitlyn’s lungs. God, she loves seeing Vi like this more than anything—like she’s tucked away her tough exterior just for Caitlyn, even if it’s only for a little while. (It’s a mask, Caitlyn’s come to realize, that’s peeled back brick by brick with every lunchtime conversation and secret smile; a shelter for the heart of gold that lies behind stone walls.)

 

“Seriously, just ignore him. I’m all yours,” Vi says earnestly. “Uh, ears! I’m all ears.” She mumbles a curse that Caitlyn barely hears over the echoes of I’m all yours and the thunderous rush of blood through her ears.

 

Pathetic,” Mylo snickers through a poorly disguised cough that both Vi and Caitlyn ignore.

 

The world narrows to beautiful gray irises and a sheepish smile that has no right to be as stunning as it is. Caitlyn wonders if she should abandon asking her (nearly forgotten) question altogether because she wouldn’t mind staying here just like this, basking in Vi’s undivided attention until that tender gaze of hers melts Caitlyn’s insides into a useless puddle of goo.

 

An utterly smitten, useless, puddle of goo. Thank god Vi isn’t flashing that lopsided grin of hers right now… Caitlyn’s mind is already threatening to implode.

 

But Caitlyn wants more than the glimpses she’s gotten thus far, and she knows that Vi doesn’t let her guard down for just anyone. More than half the school—other girls who are inevitably drawn to the mysterious, charming Zaunite, but also boys impressed (intimidated, really) by Vi’s rumored prowess in street fighting—would gladly shell out absurd sums to be in Caitlyn’s place, and she will be keeping this all to herself, thank you very much. (Sharing has never been her strong suit. She is an only child, after all.)

 

She tightens her grip on the hardcover of her textbook, takes a deep breath, and counts down from five in her head the same way she does before starting a presentation. Her shoulders tense up as if on autopilot. “I was wondering,” she begins slowly, heart and nerves going absolutely haywire, “if you, um, would like to be partners. For the next lab! Science partners. Lab partners, I mean. F-for science class.”

 

Oh dear. Why can’t I speak normally?

 

Vi’s eyes go wide. “Uh… what?”

 

Before Caitlyn gets a chance to repeat herself, Mylo bursts into cackles and doubles over with both arms on his stomach. She tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth, the courage she spent weeks building up starting to slip out of reach.

 

“This isn’t funny,” she insists, her face burning. Even to her own ears, she sounds like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.

 

She sneaks a glance at Vi. The girl’s cheeks flare an angry red as she grits her teeth and snarls, “Mylo, I swear to god, either shut up or go be an ass somewhere else!”

 

Caitlyn would prefer it if he did both those things. She huffs in frustration when his laughter finally quiets down but he makes no move to leave, instead crossing his arms and grinning at his sister.

 

Vi frowns at him and turns back to face Caitlyn. “Sorry ‘bout him, Cupcake,” she grumbles, her gray eyes apologetic and sheepish and so pretty that a rainbow would pale in comparison. “I, uh, kinda spaced out when you were talking before. What were you saying?”

 

Vi leans into the locker next to her, slotting her shoulder perfectly into an apple-sized dent in the metal. The sinews in her arm ripple under the neon glow of the hallway lights as she moves her hand to scratch at the back of her neck. Oh god. The warmth in Caitlyn’s cheeks feels hotter than the sun. It’s unfair that Vi does this to her so easily. Absolutely unfair.

 

Caitlyn takes a few seconds to pick her jaw up off the floor (stop staring, she scolds herself) and straighten her posture. Her textbook cover must be sporting a permanent imprint in the shape of her hand by now. “I was just wondering if you’d like to be partners for our next lab. In Mr. Singed’s class.” She startles a bit at how smoothly the words flow out.

 

Vi’s mouth opens and closes exactly three times before she finally says, “You—are you serious, Cupcake? You wanna work together?”

 

Caitlyn deflates at the less than enthusiastic response, but she keeps her chin up despite the overwhelming urge to stare down at her shoes. “I… well—”

 

The shrill ring of the school bell tears into Caitlyn’s eardrums and she winces at the sensation, momentarily unsure what to think of the interruption. Perhaps it’s for the best that she has no time to make a fool of herself, yet again, in front of Vi.

 

Vi, who’s always the first (and only) person to rush to Caitlyn’s aid when she fumbles her books in the hallway. Vi, who hates Shakespearean poems with a vengeance, but listens to Caitlyn dissect Sonnet 18 like it’s the most enrapturing topic she’s ever heard, her ham sandwich left untouched until Caitlyn playfully scolds her for not eating.

 

Vi, who clearly has no interest in getting to know Caitlyn, much less befriending her or— no, that’s enough. She just manages to steer her thoughts away from dangerous territory.

 

“Never mind,” Caitlyn mumbles, hating the wobble in her voice as she stumbles backward. “This was a bad idea.”

 

The rejection prickles at her eyes and she tries valiantly to blink the pain away. She lets her feet, all of a sudden weighing more than lead, carry her straight ahead to Mrs. Grayson’s classroom, the texture of the worn linoleum flooring a phantom scrape against her soles. For the entirety of her eight second walk to the door, Vi’s frown and Mylo’s smirk block out every other image in her mind.

 

Saved by the bell, at least, she thinks bitterly. The lump in her throat refuses to go away.

 

Caitlyn vaguely registers someone calling her name but brushes it off as her imagination because obviously, she misread all the signs. She hugs her textbook in a vice grip, lets the dull corners of the hardcover dig into her stomach, still jittering with butterflies.

 

Vi is in the same English class this period, she recalls; in fact, they have identical schedules this semester, and a naive part of Caitlyn hopes that Vi will approach her after class, perhaps explain that she was just taken aback or nervous or overjoyed earlier and that yes, she would love to work with Caitlyn and spend more time together.

 

Caitlyn groans internally as she pushes open the undecorated, creaking wooden door, leaving it ajar for Vi who can’t be too far behind, not caring that she’s probably late and interrupting a lesson.

 

I am so hopeless…

 

-\/-

 

“Uh… what?” The words are out of Vi’s mouth before she fully registers what Caitlyn’s just asked her. Is this real? It can’t be. She has to be dreaming or hallucinating or some other weird shit. Did Caitlyn—does she actually want to work with me?

 

She gives a sloppy excuse about not hearing Caitlyn the first time, just to be sure.

 

Caitlyn repeats her question smoothly this time, and Vi kind of misses the way the girl was stammering earlier. She’s cute when she’s nervous. Well, she’s also cute when she’s not nervous, and—

 

Oh fuck. Play it cool, Vi. Don’t freak her out. Don’t ruin this.

 

Vi does, unfortunately (and predictably), ruin the moment.

 

Mylo eventually decides he’s done embarrassing Vi for the day and scampers away before she can pummel him into the ground. Coward. That idiot’s lucky they don’t have the next class together, but he won’t escape her forever. She makes a mental note to kill Mylo later. She needs to clear things up with Caitlyn first.

 

It’s not really Vi’s fault that her brain chooses to shut down around Caitlyn, is it? Caitlyn Kiramman, a rich and privileged girl from Piltover’s snobbiest family, who is the most selfless, compassionate person Vi’s ever known despite it all. Caitlyn, who explains the same book passage to Vi over and over during their lunch breaks, never once losing her patience or kind tone, until Vi finally understands and they’re beaming at each other and Vi forgets everything she’s ever learned.

 

Caitlyn, whose eyes shine with unshed tears that she’s trying to blink away because Vi fucked up. Royally.

 

“Caitlyn, wait!” Vi pivots around faster than lightning, ready to storm through the school until she fixes this mess. Her hands ball into fists. Of fucking course she ruined it. This is what she gets for trying to play it cool like a dumbass.

 

Vi curses Caitlyn’s long, long legs because the girl can walk ridiculously fast and Vi’s never had to rush after Caitlyn like this. They have the same schedule and she sets a leisurely pace when they walk to their classes together, just the two of them; the routine always provokes relentless teasing from Vi’s family and friends (“Didn’t think you’d be so quick to abandon us,” Powder loves to quip). Vi’s lips almost twitch into a smile.

 

Some random scraggly kid rams into Vi out of nowhere, the impact harsh enough that Vi would’ve given them grief if she wasn’t on a mission right now. She grunts a half-hearted apology and breaks into a sprint. Not the time for a trip down memory lane. “Caitlyn!”

 

Caitlyn doesn’t spare her a glance and pushes the English classroom door open with one hand, the other clutching her book to her stomach like her life depends on it. She disappears inside before Vi gets there, and when Vi does, she finds the door open just a crack— of course Caitlyn would leave it open for her, even after what she said. Her eyes immediately search for the familiar navy ponytail. She catches sight of it near the front of the class, as usual, and sighs when she notices that the only empty seats are at the back.

 

“You—are you serious, Cupcake? You wanna work together?”

 

Vi replays the conversation over and over in her head, cringing at her awful reactions. She put so much effort into toning down how surprised and happy she was about Caitlyn’s offer that she didn’t consider how Caitlyn might misinterpret everything. Especially when Caitlyn has a tendency to assume the worst.

 

But does she seriously think Vi would reject her? Who in their right mind would do that? The entire school wouldn’t hesitate to fight Vi for a chance to be partnered with Caitlyn, and for good reason—Caitlyn is amazing at everything she does (Vi admits she was envious at first, but her jealousy was quickly replaced by admiration once they got to know each other), she’s fun to hang out with, and, well… Vi could go on for days.

 

But she should probably focus on the lesson. English is already her worst class and without Caitlyn to go over the readings with her, it’s about to get a whole lot worse.

 

Except Vi doesn’t hear a word Grayson’s saying because Caitlyn’s just a few rows ahead, shoulders sagging and head hung low. Caitlyn doesn’t raise her hand to participate at all, which never happens especially since English is one of her favorite subjects, and every part of Vi wants to go to Caitlyn now and apologize for being an idiot and maybe tell her that she’s actually been scrambling for excuses to spend more time with her since the beginning of the semester.

 

Please turn around. Come on, just look at me for one second. But Caitlyn remains as still as a statue while Vi stares helplessly at the hunched figure, her own knee bouncing nonstop as the minutes drag on.

 

Finally, finally, the bell rings and Vi springs out of her seat with her bag in tow, probably whacking a few unlucky students along the way.

 

“Caitlyn, hey,” she says, reaching for Caitlyn’s shoulder. The other girl freezes and Vi pulls back immediately, guilt clawing through her veins. Caitlyn always respects boundaries and Vi will be damned if she doesn’t do the same.

 

Caitlyn takes a deep breath, avoiding Vi’s gaze. “Look,” she begins, her voice even but hardened by caution that she hasn’t directed at Vi since they first met, “I understand that you’re working with someone else, and that you would never want to be partnered with someone”—she falters ever so slightly—“like me. So if you’re here to rub salt in the wound, I would be grateful if you could just… leave me alone.”

 

Fuck. Caitlyn sounds so small, so hurt, so unlike herself. And as if that’s not punishment enough, this is all Vi’s fault. A knife in the heart would be less painful.

 

“Why wouldn’t I wanna be partners with someone like you?” The words slip out before Vi can stop herself. Shit. Does that sound desperate? Do I look desperate? Fucking shit, I should’ve thought this through.

 

Caitlyn scrunches her nose and her lips downturn in an almost-frown that’s unreasonably cute, hopefully oblivious to Vi’s inability to get a fucking grip on herself. Vi catches what she thinks is a flicker of hope in the pair of ocean blue eyes that have been stuck in her mind for months.

 

“What I mean is, uh…” Vi scratches at the back of her neck and Caitlyn’s gaze follows the motion before darting away. “I was being an idiot before. I wanna work on the lab together. With you. If, um, you still want to.” Alright, that wasn’t too bad.

 

Caitlyn’s eyebrows shoot up, dimples teasing at both of her cheeks. “You—you do?” she says breathlessly.

 

Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm! “Of course I do, Cupcake.” Vi tries for a grin that probably looks lopsided and ridiculous, but she’s too nervous to care. Her fidgeting hands settle down when she’s rewarded with her favorite tooth-gapped smile.

 

“Okay then. Lab partners it is,” Caitlyn mumbles, her face flushing prettily. Vi stands a bit straighter as the other girl hesitates and worries her bottom lip. It takes all of Vi’s focus not to stare. “Vi… why do you call me Cupcake?”

 

Vi blinks, nearly missing the question, but she recovers quickly. “‘Cause you’re sweet, like a cupcake. ‘Sides, it gets you all flustered, and you’re cute when you blush.”

 

The red on Caitlyn’s cheeks darkens considerably. Her smile turns shy, then she moves to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and holy fuck, does it get Vi’s pulse going.

 

And because Vi’s on cloud nine with the way Caitlyn’s beaming at her, she pushes on. “And if you’re not too busy or anything, maybe we could hang out sometime? Y’know, when we’re not working on the lab report. We could see a movie or something? It doesn’t have to be a movie! I just, uh—”

 

“I’d love to!” Caitlyn blurts. Her eyes light up with a glow more brilliant than stars in a clear night sky and Vi’s heart stutters—god, if this is how it feels to make Caitlyn happy, then she definitely should’ve asked sooner.

 

“Uh, I’m free tomorrow after school? If that works for you?”

 

Caitlyn nods fervently. “That works. We can meet at the front entrance?”

 

Vi almost can’t believe this is happening. Fuck, she’s so pretty. This better not be a dream. “Yeah! Great! I, uh, I’ll see you then!”

 

Vi attracts lots of amused stares as she saunters through the hallways with a new bounce in her step, grinning like an idiot. She even suffers through all of her siblings’ and Ekko’s teasing at lunch without complaint.

 

Lab partners and a date with Caitlyn… Vi’s day can’t get any better than this.

 

(She proves herself wrong when she sends Caitlyn a wink in math class and the girl turns into a blushing mess.)

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