Chapter Text
Cedar Wood rubbed the side of her wooden head. She couldn’t actually feel this motion, just like she couldn’t feel the breeze coming in through the open windows of the Science and Sorcery classroom, or the press of her arms against the desk they were currently resting on.
This lack of feeling bothered Cedar, but the bother was so old that it was barely noticeable anymore. It had sunk into her skin, engraving itself like a fossil in the fabric of her personality.
It also wasn’t what was currently bothering her.
Three weeks. It had been three weeks since she woke up from the school trips around to visit one of the four winds. Her class had been assigned the North Wind, which Headmaster Grimm hoped would change Raven Queen’s mind about trying to choose her own destiny. Like most of his attempts to change her mind, it did not work.
This also didn’t bother Cedar. Well, it did. But it was background noise, a topic she heard Raven complain about and nodded along in agreement to whatever her friend said. She agreed that it was awfully mean of Headmaster Grimm to try to force Raven into a destiny she didn’t want, but there wasn’t much Cedar could do about that, so she was left sympathising.
Still, something else was rattling about inside her wooden head. An inkling, perhaps, or a bug. She felt like a canvas that had a section wiped off, a painting that didn’t technically look unfinished, but you could tell was missing something.
The feeling had been around for three weeks, hence the bother around the field trip.
Her finger traced a small track up and down the side of her skull as Rumplestiltskin spoke and she ignored him. She had begun to ignore all her classes, too distracted by her perpetual bother to focus. Maybe this fact should have concerned her, but her mind seemed a little too crowded to fit that worry in.
She was so distracted, in fact, that she didn’t even notice the small man pointing at her as he yelled his head off. At least, until Raven elbowed her.
“Ow!” she yelped, even though she couldn’t actually feel pain. It was more of a reactionary impulse brought on by seeing so many other people react that way.
“Sorry,” Raven said, also ignoring the fact that Cedar hadn’t felt a thing from her elbow.
“CEDAR WOOD!” Rumplestiltskin bellowed. The entire class was looking at her now, some sympathetic, some annoyed. Great. Cedar pressed her lips together, trying to hold back the urge to blurt out her thoughts.
“Yes, sir?” she said, trying to sound like a polite student who had totally been paying attention to his lecture.
“Straw spinning for a week!” Rumplestiltskin declared gleefully. “Now, name every type of unicorn part that can be used in healing potions or another week gets added!”
He would love that. Rumplestiltskin was always trying to catch people who weren’t focusing in his class to give them homework, which was really an excuse to spin gold for him. Cedar usually didn’t mind, but she felt the shame well inside her at the thought that she would actually deserve this punishment.
She rattled off the unicorn parts she could remember. The horn for memory, hair for longevity, hoof grate for injury, and blood for deadly illness. The disappointment in Rumplestiltskin’s face when she was correct was a small mercy as he waddled off to find another student to torment.
“Are you alright?” Raven whispered to her when he was gone. Cedar pursed her lips, knowing she couldn’t lie her way out of the conversation.
“No,” she sighed, the words coming out against her will. “I feel like I’m forgetting something. Don’t you?”
“Not really,” Raven shrugged. “Maybe you just left something in your room.”
“It’s more than that,” Cedar pressed, the words tumbling out now. “Do you remember that field trip three weeks ago? The one we had to end early?”
“Yeah,” Raven said, listening as she went back to taking notes.
“Do you ever feel like something more happened than just us getting dropped off at the school? I mean, isn’t that weird?” Raven raised an eyebrow at her.
“What would have happened?” she asked, keeping one eye on their teacher.
Cedar sighed and leaned back into her chair, because she didn’t have an answer. As Raven went back to taking notes, she felt a chill up her spine, and turned to see a pair of teal eyes fixed on her that had been listening in.
She may not have had an answer, but she could bet on someone who did.
-
Madeline Hatter sat alone in the library, although sitting would be a stretch for what she was doing. The tips of her toes were balancing against the table on a chair that was backwards and tipped almost parallel to the floor, with her sitting on the part that should have held someone’s back.
Cedar never really understood Maddie, or her methods, but she was a good friend and that was good enough for her.
Beside Maddie, Lizzie Hearts was frowning at a book, looking very close to beheading it. Then again, she always looked close to beheading things, and Cedar often found herself grateful that Lizzie didn’t have access to her card guards from Wonderland to carry out her orders.
Another strange development in her life. Ever since the day of the field trip, Cedar and Lizzie had almost developed a friendship. They weren’t as close as Cedar was to Cerise, or Lizzie was to Kitty, but there was an undercurrent of camaraderie and respect that had been missing from their relationship before. It was nice, and Cedar often found her stomach twisting in all sorts of strange ways when she thought of losing their newfound friendliness.
The two Wonderlandians looked up at Cedar’s arrival, smiling at the sight of her.
They hadn’t said so, but a tentative friendship had sprung up between Cedar and the Wonderlandians since the field trip as well. None of them mentioned it, which Cedar was glad about. If someone acknowledged it, she might be forced to confess her thoughts about the whole situation, and she wasn’t entirely sure that was something she wanted to share.
It was just easier being around the Wonderlandians. Nobody questioned her when she began to space out, mulling over questions she once pushed out of her mind completely. They didn’t glance at her hand when she began to rub the mark on her index finger, which had appeared three weeks ago. And when she asked questions with no preamble or purpose, they just answered without asking why.
Cedar loved her other friends, but it was easier around the Wonderlandians. They didn’t provide explanations, and they didn’t expect them.
The arrangement worked.
So she felt no hesitation about plopping down across from Lizzie and Maddie, looking between the two girls and blurting out, “Do either of you feel weird lately?”
“Every day is strange when your subjects won’t listen to their ruler,” Lizzie replied instantly, not even glancing away from the book she was reading. “Off with your head,” she muttered at it.
“You’re thinking about our Bandersnatch-iful day!” Maddie said, eavesdropping on the Narrator when she knew that wasn’t allowed. “Oh hush,” she said to the Narrator, then focused her attention back on Cedar. “Are you remembering the Jabber-”
“SILENCE!” Lizzie screeched. A couple students sitting at nearby tables dropped their books to cover their ears, and even Maddie flinched at the sound. Cedar had no perception of pain, so the sound was loud but not deafening. Not that she would even know what that felt like.
“Out!” One of the Step Sisters must have snuck up behind the table when they weren’t looking, even though Cedar could have sworn the air was empty a second ago, and her attention was currently focused on the cause of the disturbance.
Lizzie mumbled Riddlish riddles that sounded awfully close to cursing as she was escorted out.
“What was that about?” Cedar asked the second Lizzie was gone.
“She’s been gallumphing every time I try to mention it,” Maddie shrugged, flipping open the book that Lizzie had been looking through. “She won’t believe that she was chopped down, and her axe a-wandering through our home.”
Then, Maddie pushed the book that Lizzie had been looking through over to Cedar, whose face dropped at the sight of it.
She had never seen a Jabberwocky in person. Nobody had, apart from the few seconds after Maddie freed one a month ago. After Maddie’s name was cleared, nobody dared mention it. After all, the Jabberwocky would be resting for years before it attacked next, and might not even attack in their lifetime.
So why did the sight of the creature on the page make Cedar’s insides feel all swoopy and scared and… real? The fear that shot through her wasn’t the detached attempt at feeling that her emotions were usually like. It seemed to take over her entire body, making her hand creak as it shook. Like a real girl.
“What do you mean, she was chopped down?” Cedar asked Maddie, hoping her voice was less shaky than it sounded to her.
“Her branches were snipped,” Maddie said, waving her hand through the air to mimic the action. “She lost her leaves and the Galumphing hunt hasn’t finished. But her house grew legs and wandered away.”
“What snipped them?” Cedar asked. The longer she hung around Maddie, the quicker she could pick up on her friend’s odd way of delivering information.
“Can’t say,” Maddie shrugged. “I’m already in trouble with the Chief Chronicler.”
“What’s that?” When Maddie didn’t respond, Cedar sighed. “Let me guess. You can’t tell me that either?”
“You’re good at this!” Maddie smiled, clapping her hands together. It earned the girls a glare from the Step Sisters, which they ignored. “I can give you a hint, though. Right, Narrator?”
As the Narrator was not allowed to interfere with the story, the Narrator could not answer questions. However, something like what Maddie suggested would not technically break the rules of narration, if she so wished to do so.
“Thanks, Narrator!” Maddie chirped before turning back to Cedar. “You’re on the right track. The dates line up. But you need to figure out what happened between the now and the then. Good luck!”
Then she bounded off in the same direction as Lizzie, leaving Cedar more helpless and confused than ever.
-
“Your assignment is simple,” Maid Marian said. “You will be getting rescued from a dragon by one of our valiant princes. If you have a partner in mind, now would be the time to find them. If not, please wait in line for one to be assigned to you.”
Cedar wasn’t sure why she had to take Damsel-in-Distressing class. Her story didn’t warrant her being saved, but Headmaster Grimm insisted it would be good practice for when she was swallowed by a whale.
Girls shuffled their way over to the princes. Among the other odd faces in the class, Lizzie and Raven were particular standouts. Surprisingly, both managed to find partners pretty quickly. Raven made her way straight to Dexter, and the two were whispering about something within seconds. It made Cedar remember another day, when she was practising for a race, and asked Raven if she liked Dexter. The memory felt fuzzy, like it was behind a thin curtain trying to blur it out, which was strange because Cedar technically had a perfect memory.
Lizzie didn’t march towards anyone, but within minutes Daring was trying to convince her of the benefits of having him as a partner. That surprised Cedar. She expected him to go straight to Apple, but Apple was being swarmed by the majority of the boys, so he might not have been able to make it through.
What surprised her more was the annoyance that flashed through her at the sight of the two together. She shook her hands, hoping to shake the feeling out through them, and wandered over to her only friend in the Hero Training class.
“Hi Nate.”
Nathan Nutcracker had a tuft of white hair that was always perfectly styled coming out of the top of his head, a perpetual smile, and the same ridged, brown wooden skin of Cedar.
She liked Nathan. He was perpetually calm, which she supposed would happen if you knew that you were going to end up with a happy ending. His happily ever after would be something sweet and guaranteed.
“Hey Cedar,” he said, giving her a fistbump. Their hands made a small clunk when they hit, the wood bumping off with more force than human hands would.
Cedar always wondered how Nathan felt about being a puppet forever. At least she would be a real girl at the end of her story, but he would be wooden forever. Then again, he came from a land where candies were people, so that may have shaped his perspective on the whole ordeal differently.
“Don’t let me go up in flames, please,” she said, glancing nervously at the arena they would be entering. In it was a dragon that was currently being looked after by Professor Poppa Bear. He was good with animals, so she wasn’t worried about it getting out.
That didn’t mean she wasn’t scared of the fire.
“Don’t worry, I hear I’m pretty good with a sword,” Nate told her, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. She couldn’t suppress her laugh, which was partially influenced by the fact that his eyebrows made a funny creaking sound when they were moved that quickly. “You guys practise waiting, right? Just imagine tasting food or something for the first time. I can imagine that for hours.”
“I’ll just picture a lineup of cakes and pastries,” Cedar said, the image popping into her head the second she said it. Her fingers moved as if she was painting it as she talked. “I’ll walk down, trying a bit of each, and none will be just right.”
“But at the end,” Nate continued, picking up on the game, “you’ll come across this one cake. It won’t be as tall as the others, just one tier. It’s short and simply decorated, but you dip your finger in and when you lick the cake off, it’s the best red velvet you’ve ever had in your life.”
“That sounds amazing,” Cedar sighed. “If I had a stomach, it would be rumbling right now.”
“I try,” Nate shrugged.
“Everyone line up with your partners, please!” Maid Marian called out.
Apple had ended up pairing with some random prince, and filed in first in line while Daring lined up behind her, talking to her partner. Behind them, Ashlynn and Hunter stood with their fingers interlaced, Darling and a random prince behind them, Raven and Dexter behind them, and so on. As Cedar walked over with Nate, she caught Lizzie looking at the two of them and frowning, and wondered what that was about.
But the second she caught Lizzie’s eye, her friend turned away. It hurt a little. Cedar thought they were closer than that.
One by one, the pairs filed into the arena. Cedar watched them, her knees making small sounds as they knocked together. From inside the arena, she could hear the roars of the dragon as it chased around girls and got fought off by the boys, who were allowed into the arena after a minute of their partner being stuck in there.
When it was Cedar’s turn, she took a moment to reassure herself that, besides Daring, Nate was one of the best swordsmen she knew. With that in mind, she gave him a weak smile as she wobbled her way into the arena.
Legend was the only dragon in the school, and technically she belonged to the Charming’s, so it was no surprise to Cedar when she saw the purple scales and leathery wings.
That didn’t mean her knees stopped rattling when she saw the way Legend’s nostrils puffed smoke.
In the corner of the arena, Professor Poppa Bear waved at her like this was any old Tuesday. To him, she supposed it might be, but she was less familiar with deadly animals.
“Now, Cedar, I’m going to instruct Legend to chase you,” Poppa Bear yelled at her from the corner he was stashed in. He had a glass case and everything, to protect him from fire. She wondered if there was a way for her to break into it. “Legend won’t hurt you, just run when she starts coming towards you and wait for Chase to fight her off. Do you understand?”
With a monumental amount of effort, Cedar nodded her head.
Poppa Bear gave some kind of hand signal to Legend, who straightened up the second he did. His hand raised, and Cedar felt her anxiety raise with it.
Then it dropped.
Legend was quick to respond to orders. That was the only thought that Cedar managed before she was screaming and running as fast as possible in the other direction from the rampaging dragon huffing out clouds of smoke on her heels. At any moment she could catch fire if she didn’t slow down, and it was only that reminder that kept her going.
Of course, she could have continued running forever if she needed to, considering she didn’t have lungs or a heart to beat too fast. That didn’t mean she wanted to.
Ducking under some bleachers, Cedar hid around a corner, peeking out to see Legend huffing at being cut off from her prey.
Her fear seemed to be racing through her body, making her toes tingle and her eyes dart around. It was different than her usual manufactured fear, closer to what she imagined real fear feeling like. Like she remembered the feeling, but her wooden body couldn’t quite replicate it fully.
The thought nearly stopped her in her tracks, and would have if Legend didn’t turn to meet her eyes at that moment.
Screaming, Cedar took off again as the dragon began tearing apart the bleachers, just carefully enough so that a person wouldn’t die if they were underneath. They would certainly be injured, though.
She sprinted as fast as possible in the opposite direction, and nearly cried in relief when she saw Nate walking through the doors, quickly turning around in circles to assess the situation. When he saw her, he sprinted over, his red armour clanking together as he ran.
“Cedar!” he yelled, scanning her as he approached. “Are you alright?”
She tried to crack a smile. It kind of worked, her mouth curving at the edges, although it felt more similar to a grimace. It must have looked more similar to one as well, because Nate’s eyebrows only drew further together in concern.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she said, trying to wave him off. “Go complete your prince homework.”
“Not a prince,” he reminded her, his shoulders relaxing at her confirmation of her safety.
Cedar just shrugged. “And I’m not a princess, but I’m in Damsel-in-Distress class.”
“Good point,” Nate grinned, patting her quickly on the shoulder before drawing his sword and sprinting at full speed towards Legend. When Cedar finally allowed herself to glance away, she saw Poppa Bear waving her over.
“Good job,” he said when she walked over to him. “You evaded capture well, and can go with the other princesses now.”
“What about Nate?” Cedar asked.
“I will watch over him,” Poppa Bear said dismissively. It was clearly an order to leave, but Cedar wasn’t going anywhere.
“I can stay,” she said, glaring at her professor. “To make sure he’s safe.”
He just nodded, clearly uninterested, and shifted over to reveal a seat beside him. Cedar settled in, certain that she wouldn’t be allowed back out now that she had technically been rescued. The thought bothered her. Who just left the person who rescued them to fend for themself against a dragon? Or was it another test, some weird trial of compassion? Maybe it was meant to see if she was a proper damsel, but if proper damsels left people like that then Cedar thought she would be alright without the title.
Without Cedar there, Legend stopped holding back, bearing down on Nate fangs-first. It was terrifying to watch, but also awe-inspiring as she watched Nate duck and weave around such a large creature flawlessly.
It was one thing to hear about her friend’s sword skills, and another to see them in action.
After what felt like an eternity of watching Nate roll around beneath Legend to avoid being stepped on, he managed to back the dragon up into the corner of the arena, his sword aimed over her heart. The dragon looked mildly disgruntled, but was obviously used to putting on a show, because she let out the most ear-piercing screech Cedar had ever heard.
Only, she had heard that sound before. A few weeks ago, as an animal was pushed back. She could see the image play out like it was happening, the same veneer that had coated her other memories coating this one too. Just as the animal turned to reveal what it was, she felt the world go dark.
-
“Cedar? CEDAR!”
Cedar blinked very slowly, the world coming back into focus. Her teachers and classmates were all gathered around her, a very worried Nathan perched at her elbow. When he saw that she was awake, his body creaked with relaxation. He must have been very tense.
Wait, what was happening? Why were they all gathered?
“Did I do something strange?” she blurted out before she could think to hold the thought back.
Maid Marian, who was at her other elbow, shook her head. “You didn’t do anything, Cedar. You were sitting watching Nathan fight Legend and passed out. We think the fight might have sent you into shock.”
“Oh.” She supposed they were looking for a bigger reaction, because Maid Marian’s eyebrows pinched together in worry. “It’s not like I can be brain damaged, so you don’t have to worry about me.”
“You can still be hurt,” Maid Marian said, placing what she supposed was meant to be a comforting hand on Cedar’s arm. It just felt overbearing to her, but she made sure to keep her mouth pressed tightly shut so she didn’t blurt that out too. “How do you feel?”
“Confused,” Cedar responded automatically. She didn’t mind. After a bit of time she’d gotten used to her answers forcing their way out of her. “Mostly. I’m not in pain, which I suppose is what you’re worried about, but I can’t feel pain so I guess I could be in a lot of danger without realising it. My leg could be severed for all I know, and I’d be none the wiser.”
That seemed to horrify Maid Marian, but Cedar was thankfully able to keep her thoughts about that from slipping out.
“Well, thankfully your leg is still attached,” Maid Marian said, helping Cedar to her feet. “You passed out in the arena. Were you very scared by the dragon?”
“No, I…” Cedar trailed off, trying to remember what happened. Nate had been fighting the dragon, and it reminded her of something. She tried to recall what it reminded her of, but the attempt just made pain shoot through her head. Real-feeling pain that seemed to go through her wooden body. But that wasn’t possible, was it?
“Cedar?” Maid Marian asked. When she looked up, she realised she was clutching her head.
“I don’t remember why I passed out,” Cedar answered honestly. “I was watching Nate fight the dragon, and then everything just went dark.”
“I imagine watching a friend in a fight like that can be stressful,” Poppa Bear said, popping up from behind Dexter and Raven, who sprang apart at his appearance. “This seems like a simple case of shock, don’t you agree, Marian?”
“You don’t believe that,” Cedar blurted out.
Poppa Bear’s eyes darted towards her for a split second, but the meaning behind them was crystal clear. He didn’t want her mentioning why she thought he didn’t believe that, but why? It wasn’t like Cedar knew, but did he think she did? And even if she did, what was there to know?
“Still in a bit of shock, I see,” Poppa Bear laughed, patting Cedar’s shoulder good-naturedly. She pressed her lips together so hard she felt the wood squeak together, but no more words came out of her mouth as Maid Marian’s eyes darted between the two, trying to figure out what was going on. Cedar would have liked to know, too. “Nothing a bit of rest won’t get rid of.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Maid Marian said slowly, even though she sounded like she believed the exact opposite. Cedar wondered what it would sound like for her to lie like that. What tone would her voice take, if it wasn’t speaking the truth for once?
As the class was dispersed, Cedar slouched her way back to school, feeling like a total fairy-failure. It wasn’t enough that she was already a freak, but now she had to go and faint in front of the entire class when she wasn’t even a real damsel!
“You’re not a freak,” a voice declared beside her. She jumped, relaxing when she saw that Lizzie had snuck up on her. Had she said that aloud? “Yes, and you’re not as quiet as you think you are. Private thoughts are for private heads, where they can be properly shelved with the others. If they’re in the world they’re no good anymore.”
Cedar smiled at her friend. Were they friends? She could never tell with Lizzie. Still, the advice seemed to be out of concern, so Cedar decided to take it that way.
“Thanks,” she said. “Sometimes the thoughts just come out on their own, though. Haven’t you ever had that happen to you?”
“A fixed clock is never right twice a day,” Lizzie answered. “Friends are fiends, unless they’re pirates. Are you a pirate?”
Cedar blinked at that. Was she? “Last time I checked, no.” Lizzie seemed to deflate a little at her answer. “I mean, I think stealing is wrong and obviously I couldn’t be a pirate if I didn’t steal, but I do like sailing I guess.”
“So you would sail on a pirate ship if you didn’t have to steal?” Lizzie pressed.
“If I didn’t have to steal, then I guess,” Cedar shrugged.
“Good,” Lizzie nodded like this was a very important bit of insight, and seemed a bit more at ease. Cedar couldn’t even begin to imagine why, but she didn’t worry about it too much. If Lizzie thought she needed to know, then Cedar trusted her to tell. “Then why did you faint when you saw the dragon?”
“Oh, that,” Cedar would have gulped if she had any saliva, and could have sworn her cheeks felt warm. “I didn’t mean to cause a fuss. It just reminded me of something.”
“With feathered claws and talons?” Lizzie said, aiming for nonchalant, but the waver in her voice gave her away.
The suggestion made Cedar’s spine tingle the same way it had when she heard the dragon roar. What was going on with her?
“Why did you say that, Lizzie?” Cedar asked.
For a long moment, Lizzie was silent, and Cedar was half certain she had run out of luck with the future Queen of Hearts. Then, with a shaky sigh, she muttered, “Something I remembered. I think”
The two walked in silence for a little, Cedar thinking over the words. Something she remembered. Memory. That seemed to be the issue everyone was having lately. Aside from Maddie, who couldn’t talk about the actual issue for some reason she was refusing to share, but needed to ask permission from her imaginary voices to even hint at.
Cedar felt a tingle in her stomach, the same one she felt before passing out.
“I can’t seem to remember much these days,” she muttered. Lizzie raised an eyebrow, scanning Cedar.
“This remembering issue… it’s been for the past few weeks, yes?” Lizzie asked.
“Maybe,” Cedar admitted. They paused in front of the General Villainy classroom, Lizzie shifting from foot to foot as she stared at Cedar.
“This is me,” she said shortly. She opened her mouth again, then snapped shut again. Cedar found her thumb and forefinger rubbing together over the mark that had appeared on her hand, an anxious habit she’d developed in the past few weeks.
“I don’t want you to go,” Cedar admitted, feeling her face heat up at the admission.
“Many wouldn’t,” Lizzie replied. “My presence is, of course, a delight.”
“Not because of that,” Cedar sighed, before quickly raising a hand and blurting out, “I mean, not that I don’t like hanging out with you! Just, that wasn’t what I meant. Gosh, I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologising?” Lizzie asked, tilting her head. It made her crown tilt as well, which Cedar found herself holding back a giggle at the sight of.
“Never mind,” she muttered, accepting defeat as she turned to walk away. Before she could, a hand wrapped around her wrist, and teal eyes fixed on her.
“Would you,” Lizzie paused, seeming to have an internal argument with herself. Cedar had seen enough of them to recognise one. “I mean, you will help me! As a… friend, if you wish. And because I ordered it.”
“Help with what?” Even as she asked, Cedar could feel the answer pricking at the back of her skull.
“I want to find out what happened on that field trip. It was something important, don’t you think?” Lizzie’s insistence brought back all the strange anxiety that had been sweeping through Cedar for weeks, ever since she had woken up in the Grimmnasium. But there was one more question Cedar needed to ask Lizzie.
“Why do you care so much about this?”
Everyone else at school brushed Cedar off when she asked about it, saying that they probably ran into an enchanted bush that put the class to sleep on the field trip and got teleported back by the teachers. Cedar didn’t buy that explanation, and hadn’t understood why her classmates did. Maddie, of course, knew something, but there was little Cedar could do about that. But Lizzie? She rarely engaged in a conversation if it wasn’t about her.
Judging by the way she stiffened up at Cedar’s question, it had been the right one to ask. In fact, Cedar was certain Lizzie would yell at her to go away, and they would begin hunting for answers later. Instead, her friend fixed her eyes on Cedar and took a deep breath, steeling herself.
“Because I think it has something to do with Wonderland.”