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The days had been getting darker, and although Dazai tried to support the home with the little strength he had left, something in the air told him that things were not going to get better. The house that had once been filled with laughter, jokes, and quiet moments between the two of them, was now a place of silence. Chuuya was becoming more distant, but not for the reasons Dazai imagined.
She had noticed how her husband was moving away little by little. The small arguments had turned into something bigger, until it got to the point where Chuuya was no longer responding like before, like he didn't care at all. And worst of all, when he tried to talk to him, Chuuya would simply ignore him or respond indifferently, as if his presence no longer had meaning. And Dazai didn't understand why.
What Dazai didn't know was that Chuuya was actually under tremendous pressure. Life was coming at him, with tasks, responsibilities, and the constant feeling of being trapped in an endless cycle of stress. Work, the demands of daily life, the pressure to be who everyone expected him to be... all of it was wearing him down. And, although Dazai tried to deal with everything with his usual carefree attitude, something about him was beginning to irritate Chuuya.
It wasn't that I hated him. It wasn't that I didn't love him anymore. It was that Dazai, with his lightness, with his relaxed demeanor and apparent lack of worries, only made Chuuya feel even more overwhelmed. The constant feeling that nothing was serious enough for Dazai burned inside him. What Chuuya couldn't understand was why Dazai couldn't see the intensity of what he was experiencing.
And as always, I didn't know how to communicate it calmly. When she saw him smile carefree, her frustration turned into anger, and without realizing it, she began to blurt out hurtful words, as if she needed to release all the pressure inside her.
"Don't you care about anything, Dazai?" he said one night, his voice thick with anger, when Dazai tried to joke about a little problem he'd had during the day. "Why do you see everything as a joke? "I'm here trying to keep things under control, while you continue doing whatever you want as if nothing was happening."
Dazai tried to get closer, wanting to calm him down with a gesture or a soft word, but Chuuya rejected him. “No, Dazai. I don't want to hear your jokes. Not everything is a game. Do you understand? Not everything in life is fun! “I can’t continue living in this chaos just because you don’t take anything seriously.”
Dazai, in his infinite patience, tried to hug him, but Chuuya pushed him away with a sudden movement. "Don't touch me," he murmured, his voice cracking with stress. "I just can't take it anymore. Being with you only makes me more frustrated."
And with those words, Dazai knew that something had broken. I couldn't continue ignoring that something wasn't right. But, although he tried to ask him questions, Chuuya did not give clear answers. He only remained distant, as if each conversation brought them closer to the abyss.
That night, after some more arguing, Dazai made an impulsive decision. I couldn't stand the tension anymore. He didn't want to continue being the source of stress for Chuuya. And she knew that, as much as she loved him, sometimes the best solution was to give him space. So he packed a few things, left a note, and left without looking back, not really knowing what he was looking for, but feeling like he was walking away from a problem he couldn't solve.
Chuuya, in his heart, didn't want Dazai to leave. But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel relieved that he didn't have to deal with any more complicated conversations. The stress was stronger than his love at that moment. Only after Dazai left did the house become completely silent, and Chuuya realized how empty it was without him.
However, Chuuya's pride did not allow him to go after him immediately. The days passed, and although he wanted to call him, send him a message, or even go look for him, something in him told him that he should be the one to take the first step. However, with each day that passed without Dazai, Chuuya felt emptier, more confused.
Finally, after a week, he couldn't take it anymore. He realized that his anger was not at Dazai, but at himself, at the stress that was consuming him and that he didn't know how to handle. He had hurt Dazai with words that meant nothing, only the manifestation of his inner frustration.
So, one afternoon, Chuuya took the car keys and decided to go look for him. He knew he had hurt him, and although his pride continued to scream that he didn't need it, his heart kept insisting that Dazai was the only person who had always understood him, even if he hadn't been perfect.
He arrived at Dazai's apartment, and there he found him, alone, with tired eyes but still with that sad smile that always characterized him. Dazai didn't say anything when he saw him. She just stood there, watching him with the same calm she had always had.
Chuuya stood at the door for a long moment, searching for the right words. In the end, all he said was, "I'm sorry, Dazai. I've been an idiot."
Dazai stared at him for a moment, and then, as if the entire weight of those days fell on him, he sighed. "I'm sorry too, Chuuya. I love you. But I don't know how to continue when I can't do anything to help you."
Chuuya finally entered, closing the door behind him, and plopped down on the couch. "I was so stressed... I don't know how to handle all this. But that doesn't justify what I did."
Dazai sat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, as if the simple gesture of touching him was enough to say what words couldn't. "I know. And I'm not perfect either. But, Chuuya, being together doesn't mean everything is easy. Sometimes, we need to talk more, understand each other better. "You don't have to carry everything yourself."
They both stayed there, in silence, for a long time, without any more words, just the comfort of being next to each other. Chuuya couldn't promise that everything would be resolved immediately, but in that moment, at least he felt like he was no longer alone in his battle.
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Of course, here is the continuation:
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The silence in Dazai's apartment was overwhelming. Although they both sat on the sofa, the atmosphere between them was still charged with awkwardness, as if something was floating in the air without being said. Chuuya was there, by his side, but he still felt a deep emptiness within himself. His anger had been an overreaction to stress, something he hadn't known how to handle. Now that he saw him in front of him, with that calmness that is so characteristic of Dazai, he realized how much he had hurt him.
"What I said… I didn't mean it," Chuuya murmured, finally breaking the silence. "I was just so… overwhelmed. And you always seem so… calm. I couldn't stand it."
Dazai stared at him, his dark eyes reflecting more than just understanding. "It's not that I'm calm, Chuuya," he replied softly. "It's just that in some way, I try not to let everything get the better of me. But, sometimes, seeing how things affect you makes me feel helpless. I didn't know how to help. And in the end, I left... because I didn't know what else to do."
Chuuya closed his eyes, frustrated with himself. "You didn't have to leave. I didn't want you to leave. I was so angry that I didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't want us to walk away, but my head just wouldn't stop spinning."
Dazai sighed, letting out a long breath. "It's not easy, is it? You don't always know what to do when the pressure becomes unbearable."
"Exactly," Chuuya said, looking up at Dazai. "And the worst part is that you... you always have that way of taking everything so lightly. And what bothers me the most is that you don't know how that makes me feel. It makes me feel like everything is a game to you."
"I'm sorry," Dazai responded with a softness that surprised Chuuya. "I know it's not a game. But sometimes I try to make things not affect me so much. It's my way of dealing with them. It doesn't mean I don't care, but… I don't always know how to handle it."
Chuuya clenched his fists, still upset with himself. "I mean, it's not that I don't care about what you feel. But the stress is eating me up. I don't know how to handle it. I feel like if I don't take it out on something, I'm just going to go crazy."
Dazai watched him silently for a moment, noticing the anguish on his face. "That doesn't justify what you said. But I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes, when the weight of the world seems to fall on you, it's easy to let it drag you down. You just… you don't have to carry it all alone, Chuuya. You don't have to be the only one wearing it."
Chuuya stayed silent, biting his lower lip. "I don't know what to do. If I could just let go of all this damn stress, maybe it could be… better."
Dazai looked at him with a slight smile, as if he completely understood what he meant. "You know you don't have to do it alone. I have my problems too, but if we share them, at least they're not just yours anymore."
Chuuya looked at him intently, and for the first time in a long time, he felt some relief. The weight on his shoulders didn't disappear immediately, but knowing that Dazai understood him and didn't judge him made him feel a little lighter. Maybe all was not lost. Maybe there was still a way to heal what had broken between them.
"You know, it could be a lot easier if I didn't have to do all this alone," Chuuya admitted, his voice softening. "I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to let me carry this all the time. I just don't know how to deal with everything. I'm exhausted, Dazai."
Dazai leaned towards him, placing his hand on his shoulder as calmly as he always had. "You don't have to do it alone, Chuuya. I'm here. I always will be. If you ever need to talk or vent, you've got me."
Dazai's words were like medicine to Chuuya, something he needed to hear to finally let go of some of that inner rage. The guilt of hurting him was beginning to fade, replaced by a sense of comfort, of knowing that all was not lost.
There was still a lot to talk about, to resolve, but at that moment, something in the two of them was beginning to heal. The love that had always existed between them was still there, although broken by words and stress. But now, they knew they could rebuild it.
"Dazai..." Chuuya finally spoke, with a softness he rarely showed. "I'm sorry. I took it out on you when it wasn't fair. It's not your fault. You don't deserve it."
Dazai smiled, his expression soft and calm. "You don't have to apologize to me. The important thing is that you're here, and that we're talking about it. That's what counts, Chuuya."
They both stayed silent for a while longer, without words, but with each other's presence serving as a bridge to begin to overcome everything that had happened. There was so much to resolve, so much to heal, but at least they were no longer alone. And that was a good start.
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Of course, I continue with the story:
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Time passed, and although not everything was resolved immediately, things began to calm down little by little. Chuuya and Dazai began to find a balance between themselves, although the scars of their words were still evident. Sometimes the arguments would arise again, but not with the same intensity. There was an unspoken understanding between them: words could hurt, but love and patience were still what united them.
Despite this, not everything was perfect. Chuuya, although he tried to open up more, continued to struggle with the stress that consumed him day by day. The little things, those that once seemed insignificant, now became mountains that he didn't know how to climb. And even though he knew Dazai was there, close, ready to support him, the pressure he felt on his shoulders didn't go away.
One afternoon, Chuuya came home later than usual. He had had a tiring day at work, and the fatigue had left him irritable. When he opened the door, he expected to find Dazai as always, resting or making one of his silly jokes, but this time it wasn't like that. The house was silent.
"Dazai?" he called, looking around. But he received no response.
He shrugged, thinking maybe he was out or doing some chores. But something inside him bothered him. The house did not have the same warmth as before. Loneliness seemed to engulf him. After a few minutes, he heard a soft sound coming from the study, and as he approached, he saw Dazai sitting by the window, looking outside.
Chuuya stood at the door, watching him silently. Sometimes Dazai would have those moments of introspection, where his usual façade would fade and he would get lost in his own thoughts. And although Chuuya knew that it wasn't always easy for him to talk about what he felt, that distance between them was beginning to be too evident.
"Are you feeling okay?" Chuuya asked, his voice softer than usual. He didn't know why, but something in Dazai's tone told him that everything was not okay.
Dazai didn't turn around immediately. Instead, he stood there, staring toward the horizon, as if searching for something in the air that only he could see. Finally, he sighed. "I'm fine, Chuuya. Just…thinking."
Chuuya frowned, approaching him slowly. "Thinking about what?"
Dazai finally looked at him, but his eyes didn't have that playful sparkle they usually had. They were dull, as if there was something deeper going on inside them. "Thinking about everything that has happened. About you. About me. About what we are doing wrong."
Chuuya felt a knot in his stomach. He didn't like seeing Dazai so serious, so distant. He had always been the pillar of calm in her darkest moments, but now he seemed to be faltering.
"If you need me, just tell me, Dazai," Chuuya said, his tone firmer. "I don't care that you're going through something. I am too. But I don't want you to leave again."
Dazai stared at him, almost as if he was evaluating Chuuya's words. "It's not that, Chuuya. It's just… I'm starting to realize something. "You've been fighting your own demons for so long that I've gotten used to just being the support, but I don't even know if I'm really helping."
Dazai's words hit Chuuya hard. At that moment, he realized that Dazai had been keeping his own thoughts and feelings quiet, trying to be the "steady one" for him, when in reality he needed support as well.
"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice softer, almost unsure.
Dazai turned fully to look at him, wearing a vulnerable expression he rarely showed. "I mean, I'm not sure I'm what you need, Chuuya. Sometimes I feel like my presence only adds more pressure to you. You can't carry everything, and I… I don't know how to help you."
Chuuya's heart tightened upon hearing those words. The feeling of guilt invaded him again. He had been so caught up in his own stress and frustration that he hadn't considered the weight that Dazai was also carrying. The simple fact that he was acknowledging it now, so openly, made Chuuya feel like he had failed.
"You don't have to be perfect, Dazai," she replied quietly, moving closer to him. "You just have to be here. And I... I'm going to try to be here for you too. What I feel is not your fault."
Dazai smiled slightly, but it was a sad smile, filled with a melancholy that Chuuya had never seen in him before. "It's more complicated than that, Chuuya. But… thank you. Thank you for trying."
At that moment, Chuuya understood that although the love between them was strong, it was not enough to solve everything alone. They both had scars, they both had their own fears and insecurities, and they couldn't carry the weight of it all without talking about it, without sharing it.
"I'm going to try to be better," Chuuya said, with the firm determination that only he could have in those moments. "I'm going to try not to take it out on you. But I also want you to know that I care about you. Even though I sometimes get desperate, I don't want to push you away."
Dazai nodded, although his gaze was still thoughtful. "It's not easy, Chuuya. But we don't have to do it all at once. Let's go step by step. I'm willing to try."
They both remained silent for a while, without words, but with the feeling that at least they were no longer so far from each other. Chuuya knew that the road would be long, full of ups and downs, but at least now, they were both willing to walk it together.
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