Work Text:
Couldn't I just tell you the way I feel?
I can't keep it bottled up inside
And couldn't we pretend that it's no big deal
And there's really nothing left to hide?
--"Couldn't I Just Tell You" - Todd Rundgren
Daria can't say why she ever thought walking most of the Freedom Trail in the middle of January was a good idea. They really should have waited for spring break, other than the fact that they've both been talking about going somewhere other than Boston for the occasion. They should probably get that set up soon, come to think of it, especially if they're going anywhere together; travel plans will only get more and more prohibitively expensive if they put it off until March.
Anyway, she can at least say why Jane was up for the walk. She's always been a sucker for taking pictures of cemeteries, and having her pick of three of them, each over three hundred years old, amounts to putting a kid in a candy store. It doesn't make for much in the way of conversation, at least while Jane's got the camera up to her face, but the company doesn't suck and it gives Daria a little time to think.
On the other hand... well, it's giving her time to think, and sometimes that's not a bonus. Especially when it's something she's been trying to ignore for a while (it'll never work, it'll work even less than - oh, never mind), even though it's been eating at her mind more and more since November.
And apparently, the down side of making friends with a minor celebrity is that he keeps bugging the hell out of you to do something about that which cannot be done. Or something. Whatever the case may be, Collins is starting to frustrate Daria; she has to wonder how his friends have put up with it for so long.
Except she does have a good reason to be curious, and that curiosity gets the better of her by the time they get to Copp's Hill.
"So what was up with your photo portfolio for last semester?"
She has to fight to avoid facepalming after she asks the question, and Jane's so busy taking pictures of Cotton Mather's grave that Daria's pretty sure she didn't even hear it. But then Jane lowers her camera and says, "Should there have been anything up with it? You were in all of the pictures I liked."
"And why was that?"
"...Because I didn't make the full rounds of the city's cemeteries by December?"
That excuse falls flat enough that Daria raises an eyebrow. "You're only that evasive when there's more to it than what you're saying."
Jane sighs, and takes a few pictures of another gravestone - even knowing what Puritan naming traditions were like, Daria still can't fathom why anyone ever thought 'Increase' was a good name for their son. Daria lets her evade the question a while longer; just when she's on the point of saying something again, Jane stops dodging the point on her own.
"It's complicated," she says. "And... well, it's never been - it's not something I've ever thought I could bring up. Probably just as well I hadn't figured it out when..."
"When what?"
"You remember that whole thing with Allison, at the art camp?"
Daria nods. "It was pretty hard to forget, once I got the whole story out of you." For more reasons than Daria's ever cared to admit, but that's another story entirely.
"Well, I did some thinking after that. And I... I've never been able to decide if I was more jealous of you or Tom."
That stops Daria in her tracks. "Why would you have been jealous of Tom? I was the one stealing your boyfriend, that part actually makes sense, but--"
"But Tom clearly had something I didn't if he'd caught your interest." Jane says it so fast that Daria's almost certain she misheard - at least, until she looks over and see that Jane's cheeks are redder than the light breeze can account for. "And you were happy enough with him, and you haven't really been looking lately, and you're way too straight to even think twice about it so you're probably about to freak out and strand me in a cemetery. So now you know."
It's a lot to take, in, but it does explain a lot, in its way - enough that when Daria finally has it all as processed as it's going to get before she gets back to her dorm, she says, "I do. I know that we're a pair of complete idiots who each thought the other was never going to take an interest."
"You... but - you've never acted interested in anyone, Daria. Except for my brother and my boyfriend."
"I thought you knew by now how little I like people. Low esteem for everyone else, remember? Going from a massive crush on your brother to stealing your boyfriend seemed like a very good reason not to say anything. As did you flat-out saying you liked guys."
Jane sighs. "I didn't want to freak you out. It's one thing to not like someone hitting on you because she sees an opportunity, but having a crush on your best friend? I didn't want to make things awkward."
Jane goes back to snapping pictures for a while, and Daria ends up staring into space across the street, at a house that's got to be narrower than her dorm room. Oddly, the ensuing silence isn't all that awkward; it was probably worse when they were fighting over Tom before they knew they were fighting over him.
But before too long, Daria's had enough of just standing there trying to figure out why anyone would build a ten-foot-wide house in the first place. "So... since we haven't made things awkward after all, is it worth giving it a shot?"
"Well." Jane takes a few more pictures, apparently thinking it over. "If you want to, I don't see it hurting. But... I can't lose you as a friend, no matter what. I think we'd both completely lose it if that happened."
"Oh, I agree. How can you despair at the state of humanity with someone after you've been through a nasty break-up?"
Jane grins, for the first time since they started this conversation. "Exactly."
"All right then."
With that, the snow that's been threatening for most of the day finally cuts loose; it's only flurries for now, but the clouds are thick enough that it could become more in no time. Daria eyes the flurries for a moment, then says, "We should probably start back."
"What, you don't want to go up to Bunker Hill?"
"Not if this stuff gets any worse. Besides, if we head back now, we'll be near somewhere reasonable for dinner by the time we're hungry."
Jane smirks. "Why, Daria, are you asking me on a date? I never thought I'd see the day." For all her teasing, Daria can tell she really means it.
"I think I am. But don't expect me to make a habit of it or anything."
"Oh, don't panic, I'll do my share of the asking." Jane turns off her camera, and starts heading out of the cemetery. "Let's, then, before we get snowed out of our dorms or something."
It feels so natural, Daria thinks, as they head off - not holding hands or anything, neither of them is that sappy, but they're both very much aware of what's changed. And maybe, if it feels this right, they won't screw everything up in the attempt.