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Gustavo dreams of a frozen lake.
It’s not a particularly interesting dream to Gustavo. He spends most of it staring down a fishing hole that seems to stretch endlessly beneath the icy lake’s surface. Gustavo is fixated on it, though—eventually, the fish must manifest. Yet he spends the entire dream staring at an expanse that’s not even expansive. Just fruitless.
Eventually, finally, the fishing line finally twitches, and Gustavo perks up, thrilled, and takes action. He reels in the fish, and it’s a massive one. His dream self is thrilled—stunned at the find, gleeful at the catch, thankful that he kept at it.
But his celebration is cut short at the sound of crackling ice beneath himself.
Gustavo’s eyes shoot open as the water engulfs him whole.
---
His eyes meet the window of Peppino’s apartment, blinds uneven and half open. A streetlight from the world outside is the only source of illumination in the room. The image of the light mimics that of his dreams, the surface of the water capturing the sunlight while Gustavo sinks deeper and deeper.
The room is of a similar temperature to that of the frigid water. Peppino mentioned offhandedly that his heating unit was having serious issues, but knowing Peppino, he was definitely not going to call someone to fix it until it was absolutely, positively necessary. The pizzeria still wasn’t in the greatest place… but they were still above the surface.
He’s twisted away from the center of the bed—away from the figure he knows to be taking up the other half. Gustavo aimlessly reaches out into the area he knows his nightstand is situated in somewhere. Eventually, his hand meets wood, and then his phone’s characteristic rectangular shape.
It illuminates at the lowest brightness possible, displaying an image of Peppino sleeping in the leather recliner that Gustavo convinced him to splurge on, nestled into the corner of the apartment. Brick lays on top of him, and Peppino sleeps, unaware of the weight on his stomach. Gustavo has an array of images following the peaceful snapshot he managed to steal for himself, which are not reflective of this domestic moment.
The time.
Gustavo’s eyes pry themselves away from the treasured photo and glimpse at the digital clock on his screen.
2:37.
It’s not even close to daytime.
The bed is warmer in contrast to the room at large, Gustavo notes, since the hand that’s reached out to tap the phone is shivering with alarming intensity, and the prickle on Gustavo’s skin feels uncomfortable. He retreats underneath the blankets, though the puffs of Gustavo’s breaths still feel tangible. He needs to convince Peppino that yes, this is now the necessary time to fix the heating unit, and no, he cannot get out of it. Although, maybe there’s a portable heater buried in Peppino’s pizzeria. But he’s got no desire to leave the bed, let alone exit the apartment. Too cold for that.
The winter months have messed with his sleeping schedule. After the time change, Gustavo has had earlier starts and earlier turn-ins at night, to the point where working in the pizzeria past five felt like an overnight shift. Gustavo finds himself losing track of time easier and easier, without the sun to guide him through his usual daily life cycle.
Oh dear, was he just getting old? Or could he afford to continue to blame the nature of the world?
Or maybe it wasn’t either of those things, maybe Gustavo just wanted to get home earlier and never leave because he has someone to return to, without fail.
This arrangement with the apartment isn’t necessarily “new,” but it’s quickly become the standard. Gustavo’s complex wasn’t exactly thrilled about accommodating a rat that could find its way into any wall he pleased, but Peppino rented from a place that couldn’t care less about the presence of a pet like Brick, so long as Peppino could make rent each month.
Peppino initially seemed hesitant to house his partner and his gigantic rat in a space he built for only his occupancy, but the three of them have adjusted well to the circumstances.
Peppino’s apartment was bigger than Gustavo’s. Peppino had rented here since he first opened the pizzeria if Gustavo understood correctly. It contained a kitchen, a lounge space, and a decent-sized bedroom that could accommodate both men. The bathroom was the only thing that Gustavo had struggled to maneuver in, with limited space on the sink to organize his hygiene supplies.
Gustavo initially took the couch in the lounge, especially when Peppino was still adjusting to the routine of having Gustavo around most of his waking moments of the day.
It didn’t take long for another body to end up in the sheets, though. And Gustavo knew Brick was waiting for a chance to whittle Peppino’s pride down enough to secure a place on the bed for herself, too.
But, for now, it’s just the two of them in the bed.
He twists toward the center of the bed and comes face to face with Peppino’s sleeping figure. His eyebrows are lowered, eyes closed, and breathing steady. He’s snuggled under the blankets carefully, a tent of warmth allowing him shelter from the cold.
Gustavo doesn’t hesitate to let himself into the sanctuary.
Gustavo watches Peppino, ensuring that he is in a deep slumber before carefully pulling himself closer toward the sleeping man. Gustavo wraps a pair of arms around Peppino, easily pressing the entire sum of his body against his partner’s.
Peppino hums in his sleep when Gustavo’s hands press against his back, pulling him into a hold that unites them. Contentment is felt in Peppino’s sleepy sighs. Gustavo leans in closer, holding Peppino between his arms, and letting the warmth of the larger man’s body bleed into his own.
Gustavo feels nothing but the all-consuming warmth, and nuzzles against the crook of Peppino’s neck, completely dissolving the frigid air surrounding the room.
Maybe Peppino doesn’t need to replace the heater, after all.
And Gustavo falls into sleep again, returning to dreams that can’t hope to match this intimate moment.
~~~
Gustavo dreams of the icy lake once more.
He feels his body being dragged down by the water, the sunlight’s shining gleam dimming by the second. Being thrust back into the scene doesn’t allow Gustavo much of a reaction, but he tries to propel himself upward as best he can.
He doesn’t make it, and Gustavo’s heart sinks as he watches the last of his breath dissipate in the form of bubbles above his person.
The last thing he sees is a figure swimming toward him, obscuring the sun in such a way that it begins to reflect off of them, like a divine entity, or the sun.
Gustavo feels himself try to reach out toward them, but only feels their touch as he is ripped away from the dream once again.
---
There’s a shift from Peppino’s side of the bed, and a larger arm carefully finds its way around the whole of Gustavo’s body, pulling him even closer.
Gustavo cracks his eyes open and is surprised to meet Peppino’s drowsy gaze. His eyes are half open, but there’s a small smile etched onto his lips.
“Peppino…” Gustavo whispers, barely audible. But Peppino’s smile deepens, tilting his head downward in an attempt to hide his blush. It’s a pointless endeavor, considering the space between them hardly exists. Peppino, seemingly aware of this, looks up again, smiling a little brighter.
The shorter man’s eyes blink, hoping to will away the sleepiness that consumes him. He wants to keep staring into Peppino’s eyes for as long as the world will permit him to.
But in Gustavo’s adjustment to the world of the awakened, he notices Peppino’s eyes are watery. There are tears in them, little things that threaten Peppino’s contentment.
Gustavo’s expression transforms into concern, and he cups Peppino’s cheek, where his tears have started to emerge. Gustavo catches a tear and gently wipes it away.
Peppino, instead of retreating, leans into Gustavo’s touch, tears accumulating on Gustavo’s palm. Peppino continues to stare at Gustavo during all of it, which makes Gustavo even more concerned.
“What’s wrong, Pep…?”
Peppino’s reaction is delayed. He blinks once, processing the question. But then, the gears turn, and Peppino moves away from Gustavo, sitting up in the bed and looking down at his palms. Tears keep trickling out of his eyes, and Peppino furiously wipes at them for a moment.
“Shit—I’m sorry, Gus, I don’t know what came over me, I—” Peppino starts wiping his eyes to keep the tears from emerging. It fails, and Peppino’s eyes gain a red puffiness to them, and quiet sniffles also begin to emerge from the larger man.
He doesn’t seem upset, just… frustrated. Peppino curses under his breath as he tries to stifle his sniffling.
“I’m here.” Gustavo rises from his position on the bed as well, shivering as the cold room seeps into his skin. But half of his body is pressed against Peppino, and one of his hands finds Peppino’s to help offset the cool air even more.
Peppino’s tears continue to roll out for a while. Gustavo reaches over to his bedside table to grab some tissues for his partner. Peppino unflatteringly blows his nose, but Gustavo still refuses to remove himself from Peppino’s side.
“I ruined the moment, Gustavo…” Peppino says eventually. “I-I don’t know what happened, I just…”
“It’s alright, Peppino.” Gustavo smiles, giving Peppino’s hand a squeeze. “We’re okay, now.”
Peppino stares at Gustavo’s figure in the night and smiles awkwardly.
“Geez, why does the cold make me a sniveling mess?” Peppino murmurs. “It’s… freezing in here, actually…” Peppino shivers a little. Gustavo leans in closer to maybe help with Peppino’s sudden adjustment to the freezing room.
“...the heater gave out, I think.” Gustavo supplies helpfully.
“Damn it,” Peppino swears, raising a hand to his forehead. “Another thing to worry about, I guess.”
“But… I don’t think crying like that is a normal reaction to the cold, Pino.” Gustavo quietly interrupts, not wanting Peppino to drop the subject so easily.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Peppino stares at Gustavo, and nods.
“I-I’m fine, really!” Peppino waves his hands before his face to accent his certainty.
“You sure?” Gustavo takes Peppino’s hand in his own and wraps an arm around his back.
“Y-Yeah…” Peppino affirms. He squeezes Gustavo’s hand.
“Do you think it was a nightmare?” Gustavo suggests.
“I don’t think so.” Peppino thinks. “I don’t think I was having one.”
Gustavo nods. He expected this answer. Peppino’s night terrors usually happen while he is asleep, and Gustavo has to coax him awake and steady his breathing. That’s not how it happened, this time— Peppino’s tears only started after he awakened. Gustavo tries not to frown, but the uncertainty of it all places a seed of doubt in his mind that he wants to tear out.
“But I think…” Peppino interrupts suddenly, looking up at the ceiling. “I think I was dreaming.”
“What about?”
Peppino’s hand grips against Gustavo’s, lowering his face to stare at the shorter man for a moment. He blinks. Opens his mouth, as if to elaborate. Then it slams shut, and he only gives an embarrassed laugh as a response, glancing away.
“I-It was just nice, that’s all—”
“Now you’ve got me curious.”
Peppino twists toward Gustavo, a grin etching his features. He moves with sudden determination as he leans toward Gustavo’s ear, and whispers.
“Everything I could dream of… is right in front of me.” Peppino’s voice breaks into a laugh as he says it. There’s also a nervousness there; like he’s afraid of his flirty line not landing.
“That’s so cheesy, Peppino!” Gustavo laughs, a blush tracing his cheeks with an intensity that the cold room couldn’t hope to cause.
Peppino chuckles in response, leaning toward Gustavo to place a kiss on his cheek, further cementing the scarlet on his partner’s cheek.
Before Peppino can even retreat to catch Gustavo’s reaction, he’s already being peppered with light kisses across his face. Peppino laughs, the playful aggression somehow surprising and warm.
“Gustavo, stop...” Peppino laughs, arms reaching out to bring Gustavo even closer to himself.
“Never.” Gustavo smiles, giving Peppino another kiss on the forehead in defiance.
Peppino feels the blush erupt across his face, and finds himself unable to stifle his grin.
Eventually, the two men find their way back under the covers, returning to their held positions between each other's arms. They’re buried in the covers, intertwined limbs that make it hard to see them as anything other than one entity.
There’s a silence as sleep threatens to take them. Gustavo doesn’t even want to glance at the clock, to see how little time they have before the day starts properly.
He just wants to remain here, in this moment, body pressed against Peppino, the light breathing of his boyfriend whistling in the night. That’s all Gustavo could ever want.
“Gus…”
Peppino waits until Gustavo’s head is raised, and speaks his mind.
“...I think this is the happiest I have ever been,” Peppino says.
Gustavo smiles, Peppino’s intense stare melting him to the core.
“...Me too, Pino.” Gustavo whispers.
Peppino’s lip quivers. He inhales, but a smile is etching his features. It’s giddy. And Gustavo hopes that his smile is showing that, too.
“Y-You know why…?”
Gustavo doesn’t respond but keeps his eyes locked on Peppino’s.
“It’s you, Gustavo— you make me feel so… happy. ” Peppino eventually blurts.
Gustavo is at a loss for words, even though he has so many to share. He runs with the thought that presses against his soul, longing to share it with Peppino so he can understand just how much Gustavo loved him.
“Peppino… being able to be at your side is everything I have ever wanted.”
Peppino, who was anxiously waiting for Gustavo’s response to his admission, suddenly stills.
“I want to wake up next to you every morning.” Gustavo continues, “And I plan to, if you’ll have me.”
Peppino stares for a moment.
And then he sniffs, eyes manifesting tears once more.
“Oh, Pino…” Gustavo smiles, eyes crinkling, tears starting to prick at the edge of his eyes— but he beckons Peppino to move closer so Peppino can bury himself in Gustavo’s neck. He does, and Gustavo gives Peppino a hug that will actualize Gustavo’s endless love for the man.
“I… never thought I’d have anything like this, Gustavo. With anyone, let alone you…” Peppino says as he raises his head from Gustavo’s shoulder. “I’ve always seen myself as a failure, you know that, but…”
“You’re the furthest thing from that, Peppino…” Gustavo whispers, holding Peppino tightly. “You are so hardworking, and passionate…” Gustavo smiles. “You are worth so much more than you realize.”
Peppino’s blush is deepening, his eyes spewing tears, still, and he’s stammering as he tries to collect himself…
“I-It’s hard to believe that, you know? B-But, when I wake up next to you, I think… I worked hard for this life, and it’s really good. And I won’t take that f-for granted. It’s just… hard, to think that… I deserve this. This… happiness. The love I feel for myself, and everything I have now…”
Peppino grips Gustavo’s hand a little tighter.
“Waking up next to you is something I want to do for the rest of my life, too! That’s all I wanted to say!” Peppino urges. “Whether it’s in this apartment, or a better one, or maybe even a home— that’s what I want if you’ll indulge me, Gustavo, because you make every morning so much more bearable.”
Peppino takes a deep breath, jaw slamming shut.
“Sorry, Gus, I know that’s so much to put on you—”
“N-No! Peppino, it’s not.” Gustavo urges, hand reaching up to cup his boyfriend’s cheek. “It’s not. I want that too! I love what we have, too! I’m content to remain by your side, but you opened your door for me, too, Pep, and… I couldn’t ask for much more.”
“Does this mean you’ll let the broken heater slide…?”
“Absolutely not. We’ll end up sick, Pino.”
“It was worth a shot…” Peppino chuckles, still turned toward Gustavo in the bed. As Gustavo reaches out toward Peppino and feels the slow emergence of warmth in his soul, he falls back into his dreams with the image of Peppino’s smile in his mind.
~~~
Gustavo emerges from the icy water in his dream, coughing, sputtering, and with a pair of arms wrapped around his chest.
He’s unceremoniously dragged out of the hole he created with arms that are strong enough to carry him to solid ground. He’s slid onto his back where he can finally see the sun clearly, again. Even as he is separated from the water, he feels drenched— a deep coldness settling over his body, and the thickness of the layered clothing does nothing to ease the enduring chill that covers Gustavo’s entire body.
“Gustavo…! Gustavo!”
The voice of an anxious Peppino brings Gustavo back to reality. He registers Peppino staring down at him, sunlight sparkling against his wet skin. He’s wearing a blue parka, and freaking out at the sight of Gustavo. There’s a hand on his back, holding Gustavo up from the snowy ground he’s been brought to.
“Are you okay, Gus?!” Peppino’s voice doesn’t waver at the question, but Gustavo can sense the fear in the question, from how it was asked.
“Y-Yeah, Pino…” Gustavo chokes out, “I’m alright.”
“Are you sure? You aren’t hurt or anything, are you?”
“I’m alright! It happens, Peppino. We all have to fall into the lake at some point. And I have done it at… many points.” Gustavo smiles, making light of it.
“Still!” Peppino interjects, “Scream next time you hear the ice crackle! It’s mortifying to look out on the ice and see you there one minute, and the next…”
Peppino bites his lip. “I know it’s impossible to prevent, but what if you drowned?”
“I know you won’t let that happen. But I’ll be more careful, honey.”
“Good.” Peppino presses a kiss to Gustavo’s forehead, rising from the ground and holding a hand toward Gustavo. “Let’s head back, okay?”
Gustavo nods, and takes Peppino’s gloved hand, refusing to let it go.
They don’t have to travel far. A log cabin meets the edge of the horizon, and Gustavo can’t help but be surprised at its appearance. It seems freshly built, with only minimal signs of wear and tear. Peppino leads Gustavo onto the front porch, removing his snow boots before heading inside. Gustavo follows his example.
“Brick kept the fire going, looks like.” Peppino murmurs. “So we’ll warm up easy.”
Gustavo nods, stumbling into the unfamiliar home. He watches Peppino fuss over the coat rack, urging Gustavo to remove his so he could get it on there. Gustavo doesn’t miss the dent in the rack, likely created by Peppino’s rage at its imperfection.
“I’ll make us some coffee, Gustavo— I’m sure you want to change, yeah?”
Gustavo nods, heart warm at Peppino’s care and tenderness toward him. The Peppino who harms coat racks seems so far removed from the cautious man who Gustavo knows will spend far too long perfecting a cup of coffee that Gustavo will love no matter what.
But that’s his Pino.
“Sounds good, Peppino.”
~~~
Once Gustavo finishes washing up, he ends up on the couch near the fireplace, at Peppino’s urging. Peppino has two mugs sitting out on the table when Gustavo settles in. While Peppino rushes to the shower, Gustavo is left with only Brick for company— and they don’t engage in conversation, not in this dream.
Brick only slides next to Gustavo and presses his chin onto his lap, nose twitching. His eyes eventually close, and any desire Gustavo might’ve had to do anything else dies on the spot.
When Peppino returns, Gustavo is still petting Brick. He slides next to Gustavo on the couch, his weight pressing against his partner.
“You warming up okay?” Peppino questions, glancing at Brick as he says it. A beat later, he presses a hand to the rat, too, but only for a moment.
Gustavo hums agreeably.
The Peppino in the dream slowly finds it in himself to wrap an arm around Gustavo.
Gustavo stays quiet, aware of the intangibility of this moment, but he tilts his head so that it rests on Peppino’s shoulder comfortably.
“I wish we could stay here forever, Pino,” Gustavo whispers.
“With Brick there, we just might.”
Gustavo sinks deeper into the couch, and when he falls asleep in his dream, the world built around him dissipates, returning to a place beyond memory.
---
The sunrise manages to peer in through the window eventually, sneaking a glance at the scene while simultaneously placing a spotlight on the two men.
The outside world has no interest in how Gustavo’s breathing sometimes morphs into light whispers brought upon by his dreaming. Nor does it acknowledge the light snores that escape Peppino’s person.
Neither of the two men acknowledges this either, in their unconscious state, but they know someone is next to them in a bed that’s always felt a little too large.
The way they hold onto each other with little desire to let go makes their attachment abundantly clear, as well as the smiles that paint their sleeping features as they dream of one another.
For them, their dreams will only further cement their newfound reality.
One they will share together.