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Frank was laying down next to Gerard, staring at the ceiling. He looked over to his sleeping partner and sighed. He wasn’t even a real boy, how did the other even love him? Frank pulled his shirt up a bit and put his hands on his breasts. They were big and uncomfortable. The sight of them put tears in his eyes. He hated them, he hated them so much. He wished he could just cut them off and never have to deal with them.
He pulled his shirt back down before quietly getting up and walking towards his closet. Frank searched through the clothes piled until he finally found his binder. He took off his shirt and put it on, ignoring how tight it was and how it blocked his air. It was a size too small, but he didn’t care. He just wanted something to cover his breasts. Something to make him look more like a boy. Frank pulled his t-shirt back and walked to the bathroom.
He switched on the lights and closed the door behind him. There was a long mirror that he stared at, taking in his reflection. His brain immediately pointed out his huge hips, how feminine they were and how he couldn’t wear boys jeans because they were too tight around his waist. He looked at his face, his facial structure was feminine and he looked like a girl pretending to be a boy with his short hair.
He continued staring at the mirror, his brain pointing out more feminine parts about his body. His height, his chest, his face, his legs, his crotch, and so much more. Frank stood there for god knows how long until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the contact almost immediately.
“—kie? Are you alright?” A rough, groggy voice asked. Frank turned around to see his partner looking at him with a concerned look and tired eyes. He let out a broken sob, he hadn’t even realized he was crying.
“Oh, Frankie…” Gerard pulled him into a hug and Frank buried his head in their chest. He wrapped his arms around the taller’s waist. Gerard brought one of their arms to Frank’s head and started playing with his hair. Frank whined quietly and then sobbed even harder. “What happened, baby?”
Frank opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was another broken sob. Gerard frowned and rested their head on top of Frank’s. They used their other hand to rub circles on Frank’s back while continuing to play with his hair. Frank melted into the touch and gripped onto Gerard’s shirt as if they would disappear if he let go. Frank continued to sob and mutter quiet apologies in Gerard’s chest.
After some time passed, Gerard offered for them to go back to the bed instead of standing in the bathroom. Frank nodded and they made their way to the bed, turning off the lights behind them. Gerard held Frank tightly in bed, whispering reassurances.
Frank finally spoke after what felt like hours, “I-I’m sorry for waking you up, I didn’t mean to, Gee.” He winced at how high and rough his voice was. “I don’t know what happened, today was supposed to be a good day and now I can’t stop crying and thinking about my body. Like how I’m not a real boy, how I’m just a girl trying to look like one. How do you even love me?” His voice cracked at the last part, which broke Gerard’s heart.
Gerard held Frank tighter. They brought one of their hands to Frank’s face and cupped his cheek, looking into his brown eyes. “Frank- fuck, of course I love you. Why wouldn’t I? You’re amazing, handsome, talented and so much more. You aren’t a girl trying to be a boy, not even close. You’re a boy and you always have been,” they wiped away Frank’s tears with their thumb.
Frank just buried his face in Gerard’s chest again. Ignoring the wet spot he had caused. Gerard frowned, before playing with his hair again. “Do you have your binder on?” Frank nodded and Gerard sat the two of them up so they could take it off. They pulled off Frank’s shirt, and then carefully pulled off the too-small binder. Frank felt tears fill his eyes again when the binder was off, Gerard wiped his eyes. Frank took the shirt and pulled it back on.
Frank pulled Gerard in for a hug, enjoying the fruity smell of their red hair. Frank asked tiredly if they could speak about it the next day and a yawn followed the question. Gerard nodded and the two lay down in the bed. Frank quickly fell asleep after, exhausted from the crying. Gerard sighed and tucked the other’s hair behind his ear. They closed their eyes and fell asleep soon after.