Archive of Our Own ^beta

He hatched first. He didn’t remember much of it, but he sort of remember the slime and the confusion and the giant eyes blinking down at him curiously as he struggled to free himself from the white stuff that was holding him captive, stuck. Next to him he could see more round, smooth stuff—identical to his own, only they barely had cracks in them, still whole.

Again, things were blurry. He remembered somewhat how each one of the others hatched, slowly breaking out of their prisons and joining him in exploring the cage. Each time of them cracked out of the white stuff, something would be drawn on the back of their shell. He couldn’t see what was on his own shell, but the others had 2, 3 and 4 scrawled there, though he didn’t know what it meant.

They were fed; they were watched. And then another set of eyes looked down at them—warm ones that made him feel safe even as the container they were in was lifted into the air unsteadily by enormous hands that belonged to the creature with the warm eyes. They advanced toward a place that was so bright, it made him tuck his head into his shell at first—just like the other three in the container.

“Tang Shen always did like turtles,” said the giant creature with the kind eyes, though the turtles didn’t understand what he was saying—to them it was just a sort of funny noise. “I’m afraid you will not get to meet her, little ones, but I will take care of you—hopefully, that I will be able to do.”

The one with the 2 on his back slammed his head against the container wall again.

“Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo—welcome to the Hamato family.”

Then something happened.

Suddenly loud voices surrounded them and the creature holding the container looked much more alert. He moved the tank he was carrying more sharply, making the turtles inside lose their balance. The one with the 2 on his back started banging his head against the side of the container angrily; the one with the 3 drew back inside his shell, looking scared; the one with the 4 looked up at the creature holding them with a curious look as he kept on stumbling on his feet from being thrashed around.

His heart plummeted down and he screeched in alarm along with the others when the container suddenly slipped and they fell down and into a pool of a strange, glowing liquid. Suddenly things around him turned a little smaller, the noises became sharper. He found himself pushing himself easily onto his back paws, standing up the same way the other, larger creatures did.

The world looked different and his body felt unnatural. His eyes peered down at his front paws that looked very different now, larger and with longer fingers. He felt stronger, steadier, less confused—even though it only made his mind hazy with all the questions he had about what had just happened to him and the three other turtles—who were all standing on their back paws, too, looking dazed and curious as they looked at themselves and each other with wide eyes.

Brothers, his brain whispered to him suddenly, the word floating into his mind as if it’s been waiting for his mind to comprehend its meaning this entire time. They’re my little brothers.

Off to the side he could see the creature who’d carried and dropped their tank writhing in pain, looking much different now. He looked furry and supported a large, long and pink tail. His fingers suddenly looked a little more like long claws, and his face turned sharp and pointy with a pair of red eyes blinking through the pain it seemed to express.

“Huh?” one of his brothers chirped.

“Eh…” another one whined.

He sent a look toward the creatures that had dropped the thing that had contained the glowy stuff he and his brothers (and the furry creature) were now covered in. They were all down, their bodies unmoving. He was relieved, because he wasn’t sure what he would have done otherwise.

But then he saw that something pink was crawling out of the stomach of one of the creatures—something pink and frightening that made his youngest brother croak in alarm and stumble back on his unsteady back paws. The sound made the furry creature look up, finally not screaming in agony anymore, although he looked too weak to do anything to stop the pink stuff from approaching the turtles—although it also looked like from his place on the ground he couldn’t even see the pink stuff with the tentacles, so it was pointless either way.

“Ah…” the one with the 3 on his back looked at the pink stuff that was approaching him, then moaned fearfully as he pulled into his shell, making it drop to the ground with a clop that was soon followed by the other two that were near him, but the strange, pink gooey thing kept on approaching them, a smile that sent shivers down his spine etched on his face.

The turtle looked from his brothers to the gooey thing, his eyes wide open in alarm. The furry creature was obviously too disoriented to react, still in pain, but his brothers were in obvious danger and someone had to protect them, right? They were only just born! This thing couldn’t harm them just like that!

Frowning, he took a step forward to step in the way between the pink creature and his little brothers. He trilled warningly at it, trying to make it back off just like that, but the creature kept on advancing, so he did the only thing he could think of—he held his front paw back, then brought it forward as quickly as he could—the same way the kind creature had done earlier to the other creatures with the glowing ooze—and smacked his fist against the pink stuff.

It didn’t hurt too much because the creature was sort of spongy, but it did the trick and made it screech in alarm and crawl away quickly, leaving the turtles be. Unfortunately, the force of the hit left the turtle unstable and he stumbled back before finally dropping right back in the glowing goo. It made his skin prickle and he scrambled to get out of it quickly, sighing in relief when his three brothers poked out of their shells to look at him in relief.

But then the relief left him instantly the moment the furry creature finally got up and turned to the turtles, looking at them and then all around, his eyes frantic, as if he was looking for something. After several minutes of that, he turned back to the turtles with a heavy sigh, looking very sad and grave as they clucked and clicked at him in confusion.

“I am sorry,” he said, looking down at his hands before looking into the eyes of the three turtles that were covered in the least amount of ooze, and this time they understood him. “I could not even protect your brother.”

“Huh?”

“Wha?”

“Hmm…”

Instead of explaining himself to them, the furry creature got up—looking down at his body for a moment as he seemed to find his balance—then bent down to lift up the three turtles that were still trilling at him in confusion. They sent the fourth one looks, as if wondering why he was being left out of it. Was it because he was covered in more goo? Was it because he punched that pink creature?

“Come, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo,” said the furry creature, “let us find somewhere to hide, where you won’t lose anyone else; where you’ll be safe.”

And he started walking away, sticking to the shadows to keep out of sight, forcing the baffled and dejected turtle—the eldest—to follow him on his hind paws, hurt swirling around his mind as he tried to understand why he was being left out of this; why this creature was acting as if he wasn’t even around anymore…

It didn’t take long to realize that the furry creature—a rat, according to him—was incapable of seeing him. It didn’t take him long to realize that his three little brothers couldn’t always see him, either. Only sometimes… from time to time… they would suddenly look around and their eyes would land on him and light up as they’d wobble toward him excitedly, chirping happily.

The rat—who was very obviously their dad—called himself Splinter, and he made sure the three turtles knew that their names were Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo, which they accepted easily enough, even though they could still hardly pronounce those long names. He also made it pretty obvious that he believed the fourth and oldest turtle—Leonardo—had died from his second dip in the ooze that had turned them all into what they were right now.

“I’m not dead!” Leonardo tried to yell at them while watching as Splinter made food for the three turtles and himself, not noticing his fourth son standing right next to him. “I’m not dead! I’m not dead!”

But even his brothers seemed to be immune to his shouts. They just went on with their days, unknowingly being watched by him as he kept an eye on them—because even if he couldn’t interact with them that often, at least he could make sure they were okay; at least he could keep them safe, which had to be enough for him, even if he longed to be acknowledged a little more.

Whenever his brothers did see him, Splinter seemed to think they were imagining him—out of grief, Leonardo had heard him say one day—which saddened him, but he couldn’t do anything about it. All he could do was enjoy his time with his brothers the best he could until they once again stopped noticing him.

He didn’t need to eat like they did. He could feel pain if he fell down, but he never actually got hurt. There were never marks on his scales or his shell. He grew up right alongside his little brothers, unseen and unheard, but clearly developing as well. He couldn’t touch things except for them—only when they could see him—and even then it was clear they couldn’t feel him entirely, only slightly… like a warm sort of tingle.

It hurt. It felt like he was ghost, watching everyone around him from the shadows, unable to join in unless the circumstances allowed it. Yet he stayed with them, hanging out even if they weren’t aware of him, because this was his family, and he wasn’t going to leave them behind.

“It’s my turn!”

“No, it’s mine! Give it back, Wapha—Waphaaa… urgh!”

Leonardo watched with a wince as Michelangelo threw his hands up in frustration at failing once more to say Raphael’s name. He kept on eyeing the ninja stars his brother was brandishing, though, holding them above his head and out of the youngest’s reach thanks to his slight height advantage.

Off to the side, shuffling his feet and looking nervous, Donatello sent a look over his shoulder to make sure nobody was approaching the dojo right now. Master Splinter was supposed to be above surface for an errand—to get them all some food—so they promised to act properly and behave in his absence… only to then sneak into the dojo to grab some kind of weapon they knew they weren’t allowed to touch yet.

“Ha ha!” Raphael laugh. “You can’t even say it! What happened? Too hard for you, Micheageo?”

“You didn’t say it wight, either!” protested Michelangelo.

“Guys!” snapped Donatello anxiously. “Can you put the stars back? Dad could weturn any minute now…”

Michelangelo stamped his foot on the ground. “Not befow I get to thwow the stars, too!” he yelled as he tried to once more reach out for the shiny weapons his brother was holding. “Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie! Or I’ll take them fwom you!”

Laughing, Raphael stepped back and started running away from Michelangelo and out of the dojo. “I want to see you twy.”

Leonardo shook his head in exasperation as the two started chasing each other all around the lair, Donatello staring at them with wide, worried eyes as he kept on standing the entrance a look, clearly expecting Splinter to appear them any moment now and catch them with the ninja stars.

The duo ran through the kitchen, the bedrooms and Donatello’s lab that Splinter had allowed him to mess around in from time to time. Eventually they got to the living room, where they started running in circles, Raphael laughing and Michelangelo whining behind him, slightly out of breath as he kept on trying to get the forbidden ninja stars.

And then Michelangelo tripped over one of Donatello’s toys that was left on the ground, making him stumble and fall with a winded “oof!” that made Donatello wince and Raphael stop running and laughing as he turned to look at his brother over his shoulder.

For a second Michelangelo looked more stunned than anything, and then he burst into tears while sitting on the floor, looking both extremely dramatic and miserable as he wept, clutching his wrist like it was aching after his fall.

Donatello took a few steps closer to him, looking worried as he stopped looking around for Splinter and instead seemed to try and figure out how to calm his brother down. Raphael switched the ninja stars from one hand to the other, eyeing Michelangelo with trepidation as he shuffled his feet and didn’t come any closer, like he wasn’t sure how he could possibly help.

Heart aching, Leonardo stepped closer to Michelangelo and bent down to be at his eye level, taking him in quickly to make sure he wasn’t hurt badly, but even his wrist seemed to be okay—he may have landed on it, but it didn’t look too bad… maybe… he didn’t know that much about injuries, after all, being no older than five…

“It’s okay,” he said soothingly, even though he could tell none of them could see or hear him right now. “You’re going to be okay. You just fell. Shh… it’s okay…”

“Is he hurt?” fretted Donatello. “Tell me he’s not hurt!”

“It’s your toy!” said Raphael defensively. “It’s your fault!”

“He was chasing you!”

“So what?”

Leonardo groaned.

Michelangelo kept on sobbing. “I w-want L-Leona—er—um—” he stumbled over the name, then started over. “I want my bwother!”

“I’m here,” said Leonardo desperately, his skin tinging as his eyes turned slightly misty. “I’m right here, Mikey, I promise, I’m always here.”

Opening his eyes and sniffing pitifully, Michelangelo looked at him—straight at him—and then threw his hands around Leonardo so he could weep into his plastron and hug him, as if to make sure Leonardo couldn’t escape even if he wanted to. Not that he would—not when hie brother could see him again.

He hugged him back tightly, knowing it wouldn’t offer as much comfort as a hug from someone who was completely present would have, yet it seemed to make Michelangelo feel better because slowly but surely his breaths mellowed down and his sobs switched to hiccups that made his entire body bounce.

Off to the side, Leonardo could see Raphael and Donatello stepping even closer, looking at him in relief and with matching grins, clearly just as happy to see him as Michelangelo was. Donatello hesitated for a brief moment, then approached Leonardo and hugged him too, careful not to disturb Michelangelo too much so he wouldn’t resume his crying session. Raphael just looked at them, still playing with the ninja stars.

“I fell,” whined Michelangelo, voice muffled since his beak was pressed to Leonardo’s plastron. “Wapha—Wapha… he made me fall,” he settled for pointing at Raphael accusingly.

“No, I didn’t!” protested the older turtle, suddenly looking at Leonardo like he actually expected to get punished for it now that his older brother was around. “He fell because of the toy! He never looks whewe he’s going!”

With a sigh, Leonardo rubbed Michelangelo’s shell soothingly, purring in the hopes of getting his youngest brother to keep quiet for once.

“I saw what happened,” he told them. He eyed the ninja stars pointedly and Raphael quickly hid them behind his back, as if that would erase them from Leonardo’s mind. “Mikey, it was an accident, okay? You tripped over the toy. Raph didn’t mean to hurt you. But you really should look where you’re going, all right? You could get really hurt.”

“I am looking!” He hesitated. “Am I Mikey?”

“It’s a nickname,” explained Leonardo.

Michelangelo sniffled again and pulled away so he could look into his eyes. “What’s your nickname?”

“Er…”

“Leo,” suggested Donatello.

“Leo,” repeated Michelangelo slowly, then he grinned. “Yes. I can say Leo. And Mikey. And Waph.” He looked at Donatello as the turtle pulled away from Leonardo, too, opting to sit on the floor next to him instead, as if making sure they were still close enough to each other. “And you can be… Don.”

Donatello frowned. “No.”

Raphael snorted. “Want to be called Dona?”

Donatello threw him a narrow-eyed look.

“Donnie,” suggested Leonardo before they could start bickering.

“Donnie’s fine.”

“Great. Now take these ninja stars back to the dojo before Dad comes back, guys,” he said, and when they groaned all around him, he added, “unless you want to get scolded and punished for it when he gets back here and sees what you did, I mean.”

Donatello looked almost relieved at the idea of finally putting the ninja stars away, but Raphael still looked upset at the idea—as did Michelangelo.

“But I didn’t get to play with them!” he objected, tugging at Leonardo’s hand to try and gain his full attention. “Leo, Waph didn’t let me play with them! It’s not fair!”

Leonardo sent Raphael a chiding look. “Raph wasn’t supposed to play with them, either. It’s dangerous. He could have gotten hurt even more than you did. Just put them back and go watch TV instead.”

Mikey pouted.

“Ugh, fine,” relented Raphael, and he then hesitated for a moment before stepping closer to Michelangelo and offering him the ninja stars. “Here, you can put them back, Mikey, okay? Just stop whining.”

Apparently that was all the youngest turtle needed, because he beamed, let go of Leonardo, and grabbed the ninja stars as he excitedly got up and ran toward the dojo, Raphael following closely after receiving a look from Leonardo that told him he needed to keep an eye on him.

Which left Donatello and Leonardo alone in the living room, sitting on the floor of the living room while looking after their brothers as they disappeared into the dojo.

“Leo?” he said after a few moments, sounding hesitant and unsure.

“Hmm?”

Donatello shifted in his place a little, then kept on talking, though his eyes were trained on his legs. “When are you going to come back again? I missed you.”

His heart ached at the words. He felt the purr renewing in his chest and he didn’t try to stifle it as he looked at his younger brother while forcing himself not to cry. Unlike his brothers, he didn’t have anyone around most of the time to soothe him when he was upset, so he tried not to cry too much. The feeling of sobbing endlessly without receiving any comfort… it hurt.

“I’m always here, Donnie,” he said, trying to sound as confident as he could when his brother turned back to look at him sadly. “Even if you can’t see me, I’m here. I swear, I’ll never leave you guys.”

Despite the words, Donatello’s lip still quivered as he started to cry silently. Unlike Michelangelo, who was extremely loud, Donatello was quiet even before Leonardo pulled him back toward him and into an embrace. With Donatello no longer looking at his face, Leonardo allowed himself to release a couple of tears, then he subtly dried them with the crook of his elbow and pulled away to smile at his brother.

“I missed you, too, Donnie.”

Sniffing, Donatello only trilled sadly and cuddled back against him, making the most of Leonardo’s time with them.

It became very cold in the lair. Leo couldn’t feel the chill like the others could, but he could see his brothers shivering in their shells with matching grimaces and weary yawns that forced their beaks to widen up before they settled back down, looking like they might keel over at any moment.

Luckily, it was nothing new. They all knew that come winter, they tended to get very… sleepy. Splinter had told them that regular turtles went through the same things during winter, as well. It was called brumation, and it meant that the cold weather made their bodies automatically react, making them sluggish and tired so they’d need less things to sustain themselves with. Or… something like that.

Leo did become slower during this time, but it was nothing compared to his brothers. Mikey, who always tended to run around energetically and speak very loudly, became a shadow of himself during these months, walking slowly around their home while yawning loudly and dropping dead on the couch or in his bed every chance he got.

Since all his brothers suddenly became much less active during the winter, it was Leo’s least favorite time. He got easily bored from watching them as they nestled in their beds to keep warm and sleep for most hours of the day and night. He felt like he might drive himself crazy, just sitting there and watching as they went about in a sort of haze, clearly not taking much in.

So, with nothing better to do, he started sticking to Splinter more often than not, since the rat was the most alive person around. While Raph, Donnie and Mikey were asleep, Splinter would train in the dojo by himself or cook food or check up on his children to make sure they were warm and healthy.

With his own metabolism working much slower than usual, though, Leo found that he mostly enjoyed practicing mediation with his dad. It meant he could just sit and concentrate for long periods of time, which was perfect for him in the winter. And it was actually kind of fun because he thought he wasn’t half bad at it. He had no idea what Splinter’s opinion would have been, but he felt… slightly better after meditating, like his doubts and pain rolled off his chest for a while thanks to the peace and quiet of the exercise.

One day, while he was practicing meditation next to Master Splinter, Leo heard a quiet moan from outside the dojo—faint and distant and weak. Splinter’s ears twitched toward the sound and he cracked an eye open, which meant the sound was real and Leo wasn’t imagining it.

Straining his own ears—did he even have ears?—Leo waited to see if he would hear something more. Splinter did the same, keeping his eye open, clearly wondering if the noise would repeat itself. And it did, several seconds later, still just as faint; although this time it was whinier, mixed with the tremors indicating someone was about to burst into tears. And Leo understood what it was saying this time.

“Leo…”

He sprang to his feet immediately, although not as quickly as Splinter. The rat got up and walked out of the dojo, Leo close behind him, and they both made their way across the lair and toward Mikey’s bedroom.

Inside, the seven-year-old turtle was sitting in bed, gripping his blanket tightly and staring at the shadows all around his room with wide, terrified eyes that were filled with tears that streaked down his cheeks and to his chin. The moment Splinter stepped inside, his lips wobbled even more and he sobbed even harder, his hold on the blanket tightening.

“Michelangelo, what’s wrong?” said Splinter gently as he walked over to the bed and sat down at its foot, looking at the little turtle worriedly.

“B-bad dream,” sniffled the boy and he looked all around the room quickly, squinting at different things without seeming to feel any better. His eyes glided right over Leo, unseeing. “I w-want L-Leo.”

Splinter sighed deeply and ran his hand over Mikey’s head—a calming gesture that usually worked for him whenever one of the kids was distressed, but this time Mikey didn’t seem to even acknowledge it, still looking around the room, as if waiting for Leo to appear before him in order to help him calm down from his nightmare.

“I know, my son,” said Splinter. “I want Leonardo here, as well.”

“He wasn’t—he wasn’t coming b-back,” croaked Mikey, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. “H-he was g-g-gone forever and e-ever. I n-need to see h-him! I n-need to see that h-he’s okay!”

“Mikey…” murmured Leo as he moved around the bed to sit on Mikey’s other side, his hand ghosting over his shoulder’s shell without touching.

Sighing, Splinter nodded slowly. “I’m sure you’ll see him soon again soon, Michelangelo,” he said, which was impressive, seeing as he clearly didn’t truly believe the three turtles were seeing Leo. “It was only a nightmare, not reality. Do not confuse the two, my son.”

Mikey’s lips kept on wobbling. “B-but he doesn’t have an-anyone to t-tuck him into bed a-and g-give him goodnight kisses and m-m-make sure he’s w-warm. I-it’s really c-cold, Dad. H-he could be f-freezing, all a-alone, a-and we wouldn’t k-know because we c-can’t s-see him and—and—” He shuddered. “He t-told Raph t-to give me his d-dinosaur plushie when I w-was sad, b-but when he’s s-sad no one gives h-him plushies to cheer him u-up!”

“Mikey, don’t worry about me,” crooned Leo softly as he watched his brother sadly, his heart breaking at the fact that he couldn’t soothe him back to sleep. “I’m okay. I’m fine. I really, really am.”

Of course, Mikey couldn’t hear him.

“I am certain your brother is doing just fine,” said Splinter warmly. “You, on the other hand, should go back to sleep. You’re still exhausted.”

“I can’t sleep! I want Leo!”

“And what do you think Leonardo would have done had he been here?”

Leo glanced uncertainly at Splinter, wondering what he was doing. He knew the old rat didn’t actually believe he was still around. In Splinter’s opinion, Leo has been dead for years now. What did he expect to hear Mikey say, then? Honestly, what would he have done had he been able to be seen and felt by Mikey?

Sniffing and wiping more of his tears away, Mikey pouted for a moment, then looked up at Splinter with sparkling eyes. “H-he would’ve r-rubbed my shell, a-and he would’ve purred t-to calm me down. He w-would’ve t-told me he was fine and that he’s always ar-around—he always says that, so it m-must be true…”

With a hum, Splinter started running his fingers in circles over Mikey’s shell, making the young turtle purr quietly in response. Leo watched silently as Mikey stopped crying, his eyes left red and puffy but dry. He sniffed again and wiped the rest of his tears off his face, sending a look around once more, as if knowing Leo was in the room with them, somewhere…

“He would’ve told me to go to sleep,” murmured Mikey.

“Then maybe you should listen to him so he doesn’t worry about you, Michelangelo.”

Leo was relieved when Mikey actually listened to their dad, churring a little as he lay back down in bed, sending one last look around before he closed his eyes to fall back asleep, snuggling under the blanket to keep himself as warm as possible.

Splinter stayed in the room until Mikey’s breaths turned even and calm, then he left again, leaving the door open—probably in case Mikey woke up again and called for him. Leo watched him leave, considering joining him back in the dojo, before he noticed Mikey’s eyes fluttering open once more, a light shade of blue glancing around the dark room, searching for something.

“Leo?” he whispered.

“Yes, Mikey?” he said, even though he knew his brother couldn’t hear him.

Several moments passed, then Mikey shifted a little on the bed, making room next to him. “I know you’re supposed to stay with Donnie tonight, but if you’re here… can you please stay?”

And even though his brother wouldn’t be able to tell whether Leo stayed or not, he climbed fully onto the bed and lay on his side while facing Mikey’s unseeing gaze. He knew his brother couldn’t see him still, but something in his face relaxed after a short while and he finally closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep, Leo watching him with a sad little smile on his face.

Leo shook his head in exasperation as he watched Mikey snoring in his bed from the moment his body hit the mattress. It made sense—they have been increasing the difficulty of their training with Splinter lately—but it will still forever be remarkable to see how he could just crawl onto his bed, close his eyes and immediately sink into a deep slumber.

It was a nice change of pace from the days when Mikey would need Splinter to soothe him to sleep every single night without fasil, whining about monsters under his bed or in his closet—a theory that would have gone away much faster had Raph not taken it upon himself to frighten Mikey by dressing up and making creepy noises in the middle of the night just to mess with him.

Seeing that his brother was doing okay, Leo moved over to the entrance of Donnie’s room, poking his head inside quietly. Donnie was still clearly awake, although he was evidently trying to sleep, his body shifting every now and then to try and find the optimal posture to relax in. It was something he tended to do almost all the time, so Leo wasn’t worried—he knew it would just take Donnie several minutes to finally close his eyes and fall asleep, but it would happen eventually.

So, moving on. He walked over to Raph’s room and frowned when he saw his brother leaning on one of his forearms while punching his pillow with his fist, a prominent scowl on his face. He sent a look toward Leo when he crossed the threshold, which let him know he could see him right now for some reason. Then he went right back to beating up his pillow as if it was one of the punching bags Splinter had gotten them for training.

“What’s wrong?” asked Leo as he walked closer to the bed. “What did the pillow do to you this time?”

“It’s too stiff,” growled Raph as he gave it another punch. Then he stiffly lied back down, though he looked just as upset as he did before, so Leo figured his match against the pillow didn’t help him all that much, after all. “I can’t sleep like that!”

“Keep your voice down before you wake everyone else up,” warned him Leo as he made his way over to the bed to sit on it. “And your pillow’s fine, Raph, so what’s actually the matter? You’ve been mad ever since you guys finished training today.”

His brother sent him an annoyed look. “How would you know? You weren’t even there,” he bit out. “We haven’t seen you around in almost half a year.”

That was true, and Leo hated it. He’s been wandering around the lair with his brothers every day, waiting for the moment they would see him again and always ending his day with a resigned sigh at once again being overlooked. Splinter still thought he was dead; and now his little brothers all refrained from even speaking his name, as if uttering it would confirm to them that Leo really was gone after not being spotted by either one of them for so long.

But he’s been around, nonetheless, laughing at Mikey’s antics, listening to Donnie’s rants about whatever new he discovered, watching fondly as Raph raised his new pet turtle, Spike. He’s been around, only… unheard. And he could tell it was weighing on his brothers, but there was nothing he could do but watch, observe, listen and offer comfort that would never reach them.

“I don’t control it,” he said quietly.

Raph punched his pillow once more. “Yeah, well, you can’t just disappear and then waltz back in here as if nothing’s changed. You can’t leave us alone for months and then return and expect us all to be happy, Leo. Every time you disappear Donnie shuts himself in his lab and Mikey gets cranky and sad. Splinter doesn’t even think you’re real!”

He knew that, too. He saw every time Donnie locked himself up in his lab, testing and mixing substances together to pass the time with less excitement and more determination, as if he needed to work as hard as possible to make himself think about anything but the hole left behind at Leo’s lack of a presence around.

And Mikey, the one who always ate the most around the lair, tended to eat less and babble much less frequently each time Leo vanished suddenly, especially if it happened while they were hanging out together when Leo suddenly turned invisible again. It left the liveliest person in the lair become a shadow of himself for over a week each time—which was probably the only good thing about the fact that Leo hasn’t been seen by anyone for half a year now, since his brothers didn’t suffer through this all over again.

“You think I don’t know that?” said Leo, keeping his voice down even though his words were sharper than before. “You think I like being unseen by my own family? I’m here every day and none of you are aware of it. I can’t say good morning when you wake up, I can’t eat lunch with you, I can’t fight over the TV remote with you, I can’t be tucked into bed by Splinter like all of you—I just have to observe everything from the outside, like some kind of ghost. You think I like it?”

“Well, at least you don’t have to listen to Splinter’s long speeches about how you have to be more responsible and look out for your brothers, okay? He won’t shut up about it because I’m the oldest around here! I never wanted to be responsible for Donnie and Mikey! I love them, and I’d protect them, but I’m not cut out to be responsible for those two! It’s not fair! It’s supposed to be your job!”

“God, Raph, you’re so selfish!” snapped Leo as he glared at his brother as he sat up on the bed, shell pressed to the headboard as his hand seemed to inch closer to the nightstand, where he had his training katanas, which were made of wood. “I’d give anything just to hear one rant from Splinter about looking over you guys, and you’re trying to tell me you’re the one suffering through this? At least you have a parent and brothers who can see you all the time!”

He got up, intending to leave the room and let Raph bask in his anger alone—he didn’t need Leo right now. If all he was going to do was complain about Leo not being there for him, then Leo would give him a reason to be this upset over it. This wasn’t fair to either one of them, he knew, but he felt like this was worse for him. At least Raph had his family to turn to when things got rough. Leo… he had only himself.

But before he could walk out the door, his steps faltered and his shoulders sagged. He could imagine Splinter’s disappointed look if he heard such a thing was happening between his sons. He would have surely encouraged Leo to be more mature and try and solve this instead of arguing with his brother like a little kid. And even though they were only nine, Leo knew better than to leave Raph to stew by himself—especially when the source of his anger was apparently… well… Leo.

So, taking in a deep breath to try and calm himself down—the way Splinter had told them all to do whenever they started fighting too much with each other—Leo closed his eyes and forced his heart to slow down. If Raph was going to be mad, Leo would have to be the steady one. He couldn’t let his anger flow from Raph to him, because then they would both be irrational.

“I’m…” he said quietly, the words forcing themselves up his throat and out his lips with difficulty, “I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t surprised when Raph didn’t reciprocate and only went back to lying in bed without another word, his eyes still narrowed angrily. Out of the four of them, Raph seemed to have the hardest time with apologizing and showing any type of emotion other than anger. It was something Leo didn’t take long to observe, and it was something Donnie and Mikey were clearly aware of, though they didn’t seem too bothered by it until it was directed toward them.

Taking in another deep breath and taking a step away from the door again, Leo cautiously said, “Look, you don’t have to talk to me, okay? I get that you’re upset with me for not always being able to help all of you. But I’m here right now, and I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to scram, so you can either talk to me or you can try going to sleep.”

Raph blinked up the ceiling without saying a word, then he turned his head away from the door and toward the nightstand, his gaze landing on the pair of wooden katanas resting there, his back now to Leo. It made the turtle sigh in slight frustration, but he tried not to linger on it as he came closer to the bed again before taking a seat on it once again, warily waiting to see if Raph would protest.

He didn’t, but Leo still didn’t relax.

For several minutes neither one of them said a word. Leo just looked around the room, resisting tapping his foot on the floor because he figured it would upset Raph even more. Eventually he ended up staring at Spike the turtle, who was currently sleeping peacefully in the corner of the room, a half-eaten lettuce leaf next to him.

A part of him was still utterly baffled by Raph’s insistence on growing a pet turtle of all things—why would he want to take care of a creature that they use to be like? What was the point there? Spike was like a reminder of what they could have been like had it not been for the ooze that had morphed them into what they were today. Still, he didn’t judge. Heck, the day Raph had gotten permission from Splinter to raise Spike in the lair, Leo had been around, offering Raph a proud smile as he huddled around the small turtle along with the rest of his brothers.

“It’s not the pillow,” Raph grumbled eventually, his voice lower than it was before and his eyes still trained on the katana.

Leo hummed but didn’t say anything.

“Splinter’s been training us all for a while now, right? And he keeps on telling me I’ll get better with practice, but I just don’t think I should be using katanas. I can’t seem to grasp them. They don’t feel right.”

He knew what he was talking about—Leo’s been observing their training sessions from the sidelines, following Splinter’s instructions without getting any feedback and without being able to lift an actual weapon even if he wanted to. He wasn’t even sure if he was any good, but he could tell that while Donnie and Mikey were getting the hang of their weapons, Raph was having a hard time with his own.

“Why haven’t you told Splinter anything about it? We have other types of weapons you can use, you know.”

“Because… because I don’t want to fail…” muttered Raph dejectedly as he finally tore his eyes away from the katanas in order to look up at Leo. He frowned. “Anyway, I think Splinter is going to switch me to something else without me asking him, anyway. He keeps telling me I’m too violent with the blades…”

“You really are,” he couldn’t help but comment.

Raph growled at him. “Am not. They’re dual blades—if you don’t use them to chop things to pieces, you don’t use them right.”

“You still need to be responsible with them,” Leo reminded him, and Raph groaned. “Don’t give me that—I saw how you nearly cut Donnie in two the other day because you were slashing around without a care in the world. If the katanas had been real, you would have caused some serious damage, Raph.”

That made his brother grumble a few words lowly, but he seemed to agree with Leo because he didn’t outright argue his point. Instead he sent the katanas another look—this one much more wary, as if he could imagine the hurt they would have inflicted upon Donnie had they been sharp instead of dull.

Leo smiled. “You should go to the dojo tomorrow and ask Splinter to try and find you a weapon that would suit you better,” he said. “Trust me, he’d appreciate you coming to him on your own rather than insisting on something that’s clearly not right for you.”

“I don’t want to be a failure…” admitted Raph into the quiet room, his eyes hesitantly turning back to Leo as he looked at him, almost pleadingly, asking for his help. “What if he’ll just think I can’t handle it if I just admit defeat like this? Mikey can do it! No way am I not going to be a ninja like Donnie and him. I can do this!”

“With the right weapon…” said Leo pointedly.

Snorting, Raph snuggled a little more comfortably under his blanket. “You’re so annoying, Leo,” he said gruffly, but there was no heat behind his words.

“What, and you think you aren’t?” he said teasingly, then kicked Raph’s leg lightly as he shifted his weight. “Hey, come on, make some space. I want to sleep, too.”

“Go sleep with Mikey!” shrieked Raph when Leo pushed him a little aside—even if it wasn’t all that effective with his touch barely affecting his brother—to get comfortable in the space that was now cleared for him. “He’d love to cuddle all night long, you know!”

“I take turns between all of you. I was with Mikey yesterday. The day before I was with Donnie. Now I’m with you,” said Leo simply as he looked at the blanket mournfully, knowing he wouldn’t be able to lift it over himself. “So suck it up, Raph, and go to sleep already.”

Smacking his pillow again, Raph glared at him for a moment, then grumbled some more under his breath as he turned his back on Leo, slowly drifting to sleep. Watching him for a moment or two and listening to his breaths evening out, Leo sighed in relief. Now that his brother was asleep, he looked much less hostile than he did while awake. He almost looked peaceful—which wasn’t a description Leo would have normally used for him.

Then his gaze trailed over Raph’s sleeping form and over to the katanas on his nightstand. They were too long for the furniture, but Raph didn’t seem to care. Maybe because they weren’t as dangerous as they could have been, being made out of wood and everything.

With one look toward Raph, Leo shifted and reached over him to inspect the wooden blades from up close. He held out his fingers reverently, ghosting them over the katanas despite knowing he won’t be able to touch him, which meant that he was extremely surprised when he found himself feeling the material as if they were both equally as solid.

With one more look toward Raph, Leo tried to close his three fingers around the hilts, a crease forming between his eyes as he stared in wonder at the katanas as he pulled them over Raph and toward his side of the bed. He could actually touch them, which was incredible. He tried swinging the blade softly and enjoyed the resistance he felt as he cut the air.

Raph mumbled something in his sleep.

Sending him one final look, Leo got out of bed and stepped out of the room and toward the dojo, gripping the katanas like his life depended on it as he grinned to himself, already knowing he won’t sleep at all tonight—he had to practice, now that he had something to train with.

Leo sat next to Mikey in front of Splinter, the four turtles facing their sensei with bowed heads as they waited to hear his reaction to their recount of what had gone on above the surface during their first trip topside. And even though Splinter wasn’t acknowledging him in the least, Leo felt like he was waiting for the disappointed to be aimed directly toward him, too.

He still felt like crap after having to watch uselessly as his brothers fought off those men that had kidnapped the man and his daughter. What was the point in existing around his brothers if he couldn’t even help them defend themselves and others when they were in trouble? It was painful to watch as the men brutally handled them in the middle of that street without being able to assist anyone.

And even worse—when Mikey had followed that one guy away from the others and had discovered that it was a robot with a brain thingy in his stomach, Leo was there. Since he couldn’t help the fight itself, he decided to at least keep an eye on them all, and when Mikey ran off, he decided to follow him. So when Donnie and Raph didn’t take Mikey seriously, Leo really wished he could tell them both to listen to their brother for a change, but none of them could hear him…

Cringing, Leo took every word Splinter had to tell them about their way of handling the situation. He knew they did really badly. He saw the way Mikey, Raph and Donnie kept on hitting each other while trying to fight off these robot men, and he figured he would have done the same thing accidentally had he been able to swing his katanas at anyone.

He brushed his fingers against the hilts of the pair of swords he had strapped to his back self-consciously, worrying they might vanish from existence if he thought about how deserving he was of them for too long. It was already a miracle in his eyes that they both just materialized before him one day, very clearly tied to his state of existence—he didn’t want to jeopardize it in any way.

Next to him, Mikey shifted uneasily at their sensei’s words. Leo looked at his three brothers and found them all looking upset as they took in the criticism with no complaint, although Donnie did protest when Splinter told them they would have to start training with him to work as a team for a whole year before they would be allowed to go back up to the surface again.

For a few seconds Master Splinter had his back to them, hands behind his back, as he stared at the portrait he had left of him—as a human instead of a rat—with his late wife and daughter. Leo could see Donnie anxiously shifting in place, looking at Splinter’s back pleadingly, hoping he would let them get back to the surface in order to save the kidnapped humans.

And then Splinter turned back to face them all. “Yes,” he said gravely, “you must save her.”

But while Leo agreed that they really did need to get back up there and help these people…

“Uh… how are we supposed to do that?” said Mikey.

Donnie slumped down a little. “Yes… we weren’t exactly a well-oiled machine back there,” he said reluctantly.

The fact that Raph wasn’t protesting in any way made Leo realize that even he felt like they were too inexperienced in this to make it work this time around, which was a nice change of pace with the guy that always seemed to think he could do anything. Maybe it was because he just had his first ever actual fight just now. That had to have been pretty unnerving.

“Like that robot with the brain thingy,” Mikey chimed in.

“Give it a rest,” groaned Raph as he and Donnie turned to give Mikey exasperated looks.

Leo just sighed.

Master Splinter stroked his ratty beard thoughtfully. “If you are to fight more effectively as a unit, you are going to need a leader,” he said after a moment.

They were quiet for a moment, just staring at him as the words seemed to sink in.

Leo hung his head down and sighed. He would have loved to be the leader. True, he didn’t get to watch much of Space Heroes because Raph—especially—hated the show, but whenever they did put him on, Leo liked watching it, always imagining himself taking Captain Ryan’s place and being the same kind of hero.

But he couldn’t be a leader even if he wanted to—not when his own team wouldn’t be able to see or hear him most of the time. So he just slumped down dejectedly and tried not to dwell on the realization that here he was, missing out on another thing his brothers would get to do—take part in an adventure just like his favorite characters.

This was just plain unfair, in his opinion.

“Uh…” Donnie looked at Raph, then over at Splinter, “which one of us?”

“Hmm…” hummed the rat.

“I kicked all of their butts,” said Raph after a moment, smacking his fist against his open palm. “I should be the leader.”

Donnie scoffed and straightened up. “I’m smarter than all of you guys put together. It should be me!”

Shaking his head at them both, Mikey said, “I wish Leo was here.”

Leo perked up and sent his brother a fond and confused look. The other two turned to him as well, looking much more baffled by his words than Splinter did as he looked at the three of them contemplatively, clearly ignoring Mikey’s comment in favor of trying to come up to a decision regarding this matter.

“What?” said Mikey when he noticed the looks he was getting. “I think he would have made a good leader. Plus, he’s smart and he beat Raph when they trained together once—remember, Donnie? He would have been perfect for this…”

“Well, he’s not here,” said Raph, sending a look around, as if to make sure he was right. “We can’t have our leader come and go when we’re in trouble. And he can’t even fight anyone other than us, so thanks Mikey, for the useless suggestion.” He turned back to Splinter. “I’m the oldest. I should be the one to lead!”

Splinter shook his head and walked over to his room. “This is a difficult decision. I will meditate on it.”

And then he closed the door and left them alone.

“Raph!” yelled Mikey as he swung back and forth from the hold of the newly named Snakeweed. “Your plan is terrible!”

Raph grimaced as the plant being shook Mikey even more, his eyes darting around urgently as he seemed to search for a solution for this predicament. Alas, Donnie was busy rescuing that ginger girl, so he couldn’t help either one of his brothers, and Leo wasn’t exactly in the position to offer them a hand, seeing as they couldn’t even see him—let alone the robots and mutant they were facing.

“Uh…” he said uncertainly, panic overtaking his features as he seemed to realize Mikey could get badly hurt if he didn’t figure out something to do soon.

Mikey yelled some more, then called, “Leo!!” His voice was shaky and screechy, and the volume and desperation filling it made Leo hunch in on himself as he tightened his grip on his katanas that were as helpful as he was when they couldn’t even touch anything around him.

“Come on!” he screamed—at the universe itself, maybe. “Can’t you let me help them just this once? They need my help!” He kicked at the ground, then groaned when Raph still didn’t spot him with his frantic eyes. “At least let them hear me! They need me!”

His skin tingled.

“Leo!” called Mikey, and this time his scared, blue eyes seemed to land directly on Leo. “Leo, heeeeeeeelp!”

“Leo?” Raph repeated, then his gaze suddenly settled on Leo and he blinked. “You’re here! Help! What do we do?”

Wow, yelling at the universe works, he thought in a daze as he looked around, trying to actually come up with a solution to this fight. He was so desperate to be seen by his brothers, he hasn’t thought this far ahead. But then his eyes landed on the power generator and an idea sparked to life in his head—reckless and dangerous, but still a better idea than staring and gawking at Mikey being tossed around like a ragdoll.

“The power generator,” he told Raph loudly over the noise of the fight going on around them and Mikey’s yelps and screams. When Raph nodded in understanding, Leo turned to Mikey. “Mikey, catch!”

The orange-banded turtle stopped screaming for a moment and held out his hand to capture the katana. Leo wasn’t sure it would work, seeing as his weapon was clearly attuned to his strange state of being, but he sighed in relief when Mikey managed to grab the hilt of the blade and slash it upward to cut off the branch that’s been dangling him upside down.

Once he was back on his feet, he ran away from the screeching monster and toward Leo, hugging him tightly in relief.

“Dude, for a moment there I thought that was it,” he said dramatically. “I was already planning my days of pranking Raph as a ghost with you. It would have been so awesome, but I’m really glad I get to stay alive, too. Way better, bro.”

“Focus, Mikey,” chided Leo fondly as he pushed his brother away and forced him to turn around and face Snakeweed again. “Lead him toward the power generator, okay? But don’t get too close to it yourself or you’ll get hurt.”

“On it!” said Mikey with a mock salute before he returned Leo his katana and yelled loudly to draw Snakeweed’s attention to himself and away from Raph, who was trying to dance his way between the robots and the plant’s weedy tentacles toward the power generator.

Leo watched them anxiously. He tried once again to stab a robot with his blades, but nothing happened. Of course. That was just too much to ask.

“Are you gonna be all right?” Donnie asked April.

They were all on the fire escape just outside the window of her house. The girl was sitting on the windowsill with her arms wrapped around her knees and her gaze faraway. She looked solemn, which made sense, considering she was saved but not her father. But she wasn’t looking at Raph, Donnie or Mikey in disgust, so Leo figured that was a good thing, at least.

“I guess,” sighed the girl. “My aunt says I can stay here as long as I want.” She frowned. “But I’ll be a lot better once I track down the creeps that took my dad.”

They were all silent for a moment, taking this in. Leo could see Raph was busy thinking about other things, too, clearly distracted enough to not completely take part in the conversation. Mikey was both looking sympathetic toward April and excited to have Leo around again, because he was sitting as close to Leo as possible, as if not wanting to waste his time seeing him again.

Donnie, though, was fully focused on April. “April, I promise you, we will not rest until we find him.”

Raph blinked out of his daze and gave Donnie a stunned look. “We won’t?”

“No,” snapped Leo, “we won’t.”

April stared at Raph with slight apprehension. “This isn’t your fight. You don’t need to help me with this.”

“Of course we’ll help,” said Mikey enthusiastically, sending a look around at his brothers, eventually landing on Leo. “Leo’s the leader and he said we’ll help, so we will!”

“Mikey…” muttered Leo in exasperation.

“Master Splinter appointed Raph our leader for now, Mikey,” corrected Donnie, then he quickly added, “Not that we won’t help you, April! We will! Raph is just too tired to think properly. We’ll help you and your dad.”

April looked at him, then smiled gratefully. Off to the side, Raph grimaced at the scolding look he was receiving from Leo for his comment. Seriously, he knew Mikey and Raph had the hardest time with tact, but he still found himself being taken aback by their offhand comments from time to time.

“So…” swiveling her head to look at Mikey, April said, “your names are Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo, right?”

There were literal hearts in Donnie’s eyes from the moment she uttered his name. “Yes! You got it just right!”

“Then who’s Leo?”

They fell silent, their gazes automatically drifting over to Leo, who hunched in on himself and tried to make himself look smaller, for once wanting to turn invisible again. He hated it—every time someone reacted to his presence in a way that made it extremely obvious he didn’t exist on the same plane of reality as most people—including April, apparently.

“Er…” Raph and Donnie muttered uncertainly.

Leo couldn’t blame them—it was bad enough whenever they brought Leo up near Splinter only to get a look of polite disbelief from him, after all; they didn’t need to receive the same kind of look from April, or worse, seeing as she didn’t even know them for that long and might just think they were all lunatics if they started talking about an invisible fourth brother that was always with them.

“He’s our older brother,” said Mikey simply, turning back to face April.

“Guys, let’s go back home,” Leo urged them quickly.

April tilted her head to the side. “There are four of you? Why hasn’t he been here, then?”

“Guys,” he pressed.

“Mikey,” hissed Raph.

But the youngest just kept on going. “He has been around,” he said happily. “He’s right here, but you can’t see him. He’s like a chameleon or something—sometimes he’s just invisible. And we can’t hear him. And he’s… like… a ghost. It’s super freaky, but we’ve gotten used to it, right, bros?”

Donnie facepalmed and shook his head from side to side, muttering under his breath. Raph gave Mikey a furious look to try and shut him up again. Leo just sagged next to Mikey, resigned to watch as wariness crept onto April’s features as she looked at them all, as if waiting for someone to say Mikey was kidding. When she got nothing, her eyebrows shot up and she tipped her head to the side as her body shifted slightly toward the inside of her house.

“We’re not crazy,” said Donnie quickly when he noticed that. “It’s true. I think… I think something happened to him when we mutated, and it just affected him… differently,” he explained desperately. “He’s really here. You just can’t see him.”

April nodded slowly, though there was obviously still doubt in her gaze as she looked at them all apprehensively.

“Can we go now?” said Leo through gritted teeth.

“Why—ow!” Mikey yelped when Leo pinched his side hard enough to make him feel it. Rubbing his arm, he said, “Okay, okay, we can go. It’s like you don’t like April or something…”

“Or,” said Raph, “he doesn’t like being reminded that he doesn’t exist like normal people, dufus!”

“Oh… oops.”

Donnie rolled his eyes at them both. “Just go already.” Then he turned to the still-wary April and offered her a wobbly smile. “I know it’s weird—weirder than us being giant, talking turtles—but it’s true. But, um, you don’t really need to think about it too hard. We’ll help you find your dad—that’s all that matters.”

She stared at him for a moment, looking like she wanted to protest and claim that them having an invisible brother was important to her, but in the end she just smiled back at him and watched as he left after Raph and Mikey, climbing up to the roof and moving from there to the next building.

Leo lingered behind for a moment, watching April as she stared after his brothers with a baffled yet fond look, then he shook his head and followed them back home.

“Good job,” said Master Splinter after hearing about their mission to rescue April and her father from Raph—because even if Mr. O’Neal was still locked up, this was better than nothing. “I am impressed, Raphael. You proved to be an effective leader under the most difficult of circumstances.”

Raph opened his mouth to accept the compliment, but then his eyes fell on Leo, who decided to train a bit with his katanas again while listening to Raph and their father. Mikey and Donnie had asked him to stay with them, but he’d sent them to take showers first after their mission, so instead he followed to the dojo after Raph in order to debrief Splinter.

“Thank you, Sensei,” said Raph, “but, uh… I actually did a terrible job leading them. When Mikey was in trouble I couldn’t think of anything to do to help him or to fight off that weed monster. I just… I froze a little.”

Looking at him with an arched eyebrow, Splinter held his hands behind his back and hummed questioningly, clearly waiting to hear more. Leo stopped swinging his katanas around and instead focused on the two of them fully, his hands suddenly feeling numb under the weight of Raph’s eyes trained on him rather than their dad.

Sighing, Raph set his jaw as if to prepare himself, then turned back to Splinter. “I wasn’t the one who came up with the plan to win that fight. It… it was Leo.”

“Leonardo?” said Splinter with only a hint of surprise in his voice, like he was expecting something of the sort to come out of Raph’s mouth. “You’re saying he was there again?”

“He’s here right now, Master Splinter. He’s training right behind you.”

Leo tensed when Splinter sent a look over his shoulder to the area where he was standing, his eyes never quite landing on him. It made his heart ache a little, but he was so used to the feeling, he just brushed it off and instead forced himself to relax again.

Apparently deciding to amuse Raph, Splinter turned to him and asked, “And what does your brother has to say about your job as a leader today, Raphael?”

Raph’s lips parted momentarily before he slammed them shut, turning to owlishly look at Leo, who started shifting his weight between his legs, unsure as to whether he was actually supposed to answer this. Splinter used to only ask for his opinion on things when they were all much younger, clearly entertaining his three sons, figuring they were making the answers up on the spot.

But Raph wasn’t five anymore. So what was the point of asking if he didn’t really believe Leo was actually alive and there?

“Leo?” urged Raph.

“I…” Leo blinked, then put his katanas in their scabbards and approached the duo, taking a seat beside Raph, his eyes cautiously watching Splinter as the rat gave his sole attention to Raphael. “Does he really want to know?”

“He asked, didn’t he?” snapped Raph.

“Well?” said Splinter.

Leo shifted a little more. “I don’t want to do this with you in the room, Raph. Maybe call Donnie, instead. He’ll tell Splinter what I have to say.”

“What, you only have bad things to say?” snorted his brother, although he thought he heard a note of uncertainty and hurt hidden in his voice.

“No. I just don’t want to be rude. Go get Donnie already!”

Raph grumbled as he slowly got up. “Fine. I’ll get the geek to translate.” He turned to the confused Splinter and said, “Leo doesn’t want me to hear what he has to say. He asked if Donnie could tell you what he has to say instead.”

A flash of surprise glinted in the rat’s red eyes for a moment, but then he simply nodded, sending the look around him a thoughtful look, as if finally wondering if maybe there was actually a chance Leo was really still around and not only a figment of Raph, Donnie and Mikey’s imagination.

Biting his lips nervously, Leo waited in silence as Raph exited the dojo to get Donnie. He and Splinter could hear the sound of the others talking outside. Mikey must have turned the TV on because some of the voices were unfamiliar. There was a sudden crash that made Leo roll his eyes.

A few moments later, Donnie walked into the dojo, spotting Leo and Splinter facing each other with only one of them looking at the other. He looked like he wasn’t sure what to think about what was happening, yet he still took his place next to Leo and directly in front of Master Splinter, shifting his gaze between the other two quickly.

“Donatello, would you mind helping me interact with your brother?” said Splinter with not a hint of mockery in his voice.

Donnie glanced at Leo once, then looked back up at their dad again. “Hai, Sensei.”

“Well then, Leonardo,” said Splinter, his whiskers flickering, “how do you think Raph did today?”

Swallowing, Leo honestly said, “He was rush and reckless,” he said, Donnie quick to repeat his words with a wide-eyed look. “Instead of trying to come up with a plan, he’d rather just jump forward and improvise on the spot. And he got distracted easily every time something angered him.”

“…got distracted every—uh—wait…” Donnie moaned. “Leo, talk slower!”

“Sorry.”

“What did you say in the end?”

Leo told him more slowly and listened as he repeated the words out loud.

Splinter’s gaze bored into Donnie, as if he was trying to unravel a mystery. “Is that so?”

“Gee, Leo, no wonder you wanted Raph out of the room for this,” Donnie laughed incredulously now that he seemed to be able to think about what he just relayed to their dad. “He would have tried to strangle you for all of this.”

“There’s more,” said Leo.

“More?” repeated Donnie.

Splinter nodded, not looking surprised. “If there is more, then say it, my son.”

For a moment Leo was speechless, just staring up at Splinter with misty eyes. It has been so long since Splinter had last acknowledged his existence, so he hasn’t called Leo his son for years and years, and even then it was either to tell the story of how they all got mutated, or to roll along with the other three when they insisted that Leo was alive.

To hear it now… without hearing any skepticism laced with the words… it made Leo choke up a little, though he pushed through it—especially when he felt Donnie’s eyes trained on him, his facial features softening a bit at the clear sight of how emotional Leo was suddenly getting.

Clearing his throat, Leo said, “I think Raph has a lot of potential despite all of that. He cares about you guys, and he’d do anything to protect our family. That’s important in a leader, isn’t it?”

Donnie quickly repeated the words to Splinter, stumbling a little several times, but all in all doing a good job. Leo flashed him a smile that made the turtle straighten up a bit in his place as he flashed him back a smile that revealed the gap between his teeth.

Splinter nodded slowly. “Yes, very important indeed,” he said, stroking his beard thoughtfully. “So what is it that you think I should do, Leonardo?”

“I think you should give him a few other chances to try and improve. Raph will be hard on himself, but he’ll work on improving. Either way, only one time leading the others shouldn’t be enough indicator of whether or not he would make a good leader, right?”

Hearing the words from Donnie, Splinter nodded. “Very well. I shall wait to see how things progress from here.”

Leo smiled and sagged a little in relief.

Donnie crossed his arms over his chest. “I still think I would’ve done a better job than Raph.”

“Are those your words or your brother’s?” asked Splinter with a twinkle in his wise eyes.

“Er…” Donnie flushed a little, which was enough of an answer.

Leo elbowed him gently. “Relax, Donnie. If Raph fails, this will fall on you. You have nothing to worry about. Besides, do you really want to be responsible for Mikey?”

Donnie scrunched up his nose. “God, he’ll probably end up dead within five minutes…”

“He’ll be fine. But… yeah, it might be tough to get him to focus and listen. Not to mention Raph if you ever have to boss him around.”

Suddenly Donnie didn’t look like he wanted to lead the team quite so much.

Another crash from the living room made them both startle a little. Splinter looked nonplussed at the sound of Mikey yelping once before breaking into loud laughter. A moment later he screeched out Leo’s name. Donnie shook his head fondly at the sound of it. Leo just smiled and got up carefully, turning back to look at his dad.

“Can I leave now? I don’t want to turn invisible again before I get to be with Mikey a little,” he said, looking between Donnie and Splinter.

“Uh… Sensei, Leo asks if he can leave now.”

Master Splinter was silent for a moment, then he nodded once, and Leo turned on his tail and ran out of the dojo and toward the living room, not missing the way the rat’s eyes gleamed curiously right before he left he and Donnie alone.

Leo watched for a moment as Mikey ran quickly out of the lair, April looking after him with Donnie sitting next to her and checking out his computer, as if to make sure his little brother hadn’t ruined it somehow during his two minutes of messing with it. Raph, for his part, looked after Mikey with a look of utter disbelief, like he just couldn’t believe how he had a brother who was so gullible.

“Should we go after him?” asked Donny.

Raph turned to look at the two of them. “Nah. He’s gotta learn somehow. Besides, Leo might be following him right now, so Mikey’s gonna be fine.”

“You mean… your brother that’s presence is questionable and who you can’t see right now?” said April hesitantly, still clearly unsure when it came to Leo’s name being brought up. “How could he possibly help Mikey if he goes after him?”

Donnie and Raph exchanged a look, then just shrugged.

Sighing, Leo moved past them and quickly ran after Mikey, hoping to catch up to him. It wasn’t hard—Mikey was loud for a ninja, skipping ahead through the sewers with his endless enthusiasm. Well, not completely endless, Leo figured, since earlier that day he’d seen Mikey’s face drop at his confrontation with Donnie and Raph outside, before the ninjas had attacked them.

Humming to himself, Mikey seemed to enjoy his trek back toward the surface, to the point where Leo almost pitied him. He wasn’t sure what would happen, but he was certain it would make his little brother at least a little disappointed. After all, he grew up in a sheltered environment, surrounded by his family alone. He wasn’t used to mean people or the fact that he wasn’t normal and would scare humans easily simply by appearing before them.

“Aw, Mikey,” Leo sighed fondly as his brother climbed up toward the manhole cover.

Suddenly Mikey froze and glanced down over his shoulder, his face breaking into a wide grin. “Leo!”

Leo smiled back as he followed up the steps of the ladder. “Hey, little brother. Saw you were going to meet a new friend of yours. You don’t mind me tagging along, do you?”

“Of course not! I can’t wait to meet my new friend Chris Bradford! I bet he’s going to be really nice! And tough! And awesome! We’ll have so much to talk about, Leo! It’s going to be epic! You’ll probably like him a lot, too, bro!”

They climbed up to a dark alleyway and Leo glanced around to make sure there was nobody around, but other than a sleeping homeless guy, they were all by themselves.

“Hey, uh, Mikey?” he said when his brother started bounding away. “You know Raph was exaggerating earlier, right?”

“Huh?”

“When he said…” Leo trailed off momentarily, but then forced himself to continue. “When he said that nobody would want to be your friend. He was only joking. He didn’t really mean it.”

It made Mikey stop at the mouth of the alley. For a moment he remained standing with his back to Leo, but then he turned around and Leo was startled to see that his eyes weren’t crinkled with mirth but rather sparkly and glassy, like he was suddenly on the verge of crying, though he was clearly holding himself back, offering Leo a fake smile.

“Of course he was kidding. I know that,” said Mikey easily.

“Do you? Because I know it’s hard to accept the fact that humans will take one look at us and freak out, sometimes. I know you’ve been struggling with this since we were little—so have the others. It’s natural.”

“The guy with the cat wasn’t scared,” said Mikey quickly, “he was just worried I might be stealing his cat.”

That wasn’t true and they both knew it.

“We look different, Mikey, and people don’t know how to handle different,” said Leo cautiously as he stepped closer to Mikey, using the gentlest tone he could muster. “But if they gave you a chance—a real chance, like April is doing with us—they would absolutely love you. Because you’re fun and excited and smart—in your own special way—and you’re cool and know how to sneak around and use your nunchucks better than anyone else I know.”

Mikey whimpered a little, swaying in place for a moment as if unsure as to what he was supposed to do. Then he leaned forward and cuddled up to Leo like he used to do when he was younger all the time, whenever he showed up. Opening up his arms, Leo hugged his brother tightly, running his fingers over Mikey’s shell and emitting a soft purr to try and soothe him the best he could.

“Any person who doesn’t want to be your friend after getting to know you is an idiot,” said Leo with finality.

Mikey let out a wet sort of chuckle. “We’ll set Raph at them.”

“Let’s not traumatize people if we don’t have to, though.”

They stood there for what could have been five minutes or five hours—it was hard to tell, and seeing as Leo had nothing better to do and no one more important to hang out with… he didn’t really care. Plus, it meant that maybe Mikey would miss meeting Chris Bradford after all, which would be great because he didn’t think it would go over too well.

This was going to be a catastrophe—he could already tell. He watched as his brothers basically trashed the living room with pizza boxes and cans of soda. Then they made a ramp for skateboarding and Mikey somehow convinced Raph and Donnie to huddle at the bottom and let him skate over their bodies. He asked Leo to participate too, but the last thing he needed right now was for Mikey’s skateboard to accidentally pass through him and remind him just how nonexistent he was.

So of course the moment Mikey started sliding down Master Splinter stepped out of the dojo, looking decidedly annoyed. Leo was pretty sure he’s been trying to concentrate and meditate in there, so naturally their loud voices—especially Mikey’s—disturbed him and forced him to come out and see what was going on. And he did not look pleased.

He looked even less pleased when Mikey couldn’t stop in time once Raph and Donnie got up to face their dad, meaning he slammed right into them, making them all topple to the floor on top of each other.

“How many times have I told you not to skateboard in the lair?” demanded Splinter.

Mikey and Donni exchanged a look. “None, Sensei,” said Mikey.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you!”

They got up quickly, startled by his raised voice. When Leo looked at all of them he realized they were standing behind him while facing Splinter, as if wanting to be protected from his wrath by letting Leo stand in the way. Which would have been more helpful had Leo been seen by the rat, too. As it was, they were just huddled together, looking ashamed.

“Mikey,” said Leo, “you should be the one to apologize right now.”

“What? Why?” his head perked up as he turned to look at Leo.

Behind him, Donnie glared at his back and Raph narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“Because this was your idea. We were all in the wrong here—I should have told you to stop—but either way… apologize.”

Pouting, Mikey turned to face Splinter again—who now looked slightly confused as he looked at the space where Leo stood, where Mikey looked a moment earlier—and with a bowed head said, “I’m sorry, Sensei. We shouldn’t have skateboarded in here, you’re right.”

For a moment Splinter only looked at them as they all bowed to him respectfully, waiting to see how much trouble they were in for doing this. But instead of coming up with a fitting punishment for their misbehavior, Master Splinter focused on Mikey again and stepped a little closer. Leo took a step back to make sure he didn’t step right through him.

“I assume that Leonardo is here?” he said.

Mikey peeked up at him. “Uh, yes. He’s right in front of you.”

“And he saw exactly what happened here?”

“Uh…”

“Yes, Sensei,” said Donnie.

“Raphael,” the rat turned to the red-banded one who immediately straightened up worriedly, “tell me what Leonardo believes would be a fitting punishment for all of you.”

The three snapped their heads around to stare at Leo, who shrunk under their combined gazes, feeling mortification at the idea of suggesting what they should suffer through for their actions. He could tell they were pleading with him to go easy through their eyes alone—Mikey was leaning toward him so much he nearly fell down.

“Er… t-they-they should… clean up their mess?” he said weakly. When Raph repeated the words, Splinter crossed his arms, looking rather angry as he waited for more, so Leo went on. “And then… think about what they did.”

The other three immediately agreed, smiling comfortably at the idea of the punishment Leo was suggesting.

“What about being grounded for a week?”

Leo wanted to melt through the floor as his brothers chimed with, “I’m cool with the thinking,” “Really, that’s not necessary,” and, “Maybe next time.”

“You’re grounded for a week!” declared Splinter and the boys all sagged in defeat.

Leo watched as their dad left back to the dojo before the ramp they’d built crashed down loudly.

“Aw, man,” groaned Donnie the moment Splinter was out of hearing distance. “I was going to start working on that bit of Mutagen I have in the lab…”

“Well, now you’ll have an entire week to do just that,” said Raph irritably as he started picking up pizza boxes from the floor. “At least you’ll have something to do.”

“Well, yes, there’s plenty to do—”

Mikey whined loudly as he gathered broken planks of wood in his arms. “This is going to take forever! Leo, why did you fail us like this? We counted on you to get us a lighter punishment and instead we got grounded! For a week! When was the last time we got grounded??”

“We really don’t get grounded all that often…” commented Donnie. “We never left the lair before now, remember?”

He moaned dramatically again, then yelped when Raph kicked him to get him to shut up already.

“What did you want to do with that Mutagen, Donnie?” asked Leo.

“I, uh…” his brother shuffled his feet as he retrieved a broom, suddenly looking uncertain. He exchanged a look with Mikey and Raph, who both seemed to understand what he was talking about already, for some reason, then looked back at Leo. “Look, I’m not sure I’m right here, but I was thinking… maybe if the reason you’re like this is because you absorbed too much Mutagen… I could find a way to get the extra bit out and leave you with the amount of it that we have in our bodies.”

Leo stared at him, his brain refusing to let the words compute. “You’re saying… you think there might be a way to make me normal again?”

“Well, not completely normal, hopefully,” said Donnie quickly. “We don’t want you to turn into a regular turtle again, after all.”

“Although it would be funny,” commented Raph with a little smirk.

“We wouldn’t leave you if that happened, bro,” promised Mikey as he came to wrap an arm around Leo, dropping several cans back on the floor. “Trust me, we’ll treat you even better than Raph treats Spike! You’ll be the most loved turtle on the face of the earth, dude.”

“Right… thanks, Mikey,” Leo said slowly, then turned back to Donnie. “You really think it’s possible?”

“Well, it’s all still very theoretical, but hopefully…” Donnie bit his lip, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “Leo, I can’t promise you anything, but you can be sure I’ll do my best to try and fix this. If there’s anything that can be done, I’ll find it. If there’s a way, I’ll discover it. And then you’ll be a proper part of this family.”

Mikey sighed longingly. “And you’ll finally get a bandana with your own color. I’m thinking… yellow. Or maybe pink.”

“Ugh, can’t wait for that to happen,” said Raph roughly. “There’ll be a different leader and I won’t have to be responsible for both these knuckleheads all the time—this will all be on you from the moment you stop being a creepy ghost.”

Leo stared at them as they kept on bickering and talking, imagining a future where Leo was a constant part of the family. He would be able to talk to Splinter. April won’t doubt his existence anymore. He would have his own room and his own bandana and his own favorite food—although if he was anything like his brothers, it would be pizza, too. He would be able to touch things and practice under Splinter’s watchful eye. He would be able to break down and find comfort in someone other than himself…

The idea was so surreal after fifteen years of feeling like an outsider. He couldn’t imagine walking into a room without wondering if people saw him or not. He couldn’t imagine making a mistake, like tripping over something, and feeling embarrassed from the eyes trained on him. He couldn’t imagine talking to Splinter and April without being ignored.

“Leo?” Donnie called.

He blinked and his shoulders dropped when he noticed the three turning to look at him, their eyes staring right through him once more. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he managed to hold them back by simply thinking that maybe—just maybe—something like this won’t be possible anymore. Because Donnie would look into it and he would do his best; and Leo trusted Donnie to be able to find a solution if there was one.

“You think he left?” suggested Mikey, sounding hopeful.

Raph pursed his lips. “No, Mikey.”

Looking disappointed, Mikey lifted the cans back up and kept on silently organizing the place with the others, still sending inconspicuous looks around, as if waiting to spot Leo again. He sniffed once but didn’t cry, which Leo was glad for because he didn’t think he would have been able to take seeing Mikey weep over his disappearance—again.

Donnie for his part only set his jaw and straightened up determinedly. “You’ll see, Leo,” he said, looking in the opposite direction of where Leo was, “I’m going to do everything I can to stop this nightmare for you.”

“I know,” Leo whispered, then he slipped into the dojo to meditate with Splinter—it didn’t matter if he couldn’t be seen by the rat rather than his brothers when they couldn’t see him, either, after all.

“He’s been in there for ages,” groaned Mikey as he peered into Donnie’s lab carefully.

“It’s what he does when he’s upset,” said Raph boredly, though he looked just upset as Mikey as he looked at Donnie working in the lab, hunched over his table while muttering to himself. “Eh… maybe it’s time to drag him out of there?”

Mikey threw him a look. “Like I did when you locked yourself in the dojo and refused to stop training?” he said with a grimace. He rubbed his shoulder. “That hurt, you know. You didn’t have to throw me across the room just for trying to help.”

“It’s my coping mechanism,” shrugged his brother, though Leo could tell he felt bad about that incident from earlier that day. “Anyway, Donnie’s way less violent than me. You’ll be fine if you try to grab him and leave the lab. The worst he’ll do is yell at you to let him go. He’s a wimp.”

“You do it, then.”

“Er… I think it’s safer if you do it, actually. Since you’re, uh, the youngest. He has a soft spot for you.”

Mikey hummed and looked off into space thoughtfully. “That is true that I’m very loveable…”

“Oh, for the love of—” groaned Leo as he pushed past them and into the lab. Raph and Mikey yelped in alarm at his sudden appearance, but instead of demanding to know how long he’s been there, they followed him in. “Donnie, it’s time you took a break from your science stuff. You’ve been at it all day.”

“Leo! Perfect timing!” called Donnie. “I need a scale.”

“A-a what?”

“What in the world are you working on?” asked Raph as he looked at the flask spread all around Donnie’s desk. “Is this some kind of secret weapon to defeat Shredder the next time we see him?”

Shuddering, Mikey rubbed his head and said, “Hopefully without getting our butts kicked by him like last time… that wasn’t great. My head is still spinning sometimes, and my stomach can’t handle the same amount of food as usual.”

Levelling him with a flat glare, Donnie rolled his eyes. “Maybe it’s because you started eating only pizza lately.” He turned back to Leo excitedly. “I need you to put a scale in the petri dish so I can study it before you leave. I was wondering when you’d show up again—lucky you’re here! I think I’m on to something!”

Leo could hear Raph’s skeptical scoff behind him, but he ignored it as he obliged and plucked a single scale from the back of his hand. He put it in the petri dish Donnie showed him, then watched curiously as his brother leaned closer to the microscope to study it. The grin that slipped his face made hope flutter in Leo’s chest for the first time since he had to watch as the Shredder took down his brothers and nearly killed them all without mercy—while he was invisible, incapable of doing anything to help them.

“Yes!” exclaimed Donnie enthusiastically. “Yes, I was right!”

“What? Right about what?” asked Mikey as he shoved Raph out of the way and approached the desk, only to be stopped by Donnie immediately putting his hand up to prevent him from destroying anything he was in close proximity to. “What are you talking about, bro?”

“The cure for Leo,” explained Donnie, looking at his brothers with sparkling eyes before he beckoned Leo closer. “I checked my scales before and I can see the changes caused by the Mutagen through the microscope. When I look at your body through it, though, there’s an obvious difference because there’s Mutagen in the cells. But if I can find a way to reduce some of it, I’ll be able to change you back to normal!”

“Regular turtle ‘normal’, or talking turtle ‘normal’?” said Raph.

“He’ll be just like us, Raph,” promised Donnie. “All I need to do is find a way to reverse the Mutagen effects without draining all of it out of your system. And even though it might take time, at least it’s possible!” He turned to face Leo with a beaming grin on his face. “Isn’t that great?”

“I…” stuttered Leo, eyes wide open. “You can actually do it?”

Donnie tapped his chin. “Well, it might take a while. I’m not sure what’s going to make it work properly yet, but I know it’s not impossible. It can actually be done, yes.”

He couldn’t stop himself—he just launched himself forward, wrapping his arms around Donnie and burying his head in his shoulder to hide the tears that were threatening to spill down his face. He knew Donnie’s been trying to come up with an idea on how to fix Leo, but to hear that it was actually possible—to hear that Donnie was one step closer to making this wish come true—was a whole other thing.

“Thank you,” he murmured quietly. “Thank you so much, Donnie.”

And later on, right before he allowed Raph and Mikey to drag Donnie out of the lab, he looked at the cells through the microscope, noticing the difference between the spiky ones of Donatello and the even sharper ones that belonged to him. And seeing it with his own two eyes—knowing there was a reason with proof for his state of being—made him feel better already, because at least it wasn’t a pipe dream anymore.

Leo glared after Bradford’s mutated form, fists shaking with anger. He hated just standing there while being unable to do anything to help his brothers fight the guy, especially now that they were all freaked out because of their fight against Shredder that had gone… very badly.

It was almost painful to watch their fight against him just now. He knew his brothers could handle themselves fairly well with all their training, yet for some reason they acted like they didn’t know how to fight the guy at all just now, their motions being stiff and anxious, their reactions jerky and scared. Mikey was practically shaking on his feet the entire fight.

“He’s gone, it’s safe,” he said, trying not to growl angrily.

Poking their heads out of the trash can, his three brothers scanned the alley quickly, then heaved a sigh of relief and hopped out, getting rid of the pieces of junk that stuck to them. Raph looked angrier than usual, his hands clenched around the hilts of his sai; Donnie’s shoulders were slumped as he shuffled his feet a little, his staff strapped to his back; Mikey was still shaking, glancing all around warily, as if expecting Bradford to return and attack them again.

“Aw, man,” said Mikey, “that went terrible!”

“Yes, what just happened? We’re not that bad, are we?” said Raph furiously. “Bradford just pounded us to the ground like it was nothing!”

Donnie shivered. “We’re lucky we managed to get away from him in the end there.” He rounded on the other two. “How did you manage to mess up with two eggs? Seriously, did you forget we don’t have an endless supply of those just lying around? It takes forever to make them properly without messing it up, and I don’t see any of you doing it with me!”

“Oh, so it’s our fault now, is it?” said Raph.

“Guys,” Leo tried to speak, but they ignored him.

“Yes! You’re supposed to lead us, and you were barely doing anything! And I bet you can’t even admit that you were scared!”

“I wasn’t scared!”

“Sure you weren’t, Raph.”

“Dude, you were totally scared.”

Leo stepped between Donnie and Raph. “Guys, shut up!”

Their mouths clumped shut as they focused on him. Donnie still looked like he was ready to fight with Raph on this, while the other turtle was both glancing at Leo and looking away, as if worried he might see something he doesn’t like written on his face. Mikey just looked between all of them, shaking a little less now that he was sure there was no danger nearby.

“Look, it’s okay to be scared, all right? Shredder nearly killed all of you. It makes sense you’d be freaked out over this,” Leo said, trying to keep his voice level and calm in the hopes that they would follow suit. “But you shouldn’t let this fear mess up with you this much. You were a wreck just now. Maybe staying in the lair until now kept on alive, but I think it messed you up. You’re not a bunch of kids who don’t know how to fight. You’ve fought Bradford before and you won.”

“Splinter told us we weren’t ready,” said Mikey in a subdued tone of voice that didn’t suit him at all. “He’s usually right, so maybe this time he was right, too. We can’t handle all of this.”

Raph nodded stiffly.

“No, he’s wrong,” said Leo.

“Leo…” Donnie tried.

“No, Donnie, he was wrong. So maybe you still can’t face off the Shredder, but you can’t believe everything else is too much for you. You’ve won other battles since you first left the sewers, and it’s got to count for something! You could’ve handled this fight way better, but you were scared, and Splinter didn’t help you with this fear because… I think he’s scared, too.”

Mikey made a motion of explosion with his hand, looking amazed. “Splinter? Scared?”

Snorting, Raph dismissively said, “No way. I never once saw Splinter scared. He’s just trying to prepare us because he knows we’re not ready for all of this.”

“He’s scared of losing you guys,” insisted Leo.

Donnie’s shoulders tensed. “Oh.”

“Why would he—”

“Because you nearly got destroyed by the Shredder and he didn’t even know about it,” said Leo. “He had no idea you were even facing Shredder while he was in the lair. When you came back, he looked shocked. He couldn’t even believe you were actually alive after a confrontation with him. So it makes sense he’s beyond terrified of you running off and encountering Shredder again when you still can’t handle a fight against him without getting your butts handed to you.

“That’s why he didn’t let you leave the lair. That’s why he wanted you to train so much more than before. It’s terrifying to know the people you love are in danger without you even being able to do anything to help them.”

His voice broke at the last few words and he fell silent, blinking furiously at the feeling of his eyes burning all of a sudden under the intense and sympathetic gazes he was receiving from his little brothers.

Raph and Mikey exchanged a look. Donnie frowned.

“Leo…” said the purple-banded turtle, “are you okay?”

Nodding, Leo went to say yes, but then he changed his mind and shook his head from side to side, shutting his eyes tightly to block out the looks the three were sending him. He could picture it again—the sight of his brothers getting pounded by the masked ninja that their father had warned them all about, crying out their names in the hopes of being heard… to no avail.

“I just… I watched that entire fight from the side and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t do anything to help you. All I could do was stare as he slammed you into the concrete and punched and kicked you. I thought you would die up there, and I wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone about it, because even Splinter can’t see me. I was just… I was so…”

He hated feeling like this. And he hated the fact that he felt like he shouldn’t feel this way in the first place even more. Because how could he possibly pity himself when his brothers were the ones who got brutally beat up by the Shredder? He wasn’t the one suffering through this torture but the three of them. Yet he felt like he was still pitying himself, his inability to assist them no matter what.

A punch to his arm made Leo yelp in surprise and open his eyes to find Raph standing in front of him, right in his face, glaring at him with the sort of look he often gave people when he didn’t want to admit he was feeling something other than anger. Or maybe when he was angry because he was feeling something.

“Snap out of it before you turn into Splinter 2.0,” he growled. “Maybe you do have a point there, all right? We were off our game because we were, um, slightly on edge ever since that fight against Shredder—”

“You mean the way he nearly cracked open our shells,” noted Mikey unhelpfully.

“Shut up, Mikey. We’re going to get over it. And we’re going to show Master Splinter we can protect ourselves just fine without holding ourselves back down in the lair for all eternity whether he likes it or not. But don’t go moping about not being helpful, you moron.” He poked Leo’s plastron with a finger. “You’re going to regret ever wishing you were visible to others the moment you face the Shredder by our side, too.”

Donnie hummed. “Maybe then we’ll have better commands from our leader than ‘attack him with everything you’ve got’, too,” he said dryly, earning a narrow-eyed look from Raph. “Just saying, Leo’s plans are a bit more sophisticated than charging in with our weapons, hoping for a smooth victory.”

“Oh, you think it’s so easy to be the leader, don’t you?” snapped Raph, turning away from Leo and back to Donnie.

“I never said—”

“Bros, you’re scaring the cat,” said Mikey, pointing to a hissing, orange kitten that was balancing on the fire alarm. “Can we just go back home? We need to tell Sensei how it went at some point, right?”

“Wow, Mikey’s making sense,” Raph drawled out. “The end of the world must be coming.”

Sticking his tongue out at him, Mikey blew a raspberry, then went over to the nearest manhole. Once it was open, he jumped in, soon followed by Donnie. Leo watched as Raph went to climb down as well, but in the last moment he turned to look at Leo, his green eyes piercing into his soul, as if looking for something.

“Look, I’m sorry. I know it must have been terrible to watch that fight from the sidelines, okay? I would’ve lost it if I were you.”

With a small smile, Leo shrugged. “Yeah, I know, Raph.” And he jumped into the sewers, Raph following him a moment later.

They were all there, in Donnie’s lab—Raph, Mikey, Splinter and even April. Leo watched from his perch, standing against one of the walls, completely invisible. Donnie squinted down at the flask with the slightly sparkly liquid inside, adding drops of different materials inside.

Watching attentively, they all leaned closer to inspect what was happening, even though they had no idea what the logic behind the entire thing even was. Leo knew that even Splinter—as wise as he was—had no idea what Donnie was doing because they just had different kind of wisdom.

Raph scowled. “How long is this going to take?” he demanded. “I thought you said it was done already.”

“Nearly there…” muttered Donnie as he cautiously poured a silver liquid into the flask. Wiping his forehead with the back of his head, he said, “All right, this should do it, guys. If I’m right, this is going to de-mutate the cells in Leo’s body just enough…”

April and Splinter exchanged a look—the only ones who were the most skeptical about Leo—but didn’t say a word. Mikey leaned forward excitedly, bouncing on his tiptoes while clapping his hands together like a little child. Next to him, Raph’s eye twitched, but it was unclear whether it was caused by Mikey’s behavior or the anticipation he was feeling.

Leo, on his part, just stared at the flask and Donnie’s face, shifting a little uneasily yet trying not to get his hopes up—just in case.

Carefully pouring a little bit of the new substance into the petri dish with some of Leo’s scales in it, Donnie waited a moment, then put it under the microscope and held his breath. For a moment everything was silent, and then they exhaled in disappointment when Donnie let out a discontented sigh.

“Shoot,” he moaned. “I really thought I had it this time.”

“Don’t worry, D,” said Leo, “you’ll get it eventually.”

No one heard him.

Master Splinter hung his head a little. “You tried your best, my son, and I’m sure Leonardo appreciates that in itself, even if this try didn’t go according to plan. I have full faith in you.”

Leo nodded in agreement, though he could tell Donnie was still feeling down as he stared at the flask and the petri dish disappointedly. And of course he was disappointed—he’s been working on this cure for a while now, locking himself in the lab for far too long, constantly trying to come up with new ways to help Leo; and now that he finally thought it was truly going to work…

It still failed.

“Maybe it’s still missing something,” said Raph. “More Mutagen?”

“I used everything we had,” said Donnie. “Maybe I need—”

Suddenly there was a flash of orange as Mikey jumped forward. April yelped momentarily, making them all turn to look at her, which meant that Donnie couldn’t react in time to prevent Mikey from dropping something into the flask with the liquid.

“Mikey!” screeched Donnie. “What do you think you’re doing!”

“Ooh, look,” said Mikey, ignoring the glares he was receiving, “it’s turning orange!”

Turning back to the flask, Donnie’s eyes widened. “What did you put in there?” he demanded.

April rubbed her head with a grimace. “My hair,” she said in annoyance.

“Why would you—” started Raph, then he shook his head determinedly from side to side. “No, never mind. I don’t want to know.”

“Try it now, Donnie!” said Mikey.

“There’s no reason for it to work now!” he snapped, but he still gave the flask a considering look, pursing his lips at the sight of its different color. “I wonder what it did do, though.”

Leo rolled his eyes, both fond and exasperated to see Donnie actually pouring some of the new substance into another petri dish with Leo’s scales—seriously, he was forced to give him more than enough samples to work with, which would have been better had he not had to shed his own scales for it.

Mikey leaned on the edge of the table. “Well?” he urged Donnie.

Looking into the microscope, Donnie closed one of his eyes and concentrated for a moment before he gasped. He pulled away, blinking at the open air before him, then leaned back down to look at the results he was seeing—whatever they were. Leo pushed himself slightly off the wall, his body tensing at the thought of something going catastrophically wrong because of this experiment.

“Mikey,” said Donnie slowly as he turned away from the petri dish and toward his brother, “you’re a genius!”

“WHAT?” everyone demanded.

On the other hand, Mikey just crossed his arms and smiled knowingly. “I know, dude. It’s a true gift.”

“No, wait,” Raph pushed him out of the way, making Mikey yelp before he hit the floor, “hold on a second. Donnie, since when is Mikey a genius?”

“Since I was born, bro,” said Mikey as he pulled himself back up.

Donnie waved his hand around dismissively. “Look, I don’t know what’s in April’s hair, but it worked! Look!” He thrust the petri dish in their faces, looking excited and surprised as he seemed to wait for them to get it and react the same way.

Leo could tell they were just as confused as he was, staring at the scales in the petri dish with confused expressions that let him know they weren’t sure what they were looking for as they stared at the scales.

“Have you gone mad?” said Raph. “All we see is scales. There’s nothing special about—”

“That’s just it! We can see the scales but we can’t see Leo!” Donnie cut him off, watching as realization dawned on all of them. April and Splinter actually turned to look at the petri dish with renewed interest. “I couldn’t see the scales until now because, well, I can’t see Leo right now. But if we can see them, it means it worked! And there’s still Mutagen there, I saw it, so it didn’t turn back to normal turtle scales. Mikey’s idea actually worked! We just created a successful Retro-Mutagen for Leo!”

April blinked furiously at the visible scales. “He’s… real,” she said, sounding stunned.

There was an unreadable expression on Splinter’s face as he looked at the same scales for a few moments longer, then his lips pulled up in a smile as he bowed his head once before turning to look approvingly at Donnie, who was practically glowing happily, holding the flask and the petri dish in his hands.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” said Raph. “Pour it on him and let’s get it over with!”

“Well, I-I can’t just pour it anywhere,” reasoned Donnie. “I’m almost certain Leo’s in the room right now, but since I can’t be sure… I can’t just let the Retro-Mutagen go to waste. It will take me a long time to make another batch, guys. We need to be certain he will be there to absorb it, and without seeing him—”

Stepping closer, April said, “What if you pour it over a bucket or something? Then you’ll still have it if Leo isn’t here.”

Leo watched as they quickly set something up, feeling strangely numb as his heart beat erratically in his chest, disbelief, anticipation and trepidation coursing through his veins as he turned to stare at the flask that held the solution to his problem. This thing would turn him back to normal—so to speak. This would make him like his brothers, visible to everyone, capable of interacting with more than only three people.

He would be real, have a life, be heard, be seen; he would have the dad he’s been missing on all these years; he would get a room to stay in and a bed to sleep in during the day; he would be able to eat food and finally taste pizza and find out what all the fuss was about; he would be able to prank his brothers and laugh with them and fight over the remote control with them…

“Okay,” Donnie said after a while, carefully holding the flask in his hand over the bucket Splinter brought. Looking around, he said uncertainly, “Leo, I’m going to pour this in five seconds, so if you can hear me, you’d better be here when it happens. Mikey won’t be able to wait for you much longer.”

“That’s true,” the youngest agreed immediately.

Raph elbowed him. “Just go on with this already,” he said, his voice rougher than usual.

“Okay, okay,” muttered Leo to himself as he quickly inserted himself in front of Donnie, his head resting right underneath the flask he was holding. “This is happening. This is really, actually happening. And it’s going to work, because if Donnie says it’s going to work, then it’s going to work.” He blinked. “Maybe I should stop talking to myself…”

“Okay,” said Donnie, his hand shaking as little. “Five, four, three, two, one—”

He tipped his hand and the liquid in the flask poured down over Leo’s head. And oh, God, it burned. Leo hissed when the Retro-Mutagen made contact with his skin, instantly working to change his body. He didn’t remember this hurting this much, but… well, he didn’t really remember the day he and his brothers became mutants all that well, anyway, so it wasn’t saying much.

Still, he held himself back from actually yelping or shouting in pain, instead leaning down with his hands on his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. He felt like his body was trying to rewire itself, his DNA shifting, altering, changing to fit a new genetic code. His stomach clenched as he held himself back from throwing up and instead breathed in and out deeply, closing his eyes to try and shut the pain out.

And then the pain receded at long last and he stumbled to his knees, disoriented and definitely in more pain than he was used to.

Around him, he heard gasps. Someone squealed. Another one huffed in disbelief. A hand landed on his shoulder—more solid than anything else he remembered feeling. It wasn’t warm, but it was definitely real and sturdy; much better than being touched by someone who could barely even see you.

Opening his eyes, he blinked up several times to try and focus on his surroundings again. As his vision came back into focus, he found himself staring up into the familiar brown eyes of Donnie. They were crinkled happily, a few tears slipping through them despite the amazed and excited smile on his face.

“Leo? Leo, how are you feeling?” he said.

Leo blinked at him some more.

“Whoa…” murmured April.

Turning around to face her, Leo saw her eyes trained straight on him for the first time in his life. She stared at him, clearly unsure as to what she was supposed to do or say now that she was seeing him for the first time. And then she smiled at him unsurely, genuine relief gleaming in her blue eyes.

“H-hi,” she said.

He opened his mouth, no sound coming out. His breath caught in his throat at the understanding that for the first time in forever he was the center of attention—and not only of his brothers. No, Splinter and April were looking at him, acknowledging his existence without a hint of skepticism—because he was really there. He wasn’t a ghost or someone they couldn’t see and had to believe existed by believing someone else. Now they could actually see him.

His eyes fell on Splinter, who looked back at him with red, misty eyes. And yes, it must have been a sort of miracle to the old sensei, seeing as the family he’d once had was lost forever, whereas Leo, whom he’d thought was gone as well, just came back to his life without a shadow of a doubt.

“Leo,” said Donnie again, drawing his attention back to him, “tell me how you’re feeling.”

“I… I feel fine,” he said. It wasn’t quite true—there was still a lingering ache in his body, but he welcomed it for now. Pain was something he wasn’t used to, and he loved knowing he could feel it now. “Donnie, you’re incredible! You did it!”

His brother grinned bashfully and rubbed the back of his neck before his breath got knocked out when Leo got up and crushed him in a hug so tight he was sure his brother would have complained had he been able to breathe. But for a moment Leo didn’t care because he could feel Donnie so much more than he did before. It was no longer the sort of ghostly touch he was used to, but real and comforting and so much better than what he was used to.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” he muttered repeatedly, tears springing to his eyes.

“Hey, what about me?” said Mikey indignantly. “I was the one who made the potion work!”

“It’s not a potion, Mikey, it’s—”

Leo ignored Donnie and laughed when Mikey shoved the purple-banded turtle out of the way in order to hug Leo instead. He vibrated so much, it was almost impossible to hold on to him, but Leo couldn’t care less. He just basked in the feeling of holding his little brother properly again.

“Thanks, Mikey,” he said, slightly amused.

The only response he got was a little chirp from Mikey. Then he realized the turtle was crying, too, and he tightened his hold on him, too, muttering quietly to try and calm him down, telling him everything was okay and that they were going to be all right. Mikey just burrowed impossibly closer and refused to let go, which Leo didn’t have a problem with for now.

His gaze drifted toward Raph. “Happy to see me?” he said teasingly.

His brother scoffed. “In your dreams,” he said brashly, arms crossed over his chest. Then his scowl softened a tad and he punched Leo in the arm before unfolding his fist to reveal a blue bandana resting there. “Figured you’d like the color since it’s your favorite or whatever.”

“Wow, Raph, it’s almost like you care,” said Donnie as he shoved Mikey aside just enough to crawl back into Leo’s embrace, so now he was hugging two of his brothers. “Next thing we know you might actually tell us that you love us.”

“With words,” mumbled Mikey, “rather than actions.”

Raph snorted but his lack of an answer was enough to bring smiles to their faces. Leo nodded at him silently, wiping his tears away and momentarily letting go of Donnie and Mikey in favor of grabbing the blue fabric and carefully tying it around his head and over his eyes. His fingers fumbled a bit, but soon enough he felt the fabric resting against his face, like a comforting weight that let him know where he belonged.

“Thanks, Raph,” he croaked, meeting the green eyes of his brother, who was staring at Donnie and Mikey rather than Leo. “I love you, too.”

His face scrunched up, as if to say he thought it was too sentimental for his taste, but after a moment’s hesitation, Raph barreled forward and hugged Leo, too, squashing the other two in between and ignoring their squeaked protests. He let go a few seconds later and Leo pretended not to notice the way he subtly wiped his hand over his eyes.

“You’re here to stay this time, right?” said Mikey once he and Donnie finally pulled away. “You’re not leaving again, are you?”

“Yes, Mikey, I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

Someone cleared his throat behind Leo and he spun around, eyes falling on Master Splinter. The rat was standing tall, towering over him as usual, but his eyes were trained solely on Leo for a change, taking him in with the sort of loving look he usually sent toward Raph, Donnie and Mikey. It made Leo’s insides melt, knowing he was now receiving the same sort of look because he was back to being a part of this family—for real.

Bowing his head a tad, he said, “Hi, Dad.”

“Leonardo,” said Splinter, and Leo noticed that his voice broke a little at the name. “I am happy to see you again, my son. And I hope you can forgive me for doubting your existence for such a long time.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” he said quickly. “I mean, it sounded insane. April didn’t believe it, either. It’s the kind of thing you need solid proof to believe in.”

Off to the side, he could see April flinching a little guiltily, though he hurried to send her a smile to try and let her know there were no hard feelings. Then he faced Splinter again, seeing the guilt in his own eyes shining down at Leo, although he didn’t apologize again, probably figuring this wasn’t the time.

Instead, he took a step closer, and Leo didn’t hesitate to hug him, too, although he was mostly just enjoying being hugged by someone else for a change. It was something he’s been longing to feel for so long. Watching his brothers get this from their dad always made him want to have the same, as well, and now he finally got it—a warm, loving hug from Splinter, his father, the one who’d taught him so much even without knowing he was there, listening to his lessons and observing his behavior.

“Words cannot express how glad I am to see you alive and well,” said Splinter, his eyes roving over Leo from above, still taking him in, drinking in the sight of his fourth son standing between his arms. “And I thank you for looking over your brothers all this time.”

Leo stepped back and sent a fond look over his shoulder. Donnie was still grinning brightly at him, clearly happy to both see Leo and know that he managed to fix the situation in the end; Raph was still standing cross-armed and frowny, though when Leo caught his eye, the turtle offered him a resigned smile that was full of relief; Next to them, Mikey sniffed a little and kept on bouncing up and down, giving Leo a look that let him know he wasn’t done hugging him just yet. He actually looked like he was planning on never letting Leo out of his sight, which would be a problem for later—right now, he couldn’t care less.

“Well, I couldn’t leave them hanging with only this hothead to turn to,” said Leo.

Raph cried, “Hey!” but didn’t sound all that offended.

Shoving him aside, Mikey excitedly called, “You know how we can celebrate this? Guys! Guys, we have to order pizza!”

“I should really run more tests to make sure—” started Donnie uncertainly.

“Pizza!” demanded Mikey as he turned to shake Donnie by the arms. “D, our brother has never before tasted pizza! It’s a crime against humanity! We must balance the word. I’m gonna make the order right now!” he declared and pulled out his T-phone while avoiding Raph’s fist.

“No, but—” Donnie tried again, but Mikey was already speaking to someone over the phone while running away from Raph, so he sagged a little and shrugged. “Well, I suppose it can’t hurt to wait with the tests for later…” He gave Leo a look. “I just want to make sure you’re stable and that it’s not going to return or anything. The last thing we need is for you to vanish into thin air again.”

Raph stopped chasing Mikey for a moment, long enough to say, “Yeah, you had better not pull anything like that, Leo, or I swear I’m gonna beat the crap out of you the next time you show up.”

Leo just laughed, looking at everyone in the room with him and basking in the feeling of knowing he was no longer being overlooked. For once his brothers weren’t as terrified of him disappearing, Splinter had his hand on Leo’s shoulder, like a promise that he was right there and very much aware of him, and April was smiling at the chaos as if it was the most normal thing in the world, occasionally sending Leo looks, her eyes taking him in as if to burn his image into her brain.

Finally—finally—he felt perfectly, wholly and utterly real.