Chapter Text
I’ve never really liked bitter things, such as coffee. The taste was too strong, it reminded me too much of life in New York. The smell is alright; everyone can agree with that for the most part. The photos, night life, extreme chaos, everything that you wouldn’t experience in regular life. Every blog and news outlet here in Japan glamorized life in the big apple for young people to visit or live out their youth there. It was never permanent; just something you enjoy for a few days to week to escape your own life. Not a bad thing, obviously, but how come I haven’t realized this sooner? Those things don’t last forever, no matter how much you wish it did. The eyes filled with curiosity, unknowing to life outside of the little cage, in my case, Japan, specifically a little ol’ section called Izumo.
I have an annoying younger sister, Kaori, she hasn’t left Japan herself, so when I came back she was asking me all kinds of questions such as “Did you find a beautiful girl there?” and “Do you have any photos?”. While I certainly did find someone beautiful there, you (my mind) and I would know it was a man—she doesn’t have to know that detail though. Oh, how much I miss you, but let's not jumble up the time here. This was before I knew you had died. “There were many beautiful people there, you wouldn’t believe it. Blonde hair, green eyes, taller than you, everything you’d see in a movie.”
“Really!? Wait—HEY!! Just because you giraffes tower over people doesn’t mean you have to bring it up every time!!” She huffed and puffed and couldn’t even blow the house down, heh. While I wasn’t too happy on coming back, I was glad to reminisce over the memories. To go there and tell Kaori stories, to keep her eyes bright, answering the questions that (while not completely honest), were enough to have that silly dream continue to prosper and be visualized more vividly. I need a sip of water. Give me a moment.
I wonder, oh never mind, I’d rather not, those “what if’s” and the sorts don’t lead to anything productive for me. Have I caught you up on my life yet? Well, no, I’ve never written to a blank recipient. This isn’t even a letter, I should’ve just said notebook, ahh you get the gist. I’m in Osaka, Japan; I couldn't get enough of that city life. I haven’t been back to New York, America, there’s no point in going back anyways. Pretty contradictory, I leave Japan and go to America, then I come back to Japan and declare to not return to America. Stuck in a cycle, but the machine broke so it isn’t turning anymore, not sure how long that’ll last. So anyways, I’m in my fourth year of university (yay!!), business major, I’ll return to society as an average 24 year old salary man, or at least I think I might. Something just keeps pulling me to go back, I never do it, but I feel it. I still take the occasional photos and work under Ibe here, hence why I’m able to afford to wallow in my own existential life crisis without having to worry about waking up that (non-existent) roommate in bed. Ibe told me it was a good idea to write in this notebook by the way, he said that I looked “off” and needed to freshen up my mind a bit; not sure if this is an indirect comment towards my hair, I’ll fix it up before I get into office work.
Visiting underground concert venues is probably my favorite place to take photos of, a small room filled with passion and dreams that (while commonly) short-lived, are the best moments of all. The 6 people in the crowd rocking their heads away from corporate life as they all enjoy the background noise and the drummer going crazy on their instrument until they tire out, the loud chatter, all of it is amazing until it dies out. Huh. I haven’t been out in a while now that I think about it, it’s all just memories.