Work Text:
“What's this for?” he'd asked, holding a humongous painted ceramic flower pot.
“Your tomato plants. You said you needed a bigger pot and I found this in your favourite colour so…” Yuuji trailed off with a shrug.
His reply was nonchalant in character, as if it was no big deal that he'd specifically found a comically large flowerpot in his boyfriend's favourite colour.
It had to be customised. There was no way a normal person would decide to make a mushroom themed flowerpot in the colours white and ocean blue.
Except those weren't Megumi's favourite colours. Not even close.
“... Lavender,” he stumbled out, staring down at the pot in his arms.
Yuuji looked up from the groceries he was currently unbagging and stocking into their kitchen.
They'd met each other through a random roommate matchup and one thing led to another; a blink of an eye and they'd been dating for 3 months.
“What's lavender?” Yuuji continued to pack food into the refrigerator.
Megumi cleared his throat. “My favourite colour… it's lavender. Not blue.”
There was a silence for a moment, the rustle of the groceries bags paused and Megumi slowly looked up at Yuuji.
The pink-haired man frowned his face up in thought. Then he nodded, “Oh, I didn't realise. You seemed like a blue guy to me. But okay!”
He gave Megumi that knee-weakening smile he was notorious for, and then the rustle of the plastic bags started up again.
Megumi had nothing more to say. He muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ and retreated to his bedroom.
Although they slept together, Megumi and Yuuji kept their own rooms for private space. They always slept in Megumi's room, his sheets were softer and more expensive thanks to his sponsor.
Gojo nearly had a heart attack at the thought of his nepo baby sharing an apartment with someone else but Megumi couldn't fathom living alone for 4 full years.
Megumi set the pot down on the floor beside his desk. Later he would move it outside to the balcony where he did a little gardening as a calming method.
The pot stuck out like a sore thumb. It was offensive compared to the soft purple of his bedsheets, his rug, his computer chair— hell, even his LED lights were specifically dimmed to appear lavender.
Jesus. How could someone get this so wrong? It was just a colour, a very apparent colour. Almost every sweater Megumi owned was lavender.
Yuuji’s favourite colour was grey. But not light grey, like charcoal. Nearly black but just enough white in it to make a difference. That was obvious to Megumi.
He realised then, that he couldn't be sure exactly what Yuuji knew about him. Did he know Megumi's favourite food?
His favourite place to visit when he's stressed? His family members' names? What he wanted to do for work?
Megumi could name all of those things about Yuuji. He knew he could. He spent every moment learning something new about the man, whether from Yuuji himself or their mutual friends.
Megumi knew this topic would leave him with a sour taste on his tongue until he got his answer.
As Yuuji made love to him that night, Megumi came up with an idea to relieve himself of those burning questions.
~•~
“Do I have to be here?” Nobara plopped herself onto the feather-stuffed sofa in the couple's living room.
Nobara had known Yuuji first since they grew up in the same neighbourhood in the countryside.
The two of them weren't extremely close but when they ended up going to the same university, they naturally gravitated towards each other.
Megumi had met Nobara almost immediately after meeting Yuuji. Those two were like oil and water for a while until they understood how the other functioned.
Nobara was 1 of the 4 friends Megumi now shared with Yuuji. She'd been avoiding them a little more after she began dating Megumi's cousin, Maki, but they knew it was more about her trying to spend as much time as possible with her girlfriend than outright avoiding them.
“You're here because I need your help to make a point,” Megumi quickly explained before setting down a bowl of assorted fruits that Nobara instantly dug into.
Yuuji sat beside Nobara and picked out some sliced strawberries to eat. He liked strawberries cut into fours down the middle, Megumi knew that.
“A point about what?”
Nobara had somehow devoured majority of the red grapes in less than 2 minutes and was bulldozing her way through diced pineapple pieces.
Megumi sighed. He knew the moment was now or never. He couldn't drown it out any longer, he had no choice but to face the music.
“Yuuji, we need to talk.”
The noise in the room was instantly sucked out by the gravity of his words. Everything was utterly silent, just like that time in the kitchen the night before.
Megumi couldn't be sure that there was no sound, that this wasn't just his tinnitus acting up until Nobara mummered.
“Oh shit.”
Yuuji straightened up, the sparkle in his eyes dimming slightly as he realised this was a serious moment.
Megumi wished he hadn't said anything at all. He picked at his cuticles, just enough pressure to ground himself not to bleed.
Now or never. Now or never. Now or–
“I feel like you don't actually really know me.”
Shit. He did it. Started with an ‘I feel’ statement, his therapist would be proud.
Yuuji blinked, his face frowning again. “What do you mean? Of course I know you.”
There it was. The moment Megumi knew he was about to go very off track from ‘I think, I feel’ statements.
“You do? What's my favourite food?”
Yuuji shook his head, “What does that have to do with—”
“Answer it,” Megumi cut him off. “What's my favourite food?”
“Miso,” Yuuji sighed. He'd gotten miso soup for Megumi every single time the brunet had caught a cold during the almost year they've lived together.
Megumi shook his head and looked at his female friend. “Kugisaki-san? What's my favourite food?”
Nobara looked at Yuuji, then at Megumi, then at the half empty bowl in her hands.
“Chicken shogayaki… with extra ginger.”
Megumi gave a satisfied nod. He knew what the outcome would be. He knew before he even came up with this idea.
He looked at Yuuji and the pink-haired man had a scowl on his face.
Next question.
“What's my favourite season?”
Yuuji answered, “Winter.”
Megumi shook his head, “Kugisaki-san?”
“It’s summer. You actually hate winter.” Nobara quickly caught onto what Megumi was doing.
The rounds went by faster and the more Yuuji got incorrect, the more his mood soured. Megumi couldn't tell, he was also getting more disappointed as this game went on.
~•~
“Favourite movie?”
“Human Earthworm 2.”
“Kugisaki-san?”
“You’ll say you don't have one but it's secretly The Lighthouse.”
Nobara was correct again. Even if Megumi wouldn't admit that one, the thought of that film did make him smile.
~•~
“What's my dream profession?”
“... Veterinarian or something with dogs.”
Sigh, “Kugisaki-san?”
“Wildlife biologist.”
Correct again. 0-6.
~•~
Megumi saved the best for last. Or maybe the worst. He couldn't tell for sure.
“What's—” he had to pause and pray for a minute. Megumi had to pray that Yuuji would get this last one right. He had to.
“What are my dogs’ names?”
Yuuji cursed under his breath and took a while to answer, “K…alo and Hima…? Kalo and Hima.” He nodded his final answer.
Megumi nearly cried. He almost fell to the floor and sobbed. 10 questions asked, not a single one right.
These weren't obscure things Megumi kept hidden. He hated winter because the cold reminded him of freezing as a child when his good-for-nothing father would run off with Tsumiki’s mother for weeks at a time without regard for their children.
He never liked any of the Human Earthworm movies. He tolerated them because Yuuji loved them. Put one on and Megumi would instinctively gag.
And his dogs. Kuro and Shiro are everything to him. They're the wallpaper on his phone, their barks are his ringtone, there's been more than one school break where Megumi has taken Yuuji back home to meet Kuro and Shiro. Yet he didn't even know their names.
It was like a slap to the face. No, it was more than a slap to the face. This was a stab, in the stomach. Not the back, right in the front.
It shouldn't have been as much of a surprise since Megumi could see the knife coming straight for his stomach, but the surprise was there and it hurt even worse because he’d prayed it wasn't happening.
“Get… get out.” Megumi stumbled over his words. Tears spilled from his eyes without warning.
He stood from the sofa too quickly. His vision went black and he felt hot. He was going to throw up.
Yuuji stood up after him, reaching to grab Megumi's arm. “Meg…”
Megumi stumbled back, snatching his arm away. “Don't touch me. Get out,” he repeated.
Yuuji didn't move, he stood there staring as if he was surprised. He was surprised? If anyone had any right to be anything it was Megumi and Megumi only.
“Fushiguro-san, maybe we can—” Nobara attempted to play mediator and placed her arm in between the two of them.
Megumi pushed her away. “No. Get out. Get out. Get out! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!”
The door slammed shut.
Megumi didn’t know when or how they left. But his senses came back when he was alone, standing in the middle of their— his living room.
His legs gave out and he fell to the floor. All Megumi could do was sob. He couldn't breathe enough air to make a sound so he gasped for breath in the form of broken cries.
Yuuji didn't know his favourite colour, his favourite food, his favourite movie, his dreams after school, or the names of his dogs but had seen every single part of his body.
He had let himself become the person who made physical connections instead of emotional connections just to feel less lonely. Megumi had failed himself.