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It was morbid curiosity.
Gideon had swaggered in after a night out; shirt hastily tucked into wrinkled pants and the air of time well spent. His… third? Fourth? Body of the week and they’d JUST arrived to this town. Morning Frost couldn’t stop his brain from making the calculations. Not every person Gideon picked up along their travels was… biologically compatible, but the chances were not zero…
“Gideon. Have you met any of your kids?” The genasi had been draped over a chair, fully confident in the space he occupied. Suddenly the walls had crashed around him. Gricko snickered.
“Good question Frosty! There’s bound to be little kideons running around.”
“Y’all are making an awful lot of assumptions!” Gideon looked like a man drowning. “I’m not a complete idiot.” Kremy snorted.
“Logically speaking, it’s bound to have happened.” Frost continued. “Out of hundreds of encounters, statistically-“
“Gid doesn’t have any kids. Well that we know of…” Kremy piped up, clearly enjoying the other man’s discomfort, “and we intend to KEEP it that way, right Gid?” He huffed.
“Baron willing. Why worry, we got all that figured out ages ago.”
“Yeah, Gid got a vasectomy.” Frost looked surprised.
“A vasectomy?”
“When?” Gideon shot Kremy a look from across the room.
~
Life outside of bondage was intoxicating. Freedom to move, to breathe, to eat and drink and be merry in a way Gideon had never experienced. It was hard at first to acclimate to a world outside four walls. People demanded things. Money or words.
Gideon didn’t have any of that. Not at first. Money was intangible, nothing more than a concept lost to time in his mind. Words were… hard. Everyone wanted them. Answers, explanations, greetings; it was maddening. He hadn’t talked to another being in years, now he was expected to talk all the time/. It took a few months running around as Kremy’s muscle to loosen his tongue. Once he figured out how to speak, he couldn’t shut up.
He learned a lot during that time, relying on Kremy to teach him how to simply talk. Too many nights in the woods from Gideon not understanding basic social conventions.
“Gid, you can’t just throw money at the guy and scream ‘beer’! It’s rude.” He thought it was direct. The prices were listed on a board behind the bar, he’d given the man exact change, and delivered his order clearly. Apparently that was wrong.
“Gods Gid! You gotta treat a lady a little nicer. They need a little finesse, charm; getting under their dress takes care.” As if the alligator would understand. Gideon wasn’t one hundred percent sure what was under that suit, but give it time. Kremy shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this…” he knocked back his rum and stared into his eyes. Gold like a rising moon. “Look, if I help you get laid will you stop drooling over the bartender. I can practically feel the desperation from here.” He sneered. Gideon nodded. Words still foreign to his lips. “Alright. For starters, you’re gonna have to speak. Audibly.” He slipped off the barstool and surveyed the bar. Standard mid-size city tavern. Busy but not crowded, everyone drinking and a few tables playing cards. Kremy would have to drop in after this little lesson. With any luck, he could have a night to himself.
Thankfully, the gods had blessed Gideon with a beautiful face. He may be a little scrawny and unkempt, but it added to his potential charm. A lost puppy in need of a warm bed. They bought a drink for a cute human woman, Gideon didn’t speak much. He didn’t have to. She lead him to her room and Kremy cleaned up at cards. Kremy didn’t know the full extent of the whole ‘train thing’. Gideon was imprisoned, it was awful, he escaped. He hadn’t asked. Gideon was his imposing shadow, annoying at times but mostly harmless.
It was his fault for assuming Gideon knew what he was doing.
One taste is all it took. The man became an incorrigible horn dog. Just the worst.
“Kremy you won’t BELIEVE what happened next…” became a common mantra. The warlock often wondered if killing the man and reviving him as a mindless zombie would be better. Tavern after tavern, town after town, Gideon fell in and out of beds. On one hand Kremy was happy to see his new companion spring to life, on the other… “Gods she was good. Shoulda seen her wrapped around my-“
“Gid would you kindly shut the fuck up.” Gideon snuck in a last suggestive eyebrow waggle before the spell takes hold. Months of trying to get the man to speak, now he wouldn’t stop. Kremy felt there was a monkeys paw out there somewhere with one curled finger.
“Listen, as much as I’d love to hear about what you did to that poor girl,” Gideon’s eyes rolled, “we’ve got a problem. See I do all our shopping and keep all our money, and I know I haven’t purchased any… protection. You are being careful right? I can’t afford to have my bodyguard leaving behind a trail of fatherless children. It’s tacky.” The genasi looked confused. Kremy dropped the spell immediately. Good Lord Baron Samedi help him. “Gideon Coal please tell me you know the bare minimum about safe sex or I’m gonna feel real guilty.”
“I pull out every time if that’s what you’re asking.”
“That’s not in the realm of- you know I shouldn’t be surprised. How old were you on that train?” Gideon shrugged.
“17 I think?”
“And you’re what 30?”
“Uhhh 28. Although the years blur together after 20.” Wasn’t that the truth. Kremy himself was 31, left home at 16 and never looked back. Very different than whatever happened to Gid. Kremy had time to explore and learn what made people tick. Money, words; intimacy was just another tool in his belt. He’d had freedom. Well, from a certain point of view.
“I’m not an idiot. Besides it’s kinda fun to-“
“Condoms. Gideon. Do you even know what that is.” Kremy was losing patience. It wasn’t his job to teach his employee basic sex education.
“The fucks a condom?” And there it was. The sinking suspicion that had plagued the warlocks mind, confirmed.The man was truly hopeless. Well at the very least he knew the birds and the bees. Kremy LeCroux might’ve cut his losses and killed the idiot himself if that was where this conversation started.
“We’re getting you neutered.” Gideon froze.
“What?! Oh no, no one is touching little Gid.”
“Just listen. First we’re going to have a very awkward conversation. One that we will never talk about ever again. Then, we are heading to a town big enough to have a decent pharmacy and grabbing condoms. Finally you’re getting a gods damn vasectomy.”
“Do I have a choice in this?” Kremy shook his head.
“Nope. Not if you’re going to continue to galavant around Avantris dick first. It’s a liability to my business. You’re too damn old to be this irresponsible.” Gideons flaming hair flickered.
“I don’t see what I’m getting out of this; my body, my choice and all that.”
“Your choices have consequences that affect me. You want to keep catting around? Fine, have fun raising your kittens.” The last word was a sneer. Stupid, selfish, hedonistic man. If he didn’t make a decent bodyguard Kremy wouldn’t bother. A beautiful moron with no regard for the people in his orbit. Gods he was attractive, that would be their downfall if he wasn’t careful. Gideon bristled at the ‘kittens’ comment.
“I said I pull out! What more do you want?” A long metal spike through the brain stem. That’s what he needed.
“Gid, kindly sit down and listen. When I’m done giving my little lecture we will never talk about this again.” In A puff of purple smoke accompanied by jazz, a contract landed in the alligator’s hand. “Sign.”
“What am I getting again?” Baron grant him patience.
“Knowledge. Basic fucking knowledge. And I get the peace of mind that a pack of half genasi bastards won’t hunt us down one day.” Gideon signed the contract. Simple. The paper snapped out of existence, Kremy’s face fell. “I’m only doing this once so pay attention.” Unfortunately for him, genasi was enjoying his discomfort. Asshole. He shot him a lecherous look, all hesitation about getting neutered replaced with casual sadism. The fucker knew he was attractive, how could he not? It took him no effort at all to get someone into his bed. He could barely speak when they met but now?
“You’ve got my full attention. I’ll make sure to ask loads of questions.” Fuck. This. Guy. Kremy was doing the world a public fucking service making sure he didn’t reproduce.
~
They said none of this to their friends. It wasn’t their business.
“That’s surprisingly responsible of you Gideon.”
Yeah. Responsible.