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Lucanis awoke in the same place he always did. It was every day now. So often he was no longer jarred by the swirling blue light and fish floating behind glass when his eyes would open.
Spite would ask why they did not just sleep here. The demon bringing them to this room during his wanderings as the one place they could be closest to her.
But Lucanis couldn't explain. Could not make his other half understand the pain that would crash into him if he pushed that door open and her bright smile didn't greet him.
“Mierda,” he whispered as memories flooded him. He buried his face in her blanket. Needing the faint scent of her that still clung to it after all these weeks.
He wasn't sure how he was going to survive once the scent of vanilla and cinnamon was gone. Maybe he would finally snap. Let Spite take control. Ask Davrin, as his best friend not enemy, to end an abomination.
But he couldn't give up hope yet. Emmrich said there was a chance, and he reminded himself of that as he gazed around the perfectly preserved room. It was almost a shrine to her. Just waiting for her return.
He groaned as he unfurled himself from the chaise, his head pounding from lack of coffee. Part of him wanted to stay here all day. Always. But he knew he couldn't. She would want him out there. Doing something.
He just wished he knew what that something was.
“To have you speak to me one more time,” he murmured as he ran a hand over his face as he cleared away the sleep that still clung to him.
He made to rise, but from the corner of his eye caught something sticking out of the cushions. It looked like a letter, and Lucanis couldn't help the pounding of his heart as he reached to pull it free.
To Lucanis
He almost stopped breathing when he saw his name scrawled across the front in her neat script.
“Por la sangre-”
His hands shook as he carefully slid open the letter. There was only one piece of paper inside. Meticulously folded in that way that was so her.
He sucked in a breath as he began to read. The words threatening tears he had been holding in for weeks.
Lucanis, my dearest Lucanis,
If you're reading this then I didn't return. First, I want to apologize. Because this will mean I failed you as a leader at Tearstone. There is still a job to be done, and I want you to be the one to hold them together. And no, I don't want to hear excuses. I watched a man, and his demon, care deeply for every member of this team. You are always thinking of everyone before yourself. Even when Harding would threaten you, you still always made sure to buy her favorite cheese at the market. You made me a lemon tart because it paired well. You made sure Neve ate more than just coffee and fried fish. Spite missed Manfred so much it broke my heart. And don't think I didn't see him sneaking Assan truffles.
Varric taught me that those are the marks of a good leader. We take care of our team. And there's no finer person than you to lead them.
On a more personal note, I'm sorry for us. You were everything to me, and I am saying now what I should have said in person. On the days when I couldn't get through, you were there. With that grin and a plate of paella you always listened. You were my greatest strength. And I am glad if one of us didn't return that it was me. Because a world without you, isn't a world I could bear.
I think I adored you and Spite from the moment you burst into my life in the Ossuary. And I will deeply miss our adventures. I would have liked to have seen Spite learn fire. Have you show me Treviso. Learned to swim.
Please know this though. I love you, Lucanis Dellamorte. And our favorite naughty demon. I can safely say even if I'm gone I love you still from beyond. I would love you in every lifetime. I would die a thousand more times for one day with you. And I am forever grateful for the path that I walked that led me to you.
And now I have one final request. I know I have already asked so much, but please one more thing my love.
Don't give up. Even when the Crow completes his contract, take another. I will wait for you on this side, and I am a patient woman. So take your time. Tell people what happened here. How we made friendships and defeated gods and lived.
And how a simple Rook fell for a Crow and his demon.
As Lucanis finished reading he felt the muscle in his jaw tighten. There was grief in his chest, but also something new- something brighter burned.
Determination.
They would find her. Whatever hole had swallowed her. Whatever gods tried to take her. He would tear the Fade apart himself if he had to.
Because he loved her. They loved her.
And as he stalked from her room with wings sprouting from his back, he knew he wouldn't rest until he was able to tell her exactly how much they needed her.