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No one understood why – after the battle of New York had ended – Tony threw his entire being into repairing the city. However, everyone just wrote it off as Tony being Tony, eccentric billionaire genius who loved a challenge.
And when New York was well on the way to recovery and all the extra help and news crews had gone home, Tony wrapped himself in Stark Industries inventions and in rebuilding and redesigning the top of his tower to house his new teammates.
And when Pepper forced him to take a month off because all his backlogged vacation time was starting to annoy her and Tony truly looked like he was about to collapse, Tony found himself still for the first time in three months.
For a long time Tony simply stood in the middle of the living room, not really looking at anything, not really thinking, just standing and doing nothing else. He probably should have found something to do to keep him busy – after all, it was exactly three month since the Battle of New York, exactly three months since his entire world had ended altogether.
Steve thought it was because of the nuke Tony had flown into space.
Pepper thought it was because Tony was overworked.
Thor was off world dealing with his brother.
Clint thought it was because Tony had seen someone die – someone he was closer too than a military escort.
Bruce thought it was because Tony had lost his purpose when he fought aliens, realizing that the world was far larger than he had imagined.
Natasha thought it was because Tony had finally learned to not be so self centered.
But they were all wrong.
Because Tony’s world had ended in a way none of them could understand. Tony had seen people die, had killed people himself, and known that aliens were out there, that humans couldn’t possibly be the only being in every universe, had long ago learned to act self centered to protect his soul. But this, this was something new and different and devastating.
Never before had Tony lost his husband. Not like this. And Phil had promised to never leave Tony like that. It had been a stupid promise, even then, but Tony had held on to it during the long missions and silent nights spent alone, wondering if he would ever see Phil again. The image was seared into his brain, the sight of Phil bleeding out on the ground while medics tried in vain to save him and Fury ushered the billionaire out, insisting Tony didn’t need to see that.
“I wish he was here,” whispered Tony, shaking his head and heading to bed – because there was nothing to keep him in the living room and Pepper had banned him from his workshop.
While Tony slept, someone crept into his room and joined him in bed. With a sigh, Tony curled into the new body, blinking his eyes open and smiling tiredly up at Phil.
“You weren’t supposed to leave,” yawned Tony.
“I’m sorry,” said Phil, smiling down at his husband, running a hand through the messy brown locks. “But I told you, I will always come for you.”
“I wish you were real,” sighed Tony, closing his eyes again, nuzzling Phil’ leg. “I don’t want to wake up. I always wake up and you’re gone.”
“I can promise you, I’m real,” whispered Phil sadly. “And I will never leave you to think I’m dead again.”
“Dream you always says that. Then I wake up and you’re still dead and I’m still alone.”
“I’m going to kill Fury,” said Phil under his breath as Tony fell into a deeper sleep.
In the morning, Tony woke up, warm and content for the first time in months. He blinked his eyes opened before slamming them shut again.
“Told you I was real,” chuckled Phil, still sitting exactly where he had been the night before. He was wearing a white shirt that did little to hide the still forming scar tissue from where he had been stabbed, and sweat pants.
“I’m supposed to wake up now,” said Tony, sitting up and scooting away – but not far – trembling, tears springing to his eyes. “I’m supposed to be alone now. You’re supposed to leave me alone so I can spend the rest of my day thinking about how I won’t make it through the day without you. But I do because you would want me to. But you can’t be here.”
“I’m here, and I’m real,” said Phil, carefully drawing Tony back into his arms and kissing his genius’s forehead. “I’m real and I promise, you’re not alone anymore.”
“But you were gone,” sobbed Tony, clutching Phil’s shirt. “Fury said! I saw you. You were bleeding and he said you were dead.”
“He lied,” whispered Phil. “Who do you believe, Fury or me?”
“You,” cried Tony into Phil’s shirt. “Always you.”
“Then believe me now,” said Phil.
Tony cried into his husbands chest, riding out the panic and grief and when he was done, Phil was still there holding him, softly reassuring, and not leaving Tony alone.