Chapter Text
She hates situations like these. She did something again that made the Dahnans afraid of her and chase her like some zeungle or monster.
It hurts.
But she realized a long time ago that this will continue to happen. She overcame the trauma and finally wants to do whatever she wants... But how can she do it when Renans and Dahnans see her as something... Forbidden. It's stupid, especially considering the circumstances.
A year has passed and both sides are still fighting and devouring each other. Renans who still live the ideology of highness and Dahnans who resent all these 300 years. She hopes that when she grows up, it will finally end. Alphen and the rest still have their hands full.
The worst thing about all this is the frustration.
She used to always tell herself that it was her fault, that's why she never felt frustrated and understood the hatred she got, especially as a half-breed. When she finally met Alphen, Shionne and the rest, she had hope. She wanted to help them like she helped her but her methods... They weren't moral. She understood that what she did was wrong and she feels terrible about it but the memories were slowly starting to fade.
But now they come back, every time Dahnan or Renan picks on her nature. Frustration that they can't accept the new world. She doesn't know what was better: Sadness or frustration? Now she feels both things that hurt and hurt a lot. Alphen and everyone sacrificed so much for her so she could be happy but it's hard.
But she can't say that the situation in her life has gotten worse because it's not true.
Despite everything, she began to see and focus on things that would allow her to taste happiness and satisfaction. She found a hobby in taking pictures, drawing and visiting beautiful places and other places. She was thanked a few times for helping a traveler using her healing arts (hiding the hollowing effect of course) and once she managed to meet one of her friends one by one when she was traveling alone.
She may still have a hard time finding her place in this new world but at least she is finally doing it in a way that makes her happy.
She's been thinking about it a lot lately, she usually thinks more than she talks but now she has to focus more on escaping from the Dahnans chasing her. She can hear their screams and insults all the time.
"Monster!"
"Freak!"
"Renan bastard!"
These are definitely not people from Elde Menancia, even though it is located here. She's pretty tired of it but they can't catch up with her and as soon as she's out of sight for a second she'll melt away like always.
Her Astral arts have always been useful in terms of escaping and defending. During the incident with Cal Beisel she realized how immense her power is but also how dangerous it is. She prefers not to use too much power if she doesn't have to. The idea of flying on astral energy wings from realm to realm would be convenient but also terribly tiring. She'll have to ask Rinwell sometime how to use her astral arts properly.
She did as she said, she was behind the house and she was gone...
The Dahnans were shocked, searching for her, searching every place and every pebble. Passing invisibly around them, there was a seed of fear in their angry faces. Fear that Nazamil understood.
The Dahnans are afraid that everything will be like it used to be. She doesn't blame them.
Nazamil left, walking down the road with her invisibility on. She saw a sign that showed where she was heading
Niez, Mahag Saar.
The worst of all the worlds in terms of tolerance Renan. The place where people hated her the most. She was just going to go through Mahag Saar to get to another place that was not fondly remembered by her.
Ganath Haros, her home realm.
She had to go there, she had things to take care of. Finally, she turned off her invisibility when she could finally go in peace, or at least she hoped. Her eyes were tired from constantly using astral energy to make herself invisible, and she hadn't slept well lately. The ranchkeeper had let her sleep in the barn for healing him once. He didn't have a bed, so that was the only option, but it was comfortable... Just cold.
She hopes that somehow someone won't remember what she did to those people... She probably hasn't been burned alive by the populace yet, because none of them remember that she forced them to wear suppressor masks.
Although even if that happened, there were probably a few people in Niez who really knew she wasn't evil... At least she preferred to tell herself that because it had been a month since she had been like that.
For now, she had to focus on avoiding this place altogether. She didn't care that her supplies were running out, if necessary, she would fly all of Mahag Saar on her wings even if she had to lie down for hours afterwards. She could still go through that shortcut in Cyslodia, but she hated the cold... Just like Niez, actually.
She kept thinking about all this, walking through some kind of border village with her scarf on her head. Not because she was ashamed of her nature (Although there was some truth to that), but mainly as a harness in case those Dahnans from earlier also lived here. She didn't want to cause trouble, it was one of the reasons she left her friends.
Speaking of which... She wondered where Alphen and Shionne were now? Of all of them, she met them the least. The last person she saw was Law, whom she randomly met in a tavern in Viscint. She even had a nice chat with him despite their differences in character and told him to give her greetings if he met others. She could have asked about it then, but Law seemed lost in thought. She hoped that everything was fine with him, no matter what happened.
As she continued walking, she could admire the landscape of the place and even see a bit of Mahag Saar from a distance. Sometimes she stopped in similar places and started drawing or taking pictures of many beautiful places.
Then, finally, she could see the sky getting darker. Is it getting dark already? Luckily, there was a place nearby where you could light a fire. Apparently, it was some kind of merchant trail, who stopped in such places to rest and relax.
As for her equipment, she keeps everything in a small travel bag that she bought recently. It would be better to find one of these Renan items to store if it weren't for the fact that Renans don't like sharing them very much (unless I'm in Elde Menancia, but even then Nazamil can't afford it at the moment). Despite that, she doesn't complain. It's enough for her to eat, although she admits it would be easier if she had Kisara's fishing skills.
She started gathering some wood from the already fallen tree trunks in the area. Once she had gathered it, she lit the wood with astral art, creating a nice campfire that she sat down by to warm herself. The small spark turning into a source of light gave Nazamil a sense of security in this difficult world. A world that is still learning how to live in peace.
Her heterochromic eyes began to close after a while until she finally sighed as her body began to lie down. She used her scarf so that it would give her more comfort than the hard green, under the scarf.
She had peace... She could continue to dream and think.
She would like to be like her friends, who were able to achieve so much together. She is happy that she met them, because it was the best experience in her entire life. Thanks to them, she can be herself and not someone who lives by orders. But she dreams of one thing the most...
To meet new friends during her adventure, who will accompany her.
Nazamil Hildris has wanted nothing else since she became her own person. She will make friends, who she will then show to Alphen and the rest, as proof that she can handle life.
It's just... She needs some time... And courage. Deep down, she still catches herself thinking introvertedly, shyly or afraid of making decisions (The latter especially after the events with Cal Beisel), but she also went on this adventure to improve herself. There are better and worse moments, and what drives her the most is hope.
Hope, thanks to which she finally falls asleep in peace, and not with uncertainty.