Work Text:
House was in trouble, again. This time, he had upset a patient by making fun of her stupidity. She wouldn’t let it go, and had gone so far as to tattletale on him to Cuddy. Apparently, said stupid lady was a donor to the hospital, and had threatened Cuddy that unless House apologized and changed his behavior, she would withdraw her donations.
And so now here he was, three days later, having a “meeting” with the stupid lady to prove that he was in fact a good person, and that he was so, so, sorry. Normally he wouldn’t even care, but Wilson decided he would make it a game for House. If House could be nice for the next three days, Wilson would give him $500. If he couldn’t, he owed Wilson that money.
Surprisingly, House had actually managed to be nice. It made everyone he knew uncomfortable, yes, but it was a good change. The clinic ran much more smoothly, and nobody had any complaints.
One time, Cameron watched in awe as House easily manipulated Wilson into doing what he wanted.
“James!” House exclaimed on the phone. He was sat next to Cameron and his other ducklings in the extension of his office. Wilson was on a date, and had told House not to contact him for any reason.
Wilson cringed, he hated when House said his name. “Don’t call me that. My name is reserved to friends only.”
House so badly wanted to say what other friends? but he kept that to himself. “I thought we were friends.” He said nonchalantly, hoping Wilson felt a bit guilty. “But okay, Wilson.”
Cameron rolled her eyes. She could tell what House’s strategy was. She glanced over at Chase and Foreman who seemed to be on the same page.
“What do you want, House?” Wilson asked, sighing. He had excused himself from his date and was in the bathroom now.
House perked up. “Need a consult. I think my patient here has lymphoma.” He could feel Wilson rolling his eyes through the phone.
“I know you’re aware of what lymphoma cells look like, House. You don’t need me.”
House pouted. “But you’re the expert, and if I want to do surgery on my dying patient, I need you to confirm the diagnosis.”
“Surgery? Why not start with radiation or chemo?” Wilson argued, although he couldn’t help but smile that House called him an expert.
“Patient doesn’t have that time.” House informed. “ Please, Wilson.”
Wilson peaked out of the bathroom to look at his date, sitting alone. Man, she was smokin’. She could be a supermodel. He retreated back into the bathroom and leaned his head against the wall, looking at the ceiling.
“Alright. I’m on my way.” He gave in, knowing there was no way he would get this chance with maybethewomenofhisdreams, again.
“Thank you.” House hung up, grinning.
“You know, when you’re nice you seem to get whatever you want without any protest. Why not just stay this way?” Foreman asked, in disbelief.
“It’s no fun.” House mockingly pouted, and grabbed his cane as he got up to leave the room.
As House entered Cuddy’s room for the apology, he was surprised to see Wilson was there as well. The donor he was supposed to apologize to and prove he had changed his ways, was scowling at him with her arms crossed. All he had to do is apologize and be sincere, or rather, sound sincere. He sat down on the couch next to where Wilson sat, trying to make it seem like his leg was hurting more than usual. Being a cripple meant he got more sympathy than he deserved. He noticed it worked as the lady appeared to soften her face.
The conversation dragged on and on, and it became increasingly obvious that the lady wasn’t buying what House was selling. Thankfully, he had one last trick up his sleeve. He had done research on his rich nemesis, and found out she had a gay son. I guess Wilson being there was a miracle in disguise.
House began to trace the sides of Wilson’s body with his fingers, dragging up and down. He felt Wilson freeze next to him, and Cuddy began to stumble her words in confusion.
“S-so like I was saying,” Cuddy stuttered, as House began his next step. He put his hand on Wilson’s thigh, and wrapped the other arm around Wilson. It looked a bit awkward, and felt awkward too, but House was trying to make it look as obvious as possible. “House has made significant strides these past few days.”
Wilson had no idea what was happening. House was touching him, and not in a platonic way, either. He tried to scoot away, but House’s arm around him tightened. He didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it and cause Cuddy to lose the donation to the hospital, but everything inside him was screaming “what the fuck are you doing?” He hoped House didn’t notice that his cheeks had turned a deep shade of pink.
When House then squeezed his thigh, Wilson couldn’t take it anymore. He yelped and shoved House away. House pretended to look hurt and confused by it, hoping maybe, just maybe, the donor would think that Wilson was a closet case.
“Are you two together?” She suddenly asked, pointing at the two of them. Before anyone could speak and foil House’s plan, he quickly said
“Yes.”
Cuddy and Wilson’s eyes widened in shock. Wilson looked at House incredulously. “No, no we aren’t.” He argued, unable to understand what House was trying to do. Little did he know he was doing exactly what House hoped.
“James—“ House sighed. “Yeah, sorry. I don’t know why I said that.” He looked down at his hands and twiddled his thumbs, trying to look defeated. It was working.
“You know,” the lady began, sounding pitiful. “My son is gay.” Just like that, as if a switch turned on in both Cuddy and Wilson’s heads, they understood what House was planning. Cuddy did everything to prevent herself from scoffing.
“No, no,” House threw his hands up unconvincingly. “We’re not gay.”
“It’s okay.” She assured, flashing a smile. “You don’t have to hide it from me. I understand. I’m surprised, though. You of all people didn’t seem capable of love.”
House smiled. It wasn’t real, of course, but she had no way of knowing that. “Thank you.”
Wilson couldn’t believe it. This was working. House’s manipulation knew no bounds. However, despite his initial disgust and confusion, he decided to play along. Hell, anything to get this conversation over.
“How long have you been together?”
“Ten years.” Wilson blurted out, deciding to wrap his arm around House this time. Cuddy’s jaw dropped, as if she couldn’t believe Wilson would sink this low.
The lady flashed a smile, happy to see Wilson open up. “That’s a long time. My son recently started dating his best friend from high school. They’ve been together only three months now.”
“That’s wonderful, truly.” Cuddy intercepted. “But I just looked at the clock and House has clinic duty again. We’re understaffed, you see.” There was no way she was going to play along in this game.
The lady nodded apologetically. “Of course, of course. I’ve decided to continue my donations. Thank you, House. I’m happy to hear you’ve changed.”
To really sell it, House gave Wilson a kiss on the cheek before standing up. Wilson’s whole body shuddered, and he had to hold himself back from making a noise in protest. “Yes, and I’m so sorry that I offended you.”
They shook each other’s hands, and House winked at Wilson as he left for clinic duty.
Once Wilson and Cuddy were alone, Cuddy shook her head. “He’s unbelievable.” That was the understatement of a lifetime.
Wilson, staring off into the distance, gulped. “I owe him 500 bucks.” Cuddy glared at Wilson, as if to scold him for making a bet. Then, she smiled.
“So do I.” She admitted, taking out her wallet.
Wilson couldn’t stop thinking about it. He tried so hard the past few days to no avail. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered House’s hands tracing up and down his body. House’s hand squeezing his thigh. House’s lips pressed to his cheek.
It was definitely too late to have his gay awakening, right? He knew it was stupid that he even was thinking about it. House did it to manipulate the rich lady. The whole thing meant nothing to him. It was a twisted joke. It should mean nothing to Wilson as well. Especially since House was now back to normal, insulting him at least twice a day.
He had even managed to get a new date with the supermodel-looking-woman he cancelled on before, but the whole time he was thinking about House. In fact, whenever House came by and said his usual rude things, or whenever House stole half of his sandwich, he found himself smiling. He was so unbelievably fucked.
House had opened a can of worms, and Wilson found himself the victim. Wilson loved House. He realized he yearned to hear House call him James again, for House to smile earnestly at him, for House to touch him once more. He always thought he only loved House as his best friend. But now, it was different. His gay awakening had came, and he loved House, of all men. Fuck.
So, he decided he was going to tell him. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get it out. Wilson walked determinedly towards House’s office, ignoring the Hi’s and Hello’s that the nurses and fellow doctors gave to him on his way there. He pondered how exactly he would say it. Just straight up, “I love you”? Or maybe something more complicated than that, or something more romantic?
Wilson suddenly stopped in his tracks in dismay just before he could open the door to House’s office. His heart sank to his stomach at what he saw. Inside the office, Cuddy was kissing House.
It made sense. They had pined for each other for years now. Of course it made sense. He quickly turned the corner, seeing how happy House looked. His gay awakening was definitely too late.
He stood against the wall, leaning his head back. He couldn’t help but laugh. What was he thinking? That he would tell House, and they’d live happily ever after? Of course that wouldn’t happen. In a way, he was thankful Cuddy had made it to House’s office before him.
That night, when House stopped by Wilson’s office with a big grin on his face, Wilson smiled knowingly.
“You are not going to believe the day I had.” House smirked, and Wilson stood up to grab his jacket.
“I suppose you’re going to tell me about it?” He quipped, turning off the light to his office and following House out.
“I’m thinking Chinese.” House nodded, and Wilson let out a quiet “mmm”. House’s eyes were sparkling. He had never seen his friend so happy before.
Even though he felt his heart breaking, Wilson smiled. His best friend was happy . This is what he’s been wanting for years. Did it hurt that it wasn’t because of him? Sure. But House being happy was something Wilson was willing to get his heart broken over. He’d shelve his feelings, get over him in maybe a year or two, and they’d move on, like they always did.
And so, as they reached the parking lot, Wilson flashed a smile at House and held up his keys.
“Your place or mine?”