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Theo placed his hand on Intak’s neck and pushed his face closer and closer towards him. Intak's hands settled at Theo's waist. The pepero between them was almost gone. They were mere millimeters from each other. And all Jiung could think about at that sight, was that ugly feeling bubbling up inside of his chest.
Theo pushed Intak even closer. They took the last bite and the tiny piece of pepero fell between them. Intak took a step back and Theo grinned into the camera as he said “Oh? Our lips touched.”
Everyone started laughing and cheering and so did Jiung, trying hard to suppress the urge to scream in frustration. They had been shooting for Harmony Adventure for quite some time now and he was kind of feeling on edge. Especially after seeing Intak and Theo acting all cozy together. Something about that just… didn't sit right with him. He knew it was mostly just an act for the concept of the episode. But Theo’s act with it. It just drove him mad for some reason.
When they continued shooting Jiung couldn't help but let his gaze linger on Intak. That sting from before never left his chest.
He didn't even know why he was feeling like this. Why did it bother him so much that Theo was so close to Intak when they were filming? Where was this coming from?
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They got back to their dorm late that night after filming. All of them were exhausted and got ready for bed quickly. They laid down and Jiung could quickly hear Keeho and Intak's sleeping noises.
He was tired and exhausted too and wanted nothing but to fall asleep, but his racing mind kept him awake. He couldn't help but think back to that moment when they had played the pepero game. The image of Theo leaning in while holding on to Intak's head, just didn't leave his mind. The more he thought about it the more this feeling from before started bubbling up again. What was that about? When had he started feeling so strongly about… Intak? Had it always bothered him so much when Theo was close to Intak?
He thought back to when they were filming their “best friend dating show” content. Intak and him had been close throughout the filming. Jiung had liked being so close to Intak, he always did. And in the end, when Intak had chosen him as his partner, his heart had skipped a beat and he had felt a warmth spreading throughout his body, coming right from his heart. He had felt some kind of pride, knowing Intak had chosen him over the other four.
So, was he jealous that he hadn't been chosen as Intak's partner for this episode? Was that it? But why would he be jealous because of that? Sure, Intak was his friend and he enjoyed being paired with him a lot. But was it really that bad to be paired with someone else? Or rather to have Intak be paired with someone else?
There were just too many questions in Jiung's head. And he didn't know the answer to a single one of them.
It was only until much later that he finally fell asleep. But even in his dreams he was plagued with more questions and confusing feelings.
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Over the next days Jiung realized that every time he was near Intak he felt weird. There was this unfamiliar feeling bubbling up inside of his chest. He really didn't know what to make of it. It was like he was always on edge. Every time Intak touched him, intentionally or unintentionally, it left his skin burning.
He kind of started feeling a bit nervous whenever he was alone with Intak, so he tried to avoid that. He noticed Intak pouting whenever Jiung fled when they were left alone. But he just couldn't handle being alone with him at the moment. This was all too confusing for him. He was just feeling way too much.
First he needed to figure out what was going on with him. And being near Intak made his ability to think clearly disappear. So that wasn't helping.
Still, he couldn't help but let his gaze linger on Intak, whenever the other wasn't looking. He was quick to turn away, when the other looked over to him. His cheeks slightly reddened whenever he was caught.
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They had just gotten home from a long day full of work. Keeho suggested that they should all go out and eat something together, instead of ordering in, like they had initially planned. Everyone was quick to agree, but Jiung really didn't feel like it, so he made up an excuse to stay back. He told them that he was feeling too exhausted from their schedule to go out today and that he would just eat something at the dorm and then get some rest.
So the others had left without him. Jiung hadn't missed the look Intak had given him, before he walked out of the door, following the others. But he wasn't going to read too much into that.
Now Jiung was sitting down on his bed, blankly staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were circling around Intak once again. He sighed, this was really going nowhere.
He decided it was time to stop moping around and finally try to figure this out. And he knew just the person to call for advice. He looked for his best friend's contact and clicked the call button. Jiung didn't have to wait for long, because he immediately picked up the phone.
"Jiung! Hi! What's up?” rang the voice of his best friend from the other side.
Jiung couldn't help but smile “Hi Jungsu! Are you busy right now?”
“No, not at all. We just got back from our schedule and now I'm just chilling alone in my room. Are you okay? You sound a little…” Jungsu sounded a bit concerned at Jiung's tone.
He sighed, “Ah, well, yeah. There's something I need to talk about. I feel like I'm going insane if I don't get this out. And you're the only one I can talk to about this.”
“Oh, that sounds serious? You know I'm always here for you.” He could imagine how Jungsu's brows furrowed on the other side. He was glad that his best friend was always looking out for him, really they both were always looking out for each other.
“Well, it's kind of a bit embarrassing. But lately, I'm somehow having some confusing feelings and I don't really know what to make of them.”
Jungsu softly said, “Alright, I'm listening.”
And then Jiung spilled everything. He told Jungsu about how everything started with that stupid pepero game and how he had been feeling lately. The way he was suddenly overly aware of Intak's presence and how the younger boy suddenly made him feel nervous whenever they were together. How he couldn't be alone with Intak for too long. How it felt as if he had suddenly forgotten how to act around the other.
How he had been avoiding him. And how he missed him. Oh how he missed him. How he missed his smile and the way his nose crinkled when he grinned widely. How he missed the warmth of Intak's body next to his. How he missed his touch, that he was always quick to brush away because he wasn't a big fan of physical touch. But in secret, he had come to the realization that when it came to Intak, he didn't mind it all too much. Maybe even craved it.
When he was finished, after what felt like an hour long monologue, there was silence. Jungsu took a moment to answer, “Wow. I didn't expect this to be the thing you were worried about.”
Jiung carefully asked “Ah… So, what are you saying?”
“You thought about all that and haven't come to a conclusion yet…?” Jungsu replied.
“Not really…”
Jungsu sighed, “Oh boy. Jiung, bro, have you considered… that you might have a huge crush on Intak.”
“Huh?”
“I said what I said. Have you heard yourself talk? That was like a whole essay of a love confession. You do realize that, right?” He could practically hear Jungsu grin through the phone.
Love..? Sure, he loved Intak, but in a platonic way. Right..? “That doesn't… that doesn't make sense. Why would I suddenly have a crush on Intak?” Jiung said, but he didn't really sound confident. Who was he trying to convince anyways? Jungsu? Or himself?
Jungsu took a deep breath, before he started talking in a soft voice, “Maybe it's not sudden. Maybe you just haven't noticed it before. The way you look at him has always been kind of… different. Like, I feel like there's always been more to the two of you. You two have always been closer than the others, haven't you? Maybe you haven't realized it yet because you've been so used to having Intak always by your side. And now that he's not there constantly – which is your fault for avoiding him I might add – you're starting to realize just how much you need him and how much he means to you.”
Jungsu's statement rendered him speechless. He just gave him a whole different way to look at the situation. That must have been Jungsu's F personality coming through.
Maybe Jungsu was right. Maybe Jiung had known all along. And suddenly all those confusing feelings started to make sense. It was like puzzle pieces clicking in place. Of course he liked Intak. How could he not? He was Intak. Sweet, lovable, charming Intak. How could he not fall for him? It was like flowers blooming in spring. Jiung falling for Intak, it was bound to happen.
Jiung let out the breath he was holding. That was kind of a lot to handle right now.
Jungsu asked, sounding slightly concerned “Are you good?”
“I guess. Just having a lot of realizations right now. But thank you for listening to me. You really did help a lot. And… you're probably right.”
Jungsu hummed, “What are you going to do about it now?”
Jiung sighed, “I don't know. I really don't know. But I guess I'll have to figure something out.”
There was rustling on the other end, “Ah, Jiseok is calling. I think I'll have to go now. Are you going to be okay?” Jungsu said, his tone softening.
Jiung smiled to himself, “It's fine. I got this, I think. Thank you, Jungsu. Really. Say hi to Jiseok for me.”
Jungsu said, “Alright. I'll get going then. Don't overthink this, okay? And call me if you need anything.”
Jiung hummed, “Will do. Bye!”
Jungsu replied, “Bye!” and then the phone call ended and Jiung was alone in the silence of his room again.
After his conversation with Jungsu, he felt lighter. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. But with his confusing feelings being sorted out, there also came another thing weighing on his shoulders. What was he going to do about this now?
He surely wouldn't confess his feelings to Intak. That was out of question. There was way too much on the line, the group, their friendship. And he didn't want to risk that. He tried convincing himself. When in reality he'd risk everything for Intak in a heartbeat.
But this couldn't happen. This was just a stupid crush, it would fade over time. He just had to stay strong and wait it out. That's what he kept telling himself. But in the back of his mind he knew that this wasn't going to be easy. Simply forgetting about his crush on Intak? Nothing about that was simple.
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Keeho and Theo were out with the kids tonight. That left Jiung and Intak alone at the dorm. Which Jiung noticed too late to do something about it. He was still kind of avoiding Intak, until he figured out how to keep his feelings in check. Because he couldn't be out there acting like a teenager with a stupid crush when he was around Intak. So he had retreated back to their room when the others had left.
Jiung was sitting on his bed, mindlessly scrolling on his phone, when Intak walked into their shared dorm room. He tried to stay calm, but the other's presence made him nervous nonetheless.
Intak came to a halt in front of Jiung's bed, keeping his distance from the older boy. Jiung could practically feel Intak's eyes boring holes in his head. He gulped. His body was buzzing with anticipation.
Jiung gently put his phone to the side and carefully looked up at Intak, who was nervously fiddling with his hands. He said “Hi, Intak. Is something up?”
Intak looked at him with the most devastating puppy eyes, as he asked “Ji-hyung, do you hate me?”
Jiung felt his heart drop at that. He looked at Intak in shock. Did he really make the other think he hated him? He had been so deep in his head, he hadn't even realized what his behavior might do to Intak. He had been kind of distant, but he didn't realize that it had been so bad to make Intak think he hated him. He immediately felt regret for avoiding Intak so much over the past days.
He got up and put his hands up in defense. “No, no, no! That's not it at all! I could never hate you, Intak.” he spoke, almost desperately.
Intak seemed to relax a bit at that. The younger one replied “Then what is it? You've been ignoring me for days. You don't really talk to me anymore. You always run away when we're alone. You've never been like this to me before, it's… Did I do something wrong to make you act like this? Please tell me what's wrong so I can fix this. I really miss you, Ji-hyung…”
Intak looked at him with pouty lips and teary eyes and Jiung almost fell to the floor. His heart stung in his chest. He couldn't stand to see him like this. Much less, when he was the reason for Intak looking so sad. And he had missed him too, so much.
“I- I'm so sorry I made you feel that way, Intak. I don't hate you at all! I could never! It's just, I've been in my own head so much. I needed time to think about some things and get my mind sorted. I'm sorry that I was so distant to you, I really didn't mean to hurt you.” Jiung looked at him in desperation.
Intak carefully stepped closer towards him. He looked like he wanted to reach out to Jiung, but held back, knowing he might not like the touch. He said, “Ji-hyung, if there's something on your mind you can always talk to me about it. You know that right?”
Jiung couldn't hold his gaze anymore and looked down to his hands. He sighed, “Yeah, right… Not about this, this is just too much. I just… I just can't. I need to deal with this on my own.”
Intak took the last step towards him and carefully took Jiung's hands in his and said “It's okay if you don't want to talk about it with me. But I need you to know that I'm always here for you okay? You're making me worry. So, please, would you stop ignoring me and just talk to me? I really miss you, Ji-hyung.”
Jiung raised his head and was met with the most devastatingly sweet smile. He immediately felt tears well up in his eyes. Damn this sweet boy and his way with words. He was way too weak for Intak's soft smile, the way his lips curved and his eyes sparkled at him.
Intak let his thumbs softly stroke over Jiung's hands, which he was still holding. And Jiung thought his heart was about to explode. It's not like they had never held hands or something like that. Jiung usually wasn't a big fan of physical touch, but he still let Intak do what he wanted most of the time. But this was the first time Intak touched him, since Jiung had the realization that his feelings for his younger friend had changed. And that's what made the difference. The way Intak touched him so carefully, as if he was precious, made his heart melt.
It felt nice, holding Intaks hands, or more so having Intak hold his hands. Jiung felt the heat slowly creep up to his face at that thought. He groaned and let his face fall onto Intaks shoulder, too embarrassed to let Intak see the reddening of his cheeks. Intak let out a surprised sound. It was quite unusual for Jiung to initiate physical contact. But he didn't pull back, he just let him stay there, Jiung's head resting against his shoulder.
Jiung sighed “I'm sorry, I was being stupid. I missed you too, Intak.”
Intak chuckled softly and the sound went straight to Jiung's heart. Then he said, “How about you stop being stupid then and we fix this? What was all of that about anyways?”
Jiung groaned into his shoulder “This is so stupid. If I tell you about it I need you to promise that you don't laugh at me, okay?”
He hadn't really planned on telling Intak about this, but the way he had been smiling at him so earnestly made his heart weak. And Intak's warm presence made all of his logical thinking disappear. Intak just had this effect on him, he made him feel like he could tell him everything. He made him feel so safe. Made him feel like everything was going to be okay. Smiling at him with that stupid dopey smile.
And then Jiung started rambling, trying not to spill too much of his deepest feelings. Still, it was like he was baring his heart out in the open. And once he started talking, it was like a break was let loose and he couldn’t stop anymore.
“... Theo just got on my nerves. He was already hogging you for the whole episode. And then the pepero game, when he said that thing about your lips touching? Is he crazy?!” Jiung stopped talking and stared at Intak, almost in shock. Had he said too much? Was that it?
“So, let me get that straight… That sounds to me like you were… jealous? Because I was close to Theo-hyung a lot and had to play the pepero game with him and our lips accidentally touched? And that's why you didn't talk to me?” Intak stared at Jiung like he just grew a second head.
Jiung groaned and took a step back “Ugh, I know how that sounds. I told you it was stupid! Just forget about what I said!”
He felt his cheeks heating up again and decided that this was enough. This was way too embarrassing as it is. He didn't need Intak making fun of him on top. He made his way around Intak and walked right towards the door, running away from whatever he had just started. His hand reached for the doorknob, but Intak stopped him right before he could open the door and leave the room.
Jiung turned around and the other caged him against the door. Intak looked at him with a pointed gaze and said “No more running, Ji-hyung.”
Jiung gulped as they locked eyes. The intensity of Intak’s gaze made his body shiver.
Intak now spoke in a serious manner “First of all, it was just a game for content! And you know how Theo-hyung is. I didn't intend to be this close to him either, believe me. And for the record, you were going full in with Jongseob too!” He furrowed his eyebrows at the last part.
“Huh?” Jiung looked at him in surprise. He didn't know what he should say to that. Seemed like Intak had some strong feelings about the pepero game as well.
Intak pouted at him and Jiung couldn't help but giggle, the other just looked too cute. “Do I hear a little bit of jealousy here too?” he said teasingly.
“Well and what if so!” Intak replied. And now Jiung could see a light red tint on his cheeks. He grinned up at the younger boy. That certainly was a development he didn't see coming. Maybe the thought of Intak having similar feelings for him wasn't so far off anymore.
Now Jiung felt a bit bold. He carefully placed his hands on Intak's hips, not breaking eye contact.
Jiung smirked “So… should we play the pepero game together next time?”
Intak let out a surprised gasp at the contact, but didn't retreat. They were still so close, Jiung could almost feel his warm breath ghosting over his skin. He let his gaze wander down to Intak's lips. They were slightly parted and looked so kissable right now. He licked his lips. Oh what he would do to kiss him right now.
As he looked back up to Intak's eyes, he noticed that the other's gaze had dropped to his own lips. He couldn't help but smile and bite his lip. Intak gulped and his eyes found Jiung's again. But now his gaze was a different kind of intense. Intak looked at him with hooded eyes, almost hungry. Jiung's heart skipped a beat at that.
Jiung gently pulled at Intak's hips and Intak gladly let himself be pulled towards the older boy. They were so close now, their noses almost touched. Now Jiung could definitely feel Intak's warm breath on his skin. His heart was beating like crazy.
You could almost cut the tension between them. But none of them dared to make a move yet. Jiung thought he was about to go crazy. He needed to feel those lips on his right now. That was the one thought that consumed him.
Intak's softly whispered words cut through the silence between them “I don't think we need a pepero for this, do we?”
Jiung licked his lips and softly whispered back “No.”
And with that they started to slowly inch closer, finally closing the distance between them. Their gazes shifted between each other's eyes and lips, as they slowly got closer. Until their lips almost met. They stopped for a moment, taking a breath, as to give the other a last chance to back out. Intak's warm breath on Jiung's lips made him feel crazy.
And then their lips finally met. Their first contact was careful, as if they were testing the water. Jiung's stomach was doing flips as he kissed Intak. Hours ago he wouldn't even have dared to dream of kissing Intak. But now here he was, Intak caging him against the door and kissing him.
Jiung slowly let his hands wander further up Intak's back, pulling the other even closer to him. Their first careful kisses got deeper. Intak's left hand was buried in Jiung's hair, holding his head in place. Meanwhile his right hand had found its way to Jiung's waist.
The way Intak was kissing him made Jiung feel a bit dizzy. Their bodies were hot against each other, while Intak was still pressing him against the door. Which Jiung absolutely didn't mind, because that was hot as hell.
Their kisses were slowly getting sloppier, until they carefully broke apart, to take a breath. They rested their foreheads against each other, as they were trying to catch a breath. The ghost of Intak's touch still lingering on his lips. Neither of them had the guts to look the other in the eyes yet. Afraid of what they might find when their eyes met.
Once they somewhat calmed down, Jiung carefully shifted to look up at Intak. The other already had his eyes on him and a soft smile on his face. Jiung couldn't help but mirror the smile.
Intak had moved his hand from the back of Jiung's head, to cup his cheek instead. His thumb was lightly caressing the skin there. Jiung leaned into the touch. Intak touching him so softly made him weak. The younger boy was always acting like he was this big tough guy, but at heart he was just a big softie. And Jiung loved that. He loved seeing Intak's soft side. And he loved it the most when Intak was acting soft towards him. He was just too cute.
Intak sighed “Well, that was not at all what I was expecting as outcome of this conversation. But I'm certainly not complaining.”
Jiung chuckled, still a bit breathless, “Well, neither was I, yet here we are. And for the record, I'm also not complaining.”
“Yeah…” Intak said absentmindedly, still looking at Jiung with those soft eyes.
Jiung bit his lip “We should kind of talk about this I think…”
Intak hummed in agreement and said “Right, we should do that… How about we move to your bed? That should be more comfortable than the door I think.” He nervously giggled at the end. He had been the one pressing Jiung against the door after all.
Jiung nodded, “Yeah, right. Let's do that.”
Intak took a step back and immediately grabbed Jiung's hand, to pull him towards the bed. Jiung shivered at the contact. Somehow holding hands felt even more intimate than what they had just done. The feeling of Intak's hand in his was just incredible. It felt so right, like that's how it was supposed to be. Jiung's heart was still beating so fast.
Intak sat down at the edge of the bed and looked up at Jiung, who was still standing before him. Jiung hesitated for a moment, still not really thinking straight, before he let his impulse win. Instead of sitting down besides Intak, he climbed into his lap, caging Intak's thighs between his own. Intak was seemingly surprised by that, but his hands immediately found their way to Jiung's waist nonetheless.
Jiung wrapped his arms around Intak's neck and said “Now that I think about it… the talking could also wait until tomorrow… if you don't mind.” Intak enthusiastically nodded and choked out a “Yeah.”Jiung had to grin at how fast Intak agreed to what he just said. It seemed as if he was just as eager as Jiung to continue what they had started.
Jiung started placing soft kisses along Intak's jawline, not missing how the other shivered under him. When he placed a kiss right beneath his ear, Intak let out a small whine that sent shivers through Jiung’s body. He made his way back to Intak's lips and teasingly placed kisses in the corners of his mouth.
Intak pouted “Ji-hyung… why are you teasing so much.” Jiung smirked at his whiny tone, he was enjoying this way too much. Intak was just too cute when he was being pouty.
He nudged their noses together and looked right into Intak's eyes, as he said “Well, someone's eager?” He couldn't help but smirk.
Intak whined, as he replied “Don't act like you aren't. Who's the one sitting on my lap right now, Hyung?” Jiung grinned “Fair point.” And then he finally leaned in to kiss Intak again. The younger boy was eager to kiss him back and Jiung could feel him smile into their kiss. Intak's rough lips felt so good on his.
Their kisses now were different from their first ones. They were a lot more intense. Intak's grip on his waist grew stronger, pressing him close to his body. And it just felt so right. Jiung sighed, as their kisses got deeper and deeper. This was even better than he could have imagined. Not that he would've dared to even think about this before.
Intak started to let out little noises in between kisses and it made Jiung almost feel delirious. He buried his hands harder in Intak's hair. Their breathing got heavier. They were kissing like they had been starving and this was the only way to still their hunger.
Intak's hands were slowly starting to dip under the hem of Jiung's shirt and he did nothing to stop him. Intak's hands felt hot on his skin. He couldn't help but whine into their kiss, as Intak slowly let his hands wander over his back. This man was going to be the death of him.
Sitting on Intak's lap, while heavily making out with him was surely not a position Jiung thought he would end up in today, but he certainly wasn't complaining.
And the rest was history.
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Later that night Keeho found them cuddled together, asleep in Jiung's bed. And if the first thing he did was snap a photo and send it to Theo, captioning it “finally”, they would never know.
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