Chapter Text
The village had been alright. Iterators, now inside their vessels, had appeared very frequently. Although the lack of iterator superstructure warming the area around made winters harsh, things were okay. Spectral Manifold found it all a bit… dull without hunting to do. Although they were one of the most skilled hunters, the slugcat colony nearby certainly helped with it enough that they found themself a bit bored at times. There was only so long they could stare at the small jar of ashes around their neck, and even though they loved music pearls and all they entailed, they could not say it was a hobby they could fill that itch with.
Most iterators were thriving in the village. The high upkeep meant everyone had something to do, but even with being newly 23 (which had about scaled to fourteen, as Chasing Wind estimated) they found the other iterators still treated them like a child. Not unexpected, and certainly better than the power gap of child to god, but equally infuriating. Their vessels were not even slightly as old as Spectral Manifold was now, just sped up with godly manipulation. Still, iterators never changed their mind on it. There used to be a lot they had to do, repairing an old military base and getting everything running, but now they had more than thirty iterators, who could all take shifts and manage the rest of the messes Spectral Manifold was deemed unneeded for. Not to mention about ten more homunculi.
Boredom was not Spectral Manifold’s favorite feeling, they wanted to get out and kill the burning in their limbs, wanted to run around the deeper forest and try swimming far away from the camp. There were only so many times you could try to perfect a composition of a pearl that you could never create. On top of that, the lack of an arm meant they had much more difficulty doing basic tasks like carrying something that required a bit more effort or climbing a pole. Granted, poles were something most iterators hated now, but at least they could climb it like a rope. The children around the village, newer versions of the original blueprint of their previously ideal chimera form, had been getting a bit on their nerves. It wasn’t something the children did, no, it was that they looked like C1 and C2.
They never figured out new names for C1 and C2. The labels felt wrong but every name they could ever try to ascribe to their late siblings could never work just on the basis that they would never hear it. Even with the necklace letting them carry C1 and C2 with them at all times, they felt a bit of resentment. Seven Red Suns had long apologized countless times, and they had explained the situations several times. It was understandable, a slip up, they could not reach them in time and even when they got to C1, it was much too late. That felt a bit worse, actually. Their siblings were taken from them by accident , even if negligence helped the outcome.
With this boredom, the lack of overseers to watch them all the time, it was only a matter of time before they started wandering. They did it under the guise of finding plants at first, but when they realized nobody noticed if they came back before night they got bolder. Sneaking out was… fun, rule breaking just for the sake of it- even if it wasn’t technically a rule now- was nice to draw the line between parent and child. Not that they disliked Five Pebbles, he was a good father (even if the occasional story of him before was a bit horrifying) but there was that power struggle with every iterator. Spectral Manifold could not let go of the lack of control they felt when they were younger.
Rebellion didn’t do much but feed them a steady thrill. They went out at night, ditched their hunting group sometimes, or did a task late. Five Pebbles didn’t do much, Looks to the Moon simply looked them over to check for injuries, Seven Red Suns was a bit too uneasy about the acquaintanceship they had built up to say anything, and No Significant Harassment simply figured they would stop with age- despite the fact he never did.
Spring meant food was plentiful and constantly available, and that meant there wasn’t much to do after they finally got enough food for the day. The adults took over most jobs and Spectral Manifold was left poking their head anywhere they could find something unfinished.
The children of the village were still quite young, some got close to Spectral Manifold’s age, but they couldn’t say they always enjoyed babysitting. At the very least, sometimes they got extra snacks from the iterators as a thank you.
All of this to say, Spectral Manifold was painfully bored. It was a horrible thing to say, but they slightly preferred living in a can without Seven Red Suns and No Significant Harassment around constantly. Objectively, they were alright, but they couldn’t say they were preferable to just Five Pebbles. They set off for the woods in some attempt to find something they hadn’t seen yet. The trees provided a tall foliage, even with how few there were.
The woods were not too thick, but noise didn’t carry easily at low levels of elevation there anyway. So it was pretty surprising when they felt a tap on their shoulder. Spectral Manifold instinctively reached for a large rock in their pocket, before noticing who it actually was. Comets Within Glass chuckled, they weren’t really close to each other, but they talked every so often when they accidentally ran into each other in the woods. “Out here again?”
Spectral Manifold nodded, staring at the spear he carried with him. “You found a centipede.” They pointed at the little centipede plates he had on his jacket. “How far are those?”
“Brave enough to try and kill a centipede without a spear, are you?” Comets Within Glass was not an exception to underestimating them. They prickled a bit, even though he was right. “I think Five Pebbles would have my head if I got you into some trouble anyway.”
They huffed. “He wouldn’t notice.”
“He would, speaking of which-” Spectral Manifold continued through the woods, trudging along a bit less quietly now. “-he wants you back there for something, I think it’s some new clothes.”
“Not going.” Five Pebbles and Seven Red Suns were a bit too… sappy at times, and it felt a bit generally disgusting. Looks to the Moon and No Significant Harassment were too close for them to call it an option, and Unparalleled Innocence was busy at the moment.
They’d been spending more time with Unparalleled Innocence. She liked fashion a bit more than most, and they had to admit the dress designs she talked about sounded rather nice. Although, she’d been running low on cloth last year, so they couldn't sew with her and Five Pebbles. “C’mon, it’ll be fine.”
“None of your convincing is going to change my answer.” They looked around after nearly stumbling into a tree root. There was more metal debris around. “Go tell them I’ll be back later.” They had made it to the area with a ton of metal from the old iterator very few times, and they were bored enough that they just continued through.
They assumed from the huff and crunching sounds getting further away that Comets Within Glass had left. They crouched down and began sifting through the metal and concrete shards on the floor. A few of the rocks looked a bit appealing, a little larger than the one they usually carried, but not too heavy. The metal was rusty and badly decayed, which was definitely disappointing, but they slipped some shards back into their pocket anyway.
There was a clear line between the woods and the remaining destruction of the iterator who used to be here. Not that they knew why, as nobody would tell them anything . The treeline broke apart around there, like something was stopping them from reclaiming it. They moved closer until the hill of remains became too steep.
They went around, hoping to find… anything to justify why they refused to come back. The rubble really had nothing worth their time, but the upper parts might’ve had something. It was still somewhat intact, even if the lower parts were a disaster. The scraps hurt to step on, but they couldn’t find enough care to stop. Considering their travels through Shaded Citadel, Metropolis, and the Underhang, they could handle a bit of discomfort.
Certain parts of the mess looked almost normal. Some power rails almost looked like they emitted the slightest glow- even though it was impossible. They weren’t one for exploring too far, especially when it came to new creatures they didn’t know how to deal with. Even with the rush of running about unsupervised, they couldn’t really handle that little itch of fear. There were plenty of interesting spots in the mass of what used to stand hundreds of feet above them.
Spectral Manifold felt around the rocks, trying to get a stable grip before giving up and just stepping back. They’d made hundreds of risky jumps in their life, but they couldn’t say it got any less stressful, especially when they were landing on the remains of an iterator’s corpse. There had to be something good about it, that they could make useful, some new pearl that they hadn’t read yet- anything entertaining. They stumbled as they landed on top of a long degraded wire mesh, their foot smashing straight through it. “Goddamn-” The sharper parts of the wire scraped against their skin, and they had to admit their annoyance was… very loud.
They sat down, still fuming quite a bit, and looked around.
Iterators were strange things. They never really saw one collapsed, aside from Looks to the Moon- and most of her Superstructure was inaccessible. This iterator- despite them knowing nothing except that they couldn’t be saved- was almost looking intact in the upper parts. Like the city could be reached if they just tried. It felt alluring, a great prize up there- they didn’t know what, it just felt so… beautiful. Like they were meant to be up there, to find it-
(What was it? They needed something from up there- no something up there needed them-)
A familiar voice, somehow more grating than they thought it’d be. They weren’t usually annoyed at him, they just… they didn’t know. “Done yet?” They turned around, about ten feet below them by the treeline was Comets Within Glass. Still in his stupid spiked jacket and smug look. “I used to act like this, so did Five Pebbles from what I hear.” They groaned in annoyance, dragging their hand down their face and making a point to look as uninterested as possible. “Parents are a real piece of work.”
“I don’t wanna hear about how the gods are just like me.” They couldn’t really bridge that gap in their mind, whether they were floating above with a violently flashing halo that looked like thunder itself or talking around just like their siblings used to, they were above them somehow. “I don’t want anything to do with you guys right now.”
Comets Within Glass looked up, almost checking if they could make the jump up there. “I used to fight with the ancients.” He spoke in that damned tone where he was trying to gently lead them back to camp like some child that could be mindlessly dragged around-
Spectral Manifold didn’t want to go back, they had plenty of daylight and they ate already- this was stupid! They reached into the rubble, tossing a few of the smaller rocks at Comets Within Glass. “I don’t want to go home right now, are you deaf?”
The pebbles barely even got close to him, but the message was received. “Okay, fine, you want to make a deal?” They looked defensive. “Listen to me for a little bit, and you can have this spear I have with me.” They… they wanted that spear. There was only so much you could do without one and it’d help them get higher up and find whatever was calling for them.
“Deal.” They answered after a moment.
Comets Within Glass sat down, obviously too pleased for Spectral Manifold’s liking. “So, when I was pretty new, I got into this cool movement from about three thousand years ago at the time. All about rebellion, being your own person, sticking it to the man. I did a lot of stunts in my day, and being a new iterator was nothing to not be upset at the ancients for, mind you.” Spectral Manifold leaned a bit closer to listen, their anger simmering back down. “So many restrictions, I hung out with anyone who agreed they hated the monotony. I couldn’t really see the point in working with them.”
“But?” This was some big thing to convince them, wasn’t it?
“I met a bastard named… something or whatever, some mass excess of some object. Names get fuzzy sometimes, especially when they’re all pretty similar. He was… weird, obsessed with nature, the ecosystem, all of the likes, but he had an administrator he was obsessed with. Tied at the hip, best friends. I called him strange and I couldn’t get it, really.” He hummed a bit sadly. “He was the luckiest out of all of us, having someone high up who cared about him.”
Spectral Manifold tossed a few more rocks, not at Comets Within Glass, but just down the slope. “What’s the point?”
“What’s your problem with Five Pebbles? Your turn to share.”
They huffed. “What gave you that idea?”
“Okay, then who else is it about?” He looked up expectantly, also tossing a few rocks from the gravel. “Unparalleled Innocence? No Significant Harassment? Seven Red Suns?” Their face soured a bit, and they almost instinctively reached for their necklace. “Seven Red Suns then?”
Reasonably, it wasn’t Seven Red Suns’ fault. They were freak accidents that they couldn’t stop in time. So, reasonably, Spectral Manifold shouldn’t be so… upset. “Why should I tell you?”
“This is a deal, you tell me and I tell you.”
They tossed the rocks with a bit more force. “This is confidential.” He nodded, mumbling some acceptance. “I have no peers, oldest other homunculi are 12, and the formula for my species has changed so much I’d be classified as a subspecies. Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon are so caught up in enjoying being free that they’re always busy with friends, and I can’t follow Unparalleled Innocence around all day! What am I supposed to do in this god forsaken complex?”
Comets Within Glass sat up, stabbing his spear into the highest point he could reach. He looked a bit more surprised than they expected, and took a minute to think. “Okay, go explore, you have thirty minutes. I’ll lie and say you were with me in the meantime.” He sat back down at one of the trees. “And my ‘moral of the story’ is that you can be friends- even slightly- with people ‘above’ you.”
“Was that really it?”
“No, not originally, but you sounded like you would use that one more. I’ll come get you if you don’t come back soon.” Spectral Manifold scoffed. “Don’t get stuck in that feeling, kid.”
They leaned over the ledge, pulling the spear out and beginning to head further into the rubble. “Thank you, I guess.” They mumbled, unsure if Comets Within Glass even heard them.
They stood up, stretching and getting a good look at their surroundings. The whole place had been wrecked for a long time, but that didn’t mean the structure wasn’t accessible. After a good look, they began to climb up through the more intact parts of the legs. They could, albeit barely, hear occasional snorts of amusement from Comets Within Glass. They stabbed the spear into a wall- making a mental note to thank him for the donation later.
They never heard why people didn’t go around this area. It was a collapsed iterator, surely there was a lot to pillage, right? Or had people been exploring and nobody told them, like usual?
The thought of all the secrets slightly got on their nerves. They understood why the little ones were kept in the dark, they were bumbling children that the iterators didn’t want to spoil the ‘innocence’ of. Spectral Manifold was far past the point of needing to have everything awful hidden from them. Sometimes they felt slightly grateful they hadn’t known certain things about Five Pebbles back then, but they wanted to know now. They wanted to know why Five Pebbles had such disdain for Speary, why he never let up on that grudge until they made it to Seven Red Suns’ structure, wanted to know why their siblings and predecessors had been killed in the crossfire.
Spectral Manifold didn’t like the confusion, or getting information through hearing gossip mumbled by passing iterators. Five Pebbles couldn’t even relate to that burning anger they had anymore, and he didn’t want to share his stories about when he had it. Ruffian wasn’t around to explain what to do with this, how they moved past the feeling of needing to make them know everything they did wrong.
(They looked at that bone mask with a lot of consideration after retrieving Looks to the Moon. They didn’t know what had fully gone down, but they had the question “Was it worth it? Did it make it feel better?” stuck in their head.)
After a good bit of searching they found what they were looking for. A pipe slightly covered by rubble, with the symbol of a gate. They stabbed their spear into the ground, beginning to try to dig at the stuff covering their entrance. They weren’t really sure what they’d do about the gate, but they… knew somehow that this was important. Whether or not the others had found this first, they knew something about it could be useful. Whether it be tearing apart the structure for resources, or just finding pearls, this would be good .
There were some sharper things hidden in the blockage, but they didn’t really mind. It would probably take a good amount of time to heal any broken scales from this, but they couldn’t find it in them to stop. It took… longer than they wanted it to and they needed to go back soon but the entrance being unblocked was enough to slightly soothe the constant burning in their soul.
(It wasn’t enough. It could never be enough, nothing Seven Red Suns could do- no amount of suffering or apologies- would ever fix the hatred of slowly clawing through gravel and boulders with only one arm.)
They huffed, forcibly tearing themselves away from the tantalizing promise of supplies and information. They walked back down the large hill of scrap metals and rocks, only slipping about once (with no witnesses!)
Comets Within Glass stood at the treeline, cutting away at a tree’s bark with a rock they assumed was from the collapsed structure. “Took a while?” They could’ve taken time to explore the damned thing if they had an arm .
“Don’t start right now.” Again, that horrible itch ate at their mind. They wanted to-
“Where’s the spear?” He stared expectantly. They didn’t have the familiar weight in their hand, they reached up for their antennae instinctively. Their hand was swatted away by Comets Within Glass. They could hear him mumble something along the lines of them reacting just like Five Pebbles. “You can go get it tomorrow, it’s fine. We have plenty, and even if we run out I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”
They followed behind him, occasionally glancing back at the eternal city sitting above the dusty wreckage. Eventually, the fragile trees obscured it once more, and they looked back towards the Complex. The softer leaf covered gravel and dirt was much nicer to walk on than the remains of the structure. They almost didn’t notice the scrape on their foot- formed by the wire they fell into- burning. Comets Within Glass walked confidently, but even he looked a little exhausted about walking such a long distance.
Not that Spectral Manifold liked being forced to walk so far. They had softened up a good amount since arriving. Even though they had… tons of work before things started to be even slightly as good as the Ancient’s society. Even with the head start, the village was a little… dull. Houses were a bit primitive- wood stuck together with… whatever, they didn’t know. Not that the others didn’t try teaching them, they did a lot to set up a learning system later on for the children. Spectral Manifold found they liked hunting and sewing more anyway. Although one handed sewing was annoying, they had to admit the time with Unparalleled Innocence was worth it.
She was one of the only adults who didn’t baby them as much as everyone else. She was a real gossiper, which some iterators looked down on but they found it much nicer. They could always rely on her to tell them something, even if it ended up being inaccurate.
She liked dress up and making doll clothes for practice. She made nice dresses with as many frills as she could justify the cost of, and Spectral Manifold… wanted to be like that. They wanted to sew clothes all the time, make dolly things, wear elaborate dresses, and know what everyone had going on. They wanted to be like Unparalleled Innocence.
They looked over at Comets Within Glass. He was almost the opposite of Unparalleled Innocence. Lizard skin jacket with centipede plates as a show of strength, a badly made collar with little spikes, and a penchant for questioning the rules and commands. He did what he wanted- hell he was about to lie and say he spent some extra time with them outside when he just let them go out and wander around some ruins. They liked the way he did what he thought was right, how he did things his way. They wanted that.
But even then he was leading him back to the boring village where they had nobody their age who bothered, filled with iterators busy with other people, filled with adults they didn’t know who didn’t care, leading them back to Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon, who were almost just as awful. Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon were free to do what they wanted, and tried to catch up on lost time every second of the day. No Significant Harassment was still the damned iterator who used to make all their testing courses harder for them just because, and Seven Red Suns was still a bastard who couldn’t save the people- the children!- they were supposed to care for.
Unparalleled Innocence couldn’t spend all her time with an aimless teen either, she had her own work and friends to talk to. She had her own chemistry to estimate, her own… weird stuff to work on. They couldn’t really understand all the things she made.
Spectral Manifold didn’t know how to begin talking to all the other kids around. They all had siblings and other homunculi they grew up with, they had other people their age, they had something they loved to learn about, and things to spend their day doing. They didn’t have moments of pure boredom or frustration.
Spectral Manifold tossed the rock in their pocket, and tried to ignore the feeling of abandoning the excitement of discovery to go sit among some boring adults, children, and people almost old enough to be their peers that they couldn’t figure out how to talk to.
—
Spectral Manifold burst into the hut without much care of the force they put on the wood around the door, Comets Within Glass following closely behind. “Dad?” There wasn’t any answer, meaning they had to look for Five Pebbles. They tried to ignore Comets Within Glass looking down at them with something vaguely akin to pity after they let out a tired scoff. They promptly walked out the door, slightly pushing him out of the way- they didn’t… they’d need to apologize after but they couldn’t at the moment.
They end up finding Five Pebbles talking with Looks to the Moon a little bit further away, by the hut of a group named ‘WILARASOUGHT’. They remembered that because Five Pebbles and Seven Red Suns had some connection with one of the members and hung out with them every once and a while.
(They could remember what it was like when they… well suspected each other. Of what exactly Spectral Manifold was never told, but it was something kept on the down low. The kind of thing all the kids- them included, for some reason- were shooed out of the room for.)
Five Pebbles perked up upon seeing them, and Looks to the Moon stepped closer to them to look over them. “We spent a bit of time walking around, if you don’t mind.” Comets Within Glass lied easily, almost surprisingly easily- if you didn’t know him at least. Spectral Manifold mimicked his expression, trying to see what made it more convincing. They weren’t good at understanding facial expressions, so a good quick study of them was always welcome.
“Please come back quicker next time, you vanished for a good while.” Looks to the Moon looked over them, and looked more worried than Spectral Manifold would like. “Your cloak is dusty.”
They glanced over at it. Looks to the Moon was right, the off-white cloak now a messy brownish-grey. They didn’t really like being reminded that it was a cloak, not really a dress. Even if they couldn’t work up the courage to ask for a dress, they could pretend. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll wash it later.” They wanted to be back in the woods, especially when faced with Five Pebbles quiet, worried glance that they usually got when they disappeared for too long.
Five Pebbles paused, glancing over at Seven Red Suns. “Do you need a curfew?” They suggested it rather lightly, but Spectral Manifold still bristled. Five Pebbles seemed to think about it more before waving it off.
“Don’t get hurt.” Five Pebbles warned. “Don’t do something stupid.” He had that tone he used when he was being vague. Their groupmates usually nodded knowingly- and as per usual they weren’t told what exactly it meant, but they had ideas. “I’m sure Unparalleled Innocence has a project you can help with.”
Seven Red Suns mumbled something about an idea for a rule that Five Pebbles seemed to disregard. They didn’t listen in, going off to the work hut in an attempt to ignore that same vague allusion to some history that Five Pebbles had (and would likely never tell.)
Predictably, Unparalleled Innocence was in the far corner with two other iterators. They weren’t sure what to think about new rules potentially being put in place, they were going to break them, obviously, they weren’t going to spend more time than they had to in the village, but the prospect still frightened them a bit. They didn’t want to wander around aimlessly in a dead end village.
Everyone else was so content where they were, they went about life like nothing was wrong, like nothing bad had ever happened! They hummed at the sight of themself in a half shattered, smudged mirror, their antennae were rather long now, and their face looked… almost normal- aside from their bad eye still being pinched half shut. The paint marking on their face had faded.
They didn’t know what they wanted to replace it with, they tried a lot of combinations, some ranging from covering a decent portion of their head to being miniscule. Some were just shapes, some on theme with their name, but none really fit properly. None looked just right, always looking a little off compared to their face.
They tried karma symbols at first, even X karma at one point- which they removed after Seven Red Suns made some mention about it making them look like Sliver of Straw. Next they tried some symbols, mimicking the other people in the group- they even tried Seven Red Suns’ markings.
( It made them feel nauseous, and they were grateful Unparalleled Innocence didn’t comment when they furiously scraped it off. )
Spectral Manifold didn’t take much more time to stare at the person in the mirror, turning away to see one of the iterators around Unparalleled Innocence gesturing them over. The hut was a little nicer than most, with a little room with three cots in it as a… very rudimentary room for people who weren’t hurt enough to go to the ‘clinic’.
The clinic was the bunker, of course, which was the most sterile so it turned into the clinic. Not that they had access to advanced medicines.
Unparalleled Innocence looked over them, making a face as she winced at the sight of their clothes. She wasn’t really the type to get too dirty with her own clothes. It was a little… annoying, they wanted to wear fancy clothes like her, but they also didn’t want to get limited by keeping them in tip top shape. Also, her clothes had awful textures sometimes. It really just felt like they couldn’t win. “Innoooooo…” A nickname for her that they picked up upon about… maybe nine years ago? They couldn’t recall who started it. “I’m bored.”
“Up for sewing?” They paused. They… they weren’t. They knew what they wanted to do- deep down- some kind of… revenge or breaking into that structure, that structure that needed them somehow. They couldn’t… do it. They couldn’t do anything. “Hello?”
“No. I don’t know what I want to do.” They pulled at their antennae, it provided no comfort but something to pull them back to life. A horrid habit, they had been told, maybe it was a family thing. They saw Five Pebbles pull at his antennae when he was a full iterator, or he’d smack his arms when things got particularly frustrating. “I don’t know anyone young here, and every iterator is thousands of years old.”
(Spectral Manifold had that habit for a long time before Five Pebbles though, it was stopped by C1. That thought made the never ending itch worse.)
“Why not take Ruffles for a walk?” She suggested, glancing out of a ‘window’- a cut hole in the wall with seethrough fabric filling it- and making a seemingly neutral face at Five Pebbles and Looks to the Moon. Well- if you didn’t know her at least. Spectral Manifold had grown to be rather prepared when she had that look on her face, it was usually when she was going to be honest with them- unlike everyone else. “So… what prompted this?”
They huffed, typically they wanted gossip that wasn’t about them. Although it was good to know what they thought. “I’m not four years old, I can go out by myself.” The two beside Unparalleled Innocence hummed with interest. “Hell, I could probably go out by myself when I was four .”
“I wouldn’t say that.” She looked slightly amused. “I knew you when you were four, you were still hiding under cloaks.”
“Shut up.” They groaned, gesturing wildly. “I’m perfectly capable! You all are busy doing- everything! I cannot find one task I’m assigned for that isn’t hunting, cooking, or scavenging! You know how much of that is taken care of this time of year? Almost all of it!” They paused, looking at the small bit of chalky white paint they had left for the facial painting.
Unparalleled Innocence didn’t… she didn’t react at all, just the same contemplating bullshit- “Go with Ruffles, I’ll talk about your shifts.”
They didn’t feel any better as they walked out.
—
Spectral Manifold had to admit that hanging out with Ruffles felt nicer than hanging out with a ton of iterators so caught up in the drastic change from superstructure to village living. Ruffles was good to talk to, having grown up with the scug from the very start. It was nice to have someone who knew everything that happened. “-and you know what happened? Forgot the damn spear!” Ruffles nodded, big eyes that took up a good portion of their face fully focused.
“You get an excuse to go back?” Ruffles chirped, their language skills had gotten better after Ruffles was fully taught- after all, who else would they talk to about all of this?
Ruffles made a good point, the spear was a reason to go back, and if they got extra time then it was also an excuse to head deeper in. “Yeah, but I still gotta deal with grabbing the damn spear. At least Comets didn’t tell anyone about it, I don’t want to have to deal with another talk about how ‘spears are valuable here’ and all that bullshit about making them. You don’t have to make them overly sharp, any damn broken pole can do the same job!”
It wasn’t the first time they’d forgotten spears somewhere else, and Ruffles covered for them more often than they’d like to admit. No one could get mad at Ruffles, and they abused that more than Spectral Manifold thought possible. “ What’s the spot like? ” They hummed, thinking about the thrumming building.
“Old superstructure far… west? To the far left of the bunker entrance facing the village, you can follow the old railway system tracks there. It’s so… you know how scavs break off superstructure parts and turn them to spears or tools and rocks- I thought we could try doing that.” Ruffles looked a bit skeptical. “Listen, I know you like the trading system we have with the scavenger tribe far off, but it’s just not effective! Not as much as it could be.”
Ruffles nodded. “ And? ” They paused, almost stumbling because of how quickly they stopped.
“And what? I wanna go into the structure- the iterator hasn’t been rescued, if they’re even alive, and if they’re not alive we could salvage a ton of tech from inside! I’m not a science-y person but you have to admit a rarefaction cell could be groundbreaking.”
Ruffles looked odd still. “ No sing-y stuff? ” That’s what they meant.
“I know you saw those too, and I know… whatever they’re called are cool-scary but I don’t know! It just seems so… something to do with my time! You can’t say the normal here isn’t boring, right? It’d be so cool to salvage stuff- I’d be open to learning if it was so hands-on. I can’t study another pearl textbook, you know how boring it gets.”
They didn’t look as excited about the ramble as they hoped they’d be. “ Dusty could… help with it.” Dusty… They could admit Dusty was a very good ally for most things. Although their language differences were a problem, they were rather good- a high ranking member of their tribe.
“No offense, but then we’d have to share. Independence from everyone else- wouldn’t that be cool? If the trades fall apart then things could get strange but if we had a reliable and quick source of spears, then that’d be… perfect! We already trade food and bombs.” Spectral Manifold rambled on, seeming a little wistful about the idea. “Wouldn’t it be cool?”
Ruffles shrugged as best as they could. “ Okay. ”
“It’s just… wouldn’t it be nice? Super cool at the very least? Even if their rarefaction cells have been lost, tell me we couldn’t learn something from the power rails?”
The itching- the burning- the weird lack of satisfaction- it all felt so menial when talking like this.
It couldn’t last. Soon they would be angry that they couldn’t have this more often, couldn’t have their siblings experience all the boredom with them.
It felt as if it only got worse if they soothed it.
What did they want..?
—
Spectral Manifold couldn’t sleep. Sleeping had gotten pretty strange through the past few years. They never got over that insomnia, but they learned new ways to deal with it. Having a cot to themself helped a lot- it let the fabric droop a little more than the old one in the can, like a hammock. They usually stacked blankets- and if they couldn’t sleep with that then they’d remove the blankets. If the blankets weren’t the issue, they’d sneak out- usually grabbing someone like Comets Within Glass or Ruffles for a quick walk at night. They’d gotten the ability to emit light from that neuron fly down rather well, so they didn’t need any lanterns.
Something was different though, a new itching feeling they couldn’t place. The urge- no they needed to find something. They didn’t know what they just needed to-
They hadn’t noticed they were moving until they nearly stumbled into the door frame of their room. They’d wandered before, not sleep walking, just a half mindless daze towards a vague ‘singing’. After gaining focus, and more boredom, they opted to just break into the work hut. (Was it breaking in if nothing except the bunker locked?). There wasn’t any good food there but there was what could vaguely be called ‘bread’. In all honesty the bread was a duplicate that was missing so many ingredients it came out as a thick slab too dense to eat on its own without being sickeningly awful.
It shouldn’t be stale now, right? It was rather dense, but with some blue fruit it was alright. That sounded good enough. Blue fruit was a damn near constant in most areas- which was a major bonus because the other fruits they’d encountered weren’t usually tasty. Even if they didn’t turn out to grow basically everywhere, they had enough seeds to set up a farm wherever they settled, and they did set up a farm! The farm was alright, and looked pretty most of the time. It wasn’t really their thing though. They knew Looks to the Moon had taken some interest in it, but they wouldn’t say they were interested in asking to participate knowing No Significant Harassment would not be far behind.
( The farm was beautiful, flowering plants they saw a week ago suddenly being much taller. The delight the younger kids took in digging the holes for the seeds. One of the older homunculi holding a red flower, occasionally glancing back at them with intrigue. Comets Within Glass rambling on about one of his groupmates who were obsessed with the flowering season. Harsh winters leaving behind empty garden beds and hard, yellow stems as remains. The sounds of the others mourning the plants lost. )
After a quick break in of the work hut, they stumbled around until they found it, ‘it’ being what could vaguely be named ‘bread’. After slowly- rather choppily, actually- peeling off a slice, they paused, feeling safe enough to blink their light on.
Immediately, it felt more safe with the light on. They paused, looking around the place.
Shit, did they want to go out and find blue fruit? The ones in the garden weren’t freshly ready yet. Could they maybe… get someone to let them into the food storage in the bunker?
Chasing Wind was an option… being one of the head medical charges surely they had a key or something, right?
Yeah. Chasing Wind definitely had a key. They could say it was a late night craving and they’d probably hand it over. Totally.
They headed back to their hut, taking a brief glance at the many other huts, the light seemed more blue tinted than usual…
It wasn’t hard to sneak back in, or to sneak into Chasing Wind’s room. Spectral Manifold was good at sneaking around- they might have been louder when grappling with their arm being gone and learning how to balance that, but they had mastered it now. Not that it was usually necessary- but it was a fun skill they had.
They spent a minute wondering if they should wake them up, surely they could just not deal with the mortifying ordeal of asking and gather some up from the woods?
God, no, they didn’t want to.
After setting their bread down on a table, they stepped closer, crouching down and slightly shaking Chasing Wind. Their bed was a little lower to the ground than the others, and Spectral Manifold was tall enough that it’d put them just above eye level with the iterator.
( They were very pleased about being taller than Five Pebbles. Hearing their father complain a bit about the fact that their height seemed to almost rival Looks to the Moon felt like a burst of pride- like it was some honor to see above them. )
“What..?” Chasing Wind mumbled, obviously still sleepy. They paused, thinking about how Comets Within Glass and Chasing Wind asked for things.
“Could you unlock the shelter?” Chasing Wind slowly rose, and they followed suit right after. “For blue fruit- uh… jam? Depends.” They enjoyed making jam, but it took a while and they didn’t want to stay up too long.
Chasing Wind rubbed at their eyes, putting the fluffy blanket they were laying under to the side. They looked around the room with the light that Spectral Manifold emitted. After a short moment, they stood up and took a key from the bottom of a stack of maybe four or five cloaks and some other clothing. “Just this once.” Chasing Wind stood up, gesturing for them to follow.
Chasing Wind seemed unprepared for how cold it was outside. Of course- everyone was a little shocked by it in the mornings. They wondered why they weren’t- was it because they were caught up thinking about something else? The Shelter was always rather warm, and they were a bit excited about getting inside for the nice conditioned air and heating. It took a bit to get the generator working- but it was very worth it. Chasing Wind fumbled with the key a bit, a side effect of the cold probably.
Chasing Wind stepped back from the now open hatch, looking over at them expectantly.
( They jumped in without using the ladder when they first made it to the bunker. The others looked worried, awkwardly using the ladder- so boring! They made a habit out of it, no matter how concerned or frightened Five Pebbles looked each time. They… still did occasionally but it was so- )
Seeming to notice their hesitance, Chasing Wind took the ladder down first, making some remark along the lines of ‘shut the hatch when you get down’. Spectral Manifold didn’t know what was wrong with them- they were so used to it, why did they feel almost frozen now?
They went down soon after, ignoring the confusion as to why they were so caught up in the past, and frustration, and anger, and-
Chasing Wind was staring at them oddly. “What?” It came out with little force, but more anger than they intended. Chasing Wind just hummed in response, focusing their attention on the fridge. They looked up, huffing before awkwardly shuffling up the ladder again, grabbing their bread- no doubt rather dirty now, did they even want to eat it now?- and dropping back down.
The bread looked… like it should. It looked the same aside from some dust but they couldn’t muster up anything that felt like an appetite, just dread. Looking back up, they decided to look around the Shelter more. Nobody was sick- good, because they didn’t think they could bare another person staring at them- so it was pretty empty. It wasn’t really a ‘shelter’ in the traditional sense. It was like a house. A very compressed, war-made house. They were just grateful it had the option of being powered by a rarefaction cell, since the generator it came with died soon after they arrived.
( They remembered looking out the window of a train, moving so fast it made them dizzy. The marvel the iterators shared when riding on one. The fear. )
“Are you alright?” Chasing Wind spoke again, and this time Spectral Manifold jolted a little bit. They tilted their head in confusion, gesturing with a blue fruit in their hand. They paused, before asking again. “Are you alright-”
“Yes! I’m fine.” They were exhausted. Weird singing, promises, karma rememberings and thoughts. They were so… weird now. A little too lanky, less nimble- it was just age and growing pains but still!- a little too ignored. “I’m just… Nothing to do.”
Chasing Wind had been quite helpful when indulging their music pearl fascinations, so it was obvious when they suggested it. “We have a music pearl somewhere around here. Helps the kids sleep, want to play it for a bit?”
They wanted to protest that they were not a kid- that they had just as much importance and agency as everyone else but…
They nodded, dropping their bread on the desk and sitting in one of the bunkbeds a little further back in the bunker. Chasing Wind continued along, taking a knife and cutting the blue fruit into little chunks. They put them in a small bowl, and tossed a music pearl stuffed into the glove needed to play it at them. Spectral Manifold stumbled a bit over their words as they just barely managed to catch it. “Whuh-” They looked up at Chasing Wind just in time to see them sign ‘play’ in the same disjointed way that-
( C2 aggressively signs play in a weird way, but C3 follows anyway. C2 is older and more powerful, but ‘somehow’ C3 always wins- )
They pushed back the feeling of tears trying to form, awkwardly putting the glove on and trying to focus on keeping the pearl in the air and playing. It comes like second nature now. They remembered hundreds of times where they dropped it, but now they bet they could do it half asleep. “So…” Chasing Wind sits down next to them, casually chowing down on the blue fruit. “You don’t have to tell me anything, but if you want to I’m here.” It’s words they’ve repeated probably a thousand times. Words when they’d be sat down and talk about how they felt, when Five Pebbles scheduled everything.
“I’m… itchy.” There’s a look on Chasing Wind’s face that looks more like the doctor part than the psychologist- although Chasing Wind insists that both professions are doctors, and Spectral Manifold insists that an iterator could never have whatever a ‘doctorate’ was. “There’s something I need to… I need it, I don’t know, it feels like I’m getting ripped apart.” There’s something horrible in their chest, a strange nausea. “I’m… like my heart will stop working, but then continue in an unfamiliar beat.”
Chasing Wind looks unprepared, but god when have they ever have when it came to them? Spectral Manifold wasn’t even prepared. “What do you think you need to find?”
“Whatever is doing this- there’s something-” They cut off, dropping the music pearl and shuffling the glove off to steal a bit of fruit to try and ease themself into calm again. “I want to go to the old iterator, you know them- right-?” Chasing Wind nodded. “They have something- I don’t know what it is, I need to get in there though. I… I was practically walking there when I woke up- I… nobody will let me or tell me but-”
There’s a hand on their shoulder that they smack away immediately. Unlike the unfamiliar iterators who try to talk to them, Chasing Wind understands immediately. “Go.” They paused, and Spectral Manifold cannot begin to understand their facial expression. “I’ll take the fall for letting you wander off if they find out. Come back before daylight though, okay?”
“What?” They paused, staring for a moment before…
Well, fuck it who else would let them? “Shit- uh… thank you, I’m-”
“Don’t cuss in front of the kids-”
“I know!” They stood up, taking one last piece of blue fruit before hurrying up the ladder. “I’ll be safe! Thank you!”
—
The walk to the iterator was honestly a blur, mixed between excitement, anticipation, fear, dread, the fact that Chasing Wind and Comets Within Glass trusted them enough for this. The worry about the fact they would probably not be back by sunrise was fixed with the fact Chasing Wind would take the fall, and if they did it right they could probably lie about where they were anyway. That weird feeling, the pull dragging them there didn’t cease once they could see the pile of rubble through the darkness, but it eased just enough for them to think again. It was a mess, really. They wished they prepared a bit more, cloak they wore wasn’t bad by any means- clean and warm still- but they couldn’t say they didn’t wish they had more layers or bothered to eat on the way.
After a while of stumbling through and praying they didn’t trip in the darkness, they found it. A glint of long, sharp metal buried right where they jabbed it in last. After a quick moment of climbing back up, and finding the gate- spear in hand- they almost wanted to… run. Like something here was malicious, it was probably dangerous- this iterator collapsed, surely it would be a hazard. That familiar call came again, that feeling washing over them completely rendering their mind a single focused mush.
Spectral Manifold climbed through the pipe, finding a horribly collapsed gate, broken open without need to activate it. They didn’t even think it could be activated.
Slowly and carefully stepping through the gate, into the more intact half, something became clear.
( A soft blue flash and a freezing temperature- as if the cold was what kept them suspended above, forced to watch. This had happened before, they needed to remember. )
They had pulled themself away from this temptation before, Angel tugging on their arm and pulling them away, right? That… comfortable cold… that-
A flash of pain hit them as they stumbled, and they let out a scream. Everything pulled apart, a burning sensation covering their entire body, a freezing cold they couldn’t get off of them, a corrupted-
Everything pulled together, and they gasped for breath. Looking up while shaking. They were warm again, just like before, but they couldn’t get rid of the uncertainty and fear. After finding their spear and composure, they decided to get out.
( They are being pulled apart, they can feel it. It is not like the echoes- a peaceful bit of advice they’d never remember and the feeling of completion. Their blood flows the same, but their mind doesn’t forget. )
The gate has been sealed. It looks like a fully intact gate, even. The karma requirement is X karma, and Spectral Manifold cannot help but feel it is too late to leave.
“I’ve been waiting.” Whatever it is, they cannot even think before the next wave of pain hits. It is like one of the floating little snake-like beasts, golden and free, but it projects the image of an iterator with the same horrible eye of an overseer. “I’ll show you the elevator, when you’re done.”
Its eyes are soft, a pulsing color- a rough gradient not smoothing into each other- and it almost looks friendly. Spectral Manifold feels attached, almost, like they’re one and the same.
( Base instincts reborn, slowly, they do not know why they do not throw their spear. They assume because it feels friendly, it knows though. )
“Warped Symmetry.” It greets, in an all too cheerful tone. “I’ll help you get out, relax.” It- Warped Symmetry?- is so calm despite the migraine-like pain throughout their entire body. It’s like they barely notice, but it doesn’t matter. They mumble comforting words that Spectral Manifold cannot catch despite the clarity they speak it with.
“Let me out.” The last bout of pain (they think) passes and all they can wonder is what the hell fixes a gate in an instant. “Let me out.”
Warped Symmetry huffs, almost amused. “I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s not exactly possible.” Spectral Manifold pauses. Surely there is one gate they can use to get out? They could sever the iterator from the structure- maybe force them to open it-? “You’ve got some echoes to get to before this place returns to well… normal.”
Echoes, the memories are vivid now. One professing love for owning a name, one trapped by their own spot they sought comfort in, one speaking of gifts they couldn’t get, one warning of hate, one speaking of the concept of being trapped in life. “How… many- how do you know?”
Spectral Manifold never found anyone who was able to see the echoes at the same time as them. It was a struggle to even tell anyone that they could see them- with the way the memories dissipated so easily. “Four. It’ll be fine, you’ll be safely transported back home once we’re done. I’m simply your guide.”
It smiles too wide, its eyes are a burning gold and they emanate a gentle blue light. They leaned against the now intact pole in the middle of the room. “I’m… I…” They can’t get words out, but if this is like any other echo they’ll forget. It will just need to be done. It will be fine.
Warped Symmetry was black and white, split down the middle. The antennae they possessed looked more like fins than the traditional iterator antennae. “Your name?” Warped Symmetry asked, stopping them from focusing on their looks any more.
“Spectral Manifold.”
“Wonderful.” Its overseer-like beast moved quickly, and in the second they couldn’t find it their mind panics like they’ve been abandoned. “Come on. It’s important.”
They crawled through the tunnel ahead, and tried to ignore the situation.